TL;DR: My downstairs neighbors have recently started turning their shower on and off roughly once a minute, sometimes for 3–7 hours a day, and the sound travels through the plumbing. I’m going insane with the noise and going insane trying to figure out what they could possibly be doing. Edit: And no, it does not seem to be a leaking toilet flush.

I lived for about 13 years in an apartment where the walls were basically made of paper. I could hear every single noise my neighbors made. As someone who really appreciates quiet and works with research and lots of reading, you can imagine how happy I was when I moved to a new apartment last year, which has thick walls that block most of the noise from the neighbors.

It’s super quiet. Or, at least, it was.

For the past month or so, something has changed. For some reason, my downstairs neighbors (a couple, plus the woman’s brother) have started spending hours in the bathroom turning the shower tap on and off repeatedly.

I’m talking about roughly once a minute, sometimes for three hours in the morning and another four hours in the evening (up to 2am at times). Sometimes it’s only the evening, sometimes only the morning, and sometimes they skip a day or two, but it happens almost every day.

The weird thing is that I don’t hear voices or other bathroom noises. I hear the water sounds through the building’s plumbing. If they leave the water running continuously, I barely notice it. But when it’s being turned on and off over and over again for hours, it drives me absolutely nuts.

And, of course, my brain keeps trying to figure out what the hell they could possibly be doing. Is there some kind of extremely long cosmetic procedure involving hair? Some bizarre cleaning routine? Something medical? I genuinely have no idea. What could someone possibly be doing in a bathroom that involves turning the shower on and off approximately once a minute for hours?

The worst part is that I really don’t want to have any interaction with these people.

They never come to our building meetings, and I already have a bad relationship with them for other reasons. For context, they were using my assigned parking spot without my authorization for quite a while. After I complained, one of my deliveries mysteriously disappeared the following day. I obviously have no proof that the two things were connected, but the whole situation left me with absolutely no desire to confront them about anything fearing some kind of revenge.

So I’m not looking to go downstairs and ask them what they’re doing. I’d just really like to understand what the hell might be going on, because the noise drives me crazy, AND the uncertainty itself doubles the drives-me-crazy effect. Every time I hear it, my mind starts wandering and trying to figure it out.

Any thoughts or ideas about what could possibly explain this?

And yes, I know someone will probably suggest earphones/headphones. Unfortunately, I have a chronic skin issue that makes earphones very uncomfortable, and I’ve tried quite a few kinds. Depending on what I’m doing, I can sometimes use brown noise on my computer, but that isn’t always practical depending on what I am doing.

Edit: It's not the toilet flush or the flapper, the only place I can hear voices from the neighbor is in the toilet, and I always hear the woman's voice and her opening or closing drawers in the toilet every now and then during the whole process. Believe me, after 4 weeks of this, these patterns become clear (I did consider toilet leaking in the beginning as well)

This has happened two different times now. My 81-year-old, very observant neighbor, that I used to be friends with, has driven her car towards me in an attempt to engage with me. I went no contact with the neighbor in March because she was giving me a play-by-play of my daily life. She would tell when my lights are on and off, sit in front of my home in her car etc. I have posted about it on here before.

(I know folks will likely tell me I should go to the police, but in my town you will make it in the newspaper for anything. The paper uses the Freedom of Information Act to publish a crime column that is embellished, so this would be great fodder for them.)

I’d been out of town for 10 days with family after someone had a stage 4 cancer diagnosis, and I decided to take my dogs for their evening walk to decompress. I didn’t notice the neighbor outside at her house because I don’t watch her. So I was a quarter mile up the road with my two dogs and her car whizzes by, I didn’t really think much of it, but then she does an immediate U-turn and heads right at me. It’s a two-way road, so I ran with the two dogs to the other side of the road. It scared the hell out of me. My dogs are not fast and the neighbor is a terrible driver. I thought it would be so easy for that to have gone a different way.

She’s a holdover tenant that is getting evicted, but because she’s 81, she’s squatting and I live in a state that it’s very difficult to remove a squatter from. If I didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel—her eventual eviction, I would move. But I love my house and I don’t want to move. I also can’t afford to buy the property she lives in to expedite anything either.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I hope all of us eventually get a resolution from our nightmare neighbors.

We own a townhouse that is part of a quad. The whole block is made up of townhouse quads that all have shared driveways. Our neighbors across the shared driveway are nice people, but they have a TON of vehicles.

There are only two people that live there (no children) - but they have 2 pickup trucks, a mini-suv, a sedan, and a small RV all parked around their townhouse. The mini-suv is normally in the garage, but all the other vehicles are either parked in front of their garage or in the street. They alternate around what is parked in the street (probably not to get a ticket).

Everything seems kept up for the most part, so no junker cars, but it literally looks like a used car lot.

Why would you want that many vehicles???

I’ve had issues with my neighbor for a while. I mind my own business and keep to myself, but she doesn’t seem to like me, and things have been getting increasingly hostile towards me. Especially the last three days. She’s been making fun of my weight, teeth, eyebrows, hair, clothes, basically everything. I’ve heard her call me a “big fat bitch,” ugly, and stupid while trying to get her boyfriend and another guy to agree. She’s spent hours going through pictures of me, pointing out every little detail, saying “Look at this, look at that,” and asking them to rate me. Her boyfriend is quieter, although I’ve heard some hurtful comments from him to.

At one point, one of the men sounded irritated and said, “You’ve been doing this for 3 days.” She’s even involved a child, who seemed to think yelling an insult at me was funny. I suspect jealousy because I think her boyfriend might be interested in me, but I can’t say for sure. It’s still not an excuse, it’s hurtful

Most of this I’ve heard afterward on my security camera recordings, although I’ve also seen her come outside and make comments on the footage. I’ve tried addressing it when I was outside, but they quickly went around back. I said I had surveillance, that I’ve done nothing to them and don’t even know them, and asked them to stop harassing me. I also warned that I’d call the police if it continued (thinking it would stop if I did). It hasn’t stopped.

I initially ignored it to keep the peace, but now I dread even taking out the trash. Part of me wants to sarcastically say, “did I at least get a 7 or Have we reached a verdict yet?” and walk away, but I’m worried that’ll encourage her.

I don’t want to involve the police, but I also want to keep my dignity and not feel like I’m being pushed around in my own home. She knows I’ve heard the comments, and staying silent is starting to feel worse than speaking up. I don’t want an argument, but I don’t think I should have to just put up with it either. The best way to go about this without involving a whole show or police?

I finally made a noise complaint against my neighbor and submitted video evidence + a log of disturbances. I was always told after their warning, they would get a court date and need to pay a fine. I wasn’t told until days after initially signing it that I would also be subpoenaed. Now I’m so nervous. I wouldn’t have issued one if I knew I’d have to do all this. I’ve never even stepped foot in a courthouse 😭

Long story short, my next door neighbors keep leaving their flat door open every-time they cook, resulting in the hallway and my house stinking (usually heavy fry).

I went through the friendly neighbor route and told them that it was really disturbing to come home to my whole house smelling like shit. They said they would be careful, gave me some excuse about inadequate ventilation but never actually stopped.

The next logical route was to complain through management but that alse came back empty handed as they said it was the flat owner’s responsibility and not theirs.

I’m not left with no practical options but a thirst for sweat revenge by somehow doing something that would also be “legal” and not get me in trouble but will result in causing my neighbors enough of a headache that they might finally give in and stop.

My ideas have been to blast music, cook really disgusting food and leave my door open etc but I want something more.

My boyfriend (32M) and I (29F) bought our condo about a year ago. We live in the top unit, and there is a married couple with a child (probably around 9–10) directly below us. They also have a large dog and a cat.
From the beginning, we’ve tried to be reasonable. We’ve heard them banging, making loud noises, etc., but we’ve never gone downstairs to complain or asked them to be quieter.
They, however, have come upstairs to complain to us multiple times.
One time, my boyfriend was playing music around 3 PM, and the wife came upstairs and asked him to turn it down. He did. Another time, around 10 PM on a Friday/Saturday night, the husband came upstairs and was repeatedly knocking on our door. We could see him on our doorbell camera and felt he was being aggressive, so we didn’t answer. We still turned the music down.
Then we got a puppy.
I actually went out of my way to knock on their door because I wanted to be considerate. I told them we had gotten a puppy and asked whether they could hear her crying or barking. I even showed them the setup we had for her, including soundproof blankets around her crate. The husband told me they couldn’t hear her and not to worry about it.
My mistake was giving him my phone number. I told him to text me if they ever had an issue because I didn’t want things to escalate.
Instead, I ended up getting around 20 different texts about various things, many of which weren’t related to the puppy. Eventually, I told him to stop texting me about these issues and that if he had a complaint, he could contact the HOA.
Then things got much worse.
The husband accused my boyfriend of hitting his wife’s car and committing a hit-and-run. He claimed they had cameras and evidence. I told him that if he had evidence, he should provide it to the police because a hit-and-run is a crime.
He apparently called the police (although I’m not entirely convinced he actually did), and when I asked whether the police were coming, he rudely told me that police don’t respond to incidents like that.
The damage to their car was on the side where their child gets in and out. Based on the circumstances, we suspected the child may have opened the door into my boyfriend’s car, but obviously we don’t know that for sure.
Since then, we’ve installed cameras around the back of our condo.
We’ve caught the neighbor on camera looking directly at our camera and saying “fuck you.”
There have also been numerous other incidents that are difficult to list without writing an entire novel.
For example, our dog will sometimes play with her toys, and we’ll hear them banging on the ceiling from underneath us, apparently trying to get her to stop. At this point, we’ve honestly become so fed up that we don’t even react anymore.
We aren’t intentionally making excessive noise. We’re just living in our home. We don’t throw parties, blast music late at night, or intentionally disturb them.
We’ve also tried to be proactive and considerate, particularly with the puppy, but it feels like every attempt to communicate has resulted in more complaints and conflict.
We contacted the HOA, and essentially they told us we’re shit out of luck and have to deal with it.
So, Reddit:
Are we the assholes?
Are we actually being unreasonable by letting our dog play with her toys and living normally in our condo, or should we be doing more to accommodate the downstairs neighbors?

I am not going to be able to post this without it being long, because you have to know one thing before the next. We moved into our rental 2 years ago on Christmas Eve. We introduced ourselves to the only real neighbors we have across the street within the first week. At the time it was an older couple with their son and his girlfriend who lived with them. We never really talked to them. In fact, we ran into the son and girlfriend at the grocery store one day, and you could tell they saw us first, and were obviously trying to avoid us for some reason. At first, it was just me, my teenage daughter, and ex husband, but later on, my adult son moved into our house too. My son has drug problems and has been in and out of jail. He moved back with us to try and straighten himself out, however has since gone back to his old life and no longer lives with us. The son across the street hated my son and would yell about how much he hated him to me. He also would do things like wait until 8am and then start playing his electric guitar out of his window on a Saturday. They put flood lights up to directly shine in our windows.One night my daughter was walking the dog, and the son was just sitting in his driveway, in his truck watching her with a shotgun in his hand. We called the cops a few times, and they told us that he has autism, so we should try not to agitate or engage with him. SO WHY IS HE ALLOWED TO HAVE A GUN THEN? I tried getting in touch with a crisis intervention officer and she told me that because he isn't acting out when they go to evaluate him, that there is nothing they can do. (Apparently he has been hospitalized for his angry outbursts before) The "girlfriend" of the son must have also moved out within the same time period because her and her vehicle were no longer there. Last New Years Eve, my daughter and I were home alone and kept hearing screams outside, like it was close by, but couldn't tell exactly where they were coming from. There were also parties and fireworks happening at the time, so we figured someone was partying too hard. I did go out one time when we just KEPT hearing it, and noticed the neighbors shed light on, but didn't think a lot about it at the time. (I had never seen anyone in there at night before) The parents car had been gone since before Christmas so I assumed they went to see family for the holidays. They got home New Years day and you could hear the 3 of them fighting but couldn't make out what was being said. However, when I would look over there, they would be facing the shed and gesturing towards it. My immediate gut feeling was like he murdered or kidnapped someone. He has put cameras pointing at my house, and "Posted" signs up because he thinks WE are going to try to come snooping around his property. What would you think? And how would you handle this situation? Just today, the delivery guy gave me a package for them. The son was outside and I almost walked it over, even started to, but I yelled for the delivery guy to do it before he left. Now there is a new "posted" sign up. Because I ALMOST walked over there with THEIR package. I'm not the only neighbor he has issues with either. Another woman was walking past their yard one day with her baby in her arms, and he screamed in her babys face to get out of his yard and they weren't even in it. His parents don't do anything but allow it. And we, the neighbors, are sick of this "neighborfromhell"

Like 2 years ago a couple with a baby moved in next door to me. The woman was very polite and seemed to handle everything around the house/yard. The man was always getting into trouble, police at the house all the time, overdoses, he fell out of a moving vehicle at the corner of our road once trying to get out of his buddies car while fleeing the police and ended up in the hospital/jail for a couple months.

6-8 months ago the woman seemingly moved out, as I haven't seen her other than what I'm assuming is her dropping off/picking up their child. And it appears as if the guys parents have moved in with him now. And they're always arguing and getting physical with each other.

Before I go any further, I want to say that I live in a city and our houses are very close together. This summer he bought a 4-wheeler and started taking his kid for rides on it through the neighborhood(illegally at that, not registered, no plates). The kid is like 3 and this guy drives that thing like a maniac. The part that really bothers me is he comes flying down the street, into his yard and whips that thing between his house and my driveway where my cars are. There's so little space there that he's coming up onto my driveway, inches away from my cars. I feel like its only a matter of time before he hits one of them.

Recently he's started using my driveway to turn around his lawnmower while he's moving, leaving all of his grass clippings and leaves all over my driveway. So then I got to go out there and blow it all back into his yard. Dude is just an idiot and inconsiderate. I've been so close to just going off on the guy in recent weeks and telling him how shitty of a neighbor he is. But he's like twice my size and I've witnessed his anger and willingness to get physical with people.

I don't know what to do. Do I just keep letting all this stuff happen and quietly deal with it? Do I say something to him? Are there any other options? Am I just being the old man(I'm 40) who says "Get off my lawn"? WWYD? TIA

I live in a unit block with 8 units. Our block is super simple, a driveway and down one side of the property and at the end is grass and some gardens. My unit is all the way at the back and on ground floor, which is near the grass area. I’m a 27year old female and bought it 3 years ago. When I first moved in there was no problems. One of the owners then let her son live in the unit which is right next to me and there has been problems ever since.

He’s jobless and apparently has mental health issues, he doesn’t work and he’s home all day. His friends are junkies and I’m not saying that to be rude, they are drunk, high on drugs and aggressive. The come over at all hours of the day and night. Slam his doors, walk around the block with a speaker blasting music, throw rubbish, smash wine bottles that they’ve just finished, they have thrown rocks at my windows just because I’m looking out and they happen to be standing right outside my bedroom window in the grass area, they have set up tents and camped right behind my bedroom window in that grass area, they walked around with huge fish gutting knives, steal everyone’s washing from the communal clothes line, just the other day one of them in the middle on the night was leaning up against my bedroom window and starting screaming, I woke up and yelled at him and he held a knife to my window and said he’s going to come inside and kill me. Called the police and told them and they could hear him screaming in the background. No police show up. In fact, I have called the police multiple times and they never show up. Huge fights happen in his unit, you can hear things being smashed and people screaming and I call the cops and they never show. His unit has been raided by cops for drugs a few times more than a year ago but nothing recently. Another time he lured a man from tinder to his house, pretending to be a girl, and had an ambush waiting inside and they stabbed a screwdriver through the man’s face, stole his car keys and his wallet. It’s never ending. The other people that live here are too scared to speak up as they have all been threatened before and are older, they keep to themselves because they are scared. We have been to body corp and had a meeting but his mum was there too. Body corp basically said get over it, they can’t do anything if we are annoyed with someone’s personality… We finally got cameras installed and I have saved lots of footage but it’s heaps of different people causing these problems and it’s his friends, not him. The son who lives there doesn’t leave his unit. What can I seriously do.

I live in Tweed Heads, Australia.

My neighbors have been a nightmare for the last 3 years.

I’ve been renting my house for the last three years, and ever since day one, our neighbors have been an issue.

I work a lot of hours to afford nice things, so when the movers were bringing in my 75-inch TV, the father of the neighboring household looked over, said pretty loudly, “Must be f****** nice,” slammed his car door, and went inside.

Okay, weird, but whatever.

A while later, we were playing fetch with our dog. My dad, who lives with us, threw the ball, and it bounced into their yard. He went over to ask for it back, and when the father opened the door, a cloud of weed smoke practically hit him in the face.

My dad asked for the ball, and this dude started ranting about how his wife had cheated on him and left him, along with a bunch of other personal drama.

We eventually got the ball back, but… what the actual fuck?

Fast-forward two weeks, and I guess the wife has returned because she starts pounding on our front door at 8 a.m. I answer, and she immediately goes off on me about wasps on the side of our house. Apparently, seven of them had stung her, and we needed to get rid of them or she was going to sue us.

I basically said, “Okay, crazy lady,” and closed the door.

To be fair, I did spray for the wasps and got rid of them. But the entire time I was doing it, their son was standing outside staring at me with the most intense Kubrick stare imaginable. Think Vincent D’Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket. Just standing there, silently watching me like he was about to snap.

Then, that same afternoon, the wife comes back and starts pounding on my door AGAIN.

I answer, and she launches into another tirade about how I needed to be careful because the wind could have blown the wasp poison onto her son.

I finally told her to get off my porch and go home.

Now, the last incident is probably my favorite.

I used to go all out with Halloween decorations in my front yard. Gravestones, an inflatable black cat, hanging ghouls—the whole thing.

One day, I found a note taped to my front door saying my decorations were tacky and that I had 24 hours to take them down or she was calling the cops.

Of course, I ignored it. I kept the note, though.

That night, my Ring camera sends me an alert that someone is at my front door. I open the app, and what do I see?

This woman is out there absolutely trashing my Halloween decorations.

I immediately call the cops and explain what’s happening. By the time they arrive, she’s already gone back inside her house.

Luckily, the officers could see the destroyed decorations, the holes she had stabbed into my inflatable black cat, and the footage from my Ring camera.

They went over to arrest her.

The entire time, she’s screaming at the cops and claiming I set her up. She even accused me of “trying to spray her son with poison.”

I’m just standing there thinking, Lady, you threatened to sue me over wasps, harassed me twice in one day, threatened to call the cops over Halloween decorations, and then destroyed my property on camera. How exactly did I set you up?

Thankfully, they eventually moved away.

Thank Christ.

Three years of dealing with these people, and I still have no idea what their problem was. I just wanted to live in peace, enjoy my house, and put up some damn Halloween decorations.

Anyway, I figured Reddit would appreciate the story because I genuinely couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

I'm in a unique situation and I'm looking for advice that protects the safety of myself and my dog.

Today, I had come home from the grocery store. I brought in a load of groceries from my car and closed my car while I was inside. I was getting ready to head back outside to grab the rest of my groceries when my neighbor walked through my door, uninvited, and my groceries in hand. I was so spooked that I screamed, and he said "here you go" and left. He apparently went into my closed car, grabbed some groceries, and brought them into my house, unasked or uninvited.

Context about me and my neighbor: I knew this man lived in my neighborhood, but I did not know he was my next door neighbor until I called my landlord and reported the incident. We had interacted three times previously. The first time, I said hi to him and his only response was to flex at me like a bodybuilder. The second time, he stopped me on a walk around my neighborhood to only ask if I lived in the neighborhood and where exactly where I live. The third time, I ran into him on a walk through my neighborhood and he tried to corner me (crossed the street after me, tried to force me into a spot where I couldn't get away). Needless to say, he's given me the creeps since we first met.

Also, when I spoke to my landlord, I found out this man has a long history of burglary and home invasions in our neighborhood. He committed a home invasion against my landlord. I was told he does not have a history of violence.

I called the cops after speaking with my landlord and had a no-trespass issued against my neighbor. While this is a positive step, I am aware it is just a piece of paper and does not protect my safety

Needless to say, I am pretty spooked. I am afraid this man will come back into my home. I am also afraid this man will become violent at some point. He was described to me as unstable and I do not know this man well at all. My interactions with him have been uncomfortable at best, and he crossed a pretty serious boundary today.

I have taken some steps to help regain safety. I have installed security cameras, all doors and windows are locked, blinds are drawn, and I am sleeping with my phone and keys by my bed for a quick escape.

My ask: I am wondering what else I can do to ensure my safety? My parents live out of state and have offered to allow me and my dog stay with them for a while. Do I take them up on it? I am looking to move anyway, and this has clearly accelerated the process. I am just wondering if I should wait until I secure new employment to move, or if I should get out now.

Thank you for your help!

We complained about our neighbors dogs being out for hours barking and they threatened to send a biker gang to our house and then put up a bunch of cameras, one of which looked right into our yard and back windows. When you walk onto the back deck it lights up. We blocked it and then they moved it up so clearly they want to watch us. We’re in metro Detroit MI and not sure what to do from here!

Ive been finding tire marks along the edge of my front lawn for the past couple weeks. first time i ignored it but now theres a patch where the grass is completely torn up. my driveway is right beside it so im guessing someone keeps using it to turn around when im not home.

I dont know if its a neighbor, delivery driver or someone else and i dont wanna start accusing people. Thinking about putting a Wyze cam facing the driveway so i can see who's doing it. At this point id rather know what keeps happening before spending more money fixing the grass.

Has anyone dealt with this before? Im not even sure what to do besides putting up a camera and waiting to see who it is tbh, but how would yall handle it?

My wife and I have owned our house for a few years, and we have cameras on each side..front, backyard, and sideyard where our gate is. Never had a single complaint from any neighbor, even the owners of the house next door. Our neighborhood is sort of a "young family/affluent" vibe..lots of kids and moms with strollers. Owners next door decided to build an illegal/unauthorized separate basement unit in the side yard next to us before they moved out of state to rent the main house and illegal basement separately, and basement usually gets rented to pretty shady tenants. 2 months ago, I found out it was illegal, and reported to the city..it is now in the process of being shut down.

Back to the tenants..they hated our side yard camera from day 1. Flipping it off, flicking lit cigarettes into my side yard while looking into the camera..one night they even spent 30 minutes pointing a laser pointer into it for about 20 minutes straight. They are like 50 btw, not 12 years old..covered in tattoos and smoke all day. I documented and recorded all of it but never did anything. Oh, and the tenants never even tried to talk to me once..just went full war on my camera the second they moved in.

Now, they are moving out in about 2 weeks (eviction), and they left a huge sign on their wall that says I have 3 days to take the camera down (violating their privacy or whatever..the audacity), before they call the police. Again, they will be gone in a few days. Also, my camera is legally mounted on my own house angled at my side yard gate, which gives the same view/vantage point as a second story window looking into the yard. I was really just gonna let it slide, especially with them moving out soon. But if they involve the police, I am planning to turn over all the video footage of them trespassing, vandalism, and property damage that I have recorded, and say it's funny that THESE people are the ones who have a problem with my camera and their privacy. When they have been a textbook example of why people have security cameras in the first place.

AITA/WWYD?

This woman has spent the last six years torturing me with her relentless need to blow every speck of debris from her property using the world's most annoying, screeching leaf blower.

She is out there day after day for hours. What the fuck is she even blowing???? She was out there yesterday, blowing. She was out there the day before, blowing. She's out there again, blowing. Her property isn't even that fucking big!

I cannot imagine spending my retirement using the worst piece of yard equipment, for hours at a time. I guess this is what happens when you never leave the house and have apparently no interests or hobbies besides blowing shit around.

Tried asking her, actually begged her, to stop doing it so frequently, and she screamed at us that she has to keep things neat and that there's debris. Do I have to live in noise cancelling headphones to get any peace?

The weather is beautiful, and I can't enjoy the last few moments of warmth because I cannot stand the noise. And when she's not using the leafblower she's screaming at her obnoxious, yappy dogs.

I cannot wait for her to disappear off the planet. I fucking hate her.

I live in a housing co-op in the province of Quebec, and there’s an older member who has a habit of interfering in what other people are doing, giving unsolicited instructions, and sometimes raising his voice when people don’t comply.

During a recent volunteer cleanup, another member and I were helping a neighbour move an old fridge when this man interrupted us several times to tell us to do things differently in a bossy way. We know him, he’s always testing people’s patience and some aren’t having it and try to avoid him because he is old so they try to avoid situations that escalate. When we didn’t follow his instructions, he shouted at us. We were handling a heavy appliance, so the timing was particularly inappropriate.

Other members have had issues with him too. Some eventually shout back, while he seems to adopt the victim role afterward. I prefer not to engage in that kind of behaviour, but I’m concerned that being respectful is interpreted as weakness.

I’m considering proposing a general code-of-conduct reminder through our co-op’s good-neighbour committee, including clear boundaries around giving orders outside one’s role, yelling at other members, and possible consequences for repeated abusive behaviour.

Our board is currently in a difficult situation, so I’m also wondering how best to approach this constructively.

I didn’t appreciate the interaction, I came to help that day and as a matter of fact, was helping another elderly person throw away an old fridge that wasn’t even part of the cleaning but wonder if from here on I should just stop participating in these gatherings because half of the co-op doesn’t show up and giving time and effort to deal with that kind of nonsense seems stupid. I tell myself I should’ve put him back in his place but also think it’s not very classy to yell back at an elder. When you look at resources for such situations, they seem to consider only elders are victims of abuse but they are sometimes perpetrators and while I feel there are underlying issues that could cause this, I also feel one doesn’t have to deal with this.

How would you handle this? Would you address the person directly, push for a formal code of conduct, or simply disengage?

TW: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Hi I recently moved to Australia from another country and am kind of new to the culture here after 8 months ish. My apartment has been pretty quiet and peaceful until this Australian couple moved in (the real estate agents have filled me in on some details)

On the first week, the wife came out screaming that her husband was going to hurt her and kept screaming for help. Encountering this for the first time in my life, I was super scared and called the police to come over. I also live alone as a short female so hearing what happened outside my door, I was scared too. The police came to knock on their door and the wife suddenly came out saying that its not from them but its other neighbours fighting. Just like that, the police left

A few days ago, they suddenly started fighting again. she came out saying “You cannot say this sh\\\*t to a pregnant woman and I dont feel safe around you when I have a baby in me” then it escalated to her shouting at her husband to grab the baby as it was going to fall off the balcony. In a split second, the dad JUMPED DOWN instead. My other neighbours literally witnessed the fall and ran down to call the police (i think because they pulled up real quick). Afterwards, the wife locked herself and their baby in the apartment and the police tried to intervene again but the wife kept denying that anything happened. The husband came back home a day later and they just continued their day as usual from there💀

The police also found out that the wife had placed a restraining order on her husband a while back but now just got a new apartment with him and is about to give birth to their second baby. Every night, I’ve been hearing their baby screaming or sometimes the couple being aggressive to one another. I’m not sure if I should call Child Protective services or only call them when another big fight happens again. my fear is that when something happens again, it would be too late and someone would be seriously hurt.

all these happened in the span of 2 weeks 😭

I think I really need advice on what to do and how the law works here as this is the first domestic violence case i have seen in my life and in a new country 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Earlier this month, my family and I noticed a house around the corner of the street having one of those green "SLOW!" kid alert signs on the side of the road in front of their house. On top of the sign itself, it also had two paper signs attached to both the front and the back. One of the signs, resembling an actual speed limit sign, indicated that the speed limit was 15 MPH. The following sign said "ESPECIALLY [car models my family owns]!" Shortly afterwards, we received a 'first notice of non-compliance' letter from the HOA about several reports of vehicles from my household speeding at 45 MPH, and we would be charged for any further complaints. We obviously have reason to believe that said reports have come from the aforementioned house.

To give a bit of context, none of my family ever recalls speeding through our neighborhood (typically we go 25 MPH, the effective speed limit for residential areas according to our state law), let alone going 45 MPH. It is worth mentioning said neighbor lives on the corner of a very sharp turn leading to a decently steep hill, thus we literally wouldn't be able to be going 45 MPH in front of their property. Also, none of our neighbors have confronted us about the matter beforehand, so we were unaware of any problem.

An email was sent back to the HOA at 10 P.M. demanding evidence of the alleged speeding and concerns about the "SLOW!" kid alert sign posted by our neighbors (including a picture of the sign and raising question about the legality of its placement past the asphalt), public hostile targeting of our family amongst our neighborhood, and potential discrimination (we are the only asian/brown family in a predominantly white neighborhood). Like clockwork, by 8 A.M. the next morning the household that had the kid alert sign took down the sign referencing the cars my family owned as well as the 15 mph sign now saying "SLOW DOWN." Keep in mind, our email was sent to the HOA and no other recipients. The HOA responded back 6 days later providing the dates and times of the complaints, claimed that all reports are handled fairly (with little credibility), and coincidentally couldn't open the file of the photo evidence of said kid alert sign targeting us, requesting an additional picture.

After the first complaint, we made it a point to slow down when we're entering and leaving our neighborhood, but it seems that not only this initial household but two others have put up this little green kid alert sign on our street in solidarity today. We're currently discussing moving to a place that is not so hostile towards us (this is our only case of having a problem with our neighbors after 16 years of being in the same city), but I hate the idea of letting these assholes be assholes and ridding brown people out of the neighborhood. What should we do?

I’ve been living in an apartment on the fourth floor for a couple months and our downstairs neighbors constantly blast music with the bass turned way up. Sometimes it’s on weekends and sometimes weekdays, up until 2, 3 or 4 in the morning. It’s kept us up a few nights. The other night we called the cops because at around 4am we were still hearing it and they turned it down. But the last few nights they’ve still been playing it. At this point I thought about going down there myself but if they’re ballsy enough to ignore the police, who knows what they’d do to me if I went down there. After 10PM where I live you can call the non-emergency police to file a noise complaint so that’s what I’m going to do tonight AGAIN if they’re still playing it. But if they didn’t listen the first time, I’m thinking they won’t again. Should I reach out to the leasing office at some point? There’s no way they can keep getting away with this.

Neighbor called my landlord to complain about the man who lives across the street, who also rents from my LL. Claims he was digging up her yard when the county came out and did so. My LL used this chance to discuss some of the problems I’ve had with her and her dog. The dog has bit me I. The past over the fence line and is an absolute terror. Barks all hours of the night I can not come within 2 feet of the fence.
Whilst on the phone with him she told my LL that I beat my wife to the point she lost a child. That I’ve thrown my mother to the ground. None of this has ever happened I’m not even married. Just very upset and unsure what to do.
My mother tells me she’s been standing at the fence like in the shadows with a firearm when my animals approach the fence line.

So i’ve posted a few times in various communities about my upstairs neighbor from hell. She moved in with her now two year old daughter almost a year ago, and excessive stomping and running late into the night (2am) was becoming a pattern.
So after a few calls to the landlord from me and some from her after she became petty when i would bang on the wall then tell on me for it (my landlord would always tell her to quiet down then), i thought things were somewhat getting better.
Fast forward to 9am a few days ago during the week, my boyfriend and i had a little argument before i left for work. It lasted under five minutes, then i got in my car and left. My landlord called me two minutes into my drive and asked if everything was okay. I said yes and that my boyfriend and i had a small argument, and to tell the upstairs neighbor i was sorry about that because obviously that’s why my landlord was calling. All was good, i went to work.
About an hour later my boyfriend calls me and says the cops showed up shortly after, saying they got a call someone was”trapped” and they needed to search the home to guarantee nobody was hurt or dead.
So finally i messaged her on facebook and sent her my number and told my landlord i was doing so after she called. He was so confused as well and said he was going to call her because why would she call when she already called him?
It is a duplex so it’s just the two of us here, and my neighbors aren’t close enough where they could’ve heard the small disagreement. Insane!!! My landlord does not like when the cops get involved, he told his upstairs tenant across the street he couldn’t renew her lease if she continuously called the cops on the downstairs neighbor when she was loud. So, go ahead and call them! I’d love if he didn’t renew the lease with her :)

My neighbor has repeatedly put her dog poop in our trash bins every time she and her unleashed dog walk past our property. She would literally walk into our driveway to reach the bins, these bins are not outside on the sidewalk to be clear. AND the town just took the trash two days ago so our bins are literally almost empty!

So this has been caught on our camera many times but today we finally caught her in the act and my spouse went out and confronted her. My husband’s tone was first nice but I think he was also mad because this isn’t the first time so he said this is on camera. She then started yelling saying “this is public town trash cans! I don’t fucking care - why are you making a big deal out of this!!!” And she goes to say “this is such a white people thing for you to say! There are other stuff in the world!” My spouse just told her then to get the fuck off our property.

Like wth?! How is race even relevant at all, we are not White either. And because there are other bigger things going on the world I can’t speak up about my property? Anyway her attitude and argument were horrible and nonsense.

I recorded everything on camera too so if this happens again I think I’m calling the police.

Edits:

1. Ring camera recorded her action on cameras many times , so all on record!
2. Our town picks up trash on and we mainly caught her doing it during weekends! So yeah, literally when our bins are almost empty
3. Our town also mandates dog

s should be on leash.

And just found out the bag isn’t tied

Old NFH moved out in late July. New NFH has moved in. We are at about week 3, and I was startled out of a sound sleep this morning by them screaming at each other and slamming doors. Followed by an all day pot smoke marathon.

We then had a visitor stop by unexpectedly and knock on the wrong door. They kept SCREAMING at him through their screen door, while my husband was outside with him ( What do you want? HELOOOOO???)

Our oldest son came over for dinner tonight and as soon as he walked into our place, he was shocked at the pot smoke.
He walked in and said... ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? It reeks in here!!! (Yes, my asthma is well aware)

Oh, and my youngest son has mowed the combined front lawns FOREVER. The people who have lived on the other side just don't. This time he stepped in dog poop while mowing their front yard, and yes, they have a dog. I have seen no evidence of a lawnmower though. They have not mowed the side or back yards.

Here we go again.

As short story as possible. Basically long history with the neighbors next to me that I share an alley with. My garage and drive way are assessable through the alley and I have an addition carport I can access from the back of my house. They park in the alley daily. I had to get the roof of my carport replaced, I work nightshift so it's hard to catch them so I left a note asking to please not park in the alley until I got everything figured out. That didn't end well.... I ended up having to call the police almost daily because they continuously parked me in. Fast forward about a year, they still park there but that's beside the point. The children that live next door are always in my side yard playing. I've never said a word, even when the kids would throw objects at my fence, baseballs, bats, frisbees, everything CHUCKED at my fence. The fence is 7 ft tall, I have two small dogs that have a doggy door to get in and out because I am gone for up to 14 hours at a time. The kids lost a ball over my fence, I was not home, both of my dogs were outside. I have ring footage of the kids going into my fence to get the ball. I know it sounds dumb but am I wrong for that being what pushed me over the edge? I had to have family go to my house to ensure the gate was closed and that my dogs were still both inside. When my family asked the kids to talk to their parents, they came out of the house SCREAMING, again I have all of this on video. What do I do next? Current plan is make their lives hell, meaning call the police every time they're parked in the alley or one of them crosses onto my property? I might have some dirt that could literally make one of them lose their job, all of their licenses, do I do that? How petty is appropriate? Considering their response to the kids entering my fenced in yard with dogs was "I dont give a f***"