These past few weeks, idk pero super underwhelming ng perf ko. Got 12/30 sa calc quiz, failed chem quiz, and missed a submission. Sa beginning pa lang ng sy super disoriented na talaga me. Even tho nakabili nako ng laptop and such, kala ko magagain ko ulit focus ko. Sobrang heavy lang kasi aside from the pressure na inimpose ko sa sarili ko, mataas din expectation ng parents ko sakin. Ito kasi talaga yung worry ko, aside from maintaining my scholarship, natatakot ako ma disappoint sila. I told my mother about my failed calc quiz and yeah she was disappointed, how much more nalang kung sinabihan ko pa sa iba. I'm trying to focus and do better, kaso I can't, I keep on reminding myself na I shouldn't dwell on those pero i cant. Lalo na't midterms na next week, hays.

While I was studying kanina, I couldn't help my anxiety again. I'm so disappointed sa self ko and natatakot ma disappoint parents ko. I even went to Ai para lang ma estimate yung scores ko. I couldn't help it, sobrang burntout. I missed the submission bcs that day kasi, I ruminated the whole day, an I missed the instruction na may deadline and docs submission pala.

Anybody out here na 2nd courser as well?

I am already 25 years old and I am a freshman for the second time.

Ginusto ko naman 'to, and I am enjoying our lessons. My parents pay for my tuition and school needs, may allowance din but tipid of course as a dormer. My grades are good, top scorer naman ako, so far.

Pero ang hirap kasi matanda na ako. It feels weird na at 25 years old, dependent pa rin ako ng parents ko. I worked for 2 years na rin before going sa vet school. Yes, 'yung 6 year course pa talaga napili ko 🥹

I feel lost sometimes. Ayaw nila ako mag-work, but I really do want to. Di ko lang din alam kung saan, but I've been searching. Feel ko kapag may work ako or sariling pera, baka mabawasan. Idk.

I just really feel lost right now.

Can you give me advice?

Im a working student, I take orders and write them down and dito bumabase ang packer,delivery and customers. Tbh napapagod ako kasi I go to school almost everyday, nagigising ng 5am para pumasok at uuwi din ng 5 ang simula ng work ko ay 6pm onwards, jst an hour difference pag labas ko ng school. Napagalitan nanaman ulit ako dahil ngayon “magulo” ang sulat ko at hindi daw maintindihan.
I admit hindi rin nmn maganda ang sulat ko dahil nagmamadali ako.

Ito kasi ang important context. A day before friday I usually go to work and on site sya, they had 18 hours to tell me na wala akong work that day(Wednesday) at hindi ko malalaman kung hindi ako pumasok na coding pala ng kotse. Ang sabi naman ng instructor ko wala akong pasok for sa friday so next week padaw ang work ko kaya nag review ako for an important exam. Puro exam at review ang nasa utak ko at ang dami kong ginagawang project na pinag sasabay. 6:40 ng nag chat saakin si madam asking asaan ako at pumasok ako kaya nabigla ako kasi I even asked her if next week pa ang work ko and sabi nya oo.

Bukod sa pag ttake ng orders I market these customers INDIVIDUALLY and an hour lang sya tapos ang pag ttake ng order is another hour. So expectedly 2 hours lng natake ko na at na market ko na lahat ng order ng customers.

Ayon na nga, pumaosk ako sa work ng pagod at nagpapawis kasi tinakbo ko sya and its kind of far, 30 mins walk sya. And nalaman ko na hindi pala nila tinake ung mga order ng Thursday kaya Thursday and Friday orders need ko ma i write down and nagmamadali ako plus natataranta ako if may naiwan ba or natabunan ba na orders. Mind you I follow instructions and I ask if Idk.

I was instructed that day na only this condominium ang hindi i market and gave me a few condos to market at. I asked if ayon lang ba or lahat ba ng condo except to that particular condo, she told me ask her asawa and her asawa said lahat daw ng gc and I did. She called me saying why was I marketing at this condo and I was confused kasi I followed exactly what the instructed nakakalito.

A male teacher has been sending messages to my classmate and understandably, she's uncomfortable. This teacher would strike up a conversation suddenly. One time, he sent an old picture of my classmate to her. Before that though, months ago, he even said that this classmate looked like his ex.

But it is not just my classmate though who feels uncomfortable with him. We all feel uncomfortable with his actions. I have heard how he talked about women which were sometimes misogynistic. Even seniors in our school—some of whom didn't even have him as a teacher—are uncomfortable with him.

Ngl, nakokonsensya ako sometimes when I talk badly about this teacher with my friends whether through online or not. Pero honestly, creepy yung actions niya and it is not how a teacher should act.

Please let me rant this po and maybe give me your thoughts.

This week is our duty week (MTW) and supposed to be free na the rest of the week namin. But meron kming teacher na nag ask if pede ba sya mag oc thurs and fri, we said ok kasi ahead of time nmn sya nag announce.

But nung thurs, sumama ang pakiramdam ng kapatid ko (magkasama kmi sa dorm) at sabi nya gusto nya dw umuwi sa hometown nmin (mga 8 pm na nun). Though nag aalangan ako kasi wla masyadong signal dun, ay umuwi parin kmi kasi hindi rin kampante parents ko na iwan ako mag isa sa dorm nmin.

Thurs and fri, i attended the oc. Nung fri, pagkatapos ng oc nmin (mga 6) tumigil nko kakaselpon kasi ang sakit sa braso maghanap ng signal. Sakto pa that night na insomia ako ang mga 5 na ata ako nakakuha ng tulog. I have medication for this kasi meron rin akong condition na nagpapalala ng insomia ko pero nakalimutan kong dalhin kasi nagmamadali kmi that time at nakalimutan ko sa dorm.

And so yun, 5 am ako nakatulog then mga 10 ata ako nakagising. Mga 11 nag try akong maghanap ng signal to check ng mga messages and gusto kong umiyak talaga.

Nag announce pala cla sa gc mga 10 pm na may oc kmi sat morning 9-12 at mandatory ang attendance ( which natapos na nung 10 yung checking).

Gusto ko magbreakdown. Napaisip talaga ako na "bakit hindi cla nag announce nang ahead of time?", "d ba dapat free nato namin, bakit may oc pa rin?".

Ang hirap pa nmn kasi may bayad yun smin. Na late nako 1 time dahil rin sa insomia ko kasi that time hindi pko naka ask sa doctor ko nang gamot, but this time? I dont know, hindi ko na talaga alam gagawin ko. Late pa nmn smin is yung bayad 1600 ata rinig ko sa isang late.

Lol, hindi ko gustong sabihin sa parents ko toh, sarap nlng talagang umiyak.

Though i know may kasalanan rin nmn ako kasi hindi ako nag checheck ng cp ko. I know that pero sarap parin talagang umiyak.