Wueh.

So I went to westlands to celebrate my best friend's birthday last night. Needless to say I saw A LOOOOOT. From one guy being physically carried out of the club by three other people to someone falling headfirst into a toilet bowl. His pants unceremoniously began to fall down and the girl who fell in the toilet was to busy puking to notice her wig falling into the toilet.

The worst of it was watching a couple fight about eggs . Mayai pasua bro. I was peacefully smoking my cigarette when shorty slapped the living daylights out of mandem for refusing to buy her an egg. It was not a casual or joking slap . The dudes head went in two directions at once man. Two damn directions.

Alcohol never used to do this to us when I was younger. These Samsung z folds people are drinking will kill us. Just smoke weed guys.

My wife is leaving me. I always thought this is what I always wanted but that it's here, it doesn't feel that way anymore.

We had an argument, a small one. But things escalated. This is the problem of always holding things. A small pressure, then you let everything out. This is what happened. And I kinda regret it. I said things, horrible things. I told her how I regretted meeting her, how she wasn't even my first choice, how I regretted marrying her and how my life has been miserable ever since she come into it.

We have had bad days, a lot of them. Especially after I lost my job. She has tried her best, but I have always felt some disrespect. So yesterday was the day I let it all out. I don't know how I feel, I can't explain how I feel. I somehow regret. 4 years with a 2 year old child is almost going down the drain, just like that.

Now, if she stays, things will never be the same, if she leaves, things will never be the same. I don't know if this is something we can talk about and solve. I'm just in a dilemma. Please advise if possible. What can I do? Married people of Reddit, how do you manage?

I’ll admit it: I used to think PP2 graduations were a waste of time. I only went because it meant the world to my daughter, and as the only parent in the picture, I couldn’t let her down.

I was wrong. The whole thing changed my perspective, and I have a new respect for everyone in the pedagogical realm, especially the ECDE teachers.

I was blown away by the presentations and by how much these kids know. Most of us millennials from the countryside didn’t get that kind of English fluency until Class 8, 😂😂😂. Maybe I’m easily impressed, or maybe I’m biased because my daughter was up there, but I’m calling it: the whole event was commendable.

Here’s the best part. My daughter gave me instructions on what cake to buy. Apparently, I’ve been buying her round cakes for every birthday and never noticed. This time, she said, I should get a square one to say congratulations. These kids are sharp!

Hats off to the teachers. This age group is loud and only goes quiet to eat or sleep, yet they absorbed all that noise and turned these kids into poets, acrobats, models, dancers, and even scouts. It was hilarious to watch, especially with every parent standing at the front to record.

This is just an appreciation rant from a very impressed parent and a very proud dad. Teachers, you’re doing amazing work. 🙌

Kama huyu ameiba post ya u/kenyaanqueen.

Public debt just hit 13.1 trillion. It was 8.7 trillion when he came in office. Our debt ceiling of 10 trillion, made by Parliament in 2024, has been toppled.

If everyone in kenya, new borns included, according to KBS the population is 54,227,015. We'd each pay sh 241,577.01, if we were to pay today.

4 triilion increase is insane, with little to nothing to show for it. But we're the ones who will be burdened with paying.

Huyu jamaa aende tu.

I went to my barber yesterday evening and found a group of men there. Eventually, it was my turn, and I sat on the chair.

I simply said, “Ninyoe tu ile low taper nimezoea.”

The barber nodded, and I knew that today I'd be saying phrases like, “Mfiche wanawake wenu.”

As I was busy getting my shave, a dude walked in and said, “Bibi yangu ananiambia ati ninyoe hii nywele juu ni kubwa.” It was a gauge 3 hair and it actually looked good.

The men immediately burst into laughter.

Some said his hair wasn't even that long. Others claimed that some women deliberately try to make their men less attractive to other women. One guy even gave an example of a woman overfeeding her man until he gains weight and develops a huge stomach.

Then another guy said something that caught my attention.

He claimed that as long as you're living with a woman, don't even try to argue with her verbally because you'll lose. He went on to suggest that perhaps the man's wife thought another woman was telling him not to shave his hair because she wanted him to remain attractive.

At this point, I was just there listening. I'd gone for a haircut, but the men were giving me a whole new perspective on relationships.

And the stories didn't end there.

Another guy complained that having certain women in your life is like taking out a loan that you have to keep repaying.

He said, “Mara anakwambia, ‘Babe, ninunulie hii.’ Mara nyingine, ‘Nifanyie favour.’ Halafu tena, ‘Nitume pesa.’”

The men continued sharing their experiences in marriage and relationships, and honestly, I was shocked.

One guy even said that a woman could go an entire week without talking to you simply because she's angry. Imagine coming home every day, greeting someone who doesn't respond, eating in silence and going to bed without resolving whatever caused the disagreement.

The stories kept coming, and eventually, I just zoned out. I was simply trying to process everything these men were saying.

When the barber finally finished, I looked in the mirror and saw a handsome man staring back at me.

I smiled, paid my barber KES 100, and got up to leave.

He simply said, “Poa, next time.”

And just like that, I walked away with a fresh low taper.

But here's the thing: those conversations genuinely left me a little scared of marriage.

Last night, the richest man in the world, did a presentation. One whereby you get to live in the future you were promised. The new Tesla Roadster is a bad ass car. It makes James Bond and Fast and furious cars look like jokes.

Imagine a car that combines the acceleration of a hypercar, the silence of an electric vehicle, the styling of an exotic sports car, and potentially the ability to accelerate faster than many high-performance petrol-powered cars. Hol up! You don't need to, as it is here with us.

Superb features that I came across so far :

1. It can accelerate from 0-60miles per hour (0-97km/hr) in under 1 second

2. It can drive upside down using a multi-mode suction system developed from space X technology.

3. It can thrust in the air and do gymnastic like flips using cold thrusters. Basically you can fly for a while.

Our parents were graced to witness the genius brain of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, we on the other hand have Elon Musk to thank for his visionary mind.

Once production commences in 2028, two class of people will suffer.

One is the police, by the time they finish the words licence and reg ....poof your gone.

The second class is guys who only know one or two languages only. You know why? It's because, suppose history repeats itself and hypothetically, 'God' gets angry since this one common language is uniting you all to attain impossible limits, then confuses your tongues again, utaanzia square one bana.

This is to remind you Duolingo is free, learn Spanish, Germany, Russian or you can ask me out this weekend nikufunze Taita language.

With that said and done DM iko open. Have a nice weekend ahead

If you don't understand Kikuyu, it translates to "Take your clothes off " in a way.

Huyu bois anajiskia sana na hii jina , sio?

What are the craziest wifi names you've encountered?

Before calling KMD liars, ngojeni kwanza November iishe.

This was 2023 November.

There are seasons in a man's life when nothing seems to reach him.

Not words. Not company. Not even the comfort of the people closest to him.

We are taught to carry it quietly. To hold it together. To keep showing up as if nothing is wrong.

And so many of us end up fighting our hardest battles in silence.

The boy child grows into a man who was rarely asked, "How are you, really?"

So if you are a brother going through it right now, whether in your relationship, your work, or somewhere no one can see, hear this:

Put yourself first.

Not out of selfishness, but out of survival.

Rest when you need to. Protect your peace. Speak to someone you trust, even if it is just one person.

You may feel alone. You are not the only one.

I'm hosting a chess social hangout this Sunday at K1 Klubhouse. However, we're not meeting up just to play chess but we'll also socialize with conversations.

And if you've never played chess before, we'll have trainers from the chess academy who will teach you how to play. It will be very beginner friendly.

We'll also have a live band performance in the evening as part of the experience.

Most people come to our meet-ups solo to make new friends but you can tag along with someone you know.

We actually started our community a few years ago on Reddit with the objective of making new friends and we've never stopped since then.

So if you're looking for a chilled Sunday plan where you can meet new people instead of staying bored at home, you're welcome to join us.

Let me know if you're interested in the DMs or comment section

I visited 14 Falls recently and was disappointed. The scenery is beautiful, but the activities felt underwhelming and not worth the price.

Boat ride: Only about 20 metres.

Forest adventure: A short walk through a small bush, also around 50 metres.

Most frustratingly, we saw the price poster only after the tour. The bill was 22500 when I had a budget of 3k max. I had to negotiate karibu tupigane. Visitors should be shown the full list of activities and prices upfront.

If you visit, ask for clear details and agree on the total cost beforehand. The scenery is worth seeing, but manage your expectations.

Wtf is wrong with Vanessa?

Now I haven’t used Twitter for years… since like before it became X. I made a post on Reddit, knowing that one of the exhibits is not here. I was to have this discussion with him soon. But, no, she has to carry the post over to Twitter. Now the exhibit will recognize his story 😒

You guys need to learn to leave some posts alone or change the stories.

I’ve since commented on her post idk if it can be taken down but I guess

F**k you Vanessa

The posts side by side : https://www.reddit.com/r/Kenya/s/8GQ7npLHaZ

yesterday i got a chance to be interviewed by a moving company and managed to and a job. I was told to go with some specifics like a letter from the chief, two passport sized pics and photocopy of my ID. The thing is i have no funds to look for those stuffs and as little as it may look it has been rough as you can see from my previous post.

I'm supposed to deliver them today but i'm really late and couldn't get anywhere to source that cash, just asking anyone and i'll appreciate. I can provide proof. If everything is fine i'll start on Monday and after 30 days i'll be able to submit your investment of 200kes just a struggling 23 year old appealing. Thank you.

It has reached a point where I barely have the energy to interact with people in any way. I'm not sure kama ni because of tarmacing most days kutafuta janta so nakuwa socially exhausted mapema ama hii ndio depression enyewe. Nakuanga mtu introverted but not usually to this extent. So am I tired or depressed?

In the 2000 I used to spend hours in cyber cafes. I spend roughly 8 hours a day on my phone. It's a habit I will never stop. You'll have to kill me to take this phone from my hand.

Dear farmers of reddit,

Does anybody know any viable market for landrace pigs reared in a clean, habitable farm apart from Farmers Choice? Dealing with Farmers Choice is tiresome, expensive and a nuisance.

If you're into this kind of business, kindly share tidbits of knowledge on where you sell your pigs, you can also DM me directly if you're a serious buyer. Any help will be massively appreciated.

I am a party person I won't lie. I always have plans for the weekend, either with friends, my girl or just something. Today had a plan too. I badly wanted to go outside. But boy, I have a crazy burn out. I have been working relentlessly the whole week bro, getting like 5 hours of sleep. I had already changed my outfits ready to go out then as I was on the bed, scrolling and waiting, I heard myself breathe.

Brother, I was tired. I am tired. I calculated the feeling after drinking and the exhaustion that would follow. I just changed and tucked myself in.

Reminds me of a family friend who died of fatigue. He was being driven home after a very long day, only for the driver to arrive to a dead body. His heart just stopped. I am not dying but I think we should normalize taking care of ourselves. I am about to collapse but I hope I make decisions like these more and more.

If this is true, watu watalia. I've always thought the concept of dowry is so outdated. It forces people to stay together even if the marriage clearly isn't working. The man feels like he has to ride it out coz of how much he spent, the woman stays coz she feels some sense of being obligation. This will just make things worse. Just get rid of dowry

I have a friend at my workplace and whenever we have our men talk, I always trust him with some information. But, what amazes me is that I end up finding some girls asking me the same thing I told my male friend.

It's gotten so strange to a point that I just keep everything to myself. Someone said that at your workplace, you're alone. That's really true.

Yesterday, a girl stepped on my white air force in the morning and it kind of ruined my day. At lunch time my friend observed me and said, "leo unakaa tu siku yako ni mbaya".

I told him that, that day I was having the worst day of my life. I woke up late and when I took a pikipiki, a matatu nearly knocked us because it was trying to escape traffic jams. The matatu was driving at around 60 km/h on the wrong side.

To make it worse a girl stepped on my white airforce in the morning. I told him it was the girl that was seated near the pool. I was not also just feeling well. I rarely open up but I decided to trust him with that information.

You know what, when I got off from work the girl greeted me at the gate and told me she did not realise she annoyed me yesterday. She asked me if I'm still mad at her. I just said no, and knew my friend had told her.

I don't want to mention the tribe of my friend. But I've realised most people should not know a lot about you. It's better to be a closed book.

In 8-4-4, it used to be after class 8. When do y'all do it nowadays?