So this happened last Saturday. My dad needed a replacement part for his sink so I drove to Home Depot and grabbed whatever hoodie was nearest. It was a faded orange one from a 5K I did years ago. No apron no badge nothing. Just a hoodie that says "Fun Run 2019" on the back.

I m in the plumbing aisle comparing two parts that look identical when a woman walks up and says, Excuse me, where are your sprinkler heads?

I told her I don't work here. She looked me up and down and said, You're wearing orange.

Its a hoodie, I said. From a running thing.

She nodded like I'd just confessed to something and said "Well you can still point me to them."

Fine, whatever. I actually had walked past them on the way in so I said garden section back left past the plants. She thanked me and I went back to my pipes.

About five minutes later she was back at my elbow. I couldn't find them. Can you walk me?

I should have said no, but my dad raised me to be polite so I walked her over. They were on the bottom shelf right where I said. She wanted to know which one was best for a medium-sized yard. I told her I had no idea and she should ask someone in an actual apron. She said, But you seem to know what you're doing.

I was holding a PVC elbow joint and had been staring at it for ten minutes.

Then she asked if they had any in stock in the back. Then whether I could check the price on a different brand. At one point she asked me to carry her bag of mulch to the front. I said I really couldn't and she told me that was "pretty bad customer service.

Eventually a real employee, a guy named Marcus with an actual orange apron walked by and I flagged him down like I was drowning. I explained the situation. He looked at me looked at my hoodie looked at her and very calmly said Ma'am, this gentleman is a customer.

She said Well, he should wear something different then.

She left with her sprinkler heads. Marcus gave me a fist bump and said I'd done more work than half his team that day. I paid for my sink part and drove home.

My dad laughed so hard when I told him that he had to sit down. The hoodie is in the donation pile now

When I was shopping at a certain US based big box store that has red as their main color, I was briefly approached by a woman who asked if I worked there. I said no, I was a shopper and she apologized and moved on.

Later on, during the same trip, someone else approached me as I was absent-mindedly looking in the electronics section. I immediately thought "Oh no, did I make the classic mistake of wearing a red shirt to this store?" And quickly looked down at my shirt. No, a completely different color. Because it was the second time someone had made this mistake in less than an hour, I was confused enough to ask the person "No, what about me makes it seem like I work here?" In hindsight, it probably sounded more accusatory than I meant it. I was just genuinely curious.

The person was flustered and said something vague like "Oh, i didn't know. It was just... The way you were standing..." And quickly hurried off.

Maybe I was just giving off too much "I don't want to be here" energy that day...

This happened many, many decades ago, long before the Web was a thing... people still had to do the barbaric thing of using a paper phonebook to find phone numbers. This was also when people had one phone number for the whole house. Cellphones weren't really a thing.

One evening my mom, dad, and I were sitting at home and the phone rang. My dad answered it and the woman asked: "Is this [insert name of local grocery store]?" My dad said: "No, you have the wrong number" and quickly ended the call. In fairness to the caller, our last name was somewhat similar to the local grocery store and we lived on the same street, just a handful of blocks away, so it's not impossible to see why the caller got confused.

Not more than a minute later our phone rang again. This time mom answered and essentially had the same conversation with the same caller.

After ending the call, the phone almost immediately rang again. This time I answered it and the caller again asked: "Is this [insert name of local grocery store]?" I said: "No, sorry... you are calling a house, not a business. We're on the same street, but this is NOT the store. You have the wrong number." The caller thanked me and hung up.

Again, almost immediately the phone rang again. My dad answered this time giving the name of the grocery store. The caller responded: "Oh good! What time do you close?"

My dad answered: "10:00 o'clock." The caller thanked him and hung up. We later discovered that the stored closed at 9:00pm, and it was already 9:15 when the final call happened.

I was shopping at a grocery store when a woman asked me where the bread was.

I told her I didn't work there, but she asked me to show her anyway.

I pointed toward an employee nearby but she ignored me and said, "It's not that hard to help someone!"

I replied, "I'm trying to buy groceries just like you."

She looked at my shopping basket and finally realized I was a customer.

She quietly said, "Oh, sorry," and walked away.

The whole thing lasted less than a minute, but it was still pretty funny.

I guess buying groceries makes you look suspiciously qualified to work at a grocery store.

Last week I took my uncle to a private hospital for a checkup. I came straight from work, so I was in a white shirt with my office ID lanyard, which happens to be the exact same blue as the hospital staff ones.

I was sitting in the waiting area when a woman in a big sunglasses-on-her-head situation marched over dropped a folder in my lap and said, Finally someone useful. Process this.

I told her I was just waiting for my uncle. She didn't even blink. Don't be modest. I saw you walking around like you own the place.

Ma'am, I was looking for the water cooler.

Exactly. Management.

Then she pulled out an envelope of cash and tried to tuck it into my shirt pocket. For the faster service. My husband says that's how it works here.

I jumped up and said very loudly that I worked in software and could not accept money or process anything. She looked genuinely betrayed. Then why would you wear the badge? Do you know how much confusion that causes?

Then it got worse. Her husband showed up with a balloon bouquet and asked me where the VIP lift was. Her mother-in-law asked me to personally upgrade their room to one with a better view. A toddler tugged my sleeve and asked if I was the doctor.

I told them the reception was fifteen steps away, but the mother-in-law said, He is hiding the good rooms. Typical.

Just then my uncle walked out looked at the crowd around me and asked, Beta, did you get promoted?

The woman turned to him and said Sir your staff is very rude.

My uncle with the straightest face I have ever seen said, He is a very bad employee. I'll have him fired.

Then he walked me out while I laughed so hard I had to hold the wall. Last I saw the family was still arguing with a confused security guard about the VIP lift. The cash envelope was still in her hand.

I wore the lanyard to the car. Obviously.

I was shopping at a grocery store when a woman came up to me and asked where she could find the milk.

I told her I didn't work there, but she looked annoyed and said, "You could at least help me."

I pointed toward an employee nearby, but she ignored me and walked away.

A few minutes later, I saw her arguing with an actual employee about something in another aisle.

When I passed by, she looked at me and said"You people are useless!"

The employee looked confused and asked, "Ma'am, do you know him?"

She paused for a moment, looked at me and finally realized I was just another customer.

She didn't apologize. She simply turned around and walked away.

I finished my shopping and left, wondering how someone could be so confident and still be so wrong.

This happened last week and I m still laughing about it a little.

I go to a small gym near my place, usually in the evenings. I had just finished my workout and was standing near the water cooler filling my bottle. I was wearing a plain gray t-shirt and it turns out the staff there wear almost the same gray shirts. I never noticed until this happened.

A woman walked up to me and said Excuse me, the treadmill by the window is making a weird noise. Can you get someone to look at it?

I said Sure but I don't actually work here. She gave me a look like I was joking and said, Then why are you wearing the uniform? I told her it was just a regular shirt I bought online. She didn't look fully convinced.

She then asked, Okay but can you at least tell me what time the front desk closes? I honestly had no idea so I said I wasn't sure, and she said, Great so you don't know anything about this place.

At that point a real staff member walked by, wearing the exact same shirt. The woman looked at him then at me then at him again. I pointed at him and said, He can help you. She went over a bit embarrassed and I went back to filling my bottle.

The funny part is that when I went to the changing room I saw another guy wearing the same shirt and I honestly couldn't tell if he worked there either. I have decided to change my gym shirt color. Now I m just waiting for someone to ask me to fix the treadmill again.

Last weekend I went to see a one-bedroom apartment I was thinking of renting. The listing said viewings were from 11 to 1 so I showed up a few minutes early. The front door was already open, so I walked in and nobody was inside. I figured the agent was running late, so I stood in the living room and started checking the windows and the kitchen cabinets.

A couple walked in about five minutes later. The guy looked at me nodded like we have already met and said, Hi we're here for the 11:00 viewing. Is the rent negotiable?

I said, Oh, I m also here to see it. I'm not the agent.

He smiled politely and said, Right, right, in the tone of someone who thinks you're being coy. His wife was already opening the bedroom closet. Is the water bill included? she asked me from inside.

I said I honestly didn't know, but they didn't seem to hear. They asked about parking, how old the building was, whether the landlord allowed pets, and whether the washing machine worked. I kept saying I don't know and I m just a tenant who's looking, and they kept nodding and asking the next question. At one point the husband said, It's okay, you can tell us the real price, and I had no idea how to answer that.

Then the actual agent walked in, slightly out of breath, and said, Sorry I m late, traffic was awful. Have you all been waiting long?

The couple looked at her then at me then at her again. The wife slowly closed the closet door. The husband said, Wait, so you re not... and I said, Nope.

Nobody said anything for a few seconds. Then the husband laughed, a bit awkwardly, and said, You were very calm for someone who doesn't work here. I told him I was just as confused as he was.

The agent answered all their questions properly. The water bill is included, by the way. I applied for the apartment that evening, and I'm told the couple did too.

Went to my cousin's wedding last weekend, held at one of those big banquet halls with a garden attached. During the cocktail hour I stepped out by the side entrance to take a call from my mom, who was running late and couldn't find parking.

I m still on the phone when a woman in her 50s walks straight up to me, waits maybe two seconds, and says Excuse me, the cake table is in the wrong spot. It's supposed to be by the window.

I covered the phone and said, Oh I m just a guest, sorry.

She looked at me the way you'd look at someone who just told you the sky was green. Yes, but you're with the venue, right? You have the walkie-talkie energy.

I don't know what that means. I had no walkie-talkie. I was holding a phone and a half-eaten mini quiche.

I told her again that I was the bride's cousin and had no idea where the cake was supposed to go. She nodded like she understood, then said Perfect, so you can move it.

Here was where I made my mistake. I was trying to be helpful, so I said, "I can find someone who works here for you." She said, That's what I just asked you to do. I honestly couldn't tell if she was joking.

So I walked back inside with her following me, and spotted the actual coordinator, who really did have a walkie-talkie and a very tired expression. I pointed and said, That's her. Please talk to her, not me.

The woman marched over and started explaining the cake situation. The coordinator listened patiently and said, Ma'am, the cake placement was approved by the bride and groom this morning. The woman said, Well, I m the groom's aunt. The coordinator said, I understand, and I will note your concern.

Then the aunt turned, pointed at me across the room, and said, Why didn't he just tell me that?

My cousin, who had seen the whole thing from the head table, almost choked on her drink laughing. For the rest of the night, whenever someone needed anything, a chair, a napkin, directions to the bathroom, my cousins would shout ...Ask him, he works here!

The cake stayed where it was. It was delicious. And I have now officially been mistaken for staff at an event where I was literally family...

I went to Dollarama on my way home from work. I’m in the trades, so I was wearing dirty/dusty pants and work boots.

I hear from the end of the aisle

“Excuse me”

I look over at this fella and he asks

“Do you work here?”

I reply “No” in a confused tone.

I’m thinking to myself, “how or why could that guy possibly think I work here?” A few minutes later I realize I’m wearing one of the t-shirts I got at the thrift store (cheap shirts I will wreck at work) and it’s for a summer camp with a huge “STAFF” on the back.

🤦‍♂️

This happened just 3 days ago, when I was visiting my final port of call on a cruise. I was outside the shop, sifting through souvenirs that were on clearance. I saw a man casually walk outside and just stand there and after some time had passed, I asked him if debit cards are accepted. At first, he simply said no, so I was getting ready to say something else, but then he said he was just waiting for his wife.

I wasn't super embarrassed, but I immediately apologized. I thought he was simply coming out to check on customers outside. What made me think he was an employee was an ID of some sort hanging around his neck, but it was backwards so I couldn't actually see what it looked like or what it said. When I did see the employee, she was dressed extremely casually (which, of course, is usually expected at a souvenir shop), so it would have been really easy to mistake someone for an employee, depending on what they were doing.

I was shopping at a grocery store wearing a hoodie and jeans when a lady came up to me and asked where she could find something.

I told her, “Sorry, I don’t work here.”

She looked annoyed and said, “Then why are you standing here?”

I ignored it and continued shopping.

A few minutes later, she asked me for help again. When I told her I wasn't an employee, she got angry and walked away.

The funny thing was that a real employee walked past her, but she didn't ask them anything.

Some people really can't accept that not everyone in a store works there!

This happened last Saturday. I was at a big bookstore that has a small coffee shop inside. I was waiting for my friend. It was raining outside so I was wearing my own dark green apron-style rain jacket and my tote bag was full of books.

A lady came up with her empty cup and said, Excuse me, can I get a refill? And extra foam this time. I said, "I'm so sorry, I don't work here. I m just waiting for someone. She smiled and said, Oh come on, you are literally wearing the apron and standing right next to the coffee machine. You must be new.

I laughed a little and showed her my hands full of books and said, "I wish I knew how to make that, but I really don't work here. The real barista is right behind the counter, she can help you.

She looked a little embarrassed, then laughed too and said, Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I really thought you worked here. Then she went to the counter. The actual barista looked at me and we both smiled.

It was a cute awkward moment, not rude at all.

At the start of aisle 4 in the grocery store, a lady asked me if I worked there. I said no, and moved on. I went up the aisle and came down aisle 5. I get to the end and the same lady asks me if I work there. I can’t imagine too many employees wear regular clothes and push a cart while walking with their wives, but what do I know?

I was at a hardware store with my neighbor looking at faucets when a woman asked me where the furnace filters were.

I pointed toward the back and told her I wasnt sure exactly where they were.

A few minutes later she came back holding a filter and asked if it was the right size.

I told her I honestly didnt know and suggested she ask an employee.

She looked at me and asked, You dont work here?

I said no.

She apologized and walked away.

About ten minutes later she came back and asked me another question about the filters.

I reminded her that I didnt work there.

She laughed and said, Right, I keep forgetting.

Then, as we were leaving, she stopped me one more time and asked if the store did installations.

I told her I had absolutely no idea.

My neighbor started laughing and said, At this point, they should at least give you a name badge.

The funny thing is I was wearing a gray sweatshirt and jeans. The actual employees were all wearing bright red shirts.

Apparently I just looked like I knew where everything was.

This happened last Saturday and I'm still laughing about it.

I was at a big hardware store picking up a few things for a fence repair. I was wearing a plain orange t-shirt (not a store apron, not a vest, just an orange shirt I've owned for years and never thought twice about). I had my phone in one hand and a box of screws in the other.

I'd barely walked into the lumber aisle when a guy in his fifties marched up to me.

"Excuse me, where do you keep the 2x4s?"

I told him I didn't work there, but that I'd seen lumber at the back of the store near the big doors. He nodded, said "Right, thanks," and walked off. Fine. Normal. Happens to everyone.

Ten minutes later, in the paint aisle, a woman stopped me. "Hi, do you have this in a quarter-gallon?" She held up a can of paint.

"I'm so sorry, I don't work here," I said.

She looked me up and down, looked at my shirt, and said, very calmly, "Then why are you dressed like that?"

I honestly didn't have an answer. I said, "It's just a shirt," and she said "Mm-hmm" like I'd been caught in a lie.

I assumed that was the end of it. It was not.

By the time I got to the checkout area, I'd been asked about drill bits, where the bathrooms were, and whether the store price-matches. I'd answered the bathroom question, because I'd actually seen the sign.

Then came the finale. A man pushed his flatbed cart right up to me, let go of the handle, and said, "Can you take this to the front? I'm done with it."

I stood there holding my box of screws, completely stunned. "Sir, I really don't work here."

He squinted at me. "Are you sure?"

I almost said "Pretty sure." What I actually said was, "I'm in line to pay for these screws."

He looked at the screws, looked at me, and said, "Huh. Weird." Then he took his cart back and wandered off.

The cashier had watched the whole thing. When I got to the register, she smiled and said, "You know, we could use someone like you. You're doing better than half my team."

I laughed, paid for my screws, and left. I wore a gray shirt the next time I went in, and nobody asked me anything. I almost miss it.

For context, I’m from Brazil and most schools here have an official uniform you must wear. My school’s t-shirt was white and had the name of the school stamped on the front and back of the shirt.

I was around fifteen, shopping at a grocery store (where the employees’ uniform is orange) with my mom across from my school. I was checking something out alone in one aisle when one woman approaches me and immediately asks something about a product. I told her that I didn’t know, a bit awkward because I was an extremely introvertes teen and there was a strange lady talking to me. The lady huffs and asks if I don’t work there. I answer that no, I don’t. And with all this information this crazy woman looked at me and said “well, you are wearing an uniform, I thought you worked here”. I guess I just told her no again and she stared at me extremely pissed before walking off. Very strange interaction with someone who seems to assume that if you wear an uniform, any kind, you work there.

My "uniform" of choice used to be jeans and flannel shirt, and red was my favorite. I wore red flannel to Target twice and both times I got approached by people while I was shopping because red = employee, apparently.

One guy walked by while I was browsing stationary, stopped and said "Do you work here?"

I said, "No, sorry."

He went "Oh." Then stood there with a nasty look on his face, looking me up and down. I really thought he was about to accuse me of lying! Thankfully he didn't give me a longer story to post here. Anyway, don't wear red to Target.

I was out for my daily walk today, dressed in workout pants, a tank top and sneakers wearing sunglasses, large headphones and a visor, briskly walking through a local beach park. This beach has 5 benches set up looking towards the water. All were empty.

As I walked past the second bench (briskly! I was exercising!), a woman standing near the bench motioned in a way that looked like she was trying to get someone's attention. I didn't think she was trying to get my attention because Why? But there was nobody else around so I thought maybe. Then she motioned for me to take off my headphones. So I did, slowing down slightly.

"Is this bench taken?"

I said "I don't know!" put my headphones back on and kept walking briskly down the path!

First of all, I did not look like a park employee! I was clearly a random person out for a walk.

Second, there were 4 other benches that were empty and no other people nearby. Even if someone had been using that bench, they could have easily moved to one of the other benches.

And third and most importantly, THAT'S NOT HOW BENCHES WORK! If the bench is empty, it's available! You don't need to ask anyone, particularly not a random woman walking by in workout gear with giant headphones on!

I used to GM at an Italian restaurant and the managers wore blue polo shirts and tan khakis. I would go to the walmart nearby for groceries and people would always ask me things thinking I worked there. One woman was insistent that I worked there even after I told her multiple times I didn’t and finally told her in a very angry tone to leave me alone. She went to the front and got the store GM, and as I was checking out she was loudly and angrily telling him how rude I was to her and demanding that I be fired. He looked at me, I went 🤷‍♂️, he laughed out loud and said loud enough for me to hear ‘He doesn’t work here ma’am’. The look on her face as I walked by and said ‘hi’ to the GM was priceless.

I was at a hardware store looking for a replacement cabinet hinge. I was wearing jeans, a gray hoodie, and a baseball cap. Nothing from the store.

A guy walked up and asked where the cabinet hinges were.

I told him I didn't know because I didn't work there.

He looked at the broken hinge in my basket and said, But you obviously know what you're looking for.

I explained that I was actually trying to figure that out myself.

He walked away, then came back a few minutes later with his friend and a cabinet door.

He pointed at me and said, This is the guy I was talking about.

I told them again that I didn't work there.

His friend apologized, but the first guy asked if I could at least tell him which hinge would fit.

Before I could answer, an actual employee walked over.

The customer immediately complained that I had refused to help him.

The employee looked at me, then at the customer, and said, He doesn't work here.

The guy just stood there for a second.

Then he turned around, looked directly at the shelf behind me, and realized the hinges had been sitting there the entire time.

He grabbed one and left without saying anything.

The employee looked at me and said, You did a pretty convincing job of looking like you work here.

I told him I was just confused about cabinet hinges.

Apparently, that was enough to get mistaken for staff.

I went to a hardware store last Saturday because I needed one specific size of screw.

That was it. No complicated shopping trip. No work uniform. No employee badge. Just me in jeans, a gray hoodie, and sneakers, trying to find a box of screws.

I had been standing in the hardware aisle for about ten minutes when I saw an employee pushing a cart toward me. A box had fallen off one of the shelves, so I picked it up and put it back.

That apparently made me an employee.

About thirty seconds later, an older woman came around the corner carrying a faucet box.

She looked directly at me and asked where the bathroom fixtures were.

I told her I did not work there, but I had seen the plumbing signs a couple aisles over.

She stared at me for a second and said, You people always say that when you do not want to help someone.

I honestly thought she was joking.

She was completely serious.

She handed me the faucet box and asked if I could check whether it came in brushed nickel.

I reminded her that I was a customer.

She sighed and said she only needed me to scan it.

At that exact moment, an actual employee walked past us.

I pointed at him and said, That guy actually works here.

The employee stopped and looked between us like he had walked into the middle of an argument he did not understand.

The woman looked at him, then back at me.

He does not look like management.

The employee actually laughed.

I explained that I was just shopping for screws and had absolutely nothing to do with the store.

She finally apologized and walked away.

I thought that was the end of it.

It was not.

A few minutes later, I was walking toward the registers with my screws when I heard someone behind me.

Sir, I need help with something heavy.

I turned around.

Same woman.

I just started laughing because at that point I genuinely had no idea what else to say.

I told her, Maam, I still do not work here.

She looked at the basket in my hand.

You are carrying a basket.

I looked down.

Three packages of screws, electrical tape, and a bottle of water.

I told her those were my things.

She said, Well, you certainly look like you know what you are doing.

Before I could answer, the same employee from the plumbing aisle walked over.

He looked at her.

Then at me.

Then at my basket.

He finally said, Maam, I promise you, this man does not work here.

She looked genuinely disappointed.

Then she said, Well, he certainly has the attitude of someone who does.

I paid for my screws and left.

As I was walking across the parking lot, I saw the employee outside on his break.

He pointed at me and yelled, Have a good day, boss.

At this point I am just wondering how many more trips to that store I can make before someone asks me to clock in.

I was browsing in a store when someone came up to me and asked where they could find a particular item. I told them I wasn't an employee but they seemed convinced I worked there. It took a moment to clear up the confusion. I was just another customer doing my shopping.