r/reactivedogs • • Apr 15 '26

META Comments being deleted? Make sure you affirm you've read the subreddit rules!

30 Upvotes

Hi r/reactivedogs community,

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r/reactivedogs • • Jul 07 '26

Please Read The Rules

364 Upvotes

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r/reactivedogs • • 1h ago

Advice Needed Should i rehome my puppy?

• Upvotes

I have a 7 months old male spitzpom mix puppy. I had him since he was 6-7 weeks old and him growing up i guess since it was our first time having a dog we didnt really do and teach him everything right. And currently he has lot of problems especially fear agression.. he barks nonstop and tries to attack if any strangers dog any living thing get close to him and when he is over aroused sometimes he just snaps at us and with this he has bitten my mom a lot of times drawing blood like when he is overthreshold he doesnt listen to anyone and if we try to go towards him or try to comfort him during this he bites us. I guess we cant all blame him its cause of us he became like this but it has got to a point that we are scared of him cause we dont know when and how he will snap. He is sweet most of the times but randomly idk what he finds wrong he becomes a devil and because of this we have come to a decision to rehome him since we cant afford training for him but its not just that its also cause im just a high school student i dont have money to give him training and even if we keep him i dont think i can take care of him long term since i still have a lot to do and figure and idk what the future holds. My parents said they cant keep caring for him forever and they have there life to live and things to explore. And because of this i feel lots of guilt because it was me who forced them to get the puppy and now i feel i did wrong and cause of me my lil dog has to suffer and idk what to do.. will he be able to adjust? I thought rather than keeping him and after years due to problems having to rehome him things will get much harder for me and him aswell. The person im rehoming him to is the breeder neighbor and idk what should i do.


r/reactivedogs • • 11h ago

Rehoming I returned my reactive dog.

17 Upvotes

I rescued a dog with undisclosed leash reactivity towards both people and dogs.

I posted about it a few times in this sub. Folks generally said I should return him if he’s making me miserable, and that the dog won’t know if he was fostered for a few weeks or adopted and returned.

Long story short, we had him a little less than a month - I felt that keeping him was harming my mental health due to the stress of his reactivity, and my husband wanted to accept him as is or put him on antidepressants. Ultimately my husband told me he wants me to be happy and that he will go with what I decide.

I spoke with the rescue and she said she could find him a home with a bigger yard and other dogs so he could get his exercise off leash in the yard rather than on walks. I returned him this morning, and I cried so hard I almost threw up on the way home.

The dog started whining as soon as I left, and he watched me as I drove away.

My husband is sobbing all day saying he is heartbroken and feels like we tricked the dog.

I genuinely feel at the brink of crisis. I feel like I am a horrible, selfish person and I am having very dark thoughts.

Looking for reassurance, I guess.


r/reactivedogs • • 2h ago

Advice Needed Winter is coming and my dog definitely won't let me put little booties on him...

2 Upvotes

Hello, I live in a place where the winter is very cold and snowy, so a lot of people salt their sidewalks. I'm just gonna say right now that there is NO WAY my dog will let me put booties on him. How do I keep his paws safe from the salt without booties? Surely I am not the only person who has this problem. TIA


r/reactivedogs • • 10m ago

Advice Needed Tips for house guest barking and reactivity w mini Aussie

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• Upvotes

r/reactivedogs • • 10h ago

Meds & Supplements One step closer to helping our anxious boy feel safe

4 Upvotes

After nearly three years of trying to get professional help for our reactive/anxious boy, we FINALLY have a prescription for fluoxetine!

We recently switched veterinary clinics after a disappointing experience with our previous vet. We understand that our boy can be challenging to work with, especially in an environment that causes him so much stress, but we left our most recent appointment at our former vet feeling that his anxiety wasn't fully understood or addressed, despite us constantly bringing up our concerns at previous visits.

Thankfully, our new vet and their team have been absolutely wonderful! They are caring, understanding, and willing to work with us to figure out how best to help our boy. They took the time to give him a thorough check-up (sedated of course 😅), run some blood work, and discuss his anxiety and behaviour with us. We now have a treatment plan that includes medication alongside behavioural training, and it feels like we're finally making progress.

Our next step is finalizing our booking with a Certified Dog Behaviour Consultant/Fear Free Certified trainer to work with us (and oh boy, is that ever expensive! 🫠 But it'll be worth it!).

We know medication isn't a magic fix, and there's still plenty of work ahead of us, but I'm so relieved that we're finally moving in the right direction. At the end of the day, we just want to help our boy feel safer and more comfortable in the world ❤️


r/reactivedogs • • 6h ago

Advice Needed Reactive dog keeps barking/whining, but I’m not sure why?

2 Upvotes

Tonight has been quite bad. My dog began to suddenly bark/growl in the direction of outside, to which I decided it would be a good idea to check out what she was interested in. I go to the window, don’t see anything, and tell her it’s ok and let her sit with for a bit (honestly she kind of freaked me out with the sudden behaviour change). I decide it’s about time to go to sleep, so I get her ready and head upstairs (she doesn’t sleep in a crate, but I have the upstairs blocked off). For about 30 minutes now she has been whining in a high pitch, and I’m trying to figure out right now if she is alerting me so something that needs my attention, if she’s telling me somethings outside, or if she is just having another burst of anxiety.
She is a very anxious dog, and I’m a very anxious person, so when I feel uneasy about something I try to separate myself from the situation (such as go to sleep) before my anxiety makes hers worse.
Obviously, I’m not going to go outside at night and check to see if something or someone is out there, I wouldn’t have the ability to defend myself against another human or aggressive animal if there were one outside, but I wonder if my lack of checking on her “concerns” might be making her anxiety worse?
Any advice about this situation is appreciated, because this has happened a few times this month now and I would like to make sure her anxiety is not going ignored.


r/reactivedogs • • 9h ago

Vent I wish I had a calmer, more “normal” family dog, and I feel guilty admitting it

3 Upvotes

I feel awful even saying this because I do love my dog, but sometimes I wish I had a different kind of dog. A calmer dog. The kind of dog that seems to naturally fit into family life without everything having to be so complicated. Like the dogs I had growing up.

I have a five-month-old baby, and one of the things I’ve found surprisingly hard about becoming a parent is realizing that the relationship I hoped my baby would have with our dog is most likely not going to look the way I imagined.

I see so many pictures and videos of families with their babies lying next to their dogs, toddlers cuddling with the family dog on the couch, or dogs calmly hanging around while their little humans play. I know social media only shows a snapshot of reality, and I know even the calmest dog needs supervision around a baby. I’m not expecting a living stuffed animal that tolerates absolutely anything a child does. But I still get sad when I see those pictures.

My dog is a roughly 30-pound Manchester terrier mix. A rescue that we’ve had for about four years. He’s not necessarily a bad dog. He can be happy and curious around the baby, and he can be redirected. He can also get very excited and jumps on people. He has caught and killed rats and rabbits. He’s the kind of dog whose behavior and environment I have to think about carefully, rather than just assuming everything will be fine.

What hurts is that I wish I didn’t have to be so vigilant all the time. I wish I could have my child grow up with a dog who is naturally laid-back and easygoing at the start of the day, instead of taking hours to get there when he sees an exciting thing like a baby or a new person. I wish I had a dog who could hang out in the same room without me constantly thinking through every possible scenario.

I wish I could take those sweet family pictures without feeling a pang of sadness about what our reality looks like. And then I feel guilty, because our dog didn’t ask to be in this situation, and he isn’t a bad dog for being who he is. We chose him, and he has his own needs and temperament. It’s not his fault that the kind of dog he is and the kind of family life I imagined don’t fit together as effortlessly as I hoped.

I also feel guilty because I know plenty of parents have dogs with much more challenging behavioral issues, and I know some people would love to have a dog who is as manageable as our own dog can be. But we haven’t even really had the dog around the baby for more than a few minutes because of my own irrational fears. And getting a trainer involved isn’t possible because we can’t afford it. I realize this could sound ungrateful or like I’m blaming him for normal dog behavior.
But I can love my dog and still wish things were easier, right?

Has anyone else experienced this after having a baby? Did you ever find yourself grieving the kind of relationship you imagined your child would have with your dog, even though you still loved your dog?

We had a few hours, when we brought our baby home for the first time, where we thought we would have to rehome him because of how excited and energetic he got around the baby. We both were sick with grief and panic.


r/reactivedogs • • 10h ago

Advice Needed Reactive doodle - losing his “sister”

3 Upvotes

Our doodle is 8 years old. He was a happy and friendly boy but as a puppy. Our Shih Tzu jumped on him and that’s when the reactivity began. The Shih Tzu passed away 6 years ago.
He has been bonded with our Havanese who is little yet the alpha. She is close to passing away. We know he senses her being sick and will sniff her and then lay down.
We know that he will be anxious without her yet with his reactivity, we don’t know whether to get another dog as his companion. Have any of you experienced introducing a new dog with your reactive dog?


r/reactivedogs • • 13h ago

Aggressive Dogs [Repost] My brother's bull terrier keeps attacking me, and I'm scared of her.

6 Upvotes

So my brother (21) got a bull terrier about 2 months ago. Her name is Molly she's crate trained, intact, my brother walks her daily, and is 2 yrs old (turns 3 on Oct 31). She was mostly fine and even affectionate since we got her but recently she's bitten me 2 times in a week. HARD.

The first time two days ago, I was napping with her, but when my brother walked in, she shuddered growled then bit my face (but didn't break the skin), the second time was unprovoked, I didn't touch her she came to my leg, growled, and bit me again on my leg, (broke the skin, but I quickly disinfected the wound). She's in her cage, but whenever she sees me she gets angry and start growling and barking at me, not my brother.

My brother called the local shelter to get her fixed and vaccinated, but it probably it won't be for another week. I (23F) am kind of scared of her and I don't know what to do.


r/reactivedogs • • 1d ago

Vent Judgement from family

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50 Upvotes

Hi all, this is very much mostly a vent but also seeking reassurance. I adopted a Romanian rescue pup about 5 months ago. He's now 10 months and the bane of my existence. I've also come to love him very much but whenever people mention that their dogs are the love of their lives I know that we're not there yet. 😔 It's been a long journey for us and he's come sooo far but it's also still exhausting every day.

He is overall a dog that's basically constantly overaroused unless he's sleeping. He does not fall asleep around us, no matter how much settle training, pattern games and energy management we've done with him. Because of this, we've been leaving him downstairs during the day on his own, because he doesn't care and will go almost straight to sleep due to the lack of external arousal (our presence). He's also reactive outside to both people, dogs and cats. Dogs & cats is over-excitement and very much a frustrated greeter, people are also over-excitement and some nervousness. We have a fabulous dog trainer on board, who is brilliant and had a very similar situation with her dog before she became a dog trainer. From the get-go she has advised us to take things slow and not immediately force him to go outside twice a day, especially as he first was terrified of the outside for about 4 weeks. We followed this advice more or less reluctantly at first, but we probably could've scaled this back a bit more, and there were a few situations where I felt pressured to take him outside more often than once a week or less (which I believe would've been ideal). To clarify, we've got loads of different enrichment options that we give him when he's not on walks. In regards to his settling, this is not a lack of mental stimulation, he will keep himself awake to the point of madness if we stay with him all evening. We've now slowly worked him up to a walk every couple of days which gives him enough time in between to decompress. We're primarily using click the trigger (with a marker word), space to assess and settle on a mat when outside.

My partner had major surgery and we had to travel and stay with my partner's parents in an Airbnb for 2 weeks, so after some consideration we decided that while not ideal, taking him with us was the best option. Because of his history, and the fact that he wasn't getting enough sleep and would inevitably struggle, he was put on Trazadone & Gabapentin, which worked incredibly well and while it wasn't an easy trip overall, it made it manageable for all of us. We even had an absolutely brilliant beach trip where he remained responsive, checked in with me and took treats consistently, which was absolutely baffling for his first time on the beach! We've now decided that's in his best interest to try some longer term anti anxiety meds (fluoxetine) which we've not started yet because my partner is still deep in recovery and we want to be sure he can manage the pup while I'm at work. The medication is of course only a support while training hard with him.

I think besides the obvious issues, I mostly struggle with external judgement of the amount of walks we have him go on and the fact that we're putting him on medication (semi-) permanently. I firmly believe it's in his best interest, and so does our trainer, but I get snarky comments from both sides of the family and often enough from random people who get their puppies from breeders and have them perfectly socialised by 16 weeks.

I think I'm seeking some reassurance that we're on the correct way to handle him, some help advocating for him and maybe a few success stories ☺️


r/reactivedogs • • 17h ago

Advice Needed Dog psychics & mediums

7 Upvotes

Looking for advice and no judgement. Ive never really been one that believes in much afterlife but we recently lost our dog to BE and I can’t help but wonder if she knew we were there for her till the end.

I wish so badly that we could have extended her life more than we already did or even let her go on one of her good days. She really was the sweetest dog to us between the aggression which is what makes this that much more painful. She began to regress to level 4-5 biting toward us and it was becoming too often (weekly) that we no longer felt like she was going to be able to work back through her previous trauma or us keep our household safe

When my baby was put to sleep both my husband and I were afraid to touch her due to our own trauma from her behavior. It kills me that as she rested, she was facing our vet instead of seeing my face and she was next to me but not in my lap. I did start to hug her body as she laid but I wish so badly she had sat into my arms and saw my face. I was just too afraid to hug her when she walked into the room after the initial anesthesia like injection. It’s ripping me apart.

Anyways I’m just looking to see if anyone has good pet medium recommendations. I really want to know if she knew she was loved and that we wish we could have healed her like new ❤️‍🩹


r/reactivedogs • • 11h ago

Advice Needed Best defence against dog attacks ?

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2 Upvotes

r/reactivedogs • • 1d ago

Behavioral Euthanasia My heart is broke - help

13 Upvotes

I'm writing this in floods of tears as I don't know what to do anymore so I'll tell you the backstory of how we got here today.

We adopted the most beautiful cocker spaniel "Bob" from a rescue centre last November. The vet reckons he was about 3 years old when we got him. When we brought him home we realised he had a umbilical hernia on his stomach and we put this down to him being snappy and short tempered due to pain. We got Bob surgery and he healed and recovered well.

As the months progressed he had isolated unprovoked incidents in the house where he has bit my wife twice now. Once on the leg and once on the chest. She is scarred for life. There was no warning, it wasn't our baby boy he was completely unrecognisable. He also bit my wife's mum and her dad, this time it was over guarding food which we put down to a behavioural issue. Bob has shared a home with an older cocker spaniel and an older jack Russell. In the first few months Bob has pinned the jack Russell in the garden and bit her over a ball. Apart from that there have been no more issues until last night, we had walked all three dogs as we do every day, they were brought home, fed, watered and had fully decompressed. My SO was upstairs as I was working in the living room when I heard the two spaniels fighting and my wife screaming. I ran upstairs to Bob pinning the other dog with his teeth sunk into his leg. It was horrific, both dogs were bleeding and it was so aggressive and horrible to see. We separated the dogs and have kept them apart. My wife brought Bob home today and again he went for the other dog in a full blown aggressive attack. They were always together but now we cannot trust them alone together incase something happens we can't control.

We have paid dog trainers and taught Bob so much, he is a quick learner as we've taught him how to sit, heel, give paw, lie down and crate trained him where he sleeps in every night. He loves snuggles and big walks off lead. We give him everything a dog could ever want.

This is the bit that breaks my heart, when we googled the sanctuary we noticed an old photo of Bob when he was 12 months, it was him. We learnt today that Bob has been through the same rescue centre twice and we are his third home. I noticed under his adoption photo a woman posting a photo of Bob saying how happy she was with him. I added her as a friend and messaged her asking the history..she explained that she adopted Bob and loved him so much, her pregnant daughter moved in with her and Bob became protective over her daughter..snarling at his previous owner and unfortunately bit her on the arm twice. She said she made the rescue centre aware of his bite history which they did not disclose. She told me that she adopted him and the story the centre gave her was a family in Ukraine where moving home and didn't have the time to give to Bob's needs.

We have had 6 biting incidents in under a year and the previous owner has reported 2. We love this beautiful dog to bits but now feel like we have ran out of excuses. We took him to the vet who said the best course of action with a dog with that history would be to put him to sleep. We are devastated and can't stop crying but are in a constant state of worry if Bob bit a child or caused anymore harm in future.

Any help, advice or guidance anyone on this sub can give please provide because I need it more than ever right now.


r/reactivedogs • • 18h ago

Advice Needed Looking for advice on my reactive Chihuahua, especially barking at new people

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I adopted my 5-year-old Chihuahua a little while ago, and I’m working on his reactivity and separation anxiety. I’m already seeing progress in some areas, but there’s one thing I’m really struggling with and would love some advice on.

First, the positives! His reactivity towards other dogs on walks has improved quite a bit. I’m increasingly able to call his name and get him to look at me when he notices another dog, and he’s becoming less likely to bark. He still struggles quite a lot with bigger dogs, but I don’t expect him to be fully trained in just a few months. I’m genuinely proud of the progress he’s making.

I’m also working on his separation anxiety and gradually teaching him to feel comfortable being home alone. Today, we managed a 30-minute session, which I’m incredibly proud of! I know we still have a long way to go, but I’m happy to see progress there too.

The main thing I’m struggling with at the moment is his reaction to unfamiliar people, especially certain men.

When I invite people over to my home, he can bark at them for quite a while. Eventually, he often settles down, but even if he’s been quiet for 10 minutes, the moment someone gets up, moves around or starts talking again, he may start barking all over again.
I’ve experienced the same thing when meeting potential dog sitters. He sometimes barks so much at them in their own homes that it becomes difficult to have a conversation. Yesterday, a sitter and her partner ended up going outside to sit on a bench and have a coffee because it was so difficult to talk with him barking indoors.

This is starting to worry me because I’m afraid I won’t be able to find people willing to look after him if this continues.

I’ve been trying to create positive associations with unfamiliar people by having them give him treats, so he learns that new people can be a good thing. I’ve also bought a crate for my home, hoping that he can retreat to his safe space when visitors arrive and have some time to settle without being overwhelmed.

However, I’m beginning to worry that I might be doing something wrong. Sometimes it feels as though his reactions are getting worse, and I’m scared that my approach might accidentally be making things worse rather than helping him.
What confuses me is that he can seem to settle down, only to start barking again as soon as someone moves. I’m not sure how to help him become genuinely comfortable around new people rather than just temporarily quiet.

For those of you who have worked with reactive dogs, especially dogs who bark at unfamiliar people in the home:
-What helped your dog become more comfortable around visitors?
-Is having people offer treats a good approach, or can it sometimes create more pressure for the dog?
-How do you gradually get your dog comfortable with people moving around without triggering another barking episode?
-How did you handle introductions with potential dog sitters when your dog struggled to settle around them?
-How can I tell whether I’m making progress or accidentally reinforcing the behaviour?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences, what worked for your dogs, and any advice you might have. Thank you!


r/reactivedogs • • 16h ago

Advice Needed Dog is becoming short-tempered with other dogs

2 Upvotes

Hi all, my 1.5 year Great Pyr mix has started to get into some altercations with dogs. She’s been scared of people since she was a puppy but adores playing with dogs. Up until last week, she had only not gotten along with two dogs in her life. We live in an apartment complex with a dog park so she plays with other dogs frequently.

Last Tuesday, we went into the dog park when a dog was in there. There was a toy she really liked and he wanted to take it away. I noticed her hackles went up so I had a feeling she didn’t like being chased. The other dog’s owner was about to leave until her dog came trotting back. My dog then got up and all of a sudden they were fighting. Neither of them got hurt. She had never resource guarded a toy before, so I thought it was a freak accident because she really liked that toy.

A couple days later, she was playing with two other dogs. One of which is her good dog friend. The other dog then starts wrestling and growling with her dog friend. I hold my dog back because I was worried she would react since she had a couple days prior. After he stopped wrestling, I let her loose. Well he then growled again, and my dog did not like it. She then started snapping at him so I pulled her away.

Her allergies were really bad during this time & I ended up finding some lesions she caused herself from biting & scratching. I figured her short temper was because of her not feeling great.

I didn’t let her play with other dogs until we got her allergies under control. She’s doing a lot better physically and had been playing well with dogs, mostly only played with dogs she really gets along with. However, I took her today and there was dog siblings. Within a few minutes of walking in, I notice her and the dog with the ball stiffen up and then both start showing teeth. That’s when both I and the owner go over, but then my dog starts snapping at the dog. The other dog stopped but my dog seemed to keep snapping at her.

I should preface that she knows all of these dogs that she’s had altercations with. They don’t play very often together, but they’ve met and gotten along before. I’m not sure what’s causing this behavior since her allergies are better. She loves to go into the dog park and play, but I’m not comfortable letting her in if she’s becoming more reactive. Has anyone gone through something similar or have any advice as to how I should approach this going forward?


r/reactivedogs • • 1d ago

Vent Someone called me embarrassing today…

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142 Upvotes

My dachshund saw a squirrel while on a walk. He starts pulling to try and get it. Usually I can get him to refocus but he was just overexcited the whole walk. For context I took him to a new large open field that has an enclosed dog run in the side. We trained in the field and well 5 of the dogs in the dog run got into a brawl. He didn’t bark and still took treats but I think it stressed him out. Anyway while I was pulling him away from the squirrel some guy was like “ wow you’re just doing to let your dog drag you around like that? How embarrassing “ then walked off.and now I genuinely feel embarrassed;-; it was genuinely just a bad day for my little guy. He’s been able to be in a perfect heel for a while and has made so much progress in being neutral with larger dogs. I just cut the walk short and gave him a kong . Will be going back to more familiar routes so he’s more comfortable and can build up his confidence.


r/reactivedogs • • 15h ago

Discussion Indoor Dog Potty

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1 Upvotes

Hi Everyone,

I have a female Black Mouth Cur (55lbs) that is closing in on 6yrs old. I noticed the last few months she is unable to hold the potty while I am at work sometimes. She continuously uses it near the back door of the home when leaving her for working every few days. It is only pee, she has only dumped once in the last 3 yrs and that was when I left her a lot longer than I had wanted.

I was researching indoor potties and I am wondering if you have any suggestions for one? If I put pads, she uses it on pads but I'd be spending a lot of money on this. And I'd rather get a better long term solution. I have seen ads for turf driven units, which of course got me thinking.

I believe the nicer ones are https://k9-kennelstore.com/2-x-4-ultimate-potty-station-pro-potty-attendant.html?search_click=1 but wondering if there are any alternatives that are cheaper I can use before spending more money you have used.

Thank-you for your help and I included a nice picture of her. :)


r/reactivedogs • • 19h ago

Significant challenges I (29F) am struggling to cope with my rescue dog and don’t know if I can do this anymore.

2 Upvotes

This is a long one. I’m UK based and got my Romanian rescue with my partner in May 2025, when he was around 6 months old. He’s a beautiful black mix with a white chest patch, around 23kg. He kinda looks like a mix between a lab, and german shepherd. I suspect he may have been over-socialised in the Romanian kennels, as he absolutely LOVES other dogs and struggles with frustration when he can’t get to them.
For the past year and a half, we’ve worked on his training every single day, sharing the load of what has been a really heavy and exhausting journey. I’ve spent hundreds of pounds on 1-to-1 training sessions with a fantastic ‘balanced’ trainer who has taught us so much. We really have come a long way, and I’m proud of the progress he’s made.
He’s incredibly smart, loves agility and is very food-motivated (chicken is his absolute favourite high-value reward!). He now walks pretty well on the lead, 80% of the time, which is a huge improvement from where we started.
However, his lead reactivity is still incredibly difficult to manage. His threshold for reacting when he sees another dog is around 40 feet, and when he kicks off, it is physically difficult as well as emotionally. He’s desperate to play with other dogs, and off lead he’s generally very friendly, but he becomes so fixated on them that he’ll follow them rather than come back to me.
We also tried a chemical castration implant to see whether reducing his testosterone would help with his desperation before committing to surgical castration. I do think it made a difference, because the implant is now starting to wear off (it lasts up to around six months) and I’ve noticed his behaviour getting worse again.
He is genuinely the most alert dog I’ve ever met. He is pretty anxious and seems to be constantly scanning his surroundings, and if he smells cats in the back garden, he kicks off. He also struggles with impulsivity in everyday life. Counter-surfing and picking up tissue/random items to chew, is a constant battle. I have to be watching him all the time to prevent him from getting into things.
He has also always struggled to settle. This has improved with time and training, but he still relies heavily on his routine and exercise. If he doesn’t get his walk, things can get really difficult, and I feel the pressure of having to make sure his needs are met regardless of how tired, busy or overwhelmed I am.
Fast forward to now, and my relationship has ended for reasons completely unrelated to the dog. We got him together, and we spent the last year and a half sharing the responsibility of managing his behaviour, training him and navigating all the challenges together.
Now that I’m facing the reality of doing it alone, I’m realising just how much the full weight of it actually is.
I work full-time and earn around £29k a year. I’m not on a particularly great salary for a single person living independently in the UK, so I also have to consider the financial reality of paying for everything myself, alongside the time and energy required to care for him. I can’t realistically afford endless training, 5 days of a dog walker or other paid support to make life more manageable.
I love dogs, and I love having a dog. I enjoy the lifestyle, the companionship and the responsibility and I have dreamed about having a dog since my childhood best bud crossed the rainbow bridge in 2016. But I’m struggling with the reality of having *this particular dog*, with his particular needs. I feel like I can never fully relax. On walks, I’m constantly scanning for other dogs, assessing distances, planning our route and trying to manage his reactions while staying calm myself. At home, I’m often monitoring what he’s doing and trying to prevent him from getting into things.
I feel awful even writing this because we’ve put so much work into him, and he genuinely has made progress. He isn’t a bad dog, and I don’t resent him for struggling. But I’m exhausted by the constant management, and I’m beginning to wonder whether this particular dog is right for me. It feels so unfair to think of returning him and eventually getting a ‘better’ dog. There were many times my partner wanted to return him through exhaustion and frustration and I fought against that and remained determined to see out the serious commitment I made.
I’m trying to be honest with myself about whether I can realistically give him what he needs while also maintaining my own wellbeing, working full-time and managing financially on my own.
**Has anyone else been in this position with a reactive rescue?** Did things eventually become manageable, or did you have to make the difficult decision that the dog wasn’t the right fit for you? If you decided to rehome, how did you come to terms with that decision?
I’d really appreciate honest advice from people who have been through something similar. I’m not looking for judgement or to be told to just train him more. We’ve put a huge amount of work into him, and I’m trying to figure out what is realistic and fair for both of us going forward.


r/reactivedogs • • 1d ago

Advice Needed Leash reactivity

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17 Upvotes

We adopted a German shepherd mix dog two years ago; he’s now three. When we adopted him, he was on a very low dose of gabapentin for anxiety from being at the shelter and we have weaned him off these meds. For the first six months, we were able to walk him without too many issues and even take him to the park for a run but since then he has become incredibly reactive on walks and we now struggle to get him off our street without fixating on houses that have dogs. He lunges and pulls on the leash, making walks extremely difficult. His reaction doesn’t seem to be aggression as once we’re close to other dogs, he’s actually playful and friendly. It’s the reactivity on the lead that we’re struggling with and it’s obviously very intimidating for anyone walking near us.

We’ve worked with three different trainers, all have said he’s a difficult case and recommended using a slip lead. We’ve tried this along with a halter and harness but nothing has really helped.

My husband now feels we’ve exhausted all our options and wants to rehome him. The hardest part is that he’s such a fantastic dog at home; he’s loyal, loving and a real joy to have around. He’s also intelligent so I’ve always made sure he’s stimulated with brain games, scent work and command training.

I’m feeling torn because I don’t want to give up on him but I also understand how exhausting and frustrating this has become as we’ve now got a newborn.

I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar or has any advice on what else we could try before making such a difficult decision.


r/reactivedogs • • 1d ago

Vent Reactive / timid dog road trip

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26 Upvotes

My little Sasha boo. We just drove from LA to Bozeman, MT over three days. There have been times when I’ve wondered if she’d be better off with a sitter or in a well-vetted boarding/day care place than traveling with me. I wonder if this might help her long term or if this is simply too much for her.

That drive was brutal. A new place to sleep the past three nights (including tonight). Ideally we really need to be in an Airbnb where she doesn’t hear other people and she can have some semblance of a yard. Peeing and pooping is a whole thing bc she’s been too on edge in most places to go. She’s peed inside twice (all good with me I’m just glad she’s going).

She settles super well in the car, is always SUPER excited to get out of the car and explore, but sometimes we don’t make it out for about 5 minutes before she’s yanking me back to the car. We don’t have to pack up and go anywhere else for at least a week now. Sigh.


r/reactivedogs • • 23h ago

Advice Needed high drive dog nipping and biting

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2 Upvotes

r/reactivedogs • • 1d ago

Advice Needed feeling hopeless w/fear reactive ACD mix rescue - would love any encouragement or similar stories

2 Upvotes

Sorry if this is the wrong flair. Feeling very hopeless about our ACD mix that we rescued when he was 4.5 months old (in the shelter for 2.5 months). Looking for any encouragement or similar stories.

He is 14mo old now (65lbs) and in the house with my husband and me is the best dog ever. No food aggression/resource guarding whatsoever. On walks, he listens very well, watch dogs go by, walk past them, and mostly ignore them (he will turn his head; we're working on this!), great loose leash walking.

But with strangers in the house, he barks and runs towards them, tries to nip, and has extreme fear aggression at the vet. He doesn't like men and is wary of strangers. I know that the wariness is part of the ACD breed. He loves dogs, though, after being properly introduced. He's muzzle trained and gets sedated for vet visits.

We've been working with a Fear Free dog trainer and have great protocols for guests where he is able to co-exist and actually wanted pets from our friends at our most recent gathering. We also have scheduled with a vet behaviorist to see if there is anything else we're missing.

I am just feeling so tired after only 10 months of having him, and he's a big dog. I feel anxious traveling because I am not sure if the rovers we use will always be available. We tried trialing him at a dog daycare, and he didn't do well; he got fear-aggressive when the workers tried to take his leash off, etc. We have trazodone and gabapentin for him, which I plan to use in new environments like a new rover. Our previous rescue mutt was reactive and aggressive (food resource guarding, hated other dogs, didn't care for new people but warmed up quickly), but she was much smaller and older (10yrs old), so it felt more manageable?!?!

I feel guilty thinking about rehoming or BE because of the above, but he is such a great, goofy, smart dog 95% of the time, so I am hoping you all might have similar success stories or words of encouragement. Thank you for listening


r/reactivedogs • • 1d ago

Advice Needed Extremely dog aggressive, we worked so hard and got so far just for it to be undone in one moment

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2 Upvotes

I should have added she is on daily Prozac and we have gabapentin for emergencies or the vets