Take an active role in your own life - I spent my 20s blowing around on the wind; letting my partners make the big decisions, following them for their career opportunities, and generally just being a rolling stone. I was so directionless and ultimately both of those relationships broke down, and left me even more adrift. It was terrible for my self esteem and took me a long time to recover from. It wasn’t until I got my shit together at 28 and took the reins of what I wanted to do with my life that I started to feel in control of my own destiny.
Especially when what you actually want to do falls outside of the usual career choices - my school essentially told me I was being ridiculous when I said I wanted to work in the music industry. Fast forward 22 years and I run my own music PR agency :)
There are basically an infinite set of different jobs out there. It is hard to see what is possible at all times, but especially when you are young. I feel like the options I was presented with were either most most mundane bullshit imaginable or out of this world hard to obtain roles. Basically, do you want to hang drywall because you probably won't be a movie star.
I was never really shown the countless positions that are interesting but slightly niche. Like all the jobs that go into movie production other than lead actors. Or all the different jobs within the music industry (or audio more generally) other than 'Rock-Star'.
Now I know people doing all kinds of cool shit that I would have never even thought of.
There are a ton of jobs that aren't common that you can get a basic understanding of and research online. My family acted like being in the trades was beneath me and that I was an idiot for going into a narrow field.
Now they ask me for advice and how to fix their cars, houses, and to review contractor bids. The same people that looked down on my aspirations now have celebrations at my house! My family is proud of me but it would have been a mistake to take their advice.
There is a large span between engineer and mouth-breather with a hammer. I found a career solving problems in the field. I'm glad I'm not stuck in an office all day. Doing a 3 year technical program in my late 20's completely changed my trajectory and opened a lot of doors.
People have asked me how I got to where I am. I have gone from the bottom and I have reach a fairly senior level because I am constantly asking myself what do I need to learn or change to be better than I was yesterday.
When I was 20 I managed to land a steady job at a large company as an apprentice. I foolishly trusted and thought that they would have development plans for us. I realised in my early 20's that the 'performance review' were just that, a performance for HR. No one else was going to push me to be better, it was all on me.
Since then I have actively worked on my own development. I have completed 2 degrees and am working on my third, not because anyone told me to, I wanted to. I took short courses on professional writing, excel, communication, finance etc. because those were areas where I recognized my own short comings to my own metrics and acted to correct those.
Many people are waiting for someone else to tell them what they need to change or develop.
Many people are waiting for someone else to identify growth opportunities.
Too many people hand control of their future and happiness to someone else.
Tips? Im 32 and trying but honestly i kinda feel like im not fit for this world. Im finishing a whatever course in CC, which I like, but getting a job is hard af.
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u/Mammoth-Cherry-2995 12h ago
Take an active role in your own life - I spent my 20s blowing around on the wind; letting my partners make the big decisions, following them for their career opportunities, and generally just being a rolling stone. I was so directionless and ultimately both of those relationships broke down, and left me even more adrift. It was terrible for my self esteem and took me a long time to recover from. It wasn’t until I got my shit together at 28 and took the reins of what I wanted to do with my life that I started to feel in control of my own destiny.