A file that has been building up for almost 8 months: the elders in my congregation committed a crime by obtaining private conversations to try to set up a judicial committee against me… I used my country’s data protection law to prevent it.

As the months went by, I started living the way I’ve always wanted to—without limitations and without anyone judging me for what I do. This began to become more noticeable to my congregation and others in the area. Since then, the elders have tried to talk to me. I can’t know exactly why because I haven’t agreed to meet, but for those of us who know the organization from the inside, it’s clear to me that the branch office has authorized all their moves.

With every contact attempt, I documented everything. I sent correspondence to the branch questioning their actions, and every response they gave me made it harder for them to reply without contradicting the file: I would cross-reference their responses with what the Shepherd book says and with the rest of the correspondence to find inconsistencies, and then question them in writing to the branch.

Finally, a few days ago, the elders came directly to my home. Even though my family are Jehovah's Witnesses, they didn't get involved; they just told them that if they were looking for me, they should knock on my door, which is separate from the rest of the family's house. They knew I was inside, and when they saw I wasn't coming out, one of the two elders sent me a text message saying they just wanted to hand me a letter. I decided not to answer the door.

A few days later, they came back to my home, and again I didn't go out. The next day, I proceeded to call one of the two elders who showed up—the more inexperienced one. I asked him if they had been looking for me and he admitted it; he also admitted sending me the text message asking me to come out.

That was all I needed… I told him that I had never provided the address where they looked for me to congregation records, and that they should have deleted my phone number from their records, so they had no legal justification to come looking for me. I also warned him that the next time they came by, I would call the police to have them removed, that I would seek support from authorities to file a formal report before a judge, and that my security cameras had recorded their visits to my home.

I waited a few days, knowing the elders would contact the branch about this. When I felt the time was right, I reported these events to the branch as a potential breach of my personal data protection for accessing my info without consent…

This took a file that was already sensitive to a whole new level. Now, legally, the branch must answer why the elders were looking for me, and they must justify how they obtained my personal data without my consent.

Their response is pending; they have about a month to reply.

A few days after this, the branch assigned a special pioneer to my congregation. He is set to arrive soon, apparently as the new Coordinator of the Body of Elders (COBE)…

I can’t state for sure that this is related to my case, but in the city where I live, it’s very rare for a special pioneer to be assigned to a local congregation. At most, elders who graduated from the School for Kingdom Evangelizers get assigned. But in this case, the branch is assigning an elder who holds more power and direct communication with the branch office. Furthermore, during their correspondence with me, the branch put in writing that only elders from my local congregation could access the stored data.

Again, I don't have proof or any way of knowing the real reason behind this move. What I do know is that for 8 months, the local elders have made mistake after mistake trying to form a judicial committee without success, leaving the branch office to respond in writing to every single query I raised about the elders' actions from a legal standpoint.

Maybe it was time for them to send a special agent, I don't know; but as soon as I find out, I'll let you know.

to anyone reading this i need help. im a daughter of an elder and im 17. but theres this man in my circuit who is obsessed with me and stalks me. hes 21.

im being serious. at first he was my "friend". i used to be in this friend group where it was just a bunch of young adults and teenagers. he immediately seemed to take an interest in me and he knows how old i am. but he wont stop bothering me. he pressured me into getting into a relationship with him and on one occasion, a lot of the guys in that friend group were playing truth or dare. and they kept daring him to touch me. he seemed way too eager to do it, and hugged me from the front and insisted on holding my hand for a minute. i was uncomfortable and left, and even after he saw that i was uncomfortable he just kept on going. hes also grossly obsessed with goth girls, and by the way i dress in a gothic style and wear dark makeup. i use it as a way to express myself and to rebel, but this guy is one of those creeps who sexualize goth women and he wont stop bothering me. just because im goth. ive blocked him but he makes new accounts and follows me anyway. he takes pictures of me and wont leave me alone. him and his friends are also misognistic assholes. i heard them making sexual comments about me. i have no idea what to do, i rejected him but he doesnt get the hint. hes also under the delusion that i like him back but ive repeatedly told him no. i tried everything. i said that im not ready for a relationship and that im too young. i told him that i feel pressured by him. i tried to cut contact with him. but even then he still wont. leave. me. alone. please help me anyone. i asked my dad for help and he said that theres not much i can do. theres an assembly coming up, of course i have no choice but to go and this creep is going as well. he also literally said he was going to look for me. i feel very frustrated and disgusted right now. how does no one else see that theres something deeply wrong with this?

I came across this excerpt from a talk recently delivered at a Jehovah’s Witnesses assembly in Angola, and I thought it deserved some discussion.

https://reddit.com/link/1xcl4oy/video/rlmmwy66a1xh1/player

As you can see, the speaker acknowledges that the Governing Body’s rules may have contributed to some people’s deaths. At the same time, he suggests that these doubts may be linked to apostasy when someone asks: “Did many people have to die before you made that decision?” He also mentions the change in the organisation’s position on higher education.

What stands out even more is the warning: “Don’t go to YouTube!” The talk largely revolves around portraying former members as agents of the Devil.

This is the second recent talk from Angola that I’ve had the opportunity to watch and respond to on my channel. It seems that many people in this African country are waking up. Some people I’ve spoken to there suggest that many have already woken up; they just need to take the next step.

Going back to the talk, the speaker discusses how Satan misled Adam and Eve, ultimately leading to their deaths. So, why not draw a parallel? The Governing Body also established rules that led Jehovah’s Witnesses to refuse blood transfusions, and many people have died over the years. Can we say that both Satan’s ideas and the Governing Body’s directives have had deadly consequences?

There is another very important detail: transfusions using specific blood components are an option in countries where the necessary medical resources are available. In Mozambique and other countries with fewer resources, whole blood is still used for certain transfusions. Not every hospital in the world has the facilities to separate and store blood components for later transfusion.

In other words, the light has only reached those who have access to these resources. In poorer countries, medical limitations remain a reality for Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I would also like to mention a statement from South Africa’s Department of Health that I had been hoping to see published in the JW Pressroom, the organisation’s official media platform.

Here are the videos in which I respond to talks by Bethel representatives at recent assemblies:

Video 1: https://youtu.be/yiMjxJ6TeXA

Video 2: https://youtu.be/LJUTGEWRubg

The videos are in Portuguese, but YouTube now makes it easier with automatic dubbing. Just enable automatic dubbing in English or Spanish, depending on your language.

What is it with JWs getting married between the ages of 18-20, sometimes even younger with parental permission, I saw a girl get married at 17 a few years back at the courthouse.

They expect us to take our time and choose wisely (I hate that song) but theres the pressure to get married so young before all the “good ones“ are taken and the competition is rife.

At that age my parents had taken me to go need greating so I didn’t feel the pressure so much to get married so young, I didn’t get married until my late 20’s. But I hate that it’s so normal for kids to get married at that age - just so they can have sex and hang out without a chaperone or to settle down before it’s too late.

i wonder if the theory about how marriage might not be allowed in the paradise may also be pushing people into marriages because if the end comes and marriage isn’t allowed afterwards they’d have to be single forever.

I don’t like it at all. now in big cities like NYC or Chicago it isn’t unusual for JWs to be married in their late 20’s or 30’s, back in Sydney where im from it’s a mixed bag but nobody will blink an eyelid if you’re married so late. But in the southern US where I live it seems you’re doomed a spinster at 25. I hate it so much and it’s created so many disastrous marriages and robbed opportunities for many.

So an avid pimi was trying to suggest that the amount of CSA reported in the Australian royal commission shows jws made up 1.7 % whereas Catholics made up 62% implying the jws are better.

When you look deeper at the data and the average amount of members and the incidents over the time span.

You'll see that jws had a 28x higher rate per member over the catholic for CSA.

You'll know them by their fruits.

I recently had a conversation with an older Jehovah’s Witness who insisted that the Governing Body never actually said the end would come in 1975. According to him, “SOME” brothers merely believed that the completion of 6,000 years of human existence might coincide with the end.
Now, I wasn’t alive in 1975, but I’ve read some of those old publications. My father had quite a collection of them. And one thing I’ve come to understand about the Governing Body is that they rarely need to make an outright declaration to get their message across. They often communicate in ways that leave room for plausible deniability. In other words, they can strongly influence what people believe or do while leaving themselves enough room to deny having explicitly instructed anyone to believe or do it.

Take the COVID-19 vaccine, for example. If I remember correctly, the Governing Body never issued a blanket instruction that every Witness must get vaccinated. But there were repeated statements about the high percentage of Bethel members who had been vaccinated, reminders about respecting governmental authorities, and other messages that clearly signaled the direction Witnesses were expected to lean. Nobody needed to say, “You must take the vaccine.” The message was already being communicated through repetition and implication.
And personally, I think this kind of influence can be even more powerful than a direct instruction.

Think about a child growing up with two parents. If one parent wants to turn the child against the other, they don’t necessarily have to say, “I want you to hate your father” or “I want you to hate your mother.” All they have to do is consistently present the other parent in a negative light. Over time, those repeated impressions become the child’s understanding of that person. The child eventually arrives at a conclusion that feels entirely their own, without realizing how much that conclusion has been shaped by what they’ve repeatedly heard.
This, to me, is one of the most powerful ways Jehovah’s Witness culture is established and maintained.

Through magazines, illustrations, videos, and meeting demonstrations, Witnesses are repeatedly exposed to carefully constructed images of what a “good” person looks like versus a “bad” person.
The good person dresses a certain way, speaks a certain way, smiles a certain way, thoroughly enjoys jw activities and displays recognizable JW mannerisms. The negative examples, meanwhile, might have unconventional hairstyles, ripped jeans, or other characteristics associated with worldly people. Even when there is no explicit rule against something, the visual messaging can create a powerful cultural expectation.

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with spiritual activities, smiling, or speaking gently. My point is about the associations being created through repeated exposure.
When you repeatedly present certain behaviors as virtuous and others as undesirable, people gradually internalize those associations. Eventually, they begin to judge themselves and others according to standards they may never have consciously chosen.

And that’s the deeper point I’m making about 1975. The question isn’t simply whether the Governing Body explicitly declared that the end would come that year. The more important question is: What expectations did their publications create, what conclusions were ordinary Witnesses encouraged to draw, and who should bear responsibility for those expectations?

Because you don’t have to explicitly tell people what to believe to shape their beliefs. Sometimes, all you have to do is control the examples, the narratives, and the messages they’re repeatedly exposed to.
And when those beliefs become deeply ingrained, people can mistake organizational conditioning for their own independent judgment.

Hey everyone, I wanted to get some opinions from people who know how this works in the organization.

My fiancée and I had a JC about a year ago because we admitted to inappropriate touching. We were both removed as pioneers and had restrictions for about three months. We’ve been without restrictions since the beginning of this year.

We’ve continued our relationship, and we’re planning to get married in about two weeks. The thing is, we’ve both started waking up recently. We’re still in the process of figuring things out, but mentally, we’re no longer where we used to be when we were PIMI.

My fiancée will need to move to my congregation after we get married. She’s already told the elders in her current congregation that she’s planning to move, and they’ve been trying to contact her by call and they insist on not texting. This is making her anxious because she doesn’t know what they want to discuss.

She’s worried they might try to reopen the judicial committee or question us about our relationship again simply because we’re getting married. She knows she can decline a conversation, but she’s also concerned about her family being left behind in that congregation. We know how information can sometimes spread through the congregation, even when elders are supposed to maintain confidentiality.

So, I have a few questions:

Is there an official procedure that allows them to reopen a case under these circumstances, or would there need to be new information about wrongdoing?

What do you think they actually want to talk to her about? Could it simply be related to her moving congregations, or is there a chance they’re looking into something else?

We’re not looking to create problems or get into an argument with the elders or have them reopen the committee, the plan is to fade soon with as little issues as possible. We just want to understand how the process works and what we might realistically expect.

If anyone has been through something similar, or knows what the elders’ official procedures say about reopening a judicial matter, I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences and opinions.

Thanks!

Update: She just got off the phone with the elder and he wants her to meet with 2 elders after her next meeting, it seems to me they are investigating, why else would they need to talk to someone who moves congregations with 2 elders?

I just found out that when I had an accident when I was 5 my mum told the hospital no blood (I didn’t even need it she did this pre-emptively I think)

She looked me in the face last Saturday and told me if there were no blood free alternatives and a transfusion was the only thing standing between me and death “I would choose Jehovah”

I can’t look at her
My family are not JWs but they’re all religious
And they are telling me

Your mum loves you
You never needed blood so it doesn’t matter

My cousin told me to make a list of all the nice things she has done for me

I tried but it was so painful it felt like trying to eat with an infected tooth

When I try to think about her warmly it makes me physically agitated

Most people who I tell just go
“Oh dear that sounds tough”

This has all made me think am I just being crazy for being upset? I have BPD so maybe I’m just doing it all for attention or to be a victim??

I always kinda knew this in the back of my head shed said she would say no before and I laughed it off but this is the first time we have had a serious conversation about it

She said she would have gone to court

I’m creeped out by her now she feels sinister

I really need someone to tell me their thoughts

A religion that constantly trying to demonize working and wealth as bad.

I remember watching a video in the convention where the "brother" was supposed to turn down a promotion.

There was no reason to turn down the promotion otherwise that JW really seems to hate people doing well in life.

A religion that really loves to have a thumb over the head of their members.

But I find very contradictory that at JW headquarters they love to be surrounded by luxuries.

Well the time where people could work 40 hours as mail men and afford a family of 4 with medium sized house and 2 cars is basically over.

Can I just say to everyone here, what a beautiful collection of people are on this redit forum. You all are so kind, careful with your words, empathic and caring. Everyone keeps the mad ranting to a minimum and really makes an effort to reply with wisdom, honesty and love.

I'm so proud to be involved here. Well done to everyone and please continue to help the thousands looking for support and love on here

Was this faith just taken up by a bunch of men who wanted control really early on in the Organization's Development?

Or do they genuinely not know how to have a conversation with people who disagree with them and don't know how to reason with people.

For this Blood situation, I felt there was so much they could have done to try and show care and empathy for the people who lost their loved ones.

It seems like every time they have a chance to do the right thing or say the right thing, they go towards the direction of telling people not to ask those questions?

I'm genuinely curious, where does this mindset come from? Was it like this from the moment they began, did it begin at a certain era.

I tried becoming a JW for some time and for some reason, questions tend to often not get direct answers or are just ignored.

What are they so afraid of, why not just answer difficult questions like a human being?

Like truly, I just don't get it, I feel like it would help their case too, to just be transparent, honest about things but they seem to make the decision that will make you scratch your head every time.

Am not worthy of God and his love? Because of what has happened but not being disfellowship but more like people have avoided me since I can’t focus on spirituality when I am struggling and the push that down my mouth to point where only handful contacts me and when they do they never exactly are there for me through my tough times because they try to push spirituality into my life even I can never focus on that, it goes in one ear and out the other. They never understood that.

hate they way they are taught. Stupidity is what the Org is and everyone in it, they are blinded.

When you watch JW.org videos, you realize that the mannerisms, facial expressions, tone of voice, and even the way people interact are exactly how many Jehovah’s Witnesses behave in real life.

But when you’ve been around it long enough and begin to observe things more consciously, you start noticing how unnatural it all feels. It’s almost as though everyone is following an unspoken script. The exaggerated warmth, the carefully rehearsed expressions, the constant “Oh, my brother!” and the almost theatrical enthusiasm about “spiritual things”, meetings and family worship. Everything feels performative.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve met Jehovah’s Witnesses who are genuinely natural, spontaneous, and authentic. People who don’t seem to have adopted these mannerisms. But in my experience, they are the minority. The majority seem almost indistinguishable from the characters in JW.org videos.
And it goes beyond mannerisms. There’s also this culture of carefully managing everyone’s feelings, where someone can pull you aside and say, “I’m stumbled,” and you’re almost expected to accommodate them without questioning whether their reaction is reasonable.

I don’t know if it’s just me but interactions in that environment feels and look scripted, spontaneity is discouraged, and authenticity is sometimes sacrificed for an approved way of behaving.

It’s not necessarily that these people are deliberately pretending. (Some probably are but that’s not my point) I think many have simply internalized a particular way of speaking, reacting, and expressing themselves until it becomes second nature. And perhaps that’s what makes the whole thing even more unsettling to me.

For me, one of the things I hated was never feeling like I was good enough. Even though I tried to do everything right, it always felt I was missing something and needed to do more. It was exhausting trying to keep up with it all and how restrictive it was. I was always trying to control my thoughts, emotions, how I felt about going to the meetings, study more, and I felt that if I didn’t do this I’d die at Armageddon even if it was something small. When it came to thoughts, I often had uncertainty because I didn’t know what was acceptable or not of what things to think about that would get me destroyed at Armageddon. I always hated that feeling. It just always seemed like you could lose your life at Armageddon over almost anything.

*English is not my 1st language, sorry for any mistakes
After the “new light” about the blood” (the second one) for the 1st time in my life I started questioning/doubting not even the Bible or Jehovah but the organization, specially the governing body. Then for the 1st time I read and watched “apostate” information of exjw and that’s how I got here. I already read “Crisis of Conscience by Ramond Franz, I also know about Barbara Anderson. I was a pioneer since I was 17 I just turned 38 and last week I quit pioneering, this week they gave the annuoncement and it felt really good honestly because last year i didnt event completed the 600 hours not even close, last month I didnt go out to preach even once, I literally reported ZERO hours I was hopping the elders would talked to me after a meeting or something but they didnt. Our congregation is the one with the most amount of pioneers in the circuit so maybe that’s why. They didnt want to lose a number.
Even do at that time I didnt have doubts I was like burn out, since I was 18 and during my whole 20s I was serving where the need was great and when Covid hit I realized that I didnt want to do that anymore and that I wanted to be in a normal local congregation but I didnt quit pioneering just because I didnt have any excuse to quit.
But anyways, the more I research the more most of the things I believed and I was taught since I was in first grade/6 yo seem so ridiculous. The first like 3 nights I just could sleep. I feel embarrassed and mad about the blood doctrine first of all everyone who died OMG! And second of all the frase that change everything for me “the goberning body have decided” that frase was a before and a after in my life and I now theres no coming back. And I feel so stupid because how can I posibly explain “the new light” on the blood after I defended my posture on the no blood doctrine my whole life and now because “the governing body says” (not because of the Bibie) now i change my mind?!
Now the thing is that I dont want to lose my sisters and my nieces other than that I don’t really care about anything or anyone else, so I need to be very smart. #prayforme lol

Remeber when ‘agape’ was like a whole thing about 25 years or so ago and everyone signed cards and letters with agape? Some of the cards my wife received after her surgery this year was signed with that. It drove me nuts then and drives me nuts now.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LICENSEPLATES/s/q9eJgFNPNi

Hi everyone. I’m new to this community, and honestly, I’m not even sure where to begin. I’m hoping to connect with people who might understand what I’m going through.
I was raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses but stopped attending when I was a teenager. Throughout my adult life, I’ve found myself drawn back to the organization at different times. Most recently, I began studying again, attending meetings, and genuinely trying to strengthen my relationship with Jehovah.
But something just hasn’t felt right.
I’ve always believed in God, and I still do. However, I’ve started questioning many of the teachings and rules I’ve been raised to accept without question. Things like celebrating birthdays, certain personal choices, and the idea that belonging to one particular organization is the only way to gain God’s approval or have a relationship with Him.
The more I started thinking for myself, the more questions I had. I began wondering how much of what I’ve been taught actually comes from God and how much comes from human interpretation. I’ve even started questioning the accuracy of the New World Translation and whether some scriptures have been interpreted to support the organization’s teachings.
Recently, I made the decision to stop my Bible study and take some time to explore my beliefs independently. I haven’t completely ruled out returning someday, but right now, I feel like I need the freedom to ask questions and come to my own conclusions.
One of the hardest parts has been the reactions from people I’ve known and loved for years. Instead of trying to understand my concerns, some seem convinced that Satan is influencing me or that I’m being led astray. It feels like there’s no room for an honest conversation because any doubts I express are automatically viewed as evidence that I’m spiritually weak or being misled.
That’s been incredibly discouraging.
I don’t want to lose my faith in God. I just want to know what’s actually true. I want a relationship with God that comes from love, understanding, and genuine conviction rather than fear, guilt, or pressure to conform.
At the same time, questioning beliefs that have been part of my life since childhood is overwhelming. Sometimes I feel relieved to be thinking independently, and other times I feel confused, sad, and even a little afraid.
I’m not here to criticize anyone who chooses to remain a Witness. I simply want the freedom to explore my own beliefs without being made to feel that I’m doing something wrong.
I’d really love to hear from others who have gone through something similar, especially those who still believe in God but no longer feel comfortable with organized religion.
How did you begin sorting through everything you’d been taught? And how did you deal with the guilt, uncertainty, and reactions from people you love?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. ❤️

As we all know, the change to allowing toasting uses the principle that customs that had pagan origins are fine if the practices have lost their meaning. So most have been saying that birthdays will be next. Has anyone brought this up to pimis and had them agree? Or are they still staunchly opposed? Are they waiting for the ok from GB?

Wondering because I went to a bday party last night and it was posted on FB. In the past I have been really scared to have my parents see it but this time I'm just kind of over it. So when they bring it up to me idk if I should even attempt a conversation about it or just skip to apologizing. I don't want to waste my energy arguing about it if it's a bad idea.

Please no advice like "just tell them and don't care how they react!" Because that's not my goal with my relationship with my parents. I want to have a good relationship with them.

I wonder what they are up to?

Walking into the Memorial and having twenty people hug you and tell you they missed you? It feels nice. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't.
The problem is the exit fee, even a sociologist named Andrew Holden found that a lot of Witnesses who'd otherwise leave stick around because they're scared of being shunned and losing their friends and family so how about some strategies on fading slowly while still popping in now and then for the hugs. ymmv.
Go slow. Don't just vanish one week. Cut back gradually, and if you have parts or privileges, hand them back with the most boring reason you can come up with (work, health, family stuff). Nobody gossips about boring.
Stop turning in your report. They dropped the hours requirement for regular publishers back in late 2023, so there's not even anything to fudge anymore. Go six months in a row without a report and you're counted as inactive. Being inactive doesn't get announced, and they can't discipline you for it on its own.
The Memorial is the sweet spot. Congregations have a long habit of making a big push to reach inactive ones around Memorial season, so you'll get the full welcome. Next one's Monday, March 22, 2027. Assemblies and conventions work too: lots of hugs, not much one-on-one time. Stay for the hugs afterward, but have an exit line ready (dont say: “I've got to get up early for some serious sin"), or a quick hello turns into a 45-minute catch-up in the parking lot.
Keep it surface level. Have your answers ready before you walk in. "We've missed you!!" gets "Life's been crazy but it's so good to see you." "How are you doing spiritually?" gets "Hanging in there, doing my best." Then steer to work, kids, pets, whatever. No doctrine, no Governing Body talk, no doubts, and don't confess anything.
And the big one: never say you don't want to be a Witness anymore. Not out loud, not in a text, not as a joke. Signaling that can get you treated as disassociated, and that means the same shunning as being removed.
Expect the follow-up. Showing up is basically a flare. Their own June 2020 Study Watchtower ("Return to Me") says a lot of inactive ones only came back after repeated visits from elders and others. It also says most need a Bible study once they decide to return. So after the Memorial, expect texts, maybe a visit, and probably a study offer. "Aw that's so sweet, things are just really full right now" works fine. You're allowed to say no to a shepherding call. Just keep it warm and vague.
Stuff that'll actually get you in trouble:
Thinking inactive = safe. You're still a baptized Witness to them, so if they hear about something they consider a serious sin, you can still end up sitting down with elders.
Confiding in the wrong person. Witnesses are taught that if someone won't go to the elders about a sin, they should go tell the elders themselves. That includes your bestie and your mom.
Putting anything in writing. Screenshots are forever.
Being findable on here. The 2024 changes let members say hi to removed people and invite them to meetings, but apostates are specifically left out. Get labeled one and the love bombing is over for good.
Last thing. The warmth is real, but it's also outreach with a goal, and the goal is getting you back in. Enjoy it, but if the guilt starts creeping back or you feel yourself getting pulled, take a break. Try to have people outside the hall too: actual friends, apostate meetups (is this a thing? 🤔) a therapist who gets religious trauma. That way the hugs are a bonus instead of the only warmth you've got.
Europeans: you can use GDPR to ask for a copy of what they have on you. In December 2025, Norway's privacy appeals board ruled that an ex-member was entitled to an actual copy of his data, not just a summary list. Asking them to delete everything is riskier. Their own privacy policy says they weigh deletion requests against their religious interests, including keeping data on who's a Witness, so it's easy for that to read as you wanting out. US folks, sorry.. there's no federal privacy law like that here, and a lot of the state ones exempt nonprofits. So fade at your own pace. No shame if the Memorial hugs still get you a little. Hope this helps someone 💛

I’ve recently been learning more about Steven Hassan’s BITE Model, and the more I read, the more I recognize patterns from my experience growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness.

For anyone unfamiliar, the BITE Model examines four areas of influence and control:

Behavior Control: Regulating people’s choices, relationships, appearance, activities, and everyday lives.
Information Control: Discouraging outside research, discrediting critical sources, and controlling which information is considered trustworthy.
Thought Control: Encouraging black-and-white thinking, discouraging independent questioning, and framing doubts as spiritually dangerous.
Emotional Control: Using guilt, fear, shame, or the threat of losing relationships to encourage conformity.

What stands out to me is how normal so much of this felt when I was growing up and even as an adult. JWs don’t present it as “control.” It was presented as love, protection, spiritual guidance, and doing what was right.

I left in 2022, but I’m still recognizing how deeply some of those experiences shaped me.
I never fully believed much of what I was taught. For a large part of my life, I participated because it was expected of me, and because the alternative meant potentially losing everyone I’d ever known.

Now, looking at the BITE Model, I find myself wondering how to explain these patterns to someone who’s still PIMI without immediately putting them on the defensive. Because let’s be honest…if you tell a believing JW that they’re in a cult, you’ve probably lost the conversation before it’s even started. 😑

I’m not necessarily interested in convincing someone what to believe. I’m more interested in encouraging them to examine how their beliefs and choices are influenced. I want to spark people to use their critical thinking skills and truly take a step back and examine the religion.

For those of you who’ve explored the BITE Model, what aspects resonated most with your experience as a JW? And more importantly, have you found ways to discuss these concepts with believing family members or friends without using loaded terms like “cult,” “brainwashing,” or “mind control”?

Are there particular questions, analogies, or approaches that have actually encouraged someone to think rather than immediately shut down?

I’d really love to hear what’s worked, what hasn’t, and what you’ve learned along the way.

Can’t believe I actually did it. For context I’m a 25 year old PIMO. About one year ago I had just finished pioneer school, was giving public talks out about once every other month. I was leading the group out in service every Thursday morning and going out on most Saturday’s. Now, after being a servant for over 6 years I’m finally done. I told the elders I’m planning on changing halls next month and that I request not to be reappointed. Conversation went over pretty well… just can’t believe how far I’ve come in just one year. Now I can move halls to where few people know me and can finish fading. Already haven’t been in service in months and don’t plan to go back out again.

Waking up and deconstructing over the last several months has probably been one of the most traumatic and terrifying times of my life but for the first time in months I can say to myself ‘everything is going to be alright’, and I actually believe it.

I know there will probably be some more hurdles to come in my exit but I feel now that I’ve gotten over the worst of it.

I need to know if this was legit just my mistaken assumption as a kid or I was taught it or it was implied..

It was about the wording. I knew we were a faith or belief system like others but I thought the word Religion was always linked to False Religion.

To make it clearer- I thought there was a difference between us as JWs and every other religion. I guess it fell along the lines of we have the truth/ religion is all man made interpretation and tradition.

What made this clearer to me was that we had no tradition and religion was full of traditions.

We had no celebrations and all their celebrations were basically the same syncretic rituals mankind has had/some since the dawn of time.

We had no leader and religions must have a leader. (I still hear this from pimis- to be fair not every pimi recognises the GB as leaders, they believe Jehováh is their only leader hence they stay even when they recognise the GB are wrong, they don’t care because they think they’re not that relevant to the overall truth of this being The Truth)

The religious are still ‘part of the world’ by voting or taking part in other social issues or charities etc but we weren’t.

Religions all taught that there was some kind of afterlife, heaven and hell or something closer to nirvana/reincarnation, but the constant was life after death- we believed death ends it all which felt logical and scientifically aligned to me.

So I used to tell people I wasn’t religious, I was a JW which I’m sure made no sense to people.

Did anyone else have this belief?

I’m sure I must have heard it in a talk or something even though it may not have been properly taught or written by the GB..