Once, long ago, I received a feedback that made me overwhelmed. It wasn't overly negative but it didn't feel like the other person (reader) liked it. I'm not really a fan of my own writing (idk the style changes with time and context 😭) but I think it's heavily influenced by what I read.

After that I felt discouraged and I didn't want to share my work ever again. Is this feeling kind of immature? To hide away from public feedback but still want it? Did it happen to someone else too :(

it is a haunting. I can still smell you in the quiet. I can still taste the absolute reality of you burned deep into my brain.

​And the absence you left behind has become a phantom pain;

an excruciating, visceral ache, like missing a piece of my own soul that has been severed away.

And yet, you faked the hunger.

​To what end? Was I nothing more than a mechanical toy in your hands, an experiment to break just so you could offer a hollow apology when the springs snapped? Did I force you into the act, or was it purely malicious; a calculated cruelty just to use me? Or is the truth much colder? Am I simply that repulsive, that you woke up and realized the sheer reality of my being was too ugly to bear?

​After the fire we touched. After everything we did. How could you manufacture an illusion that deep? What kind of absolute madness is wired into your core to fake a soul connection?

My days of free will were nothing but a cougar with ermine walking down the streets

Only I, me and my internal organs see me bleed

Let my happiness scar with a stain of water

Maybe that's why I cannot erase the stain of water

It's sick just to speak against Gods

I had also imagined all the proses when I remembered I wrote against Gods

"The total... was paid in full?" the grandmaster whispered. He began shrinking, his moss vest turning into normal, everyday lawn clippings. He turned into a single, unpeeled onion and rolled away.

I’ve been posting big word count milestones (80,000…90,000) and recently I reached 100,000 words🤯 at this point the story has become much clearer to me and I’ve got a skeleton to work with. I try to write 2,000 words every day in the drafting process.

I went back to the beginning of the book and wrote about my main character Captain Louis Wolffe leading his squad of soldiers (all humans except for a lanky, towering metal alien) to provide security detail for a popular night market on their homeworld Tertullia. The plot is set 1,000 years in the future so they arrive via dropship. I’m growing the world’s unique culture to expand the lore.

So, this is the primary story I'm writing, and it has been awhile since I've gotten any feedback on it, so, I figured it wouldn't hurt to see what people thought as I gained some pretty decent insight last time. I should mention that this is Myth-Punk with dark fantasy elements.

What I'm looking for:

1. Is it easy to follow:

last time I did this I was told it was a bit hard to follow and know who was talking.

1. Is the horror believable:

I've had mixed takes on this, some saying it is, others saying the MC seems a little too calm for someone in her situation.

1. Is the premise attention grabbing:

First time asking this. I don't know if I'd call it the hook since this is the half way point of the first chapter, though I'd still like to know as this is a pretty big aspect to the overall arching plot.

1. The characters:

Thoughts on the protagonists and their relationship. I will admit, I understand if there isn't much to go off from here as the horror aspect is more center stage and I am locking more for that and clarity than anything.

Side note: Fresh cut gems is probably not the best descriptor here and I see that.