r/creativewriting • • 17h ago

Writing Sample II. The Indifference of the Just (Thoughts/Feedback Please)

0 Upvotes
Judge Daniel Mercer  

 
“Mercy is the most exquisite form of injustice, for it permits a man to believe himself virtuous while denying another the punishment he deserves.” 

“Miss Julie Webber, please rise.”

There are certain cruelties which, by virtue of their repetition, cease to be recognized as cruelties at all. They become the ordinary furnishings of existence, the unremarkable conditions under which a person learns to breathe, to eat, to sleep, and eventually to mistake endurance for living. It is perhaps among the more disturbing peculiarities of human nature that suffering, when administered with sufficient consistency, may come to resemble the natural order of things.

Julie Webber had never known a world in which suffering was not ordinary.

Her father had abandoned her before she was born, leaving behind neither explanation nor inheritance, save for the peculiar burden of having been unwanted by a man whose face she had never seen. Her mother, Samantha, was a woman whose affection had been gradually exhausted by poverty, loneliness, and an enduring melancholy that rendered even the smallest domestic obligations almost insurmountable. She loved her daughter, certainly, but hers was a love perpetually interrupted by the demands of survival.

It was during one of these interruptions that Harrison Bertrum entered their lives.

Harry, as he preferred to be called, initially appeared to possess precisely those qualities which Samantha's circumstances had made indispensable. He had money enough to relieve their immediate hardships, a disposition sufficiently agreeable to disguise his less charitable inclinations, and an apparent willingness to assume responsibility for a family not originally his own.

For a time, he was regarded as a blessing.

Then came the birth of Alexandra, and with it, the gradual deterioration of the man who had once promised them security.

Harry developed a peculiar conviction that the household existed primarily to acknowledge his sacrifices. Every unwashed dish became an insult. Every disagreement, an act of ingratitude. Every silence, evidence of some conspiracy against his authority. His drinking, once confined to occasional evenings, became a daily ritual through which his grievances acquired both volume and violence.

He kept firearms throughout the house.

Sometimes, under the influence of alcohol, he would point one at Julie merely to observe her reaction. He appeared to derive considerable amusement from the spectacle of a child attempting to determine whether the instrument of her possible death had been loaded.

Julie learned not to move.

She learned that tears invited ridicule, that protest encouraged punishment, and that obedience, although never a guarantee of safety, occasionally postponed the arrival of violence.

Yet she did not hate him. Not initially.

Children possess an extraordinary capacity to accommodate the intolerable, particularly when the intolerable has been presented to them as the price of belonging somewhere.

She was grateful for the roof above her head. Grateful for the meals placed before her. Grateful, even, for those rare evenings when Harry returned home sober and the household was permitted the luxury of behaving like a family.

It was only when he began striking her mother that gratitude gradually surrendered to something less forgiving.

Samantha endured the violence with a resignation Julie found incomprehensible. She concealed bruises beneath clothing, attributed injuries to accidents, and repeatedly assured her daughters that Harry was merely experiencing a difficult period.

When Julie attempted to intervene, Harry pushed her aside.

Her mother instructed her not to interfere.

And so Julie discovered that helplessness was not simply the inability to prevent suffering. It was the more humiliating realization that those one wished to protect might themselves refuse protection.

Years passed.

The violence became familiar. The apologies became predictable. The intervals between them grew shorter.

Harry warned Julie that any attempt to expose the household's affairs would result in the deaths of both her and Alexandra.

She believed him.

By eighteen, Julie had few friends, no meaningful expectation of independence, and an understanding of domestic life so thoroughly disfigured by violence that peace seemed less like a possibility than a temporary interruption.

Her younger sister remained the sole object of affection she could contemplate without suspicion.

Alexandra was fifteen, and Julie had come to regard her continued safety as the one responsibility she could not afford to neglect.

Then, on an otherwise unremarkable afternoon in March, Julie returned from school to find Harry beating her mother.

There was nothing particularly unusual about the scene. The overturned chair, the broken glass, the incoherent accusations issuing from Harry's mouth—all belonged to a familiar domestic arrangement.

What distinguished that afternoon from the innumerable others which preceded it was not the severity of the violence, but the sudden exhaustion of Julie's capacity to endure it.

She saw the pistol lying upon the dining table.

She picked it up.

And she shot Harrison Bertrum in the head.

He collapsed at her feet.

The impact of his body against the floor produced a sound she would remember long after the gunshot itself had become indistinct. Blood marked her clothing and the side of her face. She stood motionless, regarding the man whose existence had governed the greater portion of her childhood.

She felt no triumph.

Only an unfamiliar quiet.

For the first time in nearly a decade, the household contained no immediate threat of violence.

Julie turned toward her mother.

She smiled.

It was the smile of a child who had finally accomplished something for which she expected to be praised.

Samantha stared at her daughter with an expression of such unmistakable horror that Julie initially mistook it for shock.

Then her mother moved toward the telephone.

There are moments in which the human mind, confronted with an event it cannot reconcile with its expectations, constructs an explanation more tolerable than the truth. Julie had believed that her mother's suffering required only the removal of its cause. She had imagined gratitude, perhaps tears, perhaps the trembling embrace of a woman delivered from years of terror.

She had not imagined condemnation.

And when Samantha began speaking to the emergency operator, Julie experienced that condemnation as a betrayal more unbearable than anything Harry had inflicted upon her.

She raised the pistol again.

The second shot entered Samantha's back.

Her mother fell beside the telephone.

In the silence that followed, Julie discovered that liberation was a considerably more complicated undertaking than she had supposed.

The man who had terrorized her was dead.

The woman she had intended to save was dying.

And the home she had spent years attempting to preserve had become the scene of two murders.

Julie eventually picked up the telephone and informed the emergency operator of what she had done.

She did not flee.

She did not deny responsibility.

At trial, she pleaded guilty.

Perhaps she believed that confession would establish the purity of her intentions. Perhaps she had simply grown too exhausted to defend herself against a world whose judgments she had never understood.

Whatever the explanation, she offered the court no resistance.

By the time her sentencing hearing commenced, Julie Webber was nineteen years old.

The jury had heard the history of the household, the threats, the beatings, and the years during which a frightened child had been taught that survival depended upon silence. They had also heard how Samantha Webber had been shot while attempting to summon the police.

The jurors were not required to find Julie innocent in order to recognize the circumstances that had produced her crimes.

They recommended life imprisonment.

It was a recommendation in which compassion and condemnation had, for once, arrived at an uneasy accommodation.

But under Florida law, the jury's recommendation was not necessarily the final word.

Judge Daniel Mercer possessed the authority to impose sentence, subject to the stringent legal limitations governing a judicial override. He had reviewed the evidence, the arguments in mitigation, and the written findings necessary to support his decision.

He regarded the jury's recommendation as a regrettable concession to sentiment.

From the gallery, Alexandra Webber rose.

“No matter what happens, you're my hero, Julie. You saved me from hell.”

For the briefest moment, something resembling life returned to Julie's expression.

It was not happiness, precisely. Rather, it was the fragile recognition that someone had understood the purpose behind her actions, even if the world had condemned their consequences.

She had spent the greater part of her existence believing herself powerless. Now, for the first time since her arrest, she entertained the possibility that her suffering might possess an end other than death.

The jurors lowered their eyes.

Their recommendation had been merciful, but mercy, they were discovering, was not necessarily an exercise of power.

Judge Mercer regarded the condemned woman.

“Julie Webber, for the murder of Samantha Webber, this court hereby sentences you to death.”

He paused.

“May God have mercy on your soul.”

The words were delivered without anger.

That was perhaps what made them so terrible.

Mercer had long maintained that mankind's devotion to compassion was seldom founded upon any coherent moral principle. Men pitied the condemned because suffering offended their sensibilities; they forgave because condemnation required a firmness of conviction they did not possess; and they called these weaknesses humanity, as though the experience of an emotion were sufficient evidence of virtue.

He considered this an extraordinary confusion.

The law, in his estimation, was not instituted to console the unfortunate, nor to furnish the guilty with an audience sympathetic to their remorse. It existed because the moral inclinations of men were too inconsistent to be entrusted with the administration of justice.

And yet men insisted upon introducing those very inclinations into the courtroom.

Before him stood a young woman whose hands trembled so violently that the restraints upon her wrists produced a faint metallic sound.

She was weeping.

Daniel observed her without contempt, without satisfaction, and, most notably, without pity.

He felt nothing.

And he considered this the surest indication that he was qualified to judge her.


r/creativewriting • • 4h ago

Journaling Hi

0 Upvotes

I dont see race.

I dont see colors.

I dont see gender.

I see people.

I see love.

I see people in there mostl honest form,

I don't see good or bad.

Sad or mad,

Happy or tears

I dont see war or religion.

Politics or hypocritics,

I see love and that is all


r/creativewriting • • 11h ago

Writing Sample I always thought I'd survive a zombie apocalypse like a badass. Turns out, I'm just really good at panicking.

3 Upvotes

CHAPTER ONE: So Much for Being a Hero

A LOUD BANG. Then another. Then a high, thin buzzing filled my head, like a TV left on in the next room of my skull. Everything else sounded far away, as if I were underwater.

For a moment, I couldn’t make sense of anything around me. My ears were ringing, my head felt like it was about to split open, and the world seemed to be moving in slow motion.

Then, slowly, through the buzzing, I heard them. A low groan. Then another. And another. Dozens of them, growing louder with every heartbeat. I turned my head towards the street. Holy hell… and there they are.

It’s been four days since the world started screaming the word zombie. Four days since everything went to hell. One moment, life was normal. The next, chaos erupted in the blink of an eye. People screaming, cars crashing, strangers running for their lives… and those things tearing through anyone unlucky enough to cross their path. And here I was, caught right in the middle of it, fighting for my life.

You know, I really thought I’d rock a zombie apocalypse. Like, seriously. I’d always imagined myself being that badass protagonist who walks through a horde of zombies without breaking a sweat. Maybe I’d save a few people along the way, find a group of survivors, and eventually become the guy everyone relied on. Yeah. Right.

“Damn, man…” Not gonna lie, I was reconsidering my entire life plan. Watching those things tear people apart, ripping into their flesh and eating them alive, was enough to make me shit my pants. Just blood, screaming, and those disgusting bastards chewing on actual human beings.

I watched a man struggle beneath them, my feet refusing to move even though every instinct in my body was screaming at me to run. Then he looked up. Our eyes met. He didn’t scream. He just stared at me, his face twisted in pain, and mouthed two words.

Save me.

“Don’t try to act like a hero, you dumbass! He is already bitten. You can’t save him! YOU CAN’T SAVE HIM!” Then, behind him, something moved.

“FUCKKKK!” The ones that had just turned were already on their feet, heads snapping towards me. Then they came. “RUN, DENNIS! RUN!”

I talk to myself when I’m scared. Always have. Out loud, sometimes, which is a terrible habit when something is hunting you. Usually, I make jokes. Stupid jokes. The kind that make absolutely no one laugh except me. But right now, I had nothing. Either way, I forced myself to look away and ran. One step. Then another. I have to survive.

“Okay. Okay. Think, Dennis. THINK!” My eyes darted towards the buildings lining the street. I could try to get inside one of them, but that was a gamble I wasn’t willing to take. What if the doors were locked? What if I wasted precious seconds fumbling with a handle while those things caught up to me? And even if I got inside, how could I be sure there weren’t already zombies waiting for me in the dark? Nope. Absolutely not. Running was my best option.

Who knew all those daily runs in the park just to catch a glimpse of my crush, Vanessa, would finally pay off? All those mornings of dragging myself out of bed, sweating like a pig, and wondering why the hell I was doing this to myself… Turns out, I was training for the apocalypse. “Hah! Take that, lazy Dennis!” I almost felt proud of myself. Then I remembered the circumstances. “Ahhh, my beautiful Vanessa…” It’s all because of you, my love. Just wait! I’ll come and find youuu!

For a moment, I was already imagining our emotional reunion. Me, covered in dirt and blood, standing heroically before her while the wind blew through my hair… I smacked myself across the face with both hands while running. “BRO! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT HER! SAVE YOURSELF FIRST!” Focus, Dennis. Focus. I needed somewhere I could get in and out of without trapping myself. A building with two possible exits would be ideal. If something went wrong, I’d have another way out.

I scanned the street as I ran until I reached an intersection. To my right, a pileup of crashed cars and abandoned vehicles blocked the road. There was barely enough room to squeeze through, and beyond the wreckage, I could see more cars tangled together. A dead end. “Great. Fantastic. Love the options.” I turned towards the left. Several zombies were lying motionless along the roadside. At least, they had been motionless. The noise from the horde chasing me had caught their attention. One by one, their heads began to turn. Then their bodies started to move, as if someone had just switched them back on. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” The left road was becoming a nightmare. I looked around again, desperately searching for another option.

And there it was. A fire escape zigzagging up the side of an apartment building. “Ahhh! GOTCHA!” Of course, there was one tiny problem. To reach the fire escape, I had to sprint towards the very road where those newly awakened zombies were beginning to crawl and stagger to their feet.

“Ufff… decisions, decisions.” I glanced behind me. The horde was getting closer. I looked ahead. More zombies were waking up. I looked to my right. A beautiful collection of crashed cars blocking the road. “JUST PICK A DAMN ROAD, MAN!” And so, I did.

I sprinted towards the fire escape, running straight into the direction of the approaching zombies. I dodged a body sprawled across the road, and nearly slipped on something I really didn’t want to identify. My lungs burned. My legs screamed. Every step felt like it might be my last. But I made it.

The bottom of the fire escape was a counterweighted drop-down ladder, the kind you see on old Boston apartment buildings. It was raised, hanging well above my reach. I jumped, caught the lowest rung, and my weight dragged it down with a screech that echoed along the whole street. I scrambled up the rungs, and they were right behind me. They almost caught up to me. God.

The moment I reached the first landing, I hauled the ladder back up behind me, out of reach, so they couldn’t climb. Then I grabbed the railing and practically launched myself up the metal stairs. One floor. Two floors. Three floors. Finally, I reached a landing and leaned against the wall, gasping for air.

“Hah… hah… holy shit.” I peeked over the railing. The zombies were still down there, wandering around like a bunch of unpaid extras who’d forgotten their lines. Some were stumbling against the walls, while others seemed more interested in the bodies lying along the road. I grinned. “That’s right, you ugly bastards! Come get me now!” I even laughed. “Hahahaha! Who’s the badass now?”

And then—

A hand shot out of the window beside me.

“AAAAAAAHHHH!” I nearly jumped out of my skin. I stumbled backwards, clutching my chest as if my heart had just tried to escape through my throat. “WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!” The hand slapped against the glass again. I stared at it for a moment. Then I slowly looked around. “Oh.” There was a zombie inside the apartment. Right beside me.

“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.” I swallowed. “New plan. I’m setting up camp on the roof.” Because apparently, surviving the apocalypse wasn’t enough. I also had to deal with jump scares.

The rooftop seemed like the perfect place to spend the night. It was high enough to keep me away from the zombies on the street, and I could keep an eye on my surroundings. I could rest, figure out what the hell was happening, and plan my next move in the morning.

The rooftop door was locked. I tried the handle. Nothing. I pushed against it with my shoulder. Still nothing. I stared at the door. The door stared back. “Seriously? SERIOUSLY?” I kicked it once, more out of frustration than any real hope of opening it. “Fine! Keep your stupid door!”

I stepped back and looked over the edge of the building. The neighbouring building wasn’t impossibly far away, but it was far enough to turn a bad jump into a very short life. And down below? Zombies. Lots of them. I imagined myself attempting the jump, missing the ledge, and becoming the main course at an undead buffet. “Yeah, no. I’m not that desperate.” Not yet, anyway.

So that left me with one option. The stairs. I could stay on the landing for a while, but eventually, I’d need food and water. And judging by the way my stomach was already complaining, eventually was going to come sooner rather than later.

I settled into a corner where I could keep an eye on the ladder and the street below. It wasn’t exactly a five-star hotel, but at least the zombies couldn’t reach me easily. For now, that was good enough.

A day passed. And let me tell you something. Hunger is a different kind of monster. At first, I tried to ignore it. I sat in a corner, watched the streets below, and convinced myself that I could last a little longer.

Then my stomach growled. I ignored it. It growled again. I glared at it. “Listen, buddy. We’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Read the room.” My stomach did not care.

Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to find food. Carefully, I made my way down one floor and stopped beside an apartment window. Through the glass, I could see a kitchen.

And lying on the floor—

Ramen packets.

Beautiful, glorious ramen packets. I stared at them as though I’d discovered buried treasure. “Jackpot.” I almost wanted to cry. Instant noodles. The food of champions. The one thing that could make even the worst day a little better.

I pressed my face closer to the window and scanned the apartment. Nothing moved. I waited. Still nothing. I watched for another minute, checking the corners and the spaces between the furniture. I wasn’t about to walk into a room without making sure it was safe. Finally, I reached for the window. Slowly, carefully, I began to ease it open.

And just as I was about to climb inside—

An old man shuffled past the kitchen doorway. I froze. His skin was pale, his movements stiff, and his head hung at an unnatural angle.

A zombie.

He disappeared into the next room without even looking in my direction. I pulled my hand away from the window. Every muscle in my body had locked up. For a few seconds, I didn’t even breathe. Then I slowly backed away. “Okay…” I swallowed. “Okay, Dennis. We are going to be a little more careful from now on.” I continued down another floor. Maybe the next apartment would be safer.

Some of the merged paragraphs are on the long side. If you'd rather have them shorter for phone reading, I can split the longest ones (the chase section, for example) at natural breaks. I can also write a hook title for the post.


r/creativewriting • • 18h ago

Novel Chuckies revival

0 Upvotes

 Chapter One — A Friend Until the End

The rain had been falling for three days when Daniel Carter discovered the doll.

It sat inside a dusty cardboard box at the back of an abandoned toy shop on the outskirts of town. The shop had been closed for nearly twenty years, its windows boarded up and its front door chained shut. Daniel, seventeen, had broken in with two friends, hoping to find something valuable enough to sell.\

Instead, he found a doll.

It had bright red hair, freckled cheeks, blue eyes, and a colourful striped shirt beneath a pair of faded blue overalls. One of its shoes was missing, and a long crack ran across its plastic forehead.

Despite the dust covering everything else in the shop, the doll looked strangely clean.

Daniel lifted it from the box.

A small voice crackled from somewhere inside its chest.

"Hi! I'm Chucky. Wanna play?"

Daniel nearly dropped it.

His friends burst out laughing.

"Mate, that's the creepiest thing I've ever seen," said Josh.

Daniel turned the doll over, searching for a battery compartment.

"Must be one of those old talking toys."

He pressed its stomach.

"Hi! I'm Chucky. Wanna play?"

"Yeah, yeah. Very funny."

Daniel tucked the doll beneath his arm and carried it out into the rain.

He had no idea that, somewhere beneath its plastic skin, something had just opened its eyes.

And it was hungry.

Chapter Two — Something in the Bedroom

Daniel placed Chucky on his bedroom shelf that evening.

His mother wasn't impressed.

"You're seventeen, Daniel. Why are you bringing home dolls?"

"It's a collector's item."

"It looks like it belongs in a nightmare."

She was right about one thing.

That night, Daniel dreamed of a little boy standing at the foot of his bed.

The boy's face was pale, his red hair soaked with rain, and his eyes were completely black.

He smiled.

"You're my friend now, Daniel."

Daniel woke with a gasp.

His room was silent.

The digital clock beside his bed read 3:17 a.m.

He rubbed his eyes and looked towards the shelf.

Chucky was gone.

Daniel sat upright.

"What the hell?"

He searched beneath the bed, inside the wardrobe, and behind the curtains. Nothing.

Then he heard a faint giggle.

It came from the hallway.

Daniel opened his bedroom door.

At the far end of the corridor, beneath the flickering ceiling light, Chucky sat cross-legged on the floor.

His plastic face was turned towards Daniel.

Daniel stared at him.

Slowly, he approached the doll and picked it up.

"Okay. Very funny. Mum must've moved you."

He carried Chucky back to the bedroom, placed him on the shelf, and made sure the door was locked.

Then he went back to sleep.

At 3:17 a.m., the bedroom door unlocked itself.

Something small crept across the carpet.

Daniel slept through the soft scraping sound of plastic shoes.

He slept through the quiet metallic click of a drawer opening.

And he slept through the whisper that came from directly beside his ear.

"Time to wake up, sleepyhead."

Chapter Three — The First Victim

Josh was the first to notice that something was wrong.

He had come over on Saturday afternoon to play video games. Daniel was downstairs getting drinks when Josh wandered into the bedroom.

Chucky sat on the shelf.

Josh grinned.

"Hey, little psycho."

He picked the doll up by its overalls and held it in front of his face.

"So, Chucky. Heard you're a killer."

The doll's head tilted slightly.

Josh froze.

He stared into its blue plastic eyes.

Then he laughed nervously.

"Okay. That's enough."

He put the doll back.

As he turned towards the door, a tiny voice spoke behind him.

"You're not very nice."

Josh spun around.

Chucky hadn't moved.

"Did you hear that?" Josh called downstairs.

"Hear what?" Daniel shouted back.

Josh looked at the doll again.

Its painted smile seemed wider than before.

He backed away.

Then the bedroom door slammed shut.

Josh grabbed the handle and pulled.

It wouldn't open.

"Daniel! Open the door!"

Behind him, something landed on the floor.

Tiny footsteps pattered across the carpet.

Josh slowly turned.

Chucky was standing upright.

Not sitting.

Standing.

His little plastic hands hung beside his body, and his head was tilted at an unnatural angle.

Josh's mouth fell open.

"No."

Chucky took one step forward.

Then another.

"Oh, come on," the doll whispered. "Don't look so scared."

Josh stumbled backwards.

"You're a toy!"

Chucky's expression changed.

For the first time, the smile disappeared.

"I'm not a toy."

He reached behind his back and pulled out a small kitchen knife.

Josh screamed.

Downstairs, Daniel heard a loud crash followed by a horrible silence.

He dropped the drinks and raced upstairs.

"Josh?"

He reached the bedroom door.

It swung open before he touched it.

Josh lay motionless beside the bed.

The curtains moved gently in the breeze from the open window.

There was no sign of Chucky.

Daniel fell to his knees.

"Josh? Josh, wake up!"

He shook his friend desperately, but there was no response.

Then Daniel noticed something on the wall above the bed.

Written in dark red letters were four words.

FRIENDS TILL THE END.

A tiny giggle came from inside the wardrobe.

Daniel slowly turned his head.

The wardrobe door creaked open.

Chucky's face appeared in the darkness.

"One down," he whispered.

Daniel screamed.

Chapter Four — The Truth About Chucky

The police arrived twenty minutes later.

They found Daniel sobbing beside Josh's body, repeatedly insisting that a doll had killed his friend.

Nobody believed him.

They found no fingerprints on the knife. No footprints. No sign of an intruder.

And no doll.

Daniel's mother took him home after questioning, convinced that the shock had broken something inside her son.

That evening, Daniel searched the internet.

He typed three words into the search bar.

Chucky killer doll.

Thousands of results appeared.

Then he found an old newspaper article dated November 1988.

SERIAL KILLER CHARLES LEE RAY DIES FOLLOWING SHOOTOUT.

Daniel read every word.

Charles Lee Ray, a notorious murderer known as the Lakeshore Strangler, had been fatally wounded inside a toy shop while fleeing police. According to the article, Ray had been involved in occult practices and had reportedly attempted a strange ritual shortly before his death.

The article included a photograph.

A pale man with red hair.

A crooked smile.

Eyes that looked disturbingly familiar.

Daniel felt sick.

He continued searching.

Eventually, he discovered a discussion forum dedicated to strange murders and unexplained disappearances. One post, written decades earlier, described a red-haired Good Guys doll that had appeared at the scene of several killings.

The final line read:

If you find one, don't take it home.

Daniel shut the laptop.

A noise came from behind him.

A soft, plastic footstep.

Then another.

He didn't turn around.

"You're real," he whispered.

A small voice answered from the doorway.

"Gee, you catch on quick."

Daniel closed his eyes.

"Why are you doing this?"

Chucky chuckled.

"Because I can."

"You're a monster."

"No, kid." The doll's voice suddenly became cold. "I'm a man trapped in a toy. And I've been trapped for a very, very long time."

Daniel finally turned.

Chucky stood in the doorway, holding the missing shoe in one hand and a bloodstained knife in the other.

"But don't worry," he continued cheerfully. "I've got a plan."

He smiled.

"And you're gonna help me."

Chapter Five — The House of Little Friends

Daniel tried to escape that night.

He packed a bag, stole his mother's car keys, and crept downstairs while the house slept.

The front door was only a few metres away.

He could almost feel the cold night air.

Then a voice spoke from the darkness.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?"

Daniel stopped.

Chucky sat on the kitchen table.

Beside him lay Daniel's phone, smashed into pieces.

"You need professional help," Daniel whispered.

Chucky swung his little legs.

"Funny. That's what they said about me."

Daniel reached for the door.

Chucky's face twisted with anger.

"I SAID DON'T LEAVE!"

The kitchen lights exploded.

Darkness swallowed the room.

Daniel ran.

He heard tiny footsteps chasing him across the floor, followed by the sound of metal scraping against the walls.

He reached the front door and pulled desperately at the handle.

Locked.

Behind him, Chucky laughed.

"Wrong way, pal."

Daniel turned.

The doll stood at the bottom of the stairs.

His blue eyes glowed in the darkness.

Daniel grabbed a heavy lamp and hurled it.

It struck Chucky squarely in the chest.

The doll flew backwards, smashing into the wall.

For a moment, everything was silent.

Daniel stared at the motionless body.

Then he ran upstairs, locked himself in the bathroom, and shoved a cabinet against the door.

He had barely begun to breathe when he heard scratching.

Not outside the bathroom.

Inside the wall.

Something was moving through the space between the plasterboards.

A tiny voice whispered through the pipes.

"You can run, Daniel."

Scratching.

A soft giggle.

"But you can't hide."

The bathroom light flickered.

Daniel looked into the mirror.

Behind him, reflected in the glass, stood a little red-haired boy.

Not a doll.

A boy with pale skin and black eyes, smiling with a mouth full of crooked teeth.

Daniel spun around.

Nothing.

He looked back at the mirror.

The boy pressed both hands against the glass.

His smile widened.

"Almost time to come out and play."

The mirror cracked from corner to corner.

And somewhere downstairs, Chucky began to laugh.

Chapter Six — The Last Good Guy

At dawn, Daniel's mother found the front door wide open.

The house was silent.

Daniel was missing.

The police searched the neighbourhood, the surrounding woods, and the nearby roads. They found no sign of him.

Three days later, a delivery driver discovered a cardboard box outside the abandoned toy shop where Daniel had found Chucky.

Inside the box lay a familiar red-haired doll.

Its clothes were torn. Its face was scratched, and one plastic hand was missing.

A handwritten note lay beside it.

FREE TO A GOOD HOME.

The driver frowned.

"Someone's got a weird sense of humour."

He lifted the doll and examined its face.

The painted eyes stared blankly at him.

He laughed, placed it in his van, and drove away.

Several towns later, he delivered the doll to a young family.

A little boy named Oliver opened the box.

His face lit up.

"Mum! Look what I got!"

His mother smiled from the kitchen.

"That's lovely, sweetheart. What's his name?"

Oliver turned the doll around.

A small voice crackled from inside its chest.

"Hi! I'm Chucky. Wanna play?"

Oliver giggled.

"Yes!"

That night, Oliver's father tucked him into bed and kissed his forehead.

"Sleep tight, mate."

As he turned off the light, Oliver hugged the doll close.

The bedroom door clicked shut.

The house grew quiet.

And then, beneath the blankets, Chucky opened his eyes.

His plastic fingers slowly curled around Oliver's wrist.

"Hey, kid," he whispered.

Oliver stirred in his sleep.

Chucky leaned closer.

"I've been looking for a new best friend."

His smile stretched across his face.

"And this time, I'm gonna make sure we stay together."

Outside, thunder rolled across the sky.

And from somewhere deep inside the doll, a man's voice began to laugh.

THE END… OR JUST THE BEGINNING.

 


r/creativewriting • • 23h ago

Short Story Exit Hymns NSFW

1 Upvotes

NSFW for implied self harm, suicide

I’m not quite finished. Please give me constructive feedback. I got inspiration from Jarrett Moseley’s A Possible Exit.

My best trick is disguise. I wore long sleeves when I met Chelsea at the supermarket, mid-December and almost Christmas, white lights flickering hymns. She tells me it’s a time to be saved, pulling up my sleeves to feel my scars. Only she can see through my deception.
“You know you don’t have to do that with me.” She rubs my sectored skin gently.
“What?” I stare at the cans of Campbell’s clam chowder in the cart.
“Nothing.” Chelsea lets go of my wrist and my sleeve falls back down. “It’s almost the holidays. Stay over tonight.”
I insist on not, but we both know I will. I push the shopping cart down the aisle and she loads it with Christmas chocolates, Snapple and pomegranates, guaranteed to cure any ailment.
“Can you even cut those?” I ask her, referring to the boxed pomegranates in the cart.
“No…” She pauses for a second. “Yes.”
I wonder if she remembers the story where my mom took all the knives out of my room.
In the checkout aisle she adds gum. Neither of us care for it but she says it’s a distraction, during studying or driving. The cashier asks us if we’re sisters, even though her dark tresses and tan complexion against my brown hair and white skin makes it clear we’re not. “Only half,” she replies, pushing the cart away from the register. She says we could share a mother, that our eyes look similar enough. In the front seat of her car I disguised as her sister.
She tells me she wants to go to the mall and takes the second exit right. The moon is rising on us and I can see our reflections in the windshield.
My mom once told me there are three ways to kill your self: The first is by suicide: hanging, shooting, cutting. The second one is to leave town and never come back. Delete your socials. Delete your presence. And the third is to do nothing at all.
I ask Chelsea what her plans are after graduation. She says college, and then medical school. I haven’t thought that far yet, but she says I can move in after high school.
When we arrive at the mall our skin is glowing. Stars twinkle overhead above the parking lot. Chelsea whispers make a wish when we spot a shooting star.
Inside she finds a pink blouse with a white bow in on its neckline. In the fitting room I look shy like an angel. She snaps a photo, two of us in the same outfit, labels it “before Christmas shopping”, and posts it for the world to see.
* I plan to continue, I would just like to know what you think!