With Halloween coming up I want to be mindful and have options other than candy available. ex: snacks, bubbles, mini water, etc. Thanks for any input!

Edit: I am handing out candy as well, just looking to have more than 1 option available for younger children and those who prefer snack/food items over candy.

My brother who is 11, refuses to use deodorant, and we’ve come to learn that he hasn’t been using body wash when he showers (we’ve discovered this when we were checking to see if he needed a refill before going shopping) he’s a very active kid and spends most of his time outside rolling around in the dirt and sweating. Also he keeps having accidents at night (this was also discovered by us cleaning his bed sheets and discovering stains on the bedding and mattress) we know he why he doesn’t say anything about soiling the bed however we need to know when it does so we can give him clean bedding to sleep on. We’ve been consistently repeating the importance of hygiene and why it’s important but it seems as though talking to him isn’t working? I’m not sure what to do. (Also by we it’s me(f21) and our grandma(f62) the only male figure he’s had also had bad hygiene but he at least showered. The guy is no longer in the picture)

Update: today we discovered that he’s not only wetting the bed but he has been peeing in his trash can and in his dirty clothes basket. We’ll be mentioning this to both his doctor and therapist

We bought our son (17) essentially a shitbox for his first car. It was a crv with almost 200k miles on it. Can you guess what happened to the crv within 2 MONTHS?

Engine went to shit. Obviously buying another engine for thousands isn’t a good idea. I feel bad because he was really starting to like the car and independence. We bought our eldest son a brand new car almost a decade ago and that one’s still holding up. I’m thinking maybe we should have just bought or 17 year old one as well. 4k down the drain.

Never buy your kid a shitbox if you have the money to buy a better car

Just for some context- my 15-year-old son’s a pretty good kid. He normally doesn’t give me any problems and is respectful. He can definitely be lazy and lacks motivation but nothing that I can’t manage. He’s an average student. He doesn’t fail anything, but he doesn’t do fantastic either. Lately he’s been hanging out with more friends and doing more social activities. His father got him an E bike because all of his other friends had E bikes and it makes it easier for him to go and hang out with them and ride around the town etc. ( we are divorced and he stayed at his dads this past weekend) This past weekend, he went to two sleepovers in a row, and when I checked the Life360 app, it showed that he rode his bike to a convenient store on a major hwy in the middle of the night with his friends. I made it very clear to him I don’t want him on the bike at night because of safety concerns. I plan to talk with him about this and obviously there needs to be some type of consequence. I’m just curious for those of you parenting teen boys, how much leeway do you give them to learn life lessons and find themselves while also enforcing rules within the home and keeping them safe. I know to some degree, This is probably normal for teen boys, but I’m still learning and navigating this so I’m just curious how other people would handle it. Thanks.

My husband and I have three kids, ages 5, 3, and 2. Setting up 529 accounts has been on our to do list but we haven’t had a ton of extra savings while paying for daycare. It so happened that this year, right as our oldest started kindergarten we got a $40K inheritance. We plan to put $10K into cash savings to give our emergency fund some cushion and set up the 529s so we want to divide the other $30K among the three accounts. Obviously we could give each kid $10K, but I worry that it’s unfair to the oldest since she has less time for that money to grow. Would you shift it so that they have different amounts? If so, how much would you do for each? We will also now be making a $100 monthly contribution to each of these accounts.

All of the kids will end up being 2 grades apart in school.

How would you feel if your hypothetical daughter or son was pushing 30 and never talked about dating, crushes, never brought anyone home etc? What would you think or do?

Asking for myself as the 29F bisexual daughter who has never been in a relationship. I've gone on dates here and there but gave up on dating apps about two years ago. I have an all consuming job so trying to meet someone outside of work is nearly impossible. And I'm not interested in mixing work and dating.

Some context: I've never ever talked about dating or sexuality with my parents as a child or adult, I've always struggled to make and keep friends, I'm not very attractive so I don't get asked out irl except for twice in my entire life years ago.

My parents aren't conservative but we never talked about dating or sex but I think they were expecting me to find someone once I went to college but that obviously never happened.

I'm curious to know what parents would think if you had an adult child like me.

I’m 9 months pp right now and considering one and done, it’s just now starting to get easier and i can’t imagine starting over again. Will i change my mind later on? I always wanted two before i had a baby

We’re on a trip with my in-laws and yesterday we went to a gift/clothing store. My child (3.5) asked for a stuffed animal when we walked in and I said no because we had already gotten one from a museum that morning.

As we were wrapping up my child asked again and my mother-in-law said yes. I responded by saying I had already said no and my mother-in-law said "but look at her face!" The rest of the family was watching and I felt so stuck. I went to ask my wife about it and she didn’t want to get in the middle I think so she said she didn’t mind.

It just all felt too public. It felt like everyone was watching and my social anxiety kicked in. I told my mother-in-law she could get it. She said "sorry I threw you under the bus but that was so fun!" And then later proudly retold the story to everyone.

Then to make matters worse that evening I saw her offering my child a lick from her ice cream cone after we had specifically said or child had been enough sugar today. And when I saw it and said no to my child my mother-in-law smiled and said "Oh she already had a lick". And I was like "I would appreciate you asking me first" and she rolled her eyes before saying "Thank you for saying that".

I am still so flustered and annoyed by it all. I am not sure how to address it with her because she gets so defensive. It just feels so ridiculous and immature!

Edited to add: My child has an egg allergy so the ice cream was not a safe choice without checking ingredients.

Shes been struggling and missing a lot of school. She's never been open to talking about her feelings at all. I tell her I'm there for her and have forced her into therapy because we found a knife in the bathroom and she is missing a ton of school. I went to check if she was doing okay before bed and before I left she kept trying to get something out. After maybe 5 minutes of her trying to talk to me she asked if I remembered anything that happened when she was younger. I told her I don't think so and we left it at that for years. But this conversation still sticks out to me and makes me feel sick. Like maybe she wanted to see if I knew something happened. I have no idea. I've tried to talk to her but she doesn't even speak with me or her therapist. Should I be worried?

Im 17 and my suitemates bf is 23 I feel uncomfortable sleeping in a suite with a man I know nothing about when the doors don't lock. They often keep me up at night talking and screaming and when I try and address it she gets rude and says its college I need to get used to it and then cursed me out to her bf saying its my fualt. I need a way to tell her you can't bring your bf bc when you agreed to get a single and to live with a minor the rules say you must ask me before any overnight guests and I can kick them out at any time. Do you guys know a gentle way to tell her we need to set overnight boundaries before I bring in a ra.

It’s just so hard here, bed bugs, the bathroom often has human poo on the wall or floor.

The staff treat us like we are less than human and I was SA by a fellow staying here.

I am disabled and have no alternative as it’s getting cold out and I can’t be outside.

I’m pregnant and they won’t move me to a women’s shelter until I’m 7 months pregnant according to policy. (I was graped, I didn’t plan to have a baby while being unhoused and recovering from such a severe brain injury during the grape I now have a time remembering simple things).

What would you do to reduce suffering

Hi everyone. I'm posting here as a worried older sister because I genuinely don't know where else to turn. My little brother is 14 years old and in high school. I know he's a good person. He's incredibly kind, humble, and has a good heart. But he's also very irresponsible and impulsive. He constantly gets himself into situations he shouldn't be in, and he rarely thinks about the consequences of his actions. Recently, he went with our dad to a family gathering at a friend's house. At some point, our dad left him there and went home. During that time, my brother ended up doing drugs. I only know about this because my brother trusts me enough to tell me things, and he told me what happened. Apparently, someone who uses drugs showed up at the gathering. This person and another man took my 14 year old brother into the bathroom and told him to snort some white powder. I don't even know what he&& that substance was. They also gave him a mar&@uana vape.

And I just keep thinking, why on earth would anyone give drugs to a child? What kind of adult thinks that's okay? I had absolutely no idea my brother was being exposed to people like this. There's also something else that makes this situation complicated.

In the past, I caught my brother in a private situation involving another boy. I kept it a secret because our parents are somewhat homophobic, and I didn't think telling them would accomplish anything other than hurting my brother unnecessarily.

I want to be a good older sister. I want him to feel safe with me, and I don't want him to go through things that could hurt him just because the adults around him don't know how to handle certain situations.

I would gladly keep his personal secrets, but this time feels completely different. This isn't about him having feelings for another boy or exploring who he is. This is about his safety, his health, and potentially his life.

I love my parents. They're good people who work hard and give us the best they can. But they genuinely don't know how to handle situations like this. Their approach to parenting is very old-fashioned, and they can be extremely closed-minded.

I'm almost certain that if I tell them what happened, it won't turn into a calm conversation about helping my brother. It'll become a huge family conflict, and I'm afraid things will only get worse.

We're also immigrants, and where we come from, drugs are a particularly serious and heavily stigmatized subject. This makes me even more worried about how my parents would react.

But I'm only 18 years old. I'm barely figuring out my own life, and I have absolutely no idea how I'm supposed to handle something this serious.

I'm scared for my brother.

I don't want to lose his trust. If something like this ever happens again, I want him to know he can come to me. I want him to feel comfortable telling me things instead of hiding them because he's afraid of getting in trouble.

And the truth is, we're not even those super close, affectionate siblings you see in movies. We're very different people, and we don't always get along. But despite that, I know he trusts me. He chose to tell me something like this, probably because he knows I've protected his privacy before.

That means a lot to me.

But I also know I can't protect him from everything, especially something as dangerous as this.

I'm also deeply disturbed by the fact that adults were willing to take a 14-year-old into a bathroom and give him an unknown substance. I don't know whether he felt pressured or how much he actually understood about what he was taking.

I don't want to punish him. I want to protect him, and I want him to understand how serious this is.

I just don't know what to do.

Should I tell my parents even if it means losing his trust? Should I try talking to him myself first? Is there a better way to involve an adult without making everything worse?

If you're a parent, an older sibling, or someone who has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate your advice.

I love my little brother, and I'm terrified of making the wrong decision.

What is the secret to potty training?

My 2.5 year old showed all the signs by age 2. We started and it was going well but then he got all sorts of illnesses and regressed and then I gave birth to our second so that kinda derailed things. He started showing interest in going to the bathroom at daycare recently and was told he starting to hold pee so I figured I’d give it another go.

I’ve been at it for 2 weeks and he just doesn’t care that he’s wet. He will pee when we take him but will not tell me he needs to go. He’s now getting mad about it all now that the novelty has worn off. I feel we are at a stand still with endless accidents.

Help!

I wonder if anyone has any info on this. I came across a post about how high achieving and straight A student are likely to grow up with more negative experiences of parenthood. The post was about motherhood specifically. The rough explanation before my feed updated and the post disappeared was that the brain is wired for deadlines and a result/ external validation to confirm performance or something along these lines. I have had struggles with motherhood ever since my child was born 13 years ago. I was awarded 4 scholarships and recently completed my PhD. I am wonder what the relationship between these two could be. I wonder if anyone has more info on this?

I realized today that a lot of my mental health struggles stem from not having a home environment where I felt emotionally safe. I feel 'alone' a lot. Growing up, I was constantly criticized by my mom, and I think I learned to shut down and dissociate whenever she gives me advice because I remember trying to explain myself only to be yelled at. I wasn't allowed to make mistakes, and when I cried, I was met with little empathy. My dad was largely absent because of work, and even now, I feel emotionally disconnected from him. My parents also never speak and are only together for the family. Family vacations were never something to look forward to because there was always tension or conflict between my parents. They're doing the best that they can, I'm grateful for them, I can empathize with them since they are immigrant parents, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't see them as a good support system.

I know my parents love me, and I'm fortunate that I haven't had to worry about finances, but I've realized that providing for me isn't the same as providing emotional support. I don't feel the need to call my mom anymore because, when I used to, she would become intrusive and micromanage my life. Now, I feel like I've lost that connection. My sisters are the only family members I genuinely feel comfortable confiding in, and they're the people I feel closest to.

As I approach graduating university, I'm realizing how much uncertainty I carry. Although I have a home to return to, I don't feel emotionally supported or understood, especially when it comes to my career. My parents didn't attend university and don't fully understand how different the job market is today. I also can't imagine living with them long-term. I feel sad that this is my reality, and I think I carry a lot of resentment toward my mom.

Post-grad I plan to live at home, but my parents are also moving to a more rural place, and that would mean I'll have to drive more just to get to stores/gym/work, and I absolutely hate that. I am also anxious about money, because while I never had to worry about bills growing up, I saw my parents struggle a lot, and they busted their ass to get money, and I'm not in a career that automatically pays a lot. I want to learn how to love myself, feel secure in who I am, make money, and build self-esteem. How do I start?

I'm 21F, my dad is 57M, and he is controlling. I was planning to go to NYC for a concert next weekend with my own money and I asked him if he could drop me to the train station. We live about 2.5 hours away and NYC is easily accessible by train, but every plan I've ever had of traveling there alone has been shut down. This time was no different, he said there's no way I'm going there alone and started insulting the band and calling me crazy for spending money on concerts. I've always put up with this but I'm kind of at my wits end. When I reminded him that I don't need his permission, he said that I live under his roof, and that I can find my own place to live too. I don't think he'd actually evict me but oh well.

This time I want to just do the trip, I won't even acknowledge my parents, but I'm scared of their reaction. I never had a rebellion phase and I spent all of my adolescence being completely obedient. I think that made my parents too comfortable with exerting authority over me as an adult and I'm struggling hard to navigate this. What the hell can I even say to him to convince him otherwise when a reminder that I'm 21 was just met with a thinly veiled eviction threat?

Right now Im comparing Smartypants, Olly, and First day’s teen multivitamin. But First day caught my attention because it has a pretty different ingredient approach than some of the other gummy vitamins I’ve looked at.

But honestly, Im having a hard time deciding based on the bottles and websites alone.

For parents who have actually purchased First Day for their teenager:

* Did your teen like the taste?
* Did you notice any difference after taking it regularly?
* Was it worth the price compared with other teen multivitamins?

Im not looking for a brand rep response, just trying to hear from parents who have used it.

I’m very frustrated rn, but I’ll try to remain as calm as possible when making this post

I didn’t wake up at 5 today, I was tired so I slept in till 10:30 am, so when I got up the kids were already awake

I’ve been trying to eat healthier, so I started cooking catfish with my breakfast every morning.

I figured my auntie could see to their needs so that I could cook my breakfast as I normally do, I did consider just putting a fair life protein drink in my coffee and that would be my breakfast, but I didn’t want to start bad habits. Because that’s a slippery slope, first it starts as a one off thing, then next thing you know, you’re constantly doing stuff like that.

Problem is the kids typically use their words and nonverbal communication with me if they don’t know how to talk, and whine with her. Idk why.

For example the three year old will say “may I please have more drink?” When talking to me, but with her he’ll just be like “😭” until she figures it out

So that’s why I usually help with the kids when I’m able, to reduce whining and tantrums.

The one year old can’t talk yet, so he’ll o just bring us his cup

The boys HATE it when I can’t give them my attention, I’ve noticed that the moment I leave the living room, they approach the baby gate and start asking for stuff. Which I can’t always see to immediately when I’m cooking or talking to my mother.

I had to tell the one year old “go ask grandma” today

The three year old whines whenever he’s told to wait

I JUST woke up and already dealing with this, I’m going insane. This is why I like getting up early if I have the energy , quiet mornings.

EDIT: mistakes were made this morning, lessons were learned. From now on, I’ll only cook if I get my booty up TO cook, and if the kids are already awake, Greek yogurt and cereal with honey and fruit will be my breakfast as someone else suggested. Ty all for your input. I’ll be locking this post now

I want to sleepover with my gf on Halloween night but my dad won't let me because he doesn't want us having sex. I've met her twice and haven't even hugged her yet. I have no sexual desires towards her. How can I convince my dad to let me sleep over at her house :/

(We're both 13)

So my eight year old cousin is over rn, and he likes my cooking! I love feeding him! It makes me so happy

At first I’d just let him try some food off my plate, cuz I didn’t mind, and last night I couldn’t finish my food. I had some cut up baked potatoes and chicken breast I hadn’t even touched

So I asked him if he wanted it, and he said yes. So I got him his own fork, cut up about half the chicken breast for him, and he happily ate the food.

My goal is to have at least one piece of salmon every day, so that’s why I couldn’t finish the potatoes or chicken. I had already eaten the broccoli and salmon.

So anyway, tonight I’m cooking steak and salmon, but I’m looking at that steak and thinking to myself already “there ain’t no way I’ll be able to finish that” it’s a CHONKY STEAK

So since my aunt doesn’t mind me feeding sharing the food I cook with him, I thought I’d plan ahead this time and get him his own plate with half the steak cut up into bite sized pieces for him. Some veggies, and cut up baked potatoes again since Ik that’s what he likes.

Idk how developed his taste buds are, Ik children’s taste buds have to develop over time, and I usually season my food a good bit. I didn’t always because I’m autistic and preferred bland food, but then COVID killed my taste buds and now I’m like a zombie from iZombie. I want to actually be able to TASTE my food

So with steak I use the woodfried Kinder’s seasoning, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper.

I’m asking this because Idk if I should cook it differently for him or not, but he’s never complained about how I season my food before, and his parents don’t have a problem with it.

EDIT: I’m gonna cook for him tonight, and whenever he’s over. Ty all for answering, I’ll be locking this post now.

my baby daddy gives an attitude whenever i ask him to do things related to the baby. to add up, he doesnt have a work and im the one who pays for bills. its just annoying for me seeing him getting mad when i tell him to burp the baby or change the diaper. he even has the nerve to be impatient with me even after i told him that i just gave birth and i need him to be more understanding.