I am a thirty year old marketing manager, and I have been married to my husband for two years. We have a four month old baby girl, and until recently I thought my relationship with my mother in law was fine, even if she was a bit controlling. She always said she wanted us to be one big happy family, and I believed her. Three weeks ago my husband’s cousin let something slip at a barbecue. She said she was happy to see the “old gang” back together at the last family dinner, and when I asked what she meant, she went pale and said I should ask my mother in law. I did not want to cause a scene, so I quietly went through the family group photos, and there she was in three different pictures from the last six months. She was my husband’s ex girlfriend, the one he was with for four years before me, standing right next to my mother in law, smiling, with her arm around her. I was not invited to any of those dinners, because each time I was told it was just a small gathering and the baby needed rest. When I showed my husband the photos he looked sick, and he told me honestly that he had no idea. He had been told the dinners were only for the older relatives, and he had skipped most of them because of work. I confronted my mother in law calmly on the phone, and instead of apologising she said the ex was “like a daughter” to her, that she had never liked how fast we got married, and that she had only been keeping the door open in case things did not work out between us. I told her that was disrespectful to me, to my husband and to our daughter, and that she was no longer welcome in our home until she apologised properly and stopped contacting the ex about family matters. She cried, called me dramatic and insecure, and said I was keeping her granddaughter away from her over some photos. Now my husband’s aunts and two of his cousins are messaging me saying I am tearing the family apart, and one of them said I should be grateful my mother in law helps with the baby at all. Yesterday my mother in law sent a message saying she is coming to our house on Sunday with the whole family and that we will “settle this properly once and for all”, and she has also hinted that she knows something about me that my husband should hear. I honestly have no idea what she means, but my husband says he is standing with me and that he will not open the door. So am I the hero here for protecting my marriage and my daughter, or am I the asshole for cutting off my mother in law over a few photos? What do you think, am I the hero or the AITH? I will post an update next week if people want to know what happens.

My mother passed away two years ago after a long battle with illness. Before she passed, she gave me a set of four traditional gold bangles that had belonged to our grandmother. She explicitly told me, in front of my father, that these were for me to keep, as she had already gifted my elder sister her main jewelry set during her engagement years prior.

Fast forward to two months ago: my sister is preparing for her wedding ceremony. While discussing expenses and jewelry with my father and her fiancé’s family, she realized she wanted more traditional pieces to match her bridal outfit. She came to my room and asked if she could borrow our mother's bangles for the main event.

Because of the high emotional value of the bangles, I was hesitant. I agreed to let her wear them for the wedding day only, on the condition that she would return them immediately the next morning. She agreed.

However, three days before the wedding, I overheard my sister talking to her mother-in-law on the phone, saying that I gave her mum's bangles as a gift for the wedding, so they are part of her permanent jewelry now.

I was shocked. When I confronted her privately later that evening, she got defensive. She said that as the elder daughter, she had a greater right to our mother's legacy, and that since I am currently single and not planning to marry anytime soon, leaving such valuable items with me is a waste. She refused to promise that she would return them after the event.

Seeing that she had no intention of returning them, I took the bangles and locked them in a private bank locker the next morning.

When my sister found out the bangles were no longer in the house, she exploded. She called me selfish, cold-hearted, and accused me of trying to ruin her special day out of jealousy. My father is also upset with me; he says that even if my sister was wrong to claim them permanently, I should have just let her wear them for the day to keep the peace and prevent drama in front of her new in-laws. Now, half of the family is calling me bitter and heartless for creating tension right before her big day.

I miss my mother terribly, and holding onto those bangles is one of the few physical connections I have left to her memory. But the guilt and family backlash are making me second-guess myself.

AITA for putting my late mother's bangles in a bank locker and refusing to let my sister wear them after finding out she intended to keep them?

For context my family has just moved so finances are tight. My step dad went ahead first (with no money) to set the house up but he didn't have food because he had no money so my mom asked me how much I had (I recently got paid) k told her and she asked if I could send him money for food. I did because I didn't want my step dad to starve and I wasn't even using it.

We moved to a state sixteen hours away and drove there so i also paid for gas and food for my siblings (I have three) all of which I don't mind. I don't want them to starve or us to be stuck on the side of the road plus she always pays me back.

This week she said she needed some money didn't tell me why but I sent it. Then I asked her if she could take me to get some food it was farther than I thought and money was tight so when she asked for gas money I gave it to her.

Yesterday she needed me to cover some of her food when we were grocery shopping.

Then what's the problem ill tell you today my mom asked if I had money I told her yes she then said she needed money for my step dads medicine I said okay she then asked if I needed to offer my money up instead of I see they're having a hard time of her having to ask. Which I don't think I do its my money I don't have to give it to you. I do because you need it. Its a nicety not a need. I know you have money you showed me your THREE separate savings account. Anyways AITAH and i just need to offer my money to my parents. (Also i do say them because lately I have been buying my own things and rarely use theirs so I am paying for their things not mine)

Edit: Yall im a minor

Hello everyone long time lurker first time poster on a throwaway.

I (39M) and my (38F) wife have a son who I'll refer to as Austin(17M). My son is a great kid. He is a straight A student (all AP classes), works part time and does all his chores around the house and sometimes extras and rarely complains. Austin is really into MMOs and spends a lot of his free time playing them with his friends. I don't mind this as like I stated above he does everything he's supposed to do and then some.

My wife on the other hand is very nit picky with him. She doesn't understand why he wants to play videos games instrad of hanging out with girls or go to the movies, mall, etc. Austin has told her before he's just not interested in all of that and he has time before he goes to college and maybe dates a girl. She doesn't get it and always tells me in private that she hopes he's not gay. (For the record we are a very progressive household) she says this cause he is our only child and she wants grandkids.(even though gay couples can adopt and I've told her this many times) She's always hounding him over this and even offered to introduce him to some daughters for her friends/coworkers. I can tell this bothers him.

A couple days ago my son came to me and told me he needed to tell me something. He said he isnt gay but he doesnt have feelings for girls or boys. That he is Asexual/Aromantic. I told him I didnt care cause hes my son and all I want is for him to be happy and comfortable. He told me he wanted me to tell his mom this cause he doesn't wanna deal with her and what she could possibly say. I said okay I will

Fast forward today. My son was at work and I told my wife. Needless to say she exploded. Saying he's just confused. How does he know if he never dated a girl. And that she was gonna talk to him and how she's hurt he didn't tell her.

I told her point blank: this is why. This is why he doesn't tell you anything. Every single thing is about you and what makes you happy. You've been on his ass for years about the lack of partner and never once thought for a second about him. That the reason he doesn't talk to her is cause all she does is complain and be judgmental. She doesn't want to understand him. She wants to control him in that way. I told her to leave him alone and if I find out she tries to "convince" him he just hasn't given love a chance I'm gonna be really upset with her.

She got angry and called me an asshole and said I coddle him and now we will never have grandkids. She hasn't talked much to my son since he's been home and giving me the cold shoulder. AITAH? I just want to support my son. I don't care what his sexuality is or lack there of. I just want him to be happy.

Edit: I know this is a very long post but my son TOLD me to tell her. I did NOT go behind his back.

I’m 26F, my coworker Lisa is 30F. We work retail and usually cover each other’s shifts when someone has an emergency. We had an unspoken agreement to help each other out.

Last month, my grandma suddenly fell and was sent to hospital. I texted Lisa three days in advance, begging her to take my Saturday shift so I could visit my family. She replied she had plans and refused. I had no choice but to skip the hospital trip and work that day. I was really upset, but I didn’t argue with her.

Now Lisa needs me to cover her Sunday shift. Her friend got concert tickets she bought months ago. She messaged me, saying it’s a once-in-a-lifetime show and I should help her. I told her I couldn’t do it. I explained that when I had a family emergency, she turned me down. I don’t feel obligated to help her for a non-urgent event.

Lisa got mad. She said I was petty and holding a grudge. She told our team I was being uncooperative. A few coworkers said I should help keep the team friendly.

I feel conflicted. I know team harmony matters, and covering shifts is normal. But it stings that she wouldn’t help me during a real family emergency, yet expects me to drop my plans for a concert. AITAH?

My neighbor and I don't know each other that well. We started chatting on social media as we were both part of the neighborhood watch group a few years ago.

We exchange pleasantries and wave when our cars pass, they live down the road from me, both of us in houses.

My husband and I have grown adult kids of our own. Our neighbor has three kids, one grown and flown and two newer children under 6 with her husband.

We don't spend time with these folks socially or do much other than chat re neighborhood things when they come up.

The other day my neighbor messaged me and asked if I would be her child's emergency contact for school. They explained that their family and friends were all long distance and that they had cut off other family so wanted to know if I would be okay being put down as a last resort. In the moment, I didn't see much harm in doing so and like to be helpful so I told them that I would be okay being a contact, but reminded them that I work full time and my commute is two hours away for time to get back to this area.

Now that I have had time to think about it, I'm wondering why they don't have people they've formed relationships with in the school world to be able to ask for this. I also don't have any type of bond or relationship with them or their kids and am feeling uncomfortable with this commitment I've made.

Am I an asshole for considering taking back my commitment to being an emergency contact? The more I think about it, the less comfortable I am with doing it, especially considering that I work so far from home, I can't just look at my manager and say hey, my neighbors kid is sick and I need to go get them.

I truly feel like a prick for saying yes and now wanting to change my mind. What would be some kind ways to say "hey, I think I messed up in committing to this?"

I’m 19 and still live at home with my parents and my 14-year-old brother. I have my own car and work four evenings a week at a coffee shop, usually until 10. Back when his soccer practices were on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I offered to drive him those days because I was off and it lined up. Nobody asked me to. I just said I could do it.

Last week the coach moved practice to Wednesdays and Fridays. My parents told me about it after the fact and said I should just keep driving him. I said those are my work days now and I need the car to get to my shift. They said I’m basically free in the evenings anyway and that it’s not a big deal. I told them I’m not free, I have a job, and I can’t just switch my days around because the schedule changed.

My mom said I’m being selfish and that I used to be happy to help. My dad said if I’m living here I should still contribute, and driving him is the least I can do. I pointed out that I offered when I actually had the time, and that nobody cleared the new days with me. They acted like I was backing out of something we all agreed on.

I’m still driving him the old days when I can, but I’m not rearranging my work schedule or giving up my car on nights I have a shift. They’re still bringing it up and saying I don’t want to help the family anymore. AITA for saying no to the new days?

Aitah for thinking about divorce after just 5 years of marriage? My husband and I have been together since 10th grade off and on, and are 35 & 36 now with a 3 year old daughter. We both love each other very much or so I thought and have a pretty peaceful life so far. However, for the last 3 years at least, I've noticed a steady decline in the overall attentiveness in him. When we first got married he was a protector and provider. Always made sure he did his little bit or chores around the house (takes the trash out), always made sure the doors were locked and the alarm was on before we went to bed. I felt comfortable and safe. But now, he just falls asleep. I'm always left putting our daughter to bed alone. He just rolls the opposite way and goes to bed leaving me hanging almost every night. Lights on, alarm off, his empty dinner plate still sitting there...it's like he literally doesn't care. I feel like I'm taking care of 2 children. When I went into labor with our daughter he thought he was necessary to stop and take the trash out WHILE I WAS IN ACTIVE LABOR before we left for the hospital. Now? He waits until it's spilling onto the floor before he even thinks about it. I had to sit here crying for him to come up with a plan with me on how we can catch up on our mortgage after being almost 90 days past due because he literally just stopped paying it (he paid majority and I add to it). No conversation...nothing. He just stopped paying it and gave me excuses every time I brought it up.

It's almost impossible to have a conversation with him about how I feel without him getting defensive, and nothing ever changes so I just stay quiet. He always apologizes and tells me he'll change whenever I talk about how I feel but it NEVER happens. Our entire relationship has been this way. He doesn't listen until I'm already one foot out of the door. But I truly don't feel like I have a partner anymore. I don't feel like a wife. And I don't feel like a married couple. Just a maid. AITAH?

I (27M) work in a corporate office. Our team is 5 people - me, Arthur (30M), George (35M) our boss, Mike (28M) aka Henry / Harry, and James (29M). Jack (27M) is also in our team, hybrid.

We had a client deliverable last Friday. The reporting part was Arthur's responsibility, my part was already done and sent on Wednesday. Mike and James know because I shared it in our group.

On Friday Arthur missed his deadline. He didn't send the report to the client. The client emailed George complaining.

Later that day in our team group chat with me, Arthur, Mike, James and Jack - George asked "what happened with the deadline?" Arthur wrote "We missed it because [my name] didn't send his part on time, I was waiting for him".

That was a complete lie. My part was done Wednesday. I have proof.

I was shocked. I replied in the same group chat "Mike / Harry you saw right, I sent my part Wednesday? Arthur can you explain why you are saying I missed the deadline? Reporting was your part and you missed it Friday. Why are you telling the team I missed it?"

George then checked the group and saw I sent my part on Wednesday. Arthur had no answer and just said "oh maybe I got confused".

Now Arthur is saying I embarrassed him in front of the whole team and I should have asked him privately. He told Mike and Jack that I was trying to make him look bad in front of George. Jack thinks I should have messaged Arthur privately first. Mike (Harry) says I did right to clear my name in front of everyone since Arthur lied in front of everyone.

I feel like if you lie about me in the team group, I have the right to ask you to explain in the same team group.

AITA for asking him to explain in front of the team?

I am a thirty two year old electrician, and I have a younger brother who is twenty seven. For six years I worked overtime almost every weekend to save a deposit for my first house, and I was close to buying a small place I could afford. Last month my brother lost his warehouse job and asked me to lend him eight thousand pounds for rent and debts. I told him honestly that it was my house deposit and I could not give it, but I offered him my spare room for free, groceries, and help with his CV and job applications. He said that was not enough and that real family would help with money. A week later my mum called me in tears, saying he told her I was sitting on a pile of cash and refusing to help my own brother. Two of my uncles also said I could buy a house later but he needed help now. I went to his flat unannounced with some food, and I saw a brand new gaming console and expensive trainers still in the box. When I asked about them he said he deserved to treat himself after the stress. I told him I would not lend a penny until he showed me his bank statements and a repayment plan, and he shouted that I was controlling and blocked my number. Yesterday he posted online that some people care more about bricks and mortar than their own blood, and relatives have been commenting on it. This morning my mum messaged that he has something to tell me and wants everyone to meet on Saturday, and she told me to bring my savings account details so we can sort it out as a family. I have no idea what he is planning, but I am not bringing anything. So am I the hero here for protecting the savings I worked six years for, or am I the asshole for refusing to help my brother when he said he was desperate? What do you think, am I the hero or the AITH? I will post an update after Saturday if people want to know what happens.

I (29F) live in an apartment building, and my neighbor Mrs. Alvarez (60s) has watered my plants whenever I travel for work. I never asked her to do more than that. She is very kind, and we have always been on good terms. Last week I came back from a two-week trip and noticed that my plants looked healthier than when I left. I thought nothing of it until I saw that my fiddle leaf fig, which I had been trying to save for almost two years, was gone. In its place was a brand new one in a nicer pot. My old pothos and my herb pots had also been swapped for new ones. When I asked her about it, she told me, very proudly, that some of them “were not doing well” so she replaced them to surprise me. She said she has done this a few times before and I never noticed. I was upset. That fiddle leaf fig was a gift from my late grandmother’s garden. It was ugly and half-dead, but it was important to me. I told her, politely but firmly, that I did not want anyone replacing my plants and that I would rather have a dying plant that is mine than a perfect one that is not. She became very quiet and said she was only trying to help. Since then, she has not said hello to me in the hallway, and another neighbor told me she was “hurt” by how I reacted. I understand she meant well, and she spent her own money on these plants. But she also decided something was hers to change without asking me. I have not been rude to her, but I have also not apologized. So, AITH?

I (30F) have been best friends with Dana (30F) since we were eleven. She’s getting married in October and I am one of her six bridesmaids. Dana has a very specific vision. Her wedding theme is 1920s Hollywood glam and she has decided that all bridesmaids must wear the same short platinum blonde wig during the ceremony and photos. She already ordered them and sent a group chat photo, along with a rule that no one can wear their natural hair underneath, because she wants a perfectly uniform look. I have thick, curly hair that I’ve worked hard to love and take care of. I also have a sensitive scalp and the last time I wore a cheap costume wig for a Halloween party, I broke out in a rash. I told Dana this and offered to wear a hair accessory in the same style or have my hair professionally set in vintage waves instead. She said, It’s all or nothing. If you can’t commit to the look, maybe you should not be in the wedding party. I was hurt, so I replied that I’d step down as a bridesmaid but still attend as a guest and support her. Now two of the other bridesmaids are messaging me saying I am being dramatic and making Dana’s day about me. Dana has stopped replying and her mom texted me that I am throwing away a twenty year friendship over a wig. I really do love Dana, but I feel like my comfort and my health were dismissed. Was I wrong to step down? So, AITH?

I work as a teacher aide in a little rural town school 3 days a week. The school is a great place to work, close knit community, kids are well behaved and staff get along well with everyone.
I found out last week that my 3 days per week are essentially gone for next year, due to budget constraints (apparently) But lately I’ve been getting the feeling that because I’m not a “local” of the area and haven’t been working there all that long, that I’m the easy one on the chopping block. This is despite them saying how much they would like to keep me around - even when I complete my teaching degree early next year, or get a permission to teach early. As it stands I don’t currently have a job lined up for next year, and after the shit year of living on the edge of being broke and homeless whilst trying to raise our baby daughter, my mental health has suffered horribly where I have lost the ability to care about certain things.

I now head to work today, knowing I have 19 days left until the end of year. And I’m here thinking “why should I give a f\*\*k about it now?” AITAH for thinking this? Or should I just push through and keep it all bottled up?

I (27M) work in a marketing agency. Our team is 5 people - me, Arthur (31M), George (35M) our boss, Henry (28M) and James (29M). Jack (27M) is also in our team, hybrid.

About 3 months ago Arthur asked me for a "small favor". He said he had a family emergency and asked if I could handle his client reporting for 2-3 days. I said yes, because we are a team.

But after that he never took it back. That small favor became my daily work. Every day I have to do my own work PLUS Arthur's client reporting which takes like 1-2 hours. I told Arthur 2-3 times "hey can you take back your reporting now" and he would say "yeah yeah tomorrow" but never did.

Henry and James noticed it too. Henry even said "dude why are you doing Arthur's reporting daily, that's his job".

Last week in our 1-on-1 with George, George asked me why my own tasks are getting delayed. I was honest. I said "Because for the last 3 months I've been doing Arthur's client reporting every day, which was supposed to be a 2 day favor. It's taking 1-2 hours daily and it's affecting my own deadlines."

George was surprised. He didn't know. He then talked to Arthur and told him to take his reporting back.

Now Arthur is furious at me. He told Henry, James and Jack that I snitched on him to George and that I should have talked to him again instead of telling the boss. He said I threw him under the bus and I'm not a team player.

Jack thinks I should have given Arthur one more warning before telling George. Henry says I did the right thing because Arthur was using me.

I feel like I did talk to Arthur multiple times and he ignored me. That small favor became my second job. Why should my own work suffer?

AITA for telling my boss?

I (19F) recently cut my childhood best friend, "Sophia" (19F), completely out of my life. It has been a few months now, but looking back, the entire situation feels completely surreal.

Last December, Sophia and I were incredibly close. During a casual conversation about our crushes, she told me she liked a guy from her church named Jacob (19M). When she asked me who I liked, I told her, "It's kinda new, but I like Justin (19M)." She told me how cute that was and said we would make a great couple.

A week later, Justin and I were hanging out. Sophia joined us uninvited, making Justin visibly uncomfortable until she eventually left. Once we were alone, Justin confessed his feelings for me, and we officially started seeing each other.

Two days later, a mutual childhood friend informed me that while Justin and I were having our private conversation, Sophia and her older brother Matthew (21M) were essentially stalking and watching us. I confronted Sophia, told her never to do it again, and she apologized.

Things went well for a few weeks until early January, when I received a text from Sophia saying, "Please don't be mad at me... I've had feelings for Justin for a long time now, probably before you or at the same time."

I was completely blindsided. I reminded her that she told me she liked Jacob, and asked why she didn't say something sooner. She just said "yes, I'm sorry." The next day at school, she completely ignored me. When I asked if she was going to tell Justin, she snapped, "I don't know why you think I would tell Justin that. You must be insane." I told her if she didn't tell him, I would.

I told Justin everything. He was just as confused as I was and comforted me. Sophia continued to give me the silent treatment. Later that week, Sophia's sister, Jasmine (20F), cornered me at school and threatened me, saying if I didn't leave Justin and let Sophia "have him," she would "make my life a living hell."

I broke down crying from the stress. When I told Justin, he immediately drove to my house with a basket of my favorite snacks, jewelry, and shoes to comfort me.

Weeks passed. Justin and I were doing great, but Sophia remained short and rude. Finally, she completely flipped a switch. She started screaming at me, demanding to know why I "always get everything I want like it's just handed to me."

For context, I own and operate my own company and work incredibly hard for everything I have. I completely snapped. I screamed back: "Who do you think you are coming after me? B*ch, I work my ass off for the stuff I have. You have no right asking me that. You're the one who is always wanting stuff from me!" I walked away and left her standing there in shock.

I immediately sought counseling to handle the emotional toll. With my therapist's help, I sent Sophia a final text stating that I was making a conscious decision to cut her out after 8 years of friendship because of her treatment of me over a guy. I then blocked her.

Ironically, Justin and I slowly drifted apart afterward and are no longer together, though we remain good friends. Sophia and I are on speaking terms now, but we are absolutely not friends. She stopped being rude, mostly because Justin recently asked someone else to the school dance, and the look of disappointment on her face was picture-worthy. I am now focusing entirely on building my second business.

So, Reddit, AITAH for blowing up and cutting her off?

Hey let me ask you this question before anything. Let’s say your grandfather died and your father wants to leave and go to his home country to take care of the funeral etc. Now yes this a devastating situation and I was quite close to my grandfather too. Now my aunt who lives with us had already gone back to our home country to take. Are of my grandfather.

See I get the point of her wanting to be present in the funeral and say good bye to their father but at the same time. We live here in the USA and we have a dog. Now I am in University, I am meant to graduate this semester but now I am starting to think that I won’t purely because I have to take 2 weeks off school but do you know what’s the real kicker?

My dad said “your aunt has to stay there for another 13 days due to her visa” but when I did look up if that was true it was not that. It was because of a religious belief that after a family member dies they will have to say in that set country for 13 days.

Not to sound insensitive but I was close with my grandfather too. He knew I was agnostic and he did not care. Now the insensitive part would be that for that stupid religious crap, I have to suffer and let my grades + everything else fall through. And the dog we have is about 8 years old so I can’t leave him alone at home. At the same time, I am tired of being tossed around like this because of some stupid religious beliefs.

Also my father did not leave any groceries for me to use for the next 2 weeks, instead I had to buy it all myself and I am slowly but surely starting to hate my family.

My friends love posting pictures and videos whenever we hang out and usually I dont mind being in a few photos

But lately one of them has started posting embarrassing videos of me without asking, including moments when I look tired or say something stupid. I asked her to check with me before posting but she laughed and said its just social media and nobody cares that much

Last weekend she posted another video even after I reminded her. I got annoyed and told her to take it down, but now our group says Im being too sensitive and making normal fun awkward

I dont want to control what anyone posts on their own account but I also dont think I should have to accept every picture or video of myself being shared online

AITA for asking them to stop posting me without permission?

I work as an administrator at a small medical practice, and I've been there for nearly four years. My job involves managing appointments, updating patient records, dealing with suppliers and handling a lot of the paperwork that keeps the practice running smoothly. It's busy, but I've always taken pride in being reliable. A few months ago, I accepted a new job with better hours and more opportunities to progress. I gave my employer plenty of notice, documented my regular tasks and offered to help train whoever took over my position. My manager thanked me and said we'd arrange everything before my final day. The problem started when the practice hired my replacement later than expected. By then, I had already booked a week of annual leave that had been approved months earlier. I was planning to visit relatives I hadn't seen in a long time, and the travel arrangements were already paid for. Three days before my leave was due to start, my manager told me that my replacement wouldn't be ready to work independently and asked me to postpone my holiday. I explained that I couldn't easily change the arrangements at such short notice. I offered to spend my remaining working days going through the main procedures with my replacement and prepare a written guide for anything we couldn't cover. My manager agreed initially, but the next day she asked me to spend two days of my annual leave training the new employee remotely. She said I could simply answer questions over the phone and check any complicated paperwork. I politely declined, explaining that my leave had already been approved and I wouldn't be available for work during that time. She reminded me that the practice was short-staffed and that patients could be affected if my replacement struggled. I understood the concern, but I pointed out that I had given notice, offered training and prepared documentation. The recruitment delay wasn't something I had caused, and I didn't think I should lose my holiday because the handover hadn't been organised in time. My replacement later contacted me directly and asked if I could explain a few procedures before I left. I answered her questions during working hours and sent her the guide I'd prepared. I also told her where to find the relevant internal documents, following the practice's confidentiality procedures. My manager was unhappy when she learned I wouldn't be answering calls during my leave. She said I was leaving the team in a difficult position and suggested that someone who cared about their colleagues would make a small sacrifice. I told her I had already done what I reasonably could and that my annual leave was important to me too. A colleague thinks I should have helped because the practice provides an important service, while another says management should have arranged the handover earlier. I don't want my replacement to struggle, and I have no issue helping her while I'm still employed. I just don't want my approved holiday treated as extra working time whenever the business has a problem. AITA?

I hired a driver six months ago to take me to work and occasionally run errands when I was busy. We agreed on a fixed monthly salary, and I have always paid him on time, including when I took leave and did not need him every day. Last Friday, I asked him to pick up an important document from my office and deliver it to my lawyer before 4 PM. He agreed, but later called to say he had gone home because he assumed I would not need him anymore that afternoon. The document was still at my office, and I had to leave an important meeting early to collect it myself. When I confronted him, he admitted he had made the wrong assumption but insisted I should pay him extra for the time he had already spent driving to work that morning. I told him his monthly salary covered his working hours and that he had agreed to the delivery, so I would not pay an additional amount for a task he had abandoned without informing me. He then said he would not do any more errands unless I paid him extra for each one, even though occasional errands were part of our original agreement. I explained that if he wanted to renegotiate his duties, we could discuss it properly, but he could not change the agreement after missing an important task. He has now told another employee that I treat him unfairly, and my family says I should just pay him to avoid a bigger problem. I have not deducted anything from his salary, and I am willing to discuss his workload, but I do not think I should pay an extra fee for work he agreed to do and then chose not to complete. AITA? I am wondering whether I should give him another chance or start looking for a replacement.

My friend invited a group of us to a restaurant for her birthday and I was happy to go because we dont get together that often

When the bill arrived, everyone started splitting it equally even though my friend had ordered several expensive dishes and drinks that most of us didnt have. I asked if we could just pay for what we ordered, but one of my friends said we should all cover her meal since it was her birthday

I didnt agree because I had already spent money on a gift and wasnt expecting to pay extra for everyone else's food too

My friend noticed the disagreement and said I was ruining her birthday over money. The others paid their share and now some of them are saying I embarrassed her in front of everyone

I didnt want to make things awkward but I also dont think I should have to pay for food I didnt order

AITA for refusing to split the bill equally?

Exported from r/aitah plus adding bits of context

So context to this is me and this hg lets call her S, met at work and worked together for 2 years before getting split to different departments , we maintained a close relationship due to our shared interests in kpop and anime, and we went to concerts such as Ateez, Day6, Twice etc. This year Bigbang is playing in Sydney and we both are in Melbourne so ofc we needed to plan ahead.

We agreed 3 months beforehand that we wanted to go but S is needing to sit for her citizenship test with her family so she said she will update me , never does , even after i bring it up she just does not tell me any update (ty Aus govt for being so lax with this) , plus she got sick in those 3 months (something minor). So i always had to make the first move and put in the energy to ask before i got an answer (which after reflection i always did with those other concerts + booking tickets , dinner , uber etc) while she transfers money and shows up. (Context with this: she has a bad habit of being enthuastic with something and not following through , eg going to the gym and going to get her masters), whenevr i confront her about it her natural response is to brush it off and saying 'im just a girl'

So i have been messaging her every other week (on me that set no deadline) till it got to one month left i got angry and messaged her and told her off for a lack of accountability for this because flights and accomodation got more expensive and had to negotiate leave with respective managers, and i told her if she cant go u need to let me know now so i can adjust plans accordingly. She still said she wanted to go and She understood and decided to work on that and decided to bring the family along to sydney as well to make it a celebatory family trip after passing citizenship test which i didnt mind.

However 1.5 weeks go by and we locked in leave and were looking at accom and flight tickets ,[nothing locked in with that because she needs to discuss with her fam] and she out of the blue tells me her mum told her last minute that has had a health scare (unsure if cancer related but she was beat up about it) and did nto want to go anymore, which really made me understand and symphatise but frustrated at the same time

Now i understand family before everything but i got angry, frustrated due to the lack of communication because i missed out on a trip and i couldve made separate plans to this and now even if i choose to go everything would be too expensive and wondering the costs are even worth it. Plus in my head we coildve booked it and made it so tixkets like flights,concert and hotels are refundable . And what i considered a good to even best friend to now have that relationship shattered due to frustration and seeing the lack of energy reciprocated back to me.

so AITH or thoughts?

My mum and I live outside of town (we don’t live together) and the nearest airport is around an hour and a half away. My brother lives in another country.

I gave birth 12 weeks ago and i’m a solo parent to my beautiful daughter. She’s on a strict feeding schedule of every 3 hours due to her slow progression in weight gain, so naturally i’m up all throughout the night and don’t catch a break.

My mum decided she wants to visit my brother and asked me to do the airport drop offs and pick ups, which I agreed too. A couple days ago I got up, got my daughter ready and went to pick up my mum (this was at 7am). I will admit I was a bit snippy during to exhaustion which I apologised for numerous times. About an hour into the drive, we stopped off at my dad’s house so I could feed and change my daughter. I stopped off and brought food for us so we can quickly eat while we were there.

When we pulled up to my dad’s house, my mum immediately stood by the front door waiting for me to unlock it while i was grabbing the bag and my daughter, struggling because my hands were full. I said “You could help me here” which set my mum off in the middle of the street and she started yelling. I asked her to calm down, which only made it worse.

When we got inside, I told her that I didn’t appreciate her causing a scene in a street full of retired people who would’ve heard her. I don’t know what made her so angry but she threw her lunch and started screaming her ass off. In a calm tone I said “Can you please keep it together, I don’t like you acting this way around my baby” (I was feeding her at the time). My mum said she was going to call a cab for the rest of the journey and went outside to have a cigarette.

A few minutes later she came back in and told me to hurry up to which i replied with “I thought you were calling a taxi?”. This ended up with her standing right infront of me yelling about how I ruined her trip and she hates me. I asked her to go sit in the car and I’ll be there once i’m done feeding my baby.

The rest of the car ride was silence. When we reached the airport I said “It doesn’t matter how pissed off you were, there is absolutely no excuse to throw things, yell and tell me you hate me in front of my daughter”. I also told her she can find her own way home when she returns unless she apologises.

today i sent her a text saying “Am i picking you up tomorrow, and if so, what time?” to which she responded with “No i’ll find my own way home”. I left it at that. I’m unsure how she will get home since we live in the country and no taxi, uber or public transport will come out this far.

Should I just do the right thing and pick her up? or am I justified in not wanting to be near her right now until she apologises for the way she acted?

sorry for the long read!

UPDATE: i left her stranded. My family have been hounding me for “putting her safety at risk”. I’m still not sure if she’s home or not, and I feel terrible for doing this. I did send her a text apologising if the way I spoke to her was rude due to me being exhausted and i was hoping she would do the right thing and say sorry too. unfortunately not. anyway, it’s not my problem anymore and I blocked her number

I'm 24F just graduated college. My mom (52F) took a bunch of photos at the ceremony. She posted a few on Facebook. In one of them, my partner of 3 years was standing next to me. She cropped him out completely. I asked her why and she said it's your day I wanted it to be about you.

I said that felt disrespectful to my partner, who came to support me. She said I'm overreacting and that she just wanted nice photos of me. I told her she can't post any more graduation photos unless she posts them unedited. She got upset and said I'm being controlling.

Now my dad says I hurt her feelings and should just let her post what she wants.

AITA?

I work in a small office where everyone shares basic supplies such as printer paper, sticky notes and ink cartridges. We have a simple system: if someone uses the last of something, they let the office administrator know so it can be replaced. It usually works well, and we've never had any serious issues with it.

A few weeks ago, a coworker named Sophie was preparing materials for a presentation. She printed several versions of the same document, made mistakes in the formatting and printed everything again. By the end of the afternoon, she'd used nearly an entire pack of paper. I didn't think much of it at first because mistakes happen, but I later discovered that she'd also used a large number of colour pages for drafts that could easily have been printed in black and white.

The next morning, our manager reminded everyone to be mindful of printing costs because the department was working with a limited budget. Sophie complained to me privately that the reminder was unfair because she'd only been trying to make her presentation look professional.

Later that week, I noticed we had run out of paper before I needed to print an important report. I contacted the office administrator, who explained that the next supply delivery wasn't due for several days. I mentioned that we'd used a lot of paper recently, and Sophie overheard me.

She accused me of blaming her for the shortage. I told her I wasn't trying to get her into trouble, but her repeated printing had contributed to the problem. She said the presentation was important for the whole team and that I should be willing to share responsibility for the supplies.

A few days later, Sophie suggested that I buy a pack of paper myself and bring it into the office. She said it would solve the immediate problem and that the company could reimburse me eventually. I declined because purchasing office supplies wasn't my responsibility, and I didn't want to spend my own money without approval.

She became annoyed and said I was making a small inconvenience into a personal issue. I explained that I was happy to help find a solution, but I wasn't going to pay out of pocket because someone had used more supplies than necessary. I contacted the administrator again, and they arranged a temporary supply from another department.

Sophie has since told a couple of colleagues that I could have helped everyone by simply buying the paper. One colleague agrees that I shouldn't have to pay, while another thinks I was being unnecessarily rigid over a relatively inexpensive item.

I don't mind sharing office resources, and I understand that mistakes happen. However, I don't think employees should be expected to personally replace workplace supplies whenever the office runs short. I followed the proper procedure and helped arrange an alternative without spending my own money.

AITA?

I’m 28F, my sister is 31F. Our mom passed away last winter, and she left me her silver necklace. It was not expensive, but it was the only piece of jewelry Mom wore daily, so it means the whole world to me.

Last year for my sister’s birthday, I saved up for two months and bought her a handmade leather purse she had been eyeing for ages. She thanked me at the party, but three weeks later I found out she sold it online for quick cash. When I confronted her, she said she needed money for dinner with her boyfriend and the purse “wasn’t useful anyway”. I was hurt, but I didn’t fight for long.

Now she’s asking for Mom’s necklace. She said she wants it to “keep Mom close”. I told her no. I explained I saw how easily she sold the expensive gift I worked hard to buy her, and I don’t trust she would cherish Mom’s necklace.

She blew up. She said I’m cruel and greedy, that Mom would want us to share keepsakes. She told our relatives I’m keeping all Mom’s things to punish her. Multiple family members texted me saying I should give it to her to keep peace.

I feel guilty. I hate fighting with my sister, and I know grief makes people messy. But I can’t stop thinking about my purse being sold without a second thought. If she would sell a gift I saved for, how can I be sure she won’t sell Mom’s necklace later? AITA?