Big one. Every other day I see a post from a man saying “M25 I’m never going to find someone” and their post goes on to imply that their happiness is fully dependent on finding a woman. I get it, it’s an irreplaceable feeling to be loved and have someone to share your life with. But relying on that as the sole reason for your happiness is setting your whole life up for failure. There’s so much more to life and you have to do at least SOME work to heal your emotional wounds yourself before dating or else no one will even want to date you.
I say this as someone who felt like finding a girlfriend would be the only thing that could change things for me back when I was a depressed teen. Community and purpose helped me a lot in my early 20s, even if I fell
Back into dark times a few years later. I love my partner but putting all that on her to be my crutch would be unfair. She’s supportive but I learned it’s not on the people I date to heal me
Yeah, you will eventually hate each other if this is the path you choose. I see it happen constantly, with both people looking for that validation from the other when the reality is whatever they’re looking for is inside of them.
Whatever wounds you carry need to be understood by you, before you attach to another person.
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u/hemanstarfox 13h ago edited 12h ago
Stop viewing women as the pathway to your having your emotional wounds healed