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My 4-year-old autistic son injured his fingers twice within the same month at his ABA therapy center when his fingers got caught in a bathroom door, despite being under 1:1 supervision. After the second incident, we discovered he had fractures in two fingers. A few days later, one finger developed a serious infection with pus, requiring an ER visit and surgery under sedation at a children's hospital. A plastic surgeon had to remove his fingernail and clean the infected area. We were told the nail could take up to a year to regrow.

I'm concerned about how this happened twice at the same center despite being he getting good therapy there. Has anyone experienced something similar? What would you do as a parent? Should I consider legal action for cause of medical bill and suffering?

Like do you want to share your life with someone and have a romantic relationship or do you enjoy being by yourself and staying single?

Hi everyone, I’m looking into autism in media and want to share my survey here as I’m this is a neurodivergent space!

Any responses will be greatly appreciated :)

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScFWosLet2xoHUIuLM_Lxh2SmA4eqkEF5vieYUVGSKjilg3Jg/viewform?usp=publish-editor

Research info

Statement of Intent: How can the internal experiences of autism be represented in animation?

Purpose of the survey: To gain a broader view of how autism is portrayed in autistic media, and develop a method of portraying the internal experiences of autism through animation, filling a gap in media of first-hand autistic portrayal.

The name of the university or instituation running the study: Leeds Arts University

The name and contact email of the lead researcher:
Liv Holland
livholland.animation@gmail.com

Who is eligible to participate - Age, gender, sex, ethinicity, race, country, diagnosis status, etc:

Anyone is eligible to complete the first section of this survey, there is a second half for solely those diagnosed with autism to complete.

How responses will be used:
The responses will be analysed to identify existing media representation of autism, and to identify themes to use in future animated coursework.

Data handling: data is anonymous upon collection and will remain anonymous, it will be used in documentation and development of the project but not as an end product.

Time estimate: 15 minutes.

Time frame to apply: Unlimited.

Format: Survey, Google forms.

CW: mention of self-harm

I started hitting myself and couldn’t stop. I was so frustrated because I couldn’t scream or cry (I live with roommates).

Everything—the smell of cigarette smoke, the sound of coughing, the sound of the doors, the big light being turned and left on, EVERYTHING—in the house was just too much.

And I wanted to cut myself (like, REALLY wanted to) for the first time in years because I just needed the energy OUT.

I have been having to regulate away from the house. I have had to climb mountains, go to a free dance class, get inside of a waterfall, etc. to just fucking calm down.

But, I made this ! And I didn’t relapse into cutting today. Which is a really fucking big win with where I’m at.

I really hope I can live alone soon. A guy can dream, I guess. I am so fucking tired of living with people. It’s like… like the soda bottle has been shaken for Y E A R S (I’ve almost always had roommates) and I am finally fucking exploding internally.

Fuck.

I was bullied as a kid like so many kids here.

I am autistic myself and was born EPT (25 weeks gestation)

I am an adult now but the truth is it still really scares me thinking of it even now, at 22. Even as an adult, it still really hurts me.

I understand there are many also here who went through what I went through. Frankly I am angry, angry at the societal narrative that it is just ‘their trauma’ and it is this narrative, that for those here who are also upset, I would like to tear down, because it is factually wrong, misleading, incorrect, invalidating and out of sync with what actual science says.

You know how there are really awesome kind people? There are people on the other end of that spectrum too, people who I have encountered.

I’m at university now, doing optometry.

When I was in year 7, I went through around a year of this, at Lea Manor High School, a well known school in Luton. I went through it after too, in secondary school.

In year 7 alone:

I was put up against a wall and punched 30 times in the stomach by people who stood around laughing at me, taking photos with the abuser. I was really scared, I remember it, I remember asking them to stop, and they didn’t stop, they kept on going.

I remember being slapped by this boy in sports, for no reason whatsoever, other than ‘I can do whatever I want to you’.

I remember how he would hit me whenever he felt like it and said he would do it more if I told anyone.

I remember once I was in year 7, and I glanced around my English class just to see who else was in the class.

Someone else in the class didn’t like that, so after, and I still remember how badly it hurt, they followed me out the class and didn’t let me go to the next class. Instead, they cornered me and hit me really badly in the lower stomach and also hit my head against a brick wall several times. I still remember how badly it hurt, even now, typing this.

For people to excuse that as ‘oh it was just their unresolved trauma’ is just not factual.

It’s not just trauma. So many kids are traumatised, I was traumatised and I don’t do that to kids.

So many of you also were bullied and yet didn’t do that.

The science does not support that either. Science says that people who are inherently bad - yes- they do exist, and they exist without trauma needing to be there as a causative agent.

Science says psychopathy and sadism can exist without there to be a traumatic background.

Yes, people can just be cruel and like being cruel.

This is scientifically fact and kids should be taught it from a young age, because this fact defends victims of bullying like so many of ourselves and doesn’t give them an excuse of ‘I’m broken’ to hang onto.

Facts like these- kids should know, and kids should be taught them like they are taught photosynthesis at school- because knowing the facts about how they are not just broken people will help so many abused, bullied people like us.

What does the science show? I will break down the science here.

The science is extremely clear.

Most bullies (defined as pure bullies in the academic literature) actively enjoy hurting others and most of the aetiology of bullying is not merely trauma, but due to underlying psychopathy and sadism. Science explains that there exists, for bullies, rewards in what they do, hence why they do it.

Most bullies do what they do not out of trauma, but out of power enjoyment: 

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10112998/

"A prominent goal is the accrual of dominance and power... Olweus argued that the bully has more power than the person being victimized, which makes it difficult for victims to defend themselves." — Bullying and the Abuse of Power [1]

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5617882/

"Youth scoring high on psychopathic traits may be especially prone to use bullying as an instrument to acquire dominance and popularity." — Are Youth Psychopathic Traits Related to Bullying? Meta-Analysis [1]

"Intentionally harming others (i.e., aggression) in the context of a power imbalance is an essential element of many definitions of bullying... some researchers also consider these elements to be essential characteristics of sadism; in fact, it has been argued that sadistic aggression often involves a power imbalance between the (dominating) sadistic person and the (dominated) victim." — On the relation of boredom and sadism in schools [1]

"Our study is the first to demonstrate that bullying behaviour activates a primary brain reward circuit that makes it pleasurable to a subset of individuals." — Dr. Scott Russo, Mount Sinai Hospital (published in Nature) [1]

And where does bullying come from? Science says it’s mostly genetic:

Here is landmark research from King’s College London.

Researchers found that, of the two influences being studied, genes were the most important factor influencing which children became victims and bullies: genetic influences explained 73% of children’s risk for being a victim and 61% of their risk for being a bully. 

Here is the evidence. Evidence supports the hypothesis that yes, pure bullies enjoy power and dominance when someone else is hurt. Yes, they enjoy hurting you. Yes, people like that make up the majority of what we define as pure bullying.

Bukowski, Buhrmester, and Underwood (2011) observed that adolescents who are bullies typically target youth who do not have friends and are socially withdrawn, making them unlikely to retaliate.

And can you make anyone a bully? Also no.

Human Aggression Across the Lifespan: Genetic Propensities and Environmental Moderators

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3696520/

Findings from these G × E studies suggest that not all individuals will be affected to the same degree by experiences and exposures, and that genetic predispositions may have different effects depending on the environment.

Meaning: ‘Trauma’ will not affect all individuals equally. Those who are inclined to violence who are exposed to violence will perpetrate violence.

Individual differences explain differences in aggression within the same environment:

Although we are unaware of any twin or adoption studies of aggression induced in authoritative situations such as in the Milgram or Stanford Prison studies, the vast evidence for genetic influences in most forms of aggression that have been studied could suggest that individual differences in those early studies might have stemmed in part from different genetic propensities in their subjects.

From another paper:

Twelve percent of children were severely bullied as victims, 13% were frequent bullies, and 2.5% were heavily involved as bully-victims. Genetic factors accounted for 73% of the variation in victimisation and 61% of the variation in bullying, with the remainder explained by environmental factors not shared between the twins. The covariation between victim and bully roles (r = .25), which characterises bully-victims, was accounted for by genetic factors only. Some genetic factors influenced both victimisation and bullying, although there were also genetic factors specific to each social role.

What does the bold bit mean?

It means that genetic factors will exert significant effects, over and above environmental factors- not that 73 percent of all cases are solely genetic, but that genetics has a very large role to play.

I hope that if you are also someone who is genuinely autistic and was bullied too, this post helps you.

I remember how they genuinely found it amusing to watch me cry, as a kid, and the science totally vindicates that was not just random.

I think it’s really interesting just how different people’s sensory needs are. Something that’s calming for one person can be a trigger for someone else, and I find that fascinating. It’s also a great example of just how vast the spectrum is.

Anyways, one of my biggest sensory issues is the feeling of wearing socks on carpet. I can’t quite explain why, but the feeling of it is nauseating to me. I don’t even like thinking about it, to be honest. I have a handful of other sensory problems as well, but that’s the strangest one I can think of right now. So I’m curious to hear from others :)

Has anyone else here heard that argument and become upset? Like it just gives them a pass, like ‘oh it’s just because they were hurting’.

It’s not true. It’s an evasive, flawed way to escape reality- but why do people propagate it? It implies everyone who is kind and compassionate is just so because they were in the right environment.

But that’s wrong.

Trauma can exist without future cruelty. Thousands of children grow up in traumatic, abusive environments, whether at home or at school, and do not abuse or inflict deliberate pain on other children.

In science, if there is variance in behaviour when candidates are exposed to a single variable, then that variable is not causing all the variance. 

It’s their choice. 

I was bullied as a kid like so many kids here.

I am autistic myself and was born EPT (25 weeks gestation)

I am an adult now but the truth is it still really scares me thinking of it even now, at 22. Even as an adult, it still really hurts me.

I understand there are many also here who went through what I went through. Frankly I am angry, angry at the societal narrative that it is just ‘their trauma’ and it is this narrative, that for those here who are also upset, I would like to tear down, because it is factually wrong, misleading, incorrect, invalidating and out of sync with what actual science says.

You know how there are really awesome kind people? There are people on the other end of that spectrum too, people who I have encountered.

I’m at university now, doing optometry.

When I was in year 7, I went through around a year of this, at Lea Manor High School, a well known school in Luton. I went through it after too, in secondary school.

In year 7 alone:

I was put up against a wall and punched 30 times in the stomach by people who stood around laughing at me, taking photos with the abuser. I was really scared, I remember it, I remember asking them to stop, and they didn’t stop, they kept on going.

I remember being slapped by this boy in sports, for no reason whatsoever, other than ‘I can do whatever I want to you’.

I remember how he would hit me whenever he felt like it and said he would do it more if I told anyone.

I remember once I was in year 7, and I glanced around my English class just to see who else was in the class.

Someone else in the class didn’t like that, so after, and I still remember how badly it hurt, they followed me out the class and didn’t let me go to the next class. Instead, they cornered me and hit me really badly in the lower stomach and also hit my head against a brick wall several times. I still remember how badly it hurt, even now, typing this.

For people to excuse that as ‘oh it was just their unresolved trauma’ is just not factual.

It’s not just trauma. So many kids are traumatised, I was traumatised and I don’t do that to kids.

So many of you also were bullied and yet didn’t do that.

The science does not support that either. Science says that people who are inherently bad - yes- they do exist, and they exist without trauma needing to be there as a causative agent.

Science says psychopathy and sadism can exist without there to be a traumatic background.

Yes, people can just be cruel and like being cruel.

This is scientifically fact and kids should be taught it from a young age, because this fact defends victims of bullying like so many of ourselves and doesn’t give them an excuse of ‘I’m broken’ to hang onto.

Facts like these- kids should know, and kids should be taught them like they are taught photosynthesis at school- because knowing the facts about how they are not just broken people will help so many abused, bullied people like us.

What does the science show? I will break down the science here.

The science is extremely clear.

Most bullies (defined as pure bullies in the academic literature) actively enjoy hurting others and most of the aetiology of bullying is not merely trauma, but due to underlying psychopathy and sadism. Science explains that there exists, for bullies, rewards in what they do, hence why they do it.

Most bullies do what they do not out of trauma, but out of power enjoyment: 

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10112998/

"A prominent goal is the accrual of dominance and power... Olweus argued that the bully has more power than the person being victimized, which makes it difficult for victims to defend themselves." — Bullying and the Abuse of Power [1]

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5617882/

"Youth scoring high on psychopathic traits may be especially prone to use bullying as an instrument to acquire dominance and popularity." — Are Youth Psychopathic Traits Related to Bullying? Meta-Analysis [1]

"Intentionally harming others (i.e., aggression) in the context of a power imbalance is an essential element of many definitions of bullying... some researchers also consider these elements to be essential characteristics of sadism; in fact, it has been argued that sadistic aggression often involves a power imbalance between the (dominating) sadistic person and the (dominated) victim." — On the relation of boredom and sadism in schools [1]

"Our study is the first to demonstrate that bullying behaviour activates a primary brain reward circuit that makes it pleasurable to a subset of individuals." — Dr. Scott Russo, Mount Sinai Hospital (published in Nature) [1]

And where does bullying come from? Science says it’s mostly genetic:

Here is landmark research from King’s College London.

Researchers found that, of the two influences being studied, genes were the most important factor influencing which children became victims and bullies: genetic influences explained 73% of children’s risk for being a victim and 61% of their risk for being a bully. 

Here is the evidence. Evidence supports the hypothesis that yes, pure bullies enjoy power and dominance when someone else is hurt. Yes, they enjoy hurting you. Yes, people like that make up the majority of what we define as pure bullying.

Bukowski, Buhrmester, and Underwood (2011) observed that adolescents who are bullies typically target youth who do not have friends and are socially withdrawn, making them unlikely to retaliate.

And can you make anyone a bully? Also no.

Human Aggression Across the Lifespan: Genetic Propensities and Environmental Moderators

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3696520/

Findings from these G × E studies suggest that not all individuals will be affected to the same degree by experiences and exposures, and that genetic predispositions may have different effects depending on the environment.

Meaning: ‘Trauma’ will not affect all individuals equally. Those who are inclined to violence who are exposed to violence will perpetrate violence.

Individual differences explain differences in aggression within the same environment:

Although we are unaware of any twin or adoption studies of aggression induced in authoritative situations such as in the Milgram or Stanford Prison studies, the vast evidence for genetic influences in most forms of aggression that have been studied could suggest that individual differences in those early studies might have stemmed in part from different genetic propensities in their subjects.

From another paper:

Twelve percent of children were severely bullied as victims, 13% were frequent bullies, and 2.5% were heavily involved as bully-victims. Genetic factors accounted for 73% of the variation in victimisation and 61% of the variation in bullying, with the remainder explained by environmental factors not shared between the twins. The covariation between victim and bully roles (r = .25), which characterises bully-victims, was accounted for by genetic factors only. Some genetic factors influenced both victimisation and bullying, although there were also genetic factors specific to each social role.

What does the bold bit mean?

It means that genetic factors will exert significant effects, over and above environmental factors- not that 73 percent of all cases are solely genetic, but that genetics has a very large role to play.

I hope that if you are also someone who is genuinely autistic and was bullied too, this post helps you.

I remember how they genuinely found it amusing to watch me cry, as a kid, and the science totally vindicates that was not just random.

Bullies have low affective empathy. They do not care about your pain.

Evidence

Consistent with existing literature, we found that low affective empathy was a significant predictor of bullying perpetration at follow-up (Odds Ratios (OR) = 0.60, 95% CI [0.45, 0.81], p < 0.001), but so was low cognitive empathy (OR = 0.73, 95% CI [0.56, 0.95], p < 0.001). 

We also found that both high affective (OR = 1.34, 95% CI [1.23, 1.47], p < 0.001) and cognitive (OR = 1.33, 95% CI [1.23, 1.44], p < 0.001) empathy predicted later victimisation.

What this paper is saying is that those who bully others typically: 

Don’t understand your feelings 

Don’t feel for you when they hurt you

This is what ‘low affective empathy’ means. It has significant heritability and strong genetic components. 

What it also says:

People who are bullied by others (those who are victimised) typically

Understand others’ feelings very well and empathise with them

Typically don’t hurt others as they have empathy/compassion.

And what about autism itself and empathy?

The literature shows that the myth that autistic people lack empathy is largely a myth. Autistics according to research done at Sheffield Hallam University display overwhelmingly high levels of sensitivity and hyper empathy.

The literature also links autism with higher receptivity to justice for innocent victims.

Have you ever heard of the scientific term HSP?

It stands for highly sensitive person and there is considerable overlap between HSP and high affective and cognitive empathy.

The scale’s overlap with autism (many autistics are also HSP) debunks the notion kids like us lack empathy. HSP has been shown to correlate with high affective, cognitive empathy and also lower emotional detachment. It’s a really awesome scale, I recommend you look it up. The original scale was derived by Aron et al. in the 2000’s and is a really empowering scale, includes questions like ‘I find I am really empathetic‘, ‘I like animals’ (to my memory) and much more.

The scale includes several items, such as

I avoid violence in films

I cry easily

I worry excessively

I care about the feelings of others

HSP individuals report being: 

…more sensitive than others to caffeine, pain, violent TV, loud noise, and hunger as well as being more conscientious, having a rich inner life…

The literature behind what entails the sub facets of SPS is explicit. 

SPS is characterised by four specific aspects: 1) greater depth of processing (i.e., the tendency to process information more deeply), 2) overstimulation (i.e., the proclivity to be easily overstimulated), 3) emotional reactivity (i.e., stronger emotional reactions to experiences, and in social contexts, greater empathy, so this aspect needed dividing), and 4) sensitivity to subtle stimuli (i.e., heightened sensory sensitivity)—summarised by the acronym DOES (Aron, 2010; Aron et al., 2012).

Lower gestational age has been shown to be a predictor of higher sensitivity, as measured by the HSP scale. In other words, those born extremely prematurely are more likely to 

The study below highlights this point. 

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656623000326

Early life adversity tends to foster higher adult sensory processing sensitivity. · Adversity is reflected in shorter gestational age… at p < 0.005.

Perhaps owing to higher sensitivity and responsiveness to feelings, those with higher SPS are also more likely to care about topics encircling these themes, like bullying and victimisation. 

 the intervention appeared to significantly lower bullying and victimisation. However, when subdividing participants in the intervention condition by sensitivity levels, the children high in SPS (especially boys) primarily accounted for this finding. Low sensitivity children demonstrated no significant reduction in bullying or victimisation. 

For both studies, it is speculated that highly sensitive individuals were able to deeply process, and thus better internalise, the content of the intervention, explaining the more pronounced effects…

Research shows connections between SPS (the construct measured by the HSP scale) and personality characteristics. 

Higher SPS has been associated with higher cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and lower emotional detachment: 

Laros-van Gorkom BAP, Damatac CG, Stevelmans I and Greven CU (2025) Relationships of sensory processing sensitivity with creativity and empathy in an adult sample. Front. Psychol. 15:1465407. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1465407

https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1465407/full

Furthermore, higher SPS total and AES scores were associated with more overall empathy (SPS: β = 0.428, pfdr < 0.001; AES: β = 0.373, pfdr < 0.001), affective empathy (SPS: β = 0.507, pfdr < 0.001; AES: β = 0.331, pfdr < 0.001), cognitive empathy (SPS: β = 0.2692, pfdr < 0.001; AES: β = 0.347, pfdr < 0.001), and less emotional disconnection (SPS: β = 0.234, pfdr β 0.001; AES: β = 0.210, pfdr β 0.001). 

Most associations remained significant after controlling for openness to experience, and the other SPS components of ease of excitation and low sensory threshold and gender, age, and education.

Scientifically, not all cases of violence exist because they’re hurt, wounded or traumatised. And similarly, autistic high sensitivity has biological foundations.

Some people get thrills out of hurting others and they do so without remorse.

If the people who bullied my best friend Vihaan were on here, this is what they would say:

I bullied a special needs, autistic, 25 week premature boy, Vihaan. Vihaan has mathematical processing difficulties and is a kind, gentle, deeply compassionate boy. I cornered him for months on end and targeted him via a calculated plan to hurt and isolate him with three other friends. We were a group of 4, and we loved hurting him. I loved hurting him, and I loved it when we beat and punched him in the stomach and on the head. He once came home crying. He came home crying basically every single day and was absolutely terrified. 

It makes me really upset, when people say ‘oh it’s just because of their trauma’, when it clearly is not just ‘because’ of their trauma. It’s an insult to so many people on here who I also know relate to being the small quiet kind boy in class who never hurt anyone, despite being abused or bullied.

Anyone else feel the same?

For me I really love bands like Joy Division, Brand New, and Nine Inch Nails.

I just like how a lot of them have heavy themes of isolation, not being understood, and being completely drained from society.

I was wondering what type of bands you all like or if there's a pattern among us here. Also, a bit selfishly, I'm looking for new music I usually play the same old songs on repeat haha.

Idk if this has to do with autism but I just wanted to discuss it, also I will add a rant about my interests down below. Does anyone feel any type of way when their special interest, hyperfixation, or even maybe just normal interest (im not even sure if i enjoy things a normal amount or not) becomes mass and globally popularized/trendy, when it previously wasn’t as much? I noticed in my life that I get bothered when my interests that I felt where previously MINE, or at least less commonly enjoyed/popular/ enjoyed as intensely where I live and it was like just my thing or a small club, the feeling of seeing it in public or meeting someone with the same interest was amazing, like actually sparks flying, even if I felt ostracized a bit by it by most people. which is maybe part of the problem too. like these things where almost something specific about me, it says a lot about me, I know a lot about IT, felt like part of my identity, even if they are hyperfixation that come and go, but then I get upset when it becomes more massively popularized and ESPECIALLY commercialized.

Like for example this happened to Tea. I wasn’t the first person to enjoy tea, including matcha and chai tea, even my dad told me he had a big tea collection just like me when he was younger. We bonded over it too. I lowkey wanted to have a career in it. Tea is hugely cultural around the world. But It was years before the big commercialized tea trend starting in like the early 2020’s. At first I was amazed and excited to see matcha and chai being sold at cafe’s instead of just disgusting coffee and the same watery black tea. But then it was everywhere, overly sweetened, and always as lattes, and now if I buy one im just a white girl with a matcha latte. I was the FIRST white girl with a matcha everyone is copying ME and they don’t even know anything about it. And the worst part is, some people are now like “i dont get the craze, i hate it, it tastes like grass, ect” OKAY matcha was never MEANT to be a mainstream “craze” anyway stay with your disgusting bean poop water (/hj) and leave it to the actual tea enthusiasts. STAY AWAY. FROM MY THING. All these folks saying they love matcha would gag and throw up if they had it traditional way.

Ive been using reddit for the past 2 hours and all my posts keep getting blocked/deleted by auto mod, it makes me so annoyed purely on how stupid it is, there is nowhere where it states how much posts, karma, etc you need until it properly works so I came on here because im sure the people here know how frustrating this is

My therapy homework is to create a playlist of songs that have words, but no negativity at all in them. I'm very soothed by music, but influenced by emotions I sense from others. Like, if I read a book where the main character faces injustices, I feel angry and wronged in my own life and have to work to separate the 2 things in my mind.

I like mostly older music - Beatles, Queen, Bowie are my favourite. I don't listen to radios or anything, so I don't know much newer music unless someone shares it with me, but have liked the Killers, Chappell Roan, Lady Gaga. I get really agitated with music that has very long intros (like Hotel California) or too much repetition (like Modern Love), so that type of song won't work for me even if the message is positive. I'm also sensitive to higher pitches and too much violin use...

What would your top choice be to add to a playlist like this?

*Edit: Clarifying that I am looking for suggestions of songs from other artists as well, I was just sharing those specific ones as examples of the types of music I enjoy. Though I am still open to seeing suggestions from the 6 I listed, I don't know all their music. I recently discovered the wonderful song Delilah (a song where Freddie Mercury is singing to his cat) exists after listening to Queen songs my whole life.

Im a college freshman (F) and a little uncomfortable with one of my roommates, I have really bad social struggles and can’t keep up with other womens social cues and what not. I hate saying it but because of my lack of social skills I find it easier to hang out with men and I act pretty masculine for a woman.
My roommates both asked me if I was a lesbian 2 weeks ago and they keep asking me, not convinced when I say that I’m not.
I’m very uncomfortable with the situation because it feels like they’re pressuring me to get with another woman. I want to talk to them about it but there is alot of tension in our room and I’m very non-confrontational.

I brought it up to my friends and they just laughed and said they agree that I’m probably a lesbian. Ive been getting called one since I was in 6th grade, I just want to understand what makes people think I’m lesbian and hopefully fix that.
Obviously there is nothing wrong with being lesbian I’m just uncomfortable with my sexuality being such a big topic of conversation currently.

Today I spent over an hour going through old photos of myself before the age of 7. Before that age, I seemed like a perfectly normal, happy little girl. I was treated like a princess by everyone around me and loved so much. Then the symptoms of my autism started showing more and more from then on. I went from a beautiful little blessing to a burden. I was so angry, I was so frustrated, so moody and constantly anxious. As time goes on, I become a bigger burden on my parents. I can’t leave the house by myself, I can’t work, I can’t do anything and I haven’t achieved anything like a ‘normal’ person my age.
Looking at the photos really triggered me and I’ve been trying to figure out why and it’s because I still feel like a little girl. My body feels too big for my mind. I struggle a lot with age regression and looking at those photos just made me so unbelievably sad. Im a child in a body that keeps growing. I want to look like that again. Im not an adult, theres nothing ‘adult’ about me except the way I look. I hate it. I want to go back. Im a little girl who is adult sized.
I can’t fully explain how I feel but I feel like I need to be small again. Being small is safe. It’s like the world is too big for me.
I know this didn’t make any sense. It feels like one part of me still feels like the little princess because mentally I am a little girl. I still buy teddies, I still go everywhere with my parents, I can be very joyful in the way a child is but at the same time I’m not a child. Im a burden and these behaviours aren’t so accepted when you’re an adult. But at the same time I still get meltdowns like I did when I was starting to show signs of autism. I was a burden then but still I was a child, however I still feel the exact same in those moments as I did when I was that age. My parents didn’t know I was autistic so got very very angry with me at that age so I was never comforted through my meltdowns but now I’m older, it’s worse as it’s seen as ‘childish’ behaviour. But in my mind I am a child 😭😭
So in my everyday life I feel like a little girl. In my moments of overwhelm, I feel like the slightly older version of myself, but still a little girl.
There’s nothing adult about me.
Im sorry that this made no sense but I have no friends and nobody to talk to. My parents don’t care, just tell me to shut up and grow up. But I feel sick with sadness
I want advice but also I want to know if anyone relates. Thank you for listening

Hello fellow autistic folk a like I am just reaching out to fellow Autistic people that are from Ontario Canada as well.

I have Von Willy Brand Disorder (a bleeding disorder) I don't trust myself with the kitchen because of the knives in there and im scared I'm about to cut myself with the knife and going to the hospital to get stitches, now he's never will care about me about whats going on inside or outside of my body I just wish I can travel back in time to we were kids before I was diagnosed with everything I have with autism, a bleeding disorder, we were just kids looking out for each other but now he's acting like a spoiled brat (not actually just a little bit)

hi everyone! long-time lurker, first time posting here.

i've seen a lot of autistic people share that they hate wearing clothes because the feeling of it can be overstimulating, but i'm curious if anyone else has the opposite problem and being without clothes is overstimulating?

for me personally, i can't stand being naked. the feeling of air moving over my skin, my body parts touching together, and the lack of pressure on my skin is sensory hell for me. when i have to undress you can bet i'm getting re-dressed as soon as possible. and this applies to small clothes like short shorts and bathing suits too, they leave too much of me exposed to the elements and i can't comfortably wear them for long.

anyone else relate?

While this wasn’t the only reason it definitely made me think yeah I can’t be around her anymore.

Context, I met her at the community college we both attended. She was cool for the most part and pretty friendly. She would ask me to go the mall with her near her house to hang out every so often. There is a target there and one day we go to buy ice cream and some other stuff. We go to the self checkout line and there is this young man, maybe in his early 20s, who at least in my eyes, is very visibly autistic/neurodivergent. He walks up to these girls in front of us and tells them its his friends birthday and how old he is turning. He walks up to us and tells us the same thing and seemed very excited to tell us this. I thought it was sweet and told him I wished a happy birthday to his friend. My friend didn’t really say anything and I didn’t think much of it, until after he left and then my friend says something along the lines of, “In my country, people like him wouldn’t allowed to bother other people in public” I literally was like ????????? We are in the US btw, she is from Europe (i wont say specific country for anonymity) but I genuinely was so shocked that she said this. Its even more shocking to me bc she has an autistic brother that kinda likes saying random stuff like this so i was like wtf. She said it with so much disgust too i was really confused. The interaction with the guy was maybe 30 seconds at most and he didnt bother me at all.

This was one of those moments where her true personality showed and I was like yea we cant be friends sorry. She was extremely judgy and would gossip about everyone tho so I’m glad I’m not friends with her anymore. I really hate people who are offput but autistic/neurodivergent folks just being themselves. This has kinda limited my friendships tbh bc most people I have found are extremely judgmental and can sense if ur autistic rly quickly. (I’m not autistic nor been diagnosed)

I've been on this subreddit, studied the topic and had many autistic people in my life, my biggest wish is that one of them or you would've had my mom for a parent.

She is autistic single mom, had me and my (neurotypical) twin through IVF and worked from home, she really devoted her whole life to us since having kids was her biggest dream (she even worked with disabled kids), but I just wish so badly I was born on the spectrum too so her parenting would've worked like she thought it would.

In a lot of ways I think she thought about her own childhood and tried her very best to do things in a way she would've liked as a child, compensating for her own trauma, like not forcing physical touch or social situations onto us. But for me who didn't have any problems with either of those things, received the good willed gestures as: my mom doesn't WANT to touch me and social situations are something to be scared of.

Idk why I'm telling this here, it's just every time I read your guy's post's I keep thinking what a great parent my mom would've been to someone she could understand, and how much an autistic child would've thriven in her care.

I believe much of my problems with my mom and childhood have been caused by this neurological gap, I think many of you can relate to that. It makes me really sad, now that I'm not longer resentful and angry :(

Hello! I've recently experienced it that whenever the smallest things go wrong I start crying without much control. Sometimes I don't even care about the thing that much. Today I lost a tennis match. I don't like playing tennis matches because I'm bad at them. I cried on my way home. Recently in school PE we started a subject I'm not good at. The teacher told us all if we're uncomfortable doing it, we can tell him and do something else. I was bad at it, like expected. I told him and can now do something else. I still feel the urge to cry (and hold it back since I'm in class) when I just think about doing that. And this happens often. I hate it, because often everyone sees me crying. And because I can't control it or how long it is and I'm guessing it's just bad for me in general. Is there any way I can learn how to control this or just not break down every time something slightly goes bad?

Is it just me or is this just really disrespectful, especially when it’s intentionally done if you’re upset and it’s not something “that’s valid to be mad about because you’re just autistic and acting irrational” and honestly I can get none family even though it’s still kind of annoying to tolerate because not everyone knows how to interact with autistic people but especially if a person is baby talking you in a busy public area it just feels kind of humiliating almost.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post, I'm not sure where to post it.

I'm 17 and have mild autism. I'm in a program meant to help me build a routine so I can get back into school or work, but I haven't been going because I've been struggling too much.

Also when i think about how i would kill myself and when and where etc i get this tingling feeling of wanting to do it/excitement but also of being scared or scared to do it.

Lately everything feels worse. I feel useless and I avoid mirrors because I hate how I look. My suicidal thoughts are getting stronger, and I often think about how and where I'd do it. Today I held a knife against my thigh and was too scared to cut.

I can laugh and switch moods in a second while feeling awful inside, so I feel like I'm faking it. I've tried therapy with different people and formats, and nothing has helped. I'm also currently switching from aripiprazole to Prozac/fluoxetine.

I'm scared to feel better, because I don't remember how it feels anymore. I'm also scared everybody will forget what happened and act like everything is fine once its over.

I keep telling myself it doesn't count because other people have it worse, like they cut or attempt and then theres me too scared to do either so i cant be feeling that bad right? Thad how i think.

I'm also scared of losing my only close friend. He's 18 and from the program. We haven't talked in a while because we've both been struggling. Texting is hard for me and I always feel like I'm bothering people.

I don't know exactly what I'm hoping for. Maybe just to not be alone with it for a minute.

If you felt like this at my age and it got better, what changed things for you?

I hate myself.

Nothing matter, no matter how much I say stuff. Try to explain myself, "It's just an anxiety", "Learn how to manage your time", like I haven't already been doing that. Its like a fucking serpent eating itself. I plan over and over again and then get told to stop because it makes me more anxious. Then get told if I can't start stuff then I should manage my time more. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OMG. I'M TIRED OF BEING TOLD THE SAME CRAP EVERYTIME

Nothing matters anymore
Nothing matters anymore
Nothing matters anymore
I’m going to be like this forever with no help it’s the same thing over and voer and over again

I’m so angry, I finally have a psychiatrist and therapist AND NON OF THEN UNDERSTAND WHAT I TRY TO EXPLAIN. I’m just gonna be in and out of the PSYCHWARD forever

People ask me what is it like to be autistic. For context, I am late diagnosed Lvl 1. I did not make up this answer but this is what I use. I tell them its like having a one runway airport in your brain. All day 100 airplanes are trying to land on that one runway at the same time. You are the air traffic controller and all the planes are talking to you on the same frequency at the same time. That is autism for me.