This is just some random thought I had for a long time , and I thought why not ramble about it At the only place it may mean something.
I think most people would say "yes, I'd like to know", when Kate offered to come clean about her crime to Jack in Tabula Rasa, S1e3. She was gonna tell him what she did, and The fact that he refused to know about it.. I always thought he was trying to create a better place and a new start for people. and I still think that, he did try to give people second chances.
But a sadder thought occurs to me, knowing that his past includes wanting to know about his ex wife's affair desperately. And getting so curious about the guy she left with, going beyond the Line and making big mistakes which hurt his ex wife, his father and himself. It is shown that he regrets things he has done in his past, in season 3 ep 1. But maybe he regretted them from the beginning.
And maybe thatâs partially why he didn't want to learn about Kateâs crime. He actually wanted to know what she did, but then He wanted to challenge his curiosity, in order to make it better. He saw the mistakes he made with his ex wife and was trying to correct it at the last scene of Tabula RasaâŚ
This thought really got me on my latest rewatch, when I was going through a similar horrible break up. It's very self reflective watching this show and I always find myself more and more aware watching his relationships decay.
..And maybe Jack was aware of his mistakes too. I actually think he generally tried to correct his mistakes in very early season 1. He kinda tried to get along with Locke, better than with his father( i.e. episode 5)... and get along with Kate, better than with his ex wife... and then weeks later, get along with Juliet, better than with Achara lmao (just kidding, but what if..? ) . Well..I think he tried , but he made mistakes again and suffered harder.
And thatâs the worst tragedy for me, when you know the mistakes you made, and you try to make it better at first, but you end up making the same mistakes again anyway. The old patterns keep returning, not necessarily because you haven't understood them, but because understanding them doesn't magically remove the fear, guilt, insecurity, and desperation that created them. Thatâs life. R.i.p. Jack.