I'm turning a new age this year, and I've been thinking a lot about how isolated I've become. I haven't had any reallife friends in four years... soon to be 5 if this year ends the same way. I've never had a girlfriend or experienced a romantic relationship. I stopped attending in-person school after 9th grade, and since then, my social life has become practically nonexistent.

I rarely go out unless there's a specific reason. When I do leave the house, it's usually to go to a park, and I tend to go early in the morning or at quieter times so there aren't many people around. I'm comfortable being there by myself, but I don't really go out alone to places like stores or other crowded public places.

My mom is one of the main reasons I leave the house, and I usually feel more comfortable going places with her or my older brother. I don't go to parties, social gatherings, or places where I'd have to interact with a lot of people.

I've never been to what people call a "party." I've never been to any school football games or extracurricular activity. I forgot what it feels like to have friends.

The strange thing is that I don't even know how much of this is anxiety, how much is avoidance, and how much has become a habit after spending so long isolated. I've gotten used to being alone, but I also feel like I've missed out on a lot of things people my age experience naturally, like friendships, relationships, and simply having a normal social life.

I've developed a lot of hatred and a lack of empathy. I'm apathetic. I'm so deep into isolation that all I can imagine is dying alone. I can't imagine ever having a girlfriend, yet alone going out with friends. I can't imagine myself being married or ever being important to someone outside of my family.

Hello I'm currently hoping I can find some friends because I'm pretty lonely. I do have a husband, but he works alot.

I'm 24 and a woman. I enjoy gaming. I play peak, bg3, roblox, DBD, phas, and pretty much any game that looks fun. I'm not great at gaming though so don't expect a skilled teammate.

I'm also not officially diagnosed with agoraphobia, but that's because I'm too scared to find a doctor. My anxiety is extreme so I thought maybe joining this subreddit would help out.

I also got out of a really bad friendship towards the beginning of the year so I'm still hurting from that, but I'm healing and really just want to talk to new people.

If anyone is interested DM or let me know.

Like genuinely I dont even know where to start so this might be messy, sorry in advance lmao

I have a hard time looking people in their eyes when having a conversation

Sometimes severe anxiety in public places

I dont go outside because it feels dangerous and it feels like I might die even though I know I most likely wont.

I can only find the bad things in good things

I get sad when I see someone happy, not because theyre happy but because it will be over soon for them. Especially with disabled people. I see a disabled person look incredibly happy and I will feel sad because "they dont know how bad they truly have it"

I can DESPITE someone like truly hate them hurt them in my mind over and over again, and the MOMENT they do or say the slightest nice thing to me. I feel bad for them instantly as if they are the best person alive at that moment. While there were very reasonable reasons to hate those people.

I feel bad to get in peoples way in ANY way shape or form. I could be very annoyed at something or someone and still be very passive to the situation just to not look like a horrible pissed of person.

I 90% prioritize others over myself.

When theres something I dont like to do, have an appointment somewhere I can literally count the days and its gonna be on my mind untill I have to go there and it feels like a timer.

Public transport is hell.

I feel looked at even though I KNOW I am not.

I feel like im in danger even though I KNOW I am not.

I always feel like the odd person out in any group.

When people offer me stuff I 90% of the time cant accept it purely because I feel bad and sad for them they want to give me something.

Most of these issues get less when I am not alone, so lets say im outside with my gf I feel better but not how it "should feel"

And the weirdest thing of this list is, sometimes I have days where NONE of these are even a thing.

Also might be good to mention that I have struggled with seborrheic dermatitis. Luckily not as bad as some people have it but still very painful and just not nice in general. And yes the pain gets worse when I am in public because public = stress = stress = pain (sebderm symptom)

Idk man I just dont feel normal right now and I just wanted to put this somewhere, maybe someone says something lifechanging you know... :)

Anyone have this condition then when you actually go out, being around people is like shocking and overwhelming?

Unfortunately I’ve dealt with anxiety for as long as I can remember but from the age of 11 it has caused me to be physically sick countless times (both in public and at home). This has made me more fearful of leaving the house to the point where I can go months without leaving unless it’s a medical appointment (the anxiety/ stress has caused stomach ulcers and other issues that worsen the sickness) and led to me quitting my job from the mental and physical toll.

The last time I was in hospital was about 2 months ago and it was an extremely traumatic time as the Manometry test caused me to gag and throw up after already being sick with fear all day to which I still haven’t recovered from. This next test is another endoscopy so I need a IV put in place which triggers my other fear of needles and that leads to vomiting and passing out. I feel like I’m stuck in an endless loop of being violently ill and no matter how often I try to explain it to medical professionals that it feels like I have permanent flu or food poisoning, they look at me like I’m exaggerating until I genuinely vomit, I’m not sure if I can go through with tomorrow because I don’t think I can even get past the car park of the hospital. The humiliation of being sick and terrified makes me want to crawl into a hole and never leave. If I miss this though I might be taken off the list for help and I’m back to square one and a hell of a lot sicker than I was to begin with, I genuinely already don’t want to leave the house but this is just the most afraid and trapped I’ve ever felt. Not sure what else to do so if there’s any recommendations regarding hospitals or emetophobia please let me know, I’m so tired of the suffering.

Sorry for the rant but thank you if you’ve read it x

Hi, sorry if anyone can relate to this situation because it’s awful, but am wondering how other people have managed to rebuild their lives?

I ended up having a breakdown after the way I was treated at work, and then sacked for my sickness absence. I’m really struggling to get back on my feet, I’ve got no money but a mortgage to pay, no friends or family around and am struggling to come to terms with the loss of my career that, after this experience, I will never return to. The whole situation makes me so sad, and so angry.

My mental health has been so badly affected, I have no idea how to start again. My confidence is gone, I have panic attacks when I leave the house (which is not very often), I rarely see or speak to anyone, and I have no idea how I’m supposed to find another job in this state.

If anyone has any encouragement or things that have helped them get back on their feet and be able to face going outside again, I’d be really grateful

I am going to be stuck at home the next couple of days, and often I’m home over the weekends. I find myself getting bored easily.