r/cripplingalcoholism • • Aug 16 '25

r/cripplingalcoholism Rules and Sidebar Info

52 Upvotes

Trying to make these rules more visible, as the sidebar can be so very hard to find.

Crippling Alcoholism is a group for people who accept their lifestyle choice and don't want to be interrupted by underage, weekend-warriors posting about puking at the beer pong tournament they had when Ricky C's parents went to Aruba last summer.

Are you physically dependent on alcohol? Are you psychologically broken without it? Is your alcoholism crippling? Then you probably belong here. Welcome.

Cripplingalcoholism Rules:

1. CA needs not your intro; only wants your contributions

  • So don't be surprised when your stupid radio call in post gets removed without explanation.

2. Whilst CA is a supportive sub, it isn't a recovery sub.

  • Please try our sister sub r/dryalcoholics. No, you do not have to be dry to post there.

3. CA is full of women. Don't be a fucking douche. This is your only warning.

4. CA might be irreverent and less than politically correct, but don't be a racist fucking prick.

  • Or homophobic. Or xenophobic. Or anything else that will break Reddit user policy and make us think you're a hateful jackass. Hate speech will most likely get you banned. Don't use it.

5. Typos are a horrible way of expressing intoxication

  • And for the love of god: USE PARAGRAPHS!

6. The mods are human and also CAs. We're not perfect or paid to do this job. Don't expect miracles.

  • And while we're at it (stating the blindly obvious): Respect all your fellow CAs in the sub. We all have bad days, but if you have a shit attitude all the time you're going to be shown the door.

7. If you use words like 'brah' or talk about beer bonging and jello shots... leave.

  • This isn't an enthusiast sub, Ricky. You're looking for almost anywhere else but here and will be mocked if you post.

8. Words like 'boozebag' or 'fucker' are terms of endearment here.

9. Do not link or mention CA in the wild. Also, don't draw attention to links, message the mods.

  • Linking/mentioning the sub in the wild just brings trouble home to roost. Don't do it. You will be banned.

10. CA is not for your drunk twitter/foursquare/quickmeme/Insta/facebook x-posts.

11. CA is not a borrow/lend sub. Digital Panhandling is not permitted.

  • If people want to help, they can reach out privately, of their own volition. Outright asking for money has never been a part of this sub and isn't going to be anytime soon. It allows for rando leeches to come take advantage of our good nature.
  • There are many borrowing subs already in existence on Reddit. If this is something you think you might need. Consider curating an alt not associated with any substance abuse subs for use in those those situations :)

12. CA is also not for your penchant to get drunk and argue politics.

13. CA is full of drunk internet strangers, not doctors. Don’t ask us to diagnose you.

  • If you have a serious medical issue, take it to a serious medical professional of choice at your local doctor’s office/urgent care/hospital/emergency room. Whatever is appropriate. Call 911, 999, or whatever emergency line appropriate if your issue is critical and gtf off reddit! Fuck.

14. If you could still be in high school (or equivalent), keep on moving.

  • We're not interested in the postings of toddlers playing at grown up games. You possibly do have problems, but they're different from ours. Find peers, or better yet: Quit while you're ahead. All teeny boppers will be banned, regardless of legal age in their country of origin.

15. CA needs not your miracle cure nor sketchy af alcohol analog/alternative

  • Please spare us your modern snake oil; hokum; off label; untested [street] drug; weird Chinese herb/supplement/“lab grade” whatever with little to no scientific backing that you found on amazon or the dark web and certainly no peer reviewed research on human trials. Likewise, we don’t want your suggestions for wholly unsafe alternatives to just popping to the corner store or getting door dash, such as fucking pure lab grade alcohol, to give an example. Don’t drag others into your BS.

r/cripplingalcoholism • • Jun 20 '25

There are no changes to the sub, but...

341 Upvotes

Greetings and salutations! You have found the sticky spot on the internet where unrepentant alcoholics can come for people like themselves to talk to. It's like a backwards assed AA meeting with no coffee or preachy bullshit. Just the Damned, the Fucked Off, the Cirrhosis Speedrunners and the ones at peace with this addiction to be themselves. It's a club nobody wants to join but is sometimes the only fucking place left to be honest about what The Suck is like. To all of you, I tip my hat and hold the door for you.

Unfortunately, a large percentage of those who come and post here don't fit that description. Drunk kids, weekend warriors, lightweight drinkers who think a 12 pack of seltzers a day mean you need a liver transplant, fucking college drama majors channeling Bukowski or Hunter S. Thompson, even actual larpers roll up in here on the daily. To all that fit these descriptions, I say Fuck Off. r/drunk exists. Go find your kind in there. Yall fuck up the signal to noise ratio in here.

I have been here long enough to see the same 10 posts repeated with genuine truth and honesty hundreds of times. This place aint Drunkapedia. We aren't therapists, relationship counselors, doctors, lawyers or probation officers. We don't have the answer for your DUI charge, mudbutt, new STD, texting problem, pissed off boss or parents. This is not the place for any of that shit. The dumbest fucking thing you could do is ask us how to unfuck your problems. If we were good at any of that, We Wouldn't Be Crippled Alcoholics.

So, you ask. Well Kent, what am I supposed to do? Yall sound like you get fucked up. I get fucked up too! I belong, you oldass, gatekeeping hater! Well, it's not like there's some wasted mickey mouse statue at the door saying you must be this tall to ride. I'll give you a hint. Hell, I'll give you the fuckin answer. Go Read The Goddamn Sidebar Before You Post One Fucking Thing and see if perhaps, you aren't the very first human with a keyboard to have this problem. There is wisdom, actual magic tricks, warnings written in puke and blood over there. Or dont. Just keep acting like this is a shitty cable intervention show and you're the star. This is a club nobody wants to be in. It ends with pain, loss, mental illness and death. I can name at least ten real, smart, intelligent people I knew personally who are dead as Elvis from this sub. Maybe you belong here. If so, shit sucks, huh? Welcome home anyway. If you don't, Lurk and recognize we aren't cartoons, high scores to beat, and nobody you want to become.

My name is Kent and this shit aint killed me.

Yet.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 1h ago

Why do we do this to ourselves

• Upvotes

I have been lurking and commenting here for a while but this is my first post. Obviously its 5am and I'm completely trashed. I think this is the worst of my most recent benders, it's going on about three weeks of absolute hell but I'm so happy too.

I hate this shit and myself but at the same time it feels like my only respite. I have kept up with work, family, and general responsibilities but that's the exact reason that being fucked up during all of it feels like my little happy secret paradise.

I have been so successful as of late but nothing makes me happy except for getting away with all of it while being a goddamn degenerate.

I also ran out of vodka so I'm waiting for the gas stations to start selling at 7am (liquor stores at 9 so gotta settle with the beer for now), hence the restlessness and first post.

Fuckin chairs m8s


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 15h ago

How the fuck do you beer drinkers do it

84 Upvotes

Look I like a few beers like the next guy but after 5-6 I start to feel bloated, full and nauseous. I met my boss for the first time and we went out for drinks, turns out he is a a drunk so we had a good time. But he is English and he is just chugging pint after pint, it’s water to him. 10 pints in and I’m just dying for some liquor, all I want is some vodka to settle my stomach and feel right. Like seriously how do you manage to just consume this amount of liquid every day? It’s like a fucking chore, I didn’t enjoy pint 4-10 in the slightest. Fuck beer. Vodka forever.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 2h ago

Messed up on the job

5 Upvotes

I currently started a new job, working in security as a GSOC operator. I’ve been drinking heavily in the job and am disappointed in myself because I’m telling coworkers too much of my personal life and now I want to retract.
My aunt also passed recently basically around the same time I got the job, and it’s been making things worse.
I really don’t want to mess my career up over drinking, and no one has said anything about me but I’m sure they smell it on me. I work over night but I left post early the other day and got a verbal warning for it. So I’m being monitored more closely now. I keep beating myself up because I don’t want to drink anymore. I want to be consistent with my job. I can’t keep thinking to myself “I wonder if they are talking about me..” WHO knows but I might be spiraling over a small mistake. Any advice?


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 15h ago

Feeling lucky to be alive and not in jail

39 Upvotes

So the last 48 hours have been pretty rough. I don't see a lot of live music so when an act comes in town that I want to see, I'm going to go. Love him or hate him, Marilyn Manson puts on a good show and it's a cheap GA ticket. I buy a ticket on stubhub, load up the flask and head downtown. I get in line and click "get tickets" in the email. It takes me to ticketmaster which I don't have a password saved, no big deal, reset password. Get new password, login to app, no ticket. Click get tickets, takes me to app, no ticket. The line is now at the door and cannot get the ticket to show up in the app.

I give up and walk to a bar and sit alone staring at the floor. I see one of my friends and she hugs me, she goes back to the group of friends, all laughing and having a good time. I get a lyft home.

Decide the next day, fuck you, I'll get a ticket directly through ticketmaster, have a few beers and head back downtown. I get in and immediately walk into the VIP situation and sit down at one of the tables, easily the best seat in the place. Just r/actlikeyoubelong

It's a table with 2 chairs and halfway through the show a guy standing in the GA asks me how much it cost for the table/chairs. I tell him I have no idea and I just sat down and no one questioned it and asked him if he wanted to join me. He's overjoyed and loves that I'm just sitting there without paying anything.

He buys me a beer for letting me sit with him at my VIP table. Great show, surprised at how great MM still is as far as performance goes.

Show ends and this is where it starts to get bad. I put in the wrong password on my phone too many times and it locks for 5 hours which means no lyft. I walk to the street car and get out of downtown. I get off the streetcar and wait for the bus.

Bus isn't running anymore because it's late. There's another person at the bus stop asleep. In retrospect I should have just stayed at the bus stop until it starts running at 6am, instead I say fuck it, I'll walk.

This was a bad idea. I first walk to a bar that's obviously closed and sit down outside. I should have just stayed there. Keep walking, at this point I'm having some trouble. Fell down several times. Within a few miles of home I laid down under a tree and rest. People are walking their dogs looking at me. I somehow manage to get home, covered in dirt, bleeding from scratches, covered in bug bites, a bad bruise on my hip. Lay down on the yoga mat and sleep. Wake up, fat finger the password on the phone which now locks it for 8 hours this time.

Open a beer, only have 2 left. Feeling pretty rough. I looked it up on google maps and that was a 5 mile walk from the bus stop to home. I still can't believe I made it. I haven't checked to see if I lost my flask, Flasks are meant to be lost when you think about it.

Chairs...I guess.

I


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 13h ago

Drinking a glass of water

19 Upvotes

LOL NO, it's gin. 350ml of 40° store brand gin. Never understood the shot thing. Every gulp is a shot. Never understood why people buy overprized booze either. You only need the basics to get fucking blasted.

On my way to drink 1L in less than 8 hours. I'm amazed I can somewhat properly write and not make (a lot of) typos or sound like an ESL. I'm not going outside, just going to enjoy the almost comatose buzz while doomscrolling or writing autistic rants where the algorithm wants me to.

Chairs or something. Today feels like one of those rare days when booze makes me feel nice, like the good old days.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 17h ago

Were you ever able to drink like a normal person, or did you drink yourself into oblivion right from the start?

35 Upvotes

Even before I developed a physical dependence on alcohol, back when I was a teenager, I could never stop after just one or two drinks. It was always about getting completely wasted.

I've heard stories from normal drinkers who say that after 3–4 drinks, they just get sleepy and don't feel like drinking anymore. I could never relate to that.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 9h ago

Wish I wasn’t too drunk to go to the grocery store

6 Upvotes

Might DoorDash something. Anyways, found out I can cook a mean burger by accident. I like pan cooked over grilled because you maintain some of the grease. I was fucked up as ever and checked my freezer and found some patties. I threw them on a pan and opted for white basic ass toast. I ran out of plates so upon pulling it off I dropped the patty in a bowl over one piece of toast and then put the other piece of bread over it and just smashed it and flipped it and smashed it again.. I was like ohh this is what a smash burger is. I learned that doing that greases the bread up a bit. Tasted amazing 🤌🏻 I also season well with black pepper and salt. I have a locally sourced bottle of garlic pepper I sprinkled on both sides. So good I was like holy shit.. I need to sell these


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 16h ago

Liqour store samplers

17 Upvotes

I just got damn near harassed by a sampler at the liqour store. This dude kept hounding me to buy this fucking whiskey. I did try a sample and it was good but I was trying to get my $12 handle and get out.

Sampler: “a shooter is $2, is that not basically free?”

Me: “not for me, that’s why I’m buying this travelers club”

Sampler: “that stuff will give you a headache though!”
In my head: “maybe for you, i feel fine” lol

He was nice and I know it’s his job but jesus. I did get a half shot out of it tho haha. Anyone had this happen to them?


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 8h ago

You guys are my crew

3 Upvotes

Was sober for a bit, same old story. Ex-Girlfriend threatened SI while I’m holed up in a hotel room. Same old story same old dance so now I’m out n about organized my stuff made a banking appt and have made amends with everyone except her. Leaving her took sober me to figure out lol.

Life’s fucked eh? Not playing the pity party cause sometimes it’s beautiful but it can be HARD. Just a shout out I feel y’all.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 12h ago

What did you eat today?

7 Upvotes

Literally only a bit of my leftovers from yesterday and a piece of carrot cake that was extra at work. I'm kinda pissed that I left the rest of my leftovers at work, and it's not far so I could easily go get them, but I also got into an argument with my boss today and really don't want to go up there. Might even end up losing my job because this asshole quite literally probably has dementia and won't pay me money I'm owed. It's not a great day over here so cheer me up with something interesting please.

Chairs bitches 🍻


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 16h ago

Reference of Bat Country to the CA sub

13 Upvotes

In a recent video from Bat Country, it was the 40k subscribers Q&A, he mentions this sub. Not directly by name, but he talks about reddit and that there's a sub where people can't or won't stop drinking. It was interesting, he's not judgemental with "you need to get sober", while he doesn't approve that some of us watch his content when being hammered, he's really a nice guy.

For the people that don't know his channel, it's this one here, he made some very interesting videos about his experiences with Delirium Tremens.

Here's a good video about DT, here's another one about his relapse.

I like his content and the few times i spoke with him, by mail in the times when he was a really small youtuber with only a few hundred subscribers, he's a great guy. For some people that struggle with sobriety, guys like him are a much better alternative for help and for knowledge than the usual AA zealots.

I recommend his videos about Withdrawal and Delirium Tremens, even when you have no intention to get sober, it's just very interesting.

When it comes to health problems, LD is a good youtuber that talks about his experience, how he almost died because of liver cirrhosis and how much problems he has today, like Diabetes, Pancreatitis etc. He drank half a gallon of vodka every day and in the end, he was so weak that he couldn't even get up from the bed anymore, he laid there in his own black vomit and he only survived because his wife then got him to the hospital.

Chairs!!


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 13h ago

Pushing my luck with partner

8 Upvotes

Drinking too much, sleeping too much and not making enough money. Chronic health issues and being a slob. I just want to curl up in a blanket and take a 6 hour nap but I kinda gotta get it together now, got yelled at this morning.

think I have gastritis too which doesn’t help with the motivation.

Anyway hope you are having a better Friday than me…


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 21h ago

spent my bday alone yesterday

25 Upvotes

my gf was away so i got blasted and took 2 XR ritalin, spent the night groovin to some techno music

woke up and thought i was gonna pass out in the shower, thankfully nothing happened

now im just surviving at work, took a vyvanse and some coffee and i dont feel that bad anymore

im 28 now, the liquor's definitely hitting harder than a couple years ago

think im stayin on the kpins after work tonight, or maybe ill stop bein a coward and get back on the vodka

chairs fuckers


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 16h ago

Might have gotten a job :0

11 Upvotes

Unfortunately it’s a pretty physically demanding job. I’ll be a brand representative and move food product from the back and build displays. I’ve been so sedentary for years now I’m kinda worried lol I’ll at least have a week or two to start building a LITTLE endurance.

Anyway, wish me luck. Chairs!


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 19h ago

Again

9 Upvotes

im fucked again. been tryna stay sober but i cant.

the remy bottle calls me all day and night. i was 21 days sober and now im deep in a 750ml bottle of brandy.

i wanna die when im sober. i dont care tho. another shot of the liqour is better than none.

chairs.

edit: im 10/10 fuxked bud


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 14h ago

Mystery black eye

4 Upvotes

Woke up this afternoon with a bruised, puffy eye and a sizeable cut on my cheek. Blood all over the pillow. I should probably get stitches but I don’t feel like spending six hours at urgent care. I don’t think I got punched, I probably just tripped or walked into something, but who knows. Now I have to go to work looking all fucked up. Oh well.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 18h ago

You are shit faced and hungry in the back of an Uber.

10 Upvotes

You have a couple of shooters, a small bag of a felonious nature and somebody's credit card.

What's the first food you would actually seek out and eat?

No bullshit 12 course fancy ass place, but the one that hits the spot.

I'm going tacos pastor from the roach coach. Never let me down.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 23h ago

How I defeated the debilitating hiccups

11 Upvotes

I sat on the couch and just inhaled and exhaled really hard like I just came harder than I’ve ever ever cum in my life. Boom. That’s the spirit. Not sure if it was coincidence or what but…. Shit surely did the trick.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 4h ago

My own sister tried to make me feel bad for trying to limit her own drinking NSFW

0 Upvotes

A couple months ago my sister attempted while drunk,

I didn't here about it till last month,

my brother gets married, 1 dollar bar and she attempts the same night,

since then I have tried my best to get her to help herself, she's gotten on medication for 2 weeks until it runs out and boom were back in the same place

Tonight we go out to bars and she says "I attempted a month ago, I try to enjoy myself you limit how much I drink"

If I call out tomorrow I am fired, anyway I am 12 shots deep, cheers!


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 1d ago

Alright you fuckin degenerates.

78 Upvotes

Here we go.

It's Friday night I'm still hammered. Working in the back...everyone else is drunk but I'm "the drunk one". Still i did my job. So yeah. I ain't getting fired. Tonight I get to do what ever I want. I JUST GOT PAIDED. Bills are covered. Rent is paid. I got 350$ in my wallet....what the fuck are we gonna do??!!

Let's do this fuckers....chairs!!


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 1d ago

Just reflecting.

7 Upvotes

Been a bit of a rough two weeks. Ill only credit myself for appearing "okay." I decided tonight to only drink a 12 of light beers. I got the pabst extra '6.5%' because they didn't have my mixer. Fuckers. I took it easy though. I didn't buy an 8% with it?fuck me my former trainer i talk to on 1st shift really just blindsided me. "You smell strong! How much you drink last night aka morning? I stutter and try to say "oh nothing unusual" and cant even utter anything out.

"Cmon man you just got your job back."I was rehired January after I absolutely self-terminnated and drank a ton at work. Left the beers in the parking lot too. Idk why I, even as an alcoholic who has lost a job, considered this?? So im freaking out. He tells me go get gum, wash your face. I feel like a son again. Ive missed my dad. Humiliated, i did just that. The first 2 hours I felt between a panic attack and an unusual, albeit stupid, need to just out myself.

We've, at least most of us feel that shame. I utter the same shit: " im not drunk or anything!" No fool, you ARE a drunk. You can't even manage your pain, your mental health and youre lonely. And certainly not all YOUR fault? Is it? Thats what I cope to believe. We've all lost family, materials etc and not everyone does this. Realizing im just a damaged piece of garbage is a start, but far froma beginning.

All I had to do was not drink every one of those beers. Im not drinking liquor so come on. What i couldn't do was quit picking up any can that was not empty. If thats not a sad realization, well i couldn't get my 6 16oz whats 12 12 oz? Well when i woke up later than usual to find those beers long gone i realized " i cant compromise with the devil."

Hope i didnt bore you all. Im only drinking regular pabst tonight. I mean i got things to do tomorrow, id have at least lower the % right? What a fucking sad joke.

​

​


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 1d ago

Had sex with a co-worker.

82 Upvotes

I hooked up with a co-worker from the hospital i work at. She didn't mind how much I drank after our shift, she seemed to pity me? She doesn't speak English as a first language...and well, I'm drunk, so English isn't my first language either.


r/cripplingalcoholism • • 16h ago

That famous Homer Simpson quote

0 Upvotes

How many of you drink to patch up or mask failures or disasters caused by alcohol itself? This feels like something a lot of boozers don't or won't talk about. We are eternally using booze to hide past mistakes and making more mistakes in the process.