I think you should decide what kind of person you want to be and not let other people prevent you from being that person. I choose to be a kind person, and no one being disrespectful is going to take that away from me.
Only to a certain extent but don't give them your energy. Sometimes it's a case of who might work with disrespect unfortunately, and they could be your boss and stuff like that. Just don't allow the disrespect to keep on going on. Also you don't have to be nice all the time and to everybody sometimes people are just pricks and need a telling offš, this is coming from a people pleaser so yah sometimes be very unnice, omg I am just repeating the same thing you have been told šš
Be disrespectful to the one that told you to be nice to everyone and be nice to the one that said not to be nice. See how they respond and make your judgment call š
Jesus gives us the answer. Turn the other cheek as long as youāre not physically getting hurt. Forgive all verbal offenses and treat others as you would like to be treated. You can defend yourself but donāt take revenge on your enemies rather love them. And leave the vengeance to God whom will both protect and have revenge on your part. Even unto death.
If the other person disrespects your for a stupid reason, just ignore them - you don't need them in your life.
If they disrespect you for a good reason - don't try to win their respect but think about the reason and if it is something you should change.
Never ever change for another person, if the person isn't yourself.
Because that's not true lasting change and the probability of you using it against them is too damn high.
u/Equivalent-Dig7259 says that I should be nice to everybody, even those that disrespect me.
This is a way to make the disrespecter look bad, as it is their behavior and the public impression that affects the perspective of society of them. It also takes the power out of the disrespecters hands, so long as you have boundaries. That is where it becomes a problem if your too nice, you become a door mat that they trample and wipe their shoes all over you. This is where approach 2 is important Where you make sure to set boundaries where you don't tolerate disrespectful behavior.
The second approach
But u/Resonable_Owl_9180 says that I shouldn't be nice to those that disrespect me.
Just cuts people out for peace of mind, and holds boundaries where you do not tolerate disrespectful people. The problem here is that you may at some point be in an unavoidable situation like a nuisance co worker where you need to deal with them. This is where option one is important.
Ohhh. Its abt discernment, baybe. And that has alll to do w boundaries, how well you know yourself. If you think feel smth is past salvaging, be firm, have clear boundaries, disengage etc. If you think amends can be made, and truly salvaging is possible - do that, man, go ahead, we try and learn.
If you want to learn more - i so so recommend and adore her videos.
"Be nice to those who disrespect you" means shaking your head at a rude person, saying "Goodness. Well I hope you have a wonderful day" and walking away to preserve your peace.
It does not mean continuing to engage with someone (even if they're close, even if they're a friend or family, etc) when they use, disrespect, or unfairly burden you.
The difference is to be nice, without being a doormat.
Thereās a difference between being kind and being nice. Learn the difference by observing those around you that you respect and whether you are the cause of or just a target for their emotions. If someone is overwhelmed and takes it out on you, it isnāt really about you. Kindness means more than niceness. And kindness also means protecting, including yourself. Much love
Iāve regretted not being nice to people who disrespected me, because while they disrespected me in that moment, the relationship was probably still repairable.
But Iāve also regretted being nice to people who disrespected me, because I let them walk all over me and let them disrespect me without saying anything back.
My true advice would be, donāt ākeep the peaceā unless you want to. Thereāve been so many times Iāve ākept the peaceā for otherās comfort and, you know what, Iāve regretted it every time. Say what you have to say. Not screaming or cursing someone out. But āyou did this and that wasnāt right.ā Honestly, it probably wonāt fix it, but at least you created space to be heard.
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u/prutprit 8h ago edited 45m ago
u/Equivalent-Dig7259 says that I should be nice to everybody, even those that disrespect me.
But u/Reasonable_Owl_9180 says that I shouldn't be nice to those that disrespect me.
WHAT DO I DO