I’m 17F, and I still call my parents Mom and Dad. But my whole life, I can remember my mom always calling her mom by her first name. I was never told why she did it, she just always has. I’ve also heard other adults call their parents by their first names, do parents not like their adult children call them mom and dad anymore

When i was in school cell phones existed, but neither they nor pagers were allowed on school property. Apparently they were only used by drug dealers. Keep in mind that I graduated high school nearly 30 years ago. How would you feel if your kid's school suddenly banned them?

My dad has always said he likes to buy us things because " that's what he is supposed to do."

He says he likes doing it and it's "his job," but there's something about his tone that makes me feel awful. We are the lower end of middle class.

It makes me feel bad when he spends a lot of money on me. Do dad's feel good about being able to provide for their kids, or do they feel forced to? Iam 17 F.

Hello all, I am a 30(F) and a toddler mom. Child is 1.5years old and I’m constantly striving to learn how I can be a better mom. I want to be a good mom and build a close, lasting relationship with my daughter. More than anything, I want her to have the kind of relationship with me that I wish I’d had growing up. What are some things that people have done? Maybe even from the toddler stage?

for context when I was 5, my father passed away.

my mother remarried when I was 7, so I could have a father figure growing up, however my stepdad lied to her about moving in and ended up living overseas until I was 15 when he finally moved in.

In that time, my mother has always raised me as a single parent. she was never abusive, cooked and cleaned and attended all my school events, encouraged me and most importantly, constantly reassured me that she loved me most in the world, and if my stepdad ever laid a hand on me, she'd divorce him immediately.

when my stepdad moved in, the adjustment was a nightmare. I always hated him. He was a tough, serious, and hard man who expected nothing less from me than being the best at everything, particularly my grades. basicaally the opposite of my mother who was supportive no matter what.

I guess thats what made the adjustment hard. He said that im HIS daughter and he considers me his biological daughter (he has no kids) and thats why he expects what he expects from me.

in return, I was expected to obey him, not talk back, do everything he wanted me to do. Once I didn't get the best grade in math and he forced me to pull 3 all nighters studying just math, while he sat on my bed and watched me the whole night to make sure I didn't sleep.

if I talked back, all hell would break loose. I complained to my mother all the time and she never took me seriously. instead she got so giddy and excited around him like a teen girl, almost like she was blinded by love. and when she was gone, he'd force me to sit in front of him for hours, not allowed to leave as he interrogated me difficult questions like "what is your perception of human kind" or "who's a better dad, me or ur bio dad?"

when I was 16, the big fights started. whenever he felt his authority wasn't taken seriously, he'd explode on me. He's said things like "You ruined my happy marriage and a chance to live a normal life or "you're a devil. may god curse you". He'd push me around and if I tried to walk away he'd drag me back or push me to the floor. once, he choked me, which was the worst one.

every single time, my mom would watch. and she wouldn't do anything. she never defended me, even when I begged her to defend me in front of him she'd just sit frozen and not say anything.

since then, I felt like my love for her died. or at least my respect. I stopped talking to her, stopped eating with her, and stopped going out with her. our relationship was never the same.

I guess she started to grow resentment too, as everytime she saw me, she would criticise me or say something negative, telling me how I wasn't good enough, or I didn't do anything right. she never spoke to me like that before.

when my stepdad wasn't home, she was angry, depressed and never cooked. but when he came home, she was bright, cheerful, talkative and made her best meals. it hurt me. It sounds bad, but I hated seeing her with him like that, and flip a switch with me.

it was like this for a year. but today I finally broke. as soon as she came home, she caught me sitting on the couch on my phone. she started yelling on how fucking relaxed I look and how im never gonna get good in my final exams, and how she doubted id even pass. she's been saying these things everyday for the past month, and I ended up replying that I dont give a fuck, and I cant wait for the day she dies so I can finally live in peace. she was shocked, and didn't say anything and left. since then she's been completely shut off. we dont speak, im uncomfortable as fuck in the house and I try to leave whenever I can. I started smoking this year thinking id get a little bit of peace but now I have to smoke at least 5-10 cigs a day. Im not sure if im just a brat like they say I am, or they're really as unlikeable and insufferable as I think they are.

anyway, apologies for the long post.

i wanted to ask u guys about a situation im in right now because idk what else to do. i cant emphatize with my parents but u probably can.
ok so first of all some context: i studied abroad and am graduating in october. i am also studying for a second time in a different country. i just dont want to go to my graduation. theres no big reason. its on a saturday, i have a project that counts as a midterm due the monday after and another one on the tuesday. it would be a total 13 hrs there and back on multiple planes + trains and i just dont have time for that right this moment. i have no good memories or friends in that country, and i made peace with not going. its just not that big of a deal. the issue is my parents. they have gone from pressuring me into it to yelling at me to convince me to now just well not even believing im graduating. like deadass i got 9 paragraphs from my mom saying im lying about graduating. idk what to do really. anyone has any advice or can explain why theyre doing this?

With Halloween coming up I want to be mindful and have options other than candy available. ex: snacks, bubbles, mini water, etc. Thanks for any input!

Edit: I am handing out candy as well, just looking to have more than 1 option available for younger children and those who prefer snack/food items over candy.

I firmly believe there was no reason or intent for me to attend a university as my parents neglected my education and emotional well-being while they focused on my eldest and younger siblings as I am the 2nd child. I later found out through my employer of 5 years my parents had made a request not to have me enrolled in a university which really caused me to fly off the handrails at work as I had wasted 5 years of my life for nothing.

Also, do you see anything that indicates my dad was determined to set me up for failure? Growing up, he would always berate me, boss me around and blame me for things I never did. This idiot also got me to lawn mow when I needed to use the toilet while still feeling very tired.

How angry should I be given how my type of thinking involves deep analytical skills as a child and dad just destroyed my childhood. I feel like If he hadn't abused me over the years, I would've made it into a prestigious school.

kids sometimes say things so casually that you don't realize how funny they are until a few seconds later. i'm curious about those moments when your child came out with something completely unexpected and caught you off guard.

what's one thing your kid said that still makes you laugh when you remember it? did they understand why it was funny, or were they completely serious?

For my family, I wouldn't really call them a "normal" family due to neglect by one parent and abuse by the other parent. They failed in my educational needs during my school years while they focused on my eldest sibling's (not plural for sibling) which my eldest sibling then used this lack of education as some sort of ego booster until the say he realized I intended to go back to school so he beat me up and gave me brain damage.

My brain damage now caused me to self-defame myself as a convicted pedophile online which lead to unnecessary beatings from other people, unnecessary sackings, and a negative social stigma online.

I haven’t told anyone or even know if I’m having a boy or girl yet. We are gonna tell our parents tomorrow bc sil spilled the beans and we want to tell them before they find out from someone else. I know as soon as they find out they’re gonna start buying stuff, so I want to out together a little something bc i don’t want to get packed with a bunch of random stuff lol

My daughter is sweet, pretty, wants to be social but feels lonely a lot, loves music and is a recruited college lacrosse player. She has great, close camp friends and a couple of other random close friends. Her main problem is that she is always being left out whether it’s on her Club Lacrosse team and at the 2 high schools that she has attended. She has learning issues so maybe she doesn’t react as quickly. IDK what it is. She’s been going to therapy for years but she can’t break the cycle. Any thoughts?

I’ve been wondering about this situation in my family, and I genuinely want to understand how two children raised by the same parents can turn out so differently.

My uncle had two sons, whom I’ll call Akash (the elder son) and Aditya (the younger son).

Their parents treated both children equally. As far as I know, neither their father nor their mother showed favoritism. Their father was a quiet, intelligent, practical, and calculating man who didn’t talk unnecessarily and worked hard. The family was financially well-off.

The elder son, Akash:

Akash struggled academically and didn't seem interested in studying. He couldn't get into college on his own, so his father used the management quota to get him a seat at a college in Bangalore. Even then, Akash reportedly didn't take his studies seriously. His father worked overtime while trying to support his education, but Akash continued getting involved in fights and other troublesome activities.

As he grew older, he became increasingly distant from the family. He wouldn't tell relatives where he lived or what he was doing. I suspect he may have developed a gambling problem, although I'm not completely sure.

He's now in his 40s and has reportedly been involved in multiple police cases. Last year, he suddenly announced to the family that he was getting married. It was apparently a love marriage, and he claimed that the marriage had been registered at the registrar's office. However, we only knew about the reception, so I'm not entirely sure what actually happened.

This year, he allegedly took ₹5 lakh from the woman he claimed to be married to. She subsequently messaged relatives, accusing him of taking her money. At this point, some of us aren't even sure about the exact status of their relationship.

The younger son, Aditya:

Aditya, on the other hand, was academically bright and earned his college admission through his own merit. He is intelligent, hardworking, and quite similar to his father in terms of how he thinks, although he's much more extroverted and talkative.

He had an arranged marriage, followed his parents' advice, and now has a wife and a daughter. He seems to have built a relatively stable life for himself.

However, things became complicated when he got involved in his elder brother's problems. After some disagreements between the two brothers, Aditya told Akash not to come to his house because his wife and daughter live there. I assume he was trying to protect his family from whatever problems Akash might bring with him.

The sad part is that both their parents have passed away. Their father died around 10 years ago, and their mother around 6 years ago. Some relatives now say that if the parents were alive to see what happened to their elder son, they would be devastated.

What confuses me is that, from everything I've heard, their parents raised both sons equally. Their father worked hard for both of them, and neither child was deliberately treated as less important.

So, what went wrong?

- How can two children raised in the same household, with the same parents and similar opportunities, turn out so differently?

- Is parenting really enough to determine how a child turns out, or do personality, peer groups, personal choices, and other influences matter much more than we realize?

- Could the parents have unknowingly enabled the elder son's behaviour by continuing to help him financially and trying to secure his future despite his lack of effort?

- Is there a point where a parent can do everything right, but a child still makes destructive choices?

I'm not trying to label Akash as a bad person or claim that I know everything about his life and he is 26 years older than me. I'm genuinely trying to understand how such different outcomes can happen within the same family.

Can parents raise two children equally and do their best for both, yet still end up with one child who builds a stable life and another who seems to keep making destructive decisions? What factors could explain this?

Hello! My cousin is having a baby and I’m so excitedddd!!! I don’t want to have kids but I really want to help everyone in my family that will eventually have babies. Since she is the first since I’ve become an adult (24F), I would appreciate tips and helpful books about helping out and being the village.

I have pretty much zero baby experience apart from my baby sister but I was 10 lol and didnt do much.

I don’t live in the same city as her but I offered to stay a month next year to help out (is the best I can do with my job for now) and she accepted! So yeah, anything would be helpful 🙏🏻

(also was already planning to move to her city bc I want better life opportunities but I’m still sending CV’s and learning the language - Portugal to germany)

My brother who is 11, refuses to use deodorant, and we’ve come to learn that he hasn’t been using body wash when he showers (we’ve discovered this when we were checking to see if he needed a refill before going shopping) he’s a very active kid and spends most of his time outside rolling around in the dirt and sweating. Also he keeps having accidents at night (this was also discovered by us cleaning his bed sheets and discovering stains on the bedding and mattress) we know he why he doesn’t say anything about soiling the bed however we need to know when it does so we can give him clean bedding to sleep on. We’ve been consistently repeating the importance of hygiene and why it’s important but it seems as though talking to him isn’t working? I’m not sure what to do. (Also by we it’s me(f21) and our grandma(f62) the only male figure he’s had also had bad hygiene but he at least showered. The guy is no longer in the picture)

Update: today we discovered that he’s not only wetting the bed but he has been peeing in his trash can and in his dirty clothes basket. We’ll be mentioning this to both his doctor and therapist

Shes been struggling and missing a lot of school. She's never been open to talking about her feelings at all. I tell her I'm there for her and have forced her into therapy because we found a knife in the bathroom and she is missing a ton of school. I went to check if she was doing okay before bed and before I left she kept trying to get something out. After maybe 5 minutes of her trying to talk to me she asked if I remembered anything that happened when she was younger. I told her I don't think so and we left it at that for years. But this conversation still sticks out to me and makes me feel sick. Like maybe she wanted to see if I knew something happened. I have no idea. I've tried to talk to her but she doesn't even speak with me or her therapist. Should I be worried?

We bought our son (17) essentially a shitbox for his first car. It was a crv with almost 200k miles on it. Can you guess what happened to the crv within 2 MONTHS?

Engine went to shit. Obviously buying another engine for thousands isn’t a good idea. I feel bad because he was really starting to like the car and independence. We bought our eldest son a brand new car almost a decade ago and that one’s still holding up. I’m thinking maybe we should have just bought or 17 year old one as well. 4k down the drain.

Never buy your kid a shitbox if you have the money to buy a better car

How would you feel if your hypothetical daughter or son was pushing 30 and never talked about dating, crushes, never brought anyone home etc? What would you think or do?

Asking for myself as the 29F bisexual daughter who has never been in a relationship. I've gone on dates here and there but gave up on dating apps about two years ago. I have an all consuming job so trying to meet someone outside of work is nearly impossible. And I'm not interested in mixing work and dating.

Some context: I've never ever talked about dating or sexuality with my parents as a child or adult, I've always struggled to make and keep friends, I'm not very attractive so I don't get asked out irl except for twice in my entire life years ago.

My parents aren't conservative but we never talked about dating or sex but I think they were expecting me to find someone once I went to college but that obviously never happened.

I'm curious to know what parents would think if you had an adult child like me.

Hi everyone. I'm posting here as a worried older sister because I genuinely don't know where else to turn. My little brother is 14 years old and in high school. I know he's a good person. He's incredibly kind, humble, and has a good heart. But he's also very irresponsible and impulsive. He constantly gets himself into situations he shouldn't be in, and he rarely thinks about the consequences of his actions. Recently, he went with our dad to a family gathering at a friend's house. At some point, our dad left him there and went home. During that time, my brother ended up doing drugs. I only know about this because my brother trusts me enough to tell me things, and he told me what happened. Apparently, someone who uses drugs showed up at the gathering. This person and another man took my 14 year old brother into the bathroom and told him to snort some white powder. I don't even know what he&& that substance was. They also gave him a mar&@uana vape.

And I just keep thinking, why on earth would anyone give drugs to a child? What kind of adult thinks that's okay? I had absolutely no idea my brother was being exposed to people like this. There's also something else that makes this situation complicated.

In the past, I caught my brother in a private situation involving another boy. I kept it a secret because our parents are somewhat homophobic, and I didn't think telling them would accomplish anything other than hurting my brother unnecessarily.

I want to be a good older sister. I want him to feel safe with me, and I don't want him to go through things that could hurt him just because the adults around him don't know how to handle certain situations.

I would gladly keep his personal secrets, but this time feels completely different. This isn't about him having feelings for another boy or exploring who he is. This is about his safety, his health, and potentially his life.

I love my parents. They're good people who work hard and give us the best they can. But they genuinely don't know how to handle situations like this. Their approach to parenting is very old-fashioned, and they can be extremely closed-minded.

I'm almost certain that if I tell them what happened, it won't turn into a calm conversation about helping my brother. It'll become a huge family conflict, and I'm afraid things will only get worse.

We're also immigrants, and where we come from, drugs are a particularly serious and heavily stigmatized subject. This makes me even more worried about how my parents would react.

But I'm only 18 years old. I'm barely figuring out my own life, and I have absolutely no idea how I'm supposed to handle something this serious.

I'm scared for my brother.

I don't want to lose his trust. If something like this ever happens again, I want him to know he can come to me. I want him to feel comfortable telling me things instead of hiding them because he's afraid of getting in trouble.

And the truth is, we're not even those super close, affectionate siblings you see in movies. We're very different people, and we don't always get along. But despite that, I know he trusts me. He chose to tell me something like this, probably because he knows I've protected his privacy before.

That means a lot to me.

But I also know I can't protect him from everything, especially something as dangerous as this.

I'm also deeply disturbed by the fact that adults were willing to take a 14-year-old into a bathroom and give him an unknown substance. I don't know whether he felt pressured or how much he actually understood about what he was taking.

I don't want to punish him. I want to protect him, and I want him to understand how serious this is.

I just don't know what to do.

Should I tell my parents even if it means losing his trust? Should I try talking to him myself first? Is there a better way to involve an adult without making everything worse?

If you're a parent, an older sibling, or someone who has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate your advice.

I love my little brother, and I'm terrified of making the wrong decision.

I wonder if anyone has any info on this. I came across a post about how high achieving and straight A student are likely to grow up with more negative experiences of parenthood. The post was about motherhood specifically. The rough explanation before my feed updated and the post disappeared was that the brain is wired for deadlines and a result/ external validation to confirm performance or something along these lines. I have had struggles with motherhood ever since my child was born 13 years ago. I was awarded 4 scholarships and recently completed my PhD. I am wonder what the relationship between these two could be. I wonder if anyone has more info on this?

Im 17 and my suitemates bf is 23 I feel uncomfortable sleeping in a suite with a man I know nothing about when the doors don't lock. They often keep me up at night talking and screaming and when I try and address it she gets rude and says its college I need to get used to it and then cursed me out to her bf saying its my fualt. I need a way to tell her you can't bring your bf bc when you agreed to get a single and to live with a minor the rules say you must ask me before any overnight guests and I can kick them out at any time. Do you guys know a gentle way to tell her we need to set overnight boundaries before I bring in a ra.

I'm part of a local parent group that mainly exists to connect parents and their kids, so the little ones can have friends. A new dad joined our group after moving from the US to our country. He is a single father to 3 girls, 3 and 1 year old twins. While introducing himself, he mentioned that he had his daughters via surrogacy after breaking up with his fiancé. My wife and I didn't think much of it, but apparently some other parents in the group find it odd that he would choose to be a single parent, and also choose to have daughters, as gender specific IVF is allowed in the US. There have been discussions why he wouldn't just find another person to start a family with, or why he would choose daughters over sons. One dad has gone as far as saying he might have ulterior motives for wanting daughters. I really don't understand this. They don't even know him and he seems to be a good dad, from what I've seen so far. Why would we immediately assume the worst about this man? Is it really so strange for a man to want to be a single parent and have daughters?

Just for some context- my 15-year-old son’s a pretty good kid. He normally doesn’t give me any problems and is respectful. He can definitely be lazy and lacks motivation but nothing that I can’t manage. He’s an average student. He doesn’t fail anything, but he doesn’t do fantastic either. Lately he’s been hanging out with more friends and doing more social activities. His father got him an E bike because all of his other friends had E bikes and it makes it easier for him to go and hang out with them and ride around the town etc. ( we are divorced and he stayed at his dads this past weekend) This past weekend, he went to two sleepovers in a row, and when I checked the Life360 app, it showed that he rode his bike to a convenient store on a major hwy in the middle of the night with his friends. I made it very clear to him I don’t want him on the bike at night because of safety concerns. I plan to talk with him about this and obviously there needs to be some type of consequence. I’m just curious for those of you parenting teen boys, how much leeway do you give them to learn life lessons and find themselves while also enforcing rules within the home and keeping them safe. I know to some degree, This is probably normal for teen boys, but I’m still learning and navigating this so I’m just curious how other people would handle it. Thanks.

I’m 9 months pp right now and considering one and done, it’s just now starting to get easier and i can’t imagine starting over again. Will i change my mind later on? I always wanted two before i had a baby