Have had HPPD and DPDR for about 2 years now, not sure type one or two it feels consistent like type 2 and the dpdr is consistent but I don't "hallucinate" like you guys talk about, I do have VSS and tinnitus but everything has gotten honestly better with time since this happened in October 2024. I was on hydroxyzine for 6 months, then Lexapro for 6 months, then just vitamins, and then nothing this year had been really good for me, I got my first car, I got my driver's license, I still had VSS and tinnitus but I was able to ground myself and was doing really good.

On the 1st of this month, I caught the rhinovirus, or like an advanced cold. I was insanely sick for like a week, still dealing with some congestion, but I guess I haven't gotten sick in like 2 years, I had a fever of 104 for a day at least and my heart rate was resting at like 140. It hospitalized me twice, and I feel like my hppd and dpdr are genuinely back to square one, I had to check myself into a mental health clinic for a week and feel like I'm kind of losing my mind honestly.

I'm set up with a counselor starting early next month, and have started taking clonidine 1 mg as of 5 days ago, which has helped, but I was going through like an immense episode of dpdr for like 5 hours today and I'm only now just coming back to Earth. They gave me the clonidine and said it was as needed but I should take it every day during crisis at night time before bed, it's been like a week and I haven't been able to see my counselor yet obviously and when I look online it says I shouldn't stop taking the clonidine now because I've been taking it consistently and can withdraw. I'm hoping to talk to my counselor about lamotrigine when I see her early in November. But this month has been absolutely insane for me and my ass has been kicked. Sometimes I get so nervous I think I'm going to need help or to be put into psych, I'm not a lazy person but have been debating temporary disability as well, but being trapped at home is probably the worst.

I guess I just want to ask if other people have had this experience with extreme sicknesses, how long it took you to get back to your base, and for people's experiences with clonidine and lamotrigine. I've also felt extremely overstimulated and I try not to play on my phone that much but I get bored and I have ADHD as well, colors have been extremely vivid. So usually I don't hallucinate stuff, but I kind of feel like this counts, don't know. But colors are extremely vivid. I can usually play video games at home but I feel like I can't even play them and I haven't for like 3 weeks they are just way too intense.

I've also been entirely sober these two years. Honestly I see that some of you use still and I just can't wrap my head around how, not to talk down whatsoever, I just feel like I could go absolutely insane if I were to smoke weed or drink again, I've had like a few sips of alcohol or like one single beer at most and I hate the way it makes me feel now, so I've been entirely sober for 2 years.

Hey i really need your view on Lions mane because theres like 30k on “lionsmanesyndrom” sub and everyone is saying like its the worst thing it can ruin your brain that it would give you sense to kill your family and shit crzay stories like that and on other hand i saw like pretty good reviews and couldnt really find anything on intenret about lionmanesyndrom or anything that wrong
But i didnt do a deep research so if anybody has info, please tell

I did it for like 3-4 days, I felt better and i wa remembering more then stopped since all these guys on reddit

The tinnitus and sound sensitivity is killing me, i cant stand this anymore. I might off my self, please tell me there is any hope of treatment for this stuff

It takes every single ounce of willpower I have not to use psychedelics again. I feel such disgust admitting it, but I definitely have addictive tendencies. I’d only been using psychedelics for six weeks, and in that time, I managed to go through 5 tabs and 4 2C-B pills, all on separate occasions.

Even after going through this god-awful disorder, I can’t stop using drugs. I’ve been using weed heavily every day for around 3 weeks now. I take drugs in the middle of the school day or I drink. I literally can’t stay sober. All I think about is drugs, even ones I haven’t tried yet. MDMA and ket are on my mind 24/7. I just need the relief, a relief that weed and drinking don’t give me.

I feel like I’m getting so close to the point where I give up and start taking shit that will almost definitely make my HPPD worse, and it makes me feel so stupidly shitty.

What feels worse is that I don’t want help. For context, I’m messed up mentally, I have an ed, I sh, and I have really random, significant waves of heavy depression where I lose any and all will to live. Every day feels like I’m walking through a swamp with a dozen alligators gnawing at my feet, dragging me down.

But I don’t want help. It makes me feel so alienated from myself. The idea of being judged by doctors and my parents for all this stuff I’ve kept secret for so many years makes me feel so pathetic, so feeble.
Even writing this, I have no clue what I want to gain from it. Pity? Empathy? Help?

This needs to improve or I don’t know how I can keep going. I couldn’t even work rn if I wanted to. I have the most intense head pressure / tightness / tingling electrical sensations all throughout the day. In DPDR. Tension headaches. My life was pretty normal despite minor visuals and depression 6 days ago. I’m in more of a hell than I was on first onset. I don’t really have any emotional support, i’m neurodivergent. It’s been a painful last 6 days and I really wish god would take me out of my misery one way or another. And If i do recover idk how i won’t have ever lasting trauma from this and medication. Recreational drugs did it to me the first time and pharmaceutical drugs did it to me the second time. I’m sick.

EDIT: thank you guys for your responses and insight. It’s very appreciated right now.

I need to understand this disorder a bit more. My student has just been diagnosed with HPPD after dropping some mushrooms. She's in her first year of doing the International Baccalaureate which is incredibly stressful. I'm due to meet her for the first time on Monday.

Firstly my concern before all of that is should she even be doing the IB? It's an intense course. Do you guys think it would be better to wait a year?

Secondly do you have any advice? What helps? How can I be helpful?

I'm not all judgy about it, I took mushrooms myself at her age with thankfully no ill effects.

Restarted citalopram that I was on at first onset of HPPD in 2021 and now i’m in a hell again. I don’t care about the visuals, it’s the head sensations / pressure / overstimulation, panic, anxiety, DPDR. I quit my job due to depression and then I took an SSRI and it got worse. I wish I could go back to my regular depression. Only thing holding me down is clonidine right now. Might try Lamictal. Im pretty devastated right now, its hard to see hope but im staying hopeful that things have gotten better before and they can again.

Anyone else dealt with sensitivity to stimuli? Im already AUDHD so this is just 😅

Hey everyone,

I am 17 years old, turning 18 soon. My life is completely ruined by VSS, HPPD, and DPDR. if you happen to read this and think "what does this have to do with migraines" vss and hppd are like the biggest causers of migraines, I cant even be in my own room or glance at a light for a second without a horrible headache so by helping with this you're helping yourself possibly.

Every waking second of my life is hell and spiritual suffering that nobody else can see. My brain is flooded with heavy visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and extreme sound sensitivity. My filter for background noise is turned ALL the way off. I am doing horrible in school, I cry every single day, and I can barely go outside anymore. I wanted to work at NASA, but now I feel like my life is over before it even began.

I am sick of sitting around waiting years for a machine (rTMS) that is already built and deployed in clinics right now. The research out of the University of Colorado Anschutz shows it works to calm the cortical hyperexcitability. The only thing holding us back is a timeline and how fast they're moving.

If we flood their inboxes with our stories and remind them that our combined subreddits have over 100,000 subscribers ready to hand them money, they will have to look at the financial demand.

Please take a couple minutes to copy the emails down so that we can make the change sooner. it would save my life and many others.

first is the FDA

Send To: [AskOICE@fda.hhs.gov](mailto:AskOICE@fda.hhs.gov)

CC: [CDRH_PatientEngagement@fda.hhs.gov](mailto:CDRH_PatientEngagement@fda.hhs.gov)

Subject: URGENT PATIENT APPEAL: Fast Track rTMS for VSS and HPPD

this is the letter to copy

To the FDA Office of Industry and Consumer Education,

My name is [Name], I am [Age] years old, and I am contacting you to beg with all of my soul for immediate regulatory intervention and more urgency regarding a health crisis affecting millions of people worldwide.

I live with Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) and Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS). These are devastating, non stop neurological filtering disorders. Every waking second of my life is hell. My brain is flooded with intense visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and horrible sound sensitivity. My brain has entirely lost its ability to filter background noise, turning every single day into a waking nightmare. It completely takes away our quality of life and affects sanity, friendships, and life itself.

I need to make it clear that HPPD usually comes with a condition called DPDR (Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder), which completely disconnects you from your body and the world around you. This is detrimental to our lives. I read an article that said 72 percent of people with dissociative disorders attempt suicide because it completely takes away your quality of life. We are losing our lives and sanity.

New data from the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus proves that targeting cortical hyperexcitability via repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS) is a safe and viable way to stabilize and maybe even cure VSS and HPPD. Because rTMS machines are already widespread and deployed in clinics for depression, the machines already exist. We are just being held back by a timeline.

I am desperately urging the FDA to aggressively utilize its breakthrough devices program to fast track status for rTMS clinical protocols for VSS and HPPD. There is a massive online patient network, including over 100,000 combined subscribers across the r/HPPD and r/visualsnow subreddits, full of consumers whose lives are completely on hold, ruined, or in some cases ended. We cannot wait until 2032 or longer for a machine to be upgraded that we already have widespread. Please help to save our sanity.

Sincerely,

[Name]

the other targets are BRAINSWAY & MAGVENTURE

Send To: DeepTMS@brainsway.com, info@brainsway.com

CC: [info@magventure.com](mailto:info@magventure.com)

Subject: Unmet Market Demand: Fast Track rTMS Protocols for VSS and HPPD

Letter to Copy:

Dear Clinical Research and Business Development Team,

My name is [Name]. I am [Age] years old, and I am writing to bring to your attention a massive entirely untreated or even glanced at condition that represents a great financial investment for your company.

I live with HPPD and Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS). These are devastating, non stop neurological filtering disorders. Every waking second of my life is hell. My brain is flooded with heavy visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and extreme sound sensitivity. My filter for background noise is turned ALL the way off. I can barely focus past the background noise and blaring headaches. HPPD also comes with DPDR (Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder), which completely disconnects you from your body and the world, ruining personalities, friendships, and sanity. I read an article that noted 72 percent of people with dissociative disorders attempt suicide due to this severe lack of quality of life.

New data from the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus has proven that targeting cortical hyperexcitability via rTMS is a safe and viable way to stabilize and maybe even cure VSS and HPPD. As the device manufacturer, you are sitting on the solution. The machine is already built and deployed; what we are missing are the protocol settings to target the visual cortex and temporoparietal targets.

To give you an idea of the immediate market, this is fantastic for you financially. On Reddit alone, the r/visualsnow and r/hppd communities have over 100,000 combined subscribers begging for a fix. This would be incredible for you financially. By aggressively backing trials or fast tracking a protocol update for VSS/HPPD, you can position yourselves as the undisputed global leader and first to market provider for a massive, desperate, suffering population. You would be heroes to thousands. You already have this hardware manufactured, so please consider fast tracking to get them to save more people.

Sincerely,

[Name]

Hi guys what do you prefer taking medication to reduce the burden of hppd, or staying natural without any medication? Personally, I prefer going without medication as it causes anhedonia

I just wanted to make one of these posts because it made 15 year old me feel a lot better when I read them 4 years ago.

I can finally say that some of my symptoms are getting better and some are almost fully gone. I still have a little noticeable visual snow, after images, and rarely some auditory hallucinations (only when going to sleep) but I don't quite find myself getting as anxious or paranoid as I used to. I haven't taken any meds for it or did therapy or anything like that (not saying you shouldn't, it's great). It really flipped my life upside down and I probably wouldn't recognize myself before I got it.
Unfortunately, I got it during my 2nd smoking weed, so I'm kinda bummed out I won't be able to experience that and basically every other drug, but sometimes I see it as a good thing lmao. (Alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine I'm okay with though).

HPPD sucks ass and I know it's so hard but keep pushing, it can truly get better. Try to find something healthy you can do to take your mind off it, which really helped for me. Also try not to look it up or be on here too often. Ignoring it and trying to stay away from physical things or situations that reminds you of it can help a lot.
Take what I say with a grain of salt, I understand it is different for everyone.

I do have one question though:
Does anyone else feel like they don't enjoy life as much after getting it? I'm not speaking in a depressed way, just like the highs aren't as high anymore. Maybe it's some stress in life, but I feel like I don't get as happy or excited about things that I used to. Or maybe it's nostalgia, idk.

Had HPPD for 4 years. hopped on lamotrigine 2 years ago. absolute life changer. removes visuals by 70% and makes it to where i barely notice them anymore. in those two years i was still doing drugs which would cause a flare up. but if i took my lamotrigine they’d go back to baseline. lamotrigine is a mood stabilizer but it has had ZERO affect to my personality. I am still me thru and thru but without these hallucinations in my face 24.7

Hey all, I’ve had hppd for about 5-6 months now and for a bit it psyched me out(get it?) I would constantly get in my own head about the visual snow and when it would end but recently I’ve been noticing the visual snow and the floaters and the little bits of light zipping around my vision to be less than it had been at the start. This has been so relieving and I’m just so thankful it’s going away. It’s noticeably gone away after I’ve dranken so maybe that helped.

Hi all,

Back story: I developed mild / moderate(?) HPPD in 2021 (snow, after images, increased brightness, DPDR, panic, anxiety after a bad MDMA / THC trip. It took me a few months to recover mentally- I was on clonidine, hydroxyzine, then zyprexa and then celexa. Mentally I recovered while on Celexa and my HPPD visuals didn’t cause me any distress for some years. (my visuals did worsen at first but eventually decreased with time).

Well jump to March 2026: I have some traumatic events / changes in my life and decide it’s the right to to completely discontinue my Celexa (SSRI), I had been weening off veryyy slowly for over a year and was only on like 1mg. Have experienced increasing depression and anxiety since March, also get diagnosed with ADHD so I try straterra and welbutrin, had to discontinue welbutrin due to increased insomnia, anxiety, adrenaline like head sensations. After 6 days off Welbutrin I decided to restart Celexa 10mg as I’ve responded well in the past. Symptoms started with zombie brain fog but then I started getting panic attack feelings and adrenaline, I then get some DPDR where I can’t process anything and everything hurts my brain and i’m sweating. I took a benzo and the next day heart racing, sweating, DPDR. It’s been four days now and i’m still feeling absolutely ill. I took hydroxyzine which actually increased my visuals and they’re been increased since, the citalopram might have as well? I don’t mind the visuals as much as this detached, panic, anxiety, overstimulation feelings and sensations.

Why did I react this way? is it because Welbutrin was still leaving my system and I started at too high of a dose. Is cuz my serotonin and dopamine are out of wack now. Do I need to detox? Clonidine is currently what i’m taking to manage my surviving every day but it doesn’t go without side effects - dizziness, tinnitus. I feel like i’m back at square one and playing russian roulette again with meds since of course the ones that helped in the past no longer do. But also I feel like fuck it if meds might work again why not try.

My psych says she’s had HPPD patients whose HPPD symptoms have been treated by Abilify and it treats major depressive disorder, etc. so she wants to start me on 2mg and then if i tolerate up to 5mg. I’m scared shitless to say the least. I’m wondering if I should try Zyprexa which i’ve already tried in the past but the only thing i remember is blurred vision. Try a diff SSRI like lexapro? Try lamotrigine with clonidine and let my brain get back itself? someone on here recommended abilify and a diff SSRI bc it helped them. I don’t know but I really fuckin regret getting back on citalopram rn and at the dose I did. I wish i’d just tried exercise, and therapy and a hobby. But I was trying to treat my ADHD originally.😭 ugh.

I've had HPPD ever since 2016/17 after taking copious amounts of LSD and nbome and continuing to dose up until 2024. It's exam time, and my partner and I aren't really talking at the moment. The symptoms are crazy especially in over stimulating environments, i.e., classrooms with lights on or dimly lit rooms. I feel like I'm living life behind my eyes and probably suffering from some dp/dr. I don't know why I'm posting here. I just feel so alone. Thank you for reading.

In short: Is it dangerous to hit a THC vape (e.g. THP420) after 180 days of HPPD, especially when my symptoms have improved quite a bit over the last two days? I’m having insane cravings.
Hey everyone, I have a question. Some of you might remember me. I’m 18, and about six months ago I took 200 micrograms of a psychedelic. I panicked during an ego death experience and eventually came down from it. On the third day, I got drunk, and on the fourth day, I smoked about half of a strong THC joint. Since then, I’ve been dealing with derealization, depersonalization, HPPD symptoms (around 80% of what I experienced at their worst), brain fog, and text-like visual hallucinations for about 175 days.
Before all this happened, I had been using weed carts (THC vapes) for four months, and honestly, those were the four best months of my life. I’ve been craving weed for the entire six months because HPPD makes me feel half high and half sober, which is one of the worst feelings imaginable.
Over the last two days, I’ve started feeling a little better, possibly after trying supplements like taurine and glycine. On the other hand, I’m getting fed up with all these supplements. They sometimes make me feel so emotionally blunted and sedated that I almost feel like I’m taking antipsychotics.
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely nostalgic about those four months when I was smoking weed. I’m really struggling right now, and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can keep living like this. I have severe anhedonia, and it’s taking a huge toll on my mental health. I’m currently attending driving school, and I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Part of me feels like smoking again might help me relax and feel better, even if only temporarily. I don’t know. What do you guys think? Would using a THC vape again after 180 days of HPPD be a really bad idea?

Also sorry i used google translate im not native

Hello everyone,

I really needed to ask this question and get it off my chest at the same time. Before I mention any of this, please come at it by understanding I've made mistakes and I'm a broken person. I need to know if 2 or 3 uses of shrooms and one use of lsd (all in medium or low doses after developing hppd) have done any permanent damage. (As well as weed a dozen times). I have no real way of knowing and I just want some relief. For reference I got hppd a year ago and at first it was some faint visual static and also a bit of visual trails. Now it's pretty much the same, the visual trails are a bit worse because I used the lsd pretty recently. I also have a bit of tinnitus from my most recent trip but thats not whats concerning me that much. Please lmk what's possible, likely and unlikely. I'm severely depressed. I just want to know if there's any hope. Thanks

I'm interested in hearing from people with HPPD who have taken SSRIs (Zoloft/sertraline, Prozac/fluoxetine, Lexapro/escitalopram, etc.).

1. What effect did SSRIs have on your HPPD symptoms?

• Improved my HPPD
• No noticeable change
• Temporarily worsened my HPPD
• Worsened my HPPD for as long as I took them
• Worsening persisted even after stopping

2. If your HPPD worsened, what happened after you discontinued the SSRI?

• Returned to my previous baseline
• Improved gradually, but took weeks or months
• Improved somewhat, but never fully returned to baseline
• No noticeable improvement after stopping

3. If you stopped taking it, how long ago did you stop, and how long did it take for your symptoms to change?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who experienced worsening and then discontinued the medication, including whether their symptoms eventually returned to their pre-SSRI baseline.

Thanks!

long story short. I developed HPPD after a very traumatic MDMA THC trip in 2021 and I even went into psychosis for a short while. Was on an antipsychotic shortly, benzos, and then eventually an SSRI (Citalopram). The time of starting the SSRI i was already in a complete state of derealization and constant panic / fear. I eventually evened out and the citlaopram ended up being very therapeutic. My HPPD has always been mild snow, after images / tracers, pattern distortions, brain fog. I finally got off of my Citalopram March of this year after doing a VERY long slow taper off. Bad idea, for the next 6 months i’ve had increasing anxiety and depression to the point of suicidal ideation. I am also AUDHD. I tried wellbutrin which sent me over with anxiety and decided to restart my citlaopram. Idk if i started too high of a dose (10mg) but extreme panic, out of body anxiety and derealization, nausea, adrenaline type sensations surging through my head, etc. I wasn’t expecting this reaction as I’ve been on it before. I’m thinkin maybe I need to manage my anxiety and depression through other resorts that are not from too activating of meds. How do you guys manage? Idk what my next steps are.

Hi everyone! Ive had pretty bad hppd for years now, but yesterday I had 0.5mg of alprazolam (for OCD), and as soon as it hit my vision went completely back to normal. I don't plan to take it again, but I'm just wondering A: why this happens, and B: has anyone else experienced this?

Hey y’all,

For years I have been unable to take trazodone without a myriad of symptoms ranging from burning feeling on my skin to electric shocks through my limbs and flashes of light when I close my eyes. Even as low as 5mg. I’ve tried many times over the years, most recently a few months ago.

After receiving treatment for two pathogens, Bartonella and Babesia, I can now take it again for sleep. No side effects or issues. I put two and two together because I had just tried trazodone again before the treatment with the same issues arising from it.

I bring this to the attention to the community because it is very easy to assume you are only dealing with one problem and assign blame to that. I always thought this was an hppd problem. Turns out, nasty buggers were to blame. I picked them up from ticks living in… well nowadays it’s all over.

The following was written/edited by AI.

A new case report came out this year that I think this community should see.

A 27-year-old woman took psilocybin once at 23 and had panic attacks and derealisation that faded in two weeks. Two years later, after a stressful period, it came back severely and became chronic. Her symptoms:

• Visual floaters
• Grid lines in her visual field
• Seeing the world “through a dark filter”
• Boosted colour intensity
• Hyper-focus on tiny details (every leaf on a tree, every item on a shelf, individual scaffolding tubes)
• Attention and concentration problems

Eye exams found nothing, and she had no psychosis. Meds (duloxetine, olanzapine) and weekly CBT only helped a little.

What they did: 1 Hz rTMS over the right temporo-parietal junction (rTPJ), 15 sessions over 3 weeks, with no side effects reported.

What happened:

• The floaters and grid lines stopped completely.
• Overall dissociation score (Cambridge Depersonalization Scale) improved about 44%.
• Emotional numbing duration dropped about 68%.
• Forgetfulness and cognitive symptoms improved by more than 54%.
• She kept improving all the way to session 15, then had to stop because of cost. The authors think more sessions could have helped more.

What didn’t budge: colour intensity, the detail hyper-focus, and depression scores. The authors suggest the intraparietal sulcus (IPS) could be a better target for the detail/salience stuff.

The rationale is that the rTPJ handles multisensory integration and seems to be overactive in dissociative disorders, so 1 Hz stimulation may calm it down.

Why I’m posting it: She was diagnosed with depersonalisation-derealisation disorder, not HPPD or VSS. But the trigger and the visual symptom profile overlap heavily with what many of us deal with, and there’s already a separate case report of rTPJ rTMS for diagnosed HPPD (Creton et al., Brain Stimulation, 2024). Two case reports aren’t proof, but they point at a target worth investigating.

Kumar & Malhotra, Global Psychiatry Archives, 2026;9(1):28-32, open access, DOI: 10.52095/gpa.2026.7625.1117

https://globalpsychiatryarchives.com/index.php/gpa/article/view/124

Has anyone tried rTMS, especially over the TPJ or IPS? Would love to hear experiences, and if anyone knows a clinic or researcher doing this for HPPD/VSS, please share.

Hey everyone, I’ve had HPPD for around 8 years now after a bad LSD trip when I was 16. Over the years, most of my symptoms have either improved significantly or I’ve just learned to live with them. However, there’s one particular symptom that has never improved, and honestly, it’s probably the scariest thing I still experience.

I get these really strange episodes of what I can only describe as extreme, constant déjà vu. Except instead of that normal déjà vu feeling that lasts a few seconds, mine can go on for literally 10–20 minutes, sometimes feeling like it’s never going to end.

It’s incredibly difficult to explain, but during these episodes, everything happening around me feels strangely familiar, almost like I’ve already experienced every single moment before. It’s not just one specific thing triggering déjà vu either. It’s like I’m stuck in this continuous loop of familiarity where everything I see, hear or do feels like it’s already happened.

When it happens, I find it extremely difficult to concentrate or function normally. I’ve had episodes while working, and I basically just have to push through them until they eventually stop. It’s such an unsettling feeling that it genuinely makes me feel like I’m going insane in the moment.

The weirdest part is that I’ve been experiencing this for pretty much the entire 8 years I’ve had HPPD, and unlike my visual symptoms and derealisation, which have improved massively, these episodes haven’t improved at all.

They usually happen a couple of times a month, sometimes less, and I can’t really identify any specific triggers. They just seem to come out of nowhere.

I’ve always wondered whether this is actually related to HPPD, derealisation, or something completely different. I rarely see anyone talking about this particular symptom, which makes it even more unsettling.

Does anyone else with HPPD experience anything remotely similar? Especially déjà vu that lasts for extended periods rather than just a few seconds?

I’d genuinely love to hear if anyone else experiences this because after 8 years, I still have absolutely no idea what causes it or why it happens.

Wanted to share this just as it’s been a big change in perspective for me and might be of interest to people. I’ve had HPPD for five years. My main remaining symptom is pretty intense visual snow, mainly manifesting as flashing all over the sky and all bright surfaces. I’m 100% sober for years and don’t even drink caffeine (in part because I’ve never loved caffeine).

I have severe ADHD, and used to be on Wellbutrin for it, which worked for about a decade, until it didn’t. I switched to Lamictal, which has been great for my depression, but my ADHD is now unmedicated. I was very averse to any sort of stimulant, especially knowing it would flare up my HPPD. I tried implementing other ways to regulate my focus and reward system, but I could never hit my stride. I’ve gotten so little done the past year, even small stuff like sending an email to a doctor takes weeks to get around to.

So I finally decided to try stimulants. I got on Focalin 5mg XR, which is an extremely low dose. And boom, it’s been a complete game changer. I’m so much more awake, productive, and overall happier. However, it’s also been making my symptoms worse, as expected. At night the starbursts on lights are much more intense, the flashing in the sky is worse.It’s been a month on it now and it seems like maybe it’ll level out, but who knows. My sleep has been a wreck for years too which is a huge contributor, so I’m thinking maybe as I improve that it’ll hopefully compensate. But at the same time, I’m finally taking care of myself and making real progress in my career again. I feel like a functioning person every day. So for now, I’m rolling with the punches. Me a couple years ago would never do something like this. But I’m finding I’d rather live in more static than drag my feet through a somewhat cleaner view.