I don’t really know why I’m writing this now, but I think I just needed to get this out.

My F1 visa got rejected a year and a half ago. I was really, really, really looking forward to it. For the two years before I applied, that was basically all I was doing. I researched for thousands of hours, worked endlessly on my essays and application. I even bloody signed the lease for a house.

I genuinely thought I had a strong application. I’d held a U.S. visa for almost 20 years, travelled to the U.S. multiple times, renewed it multiple times, had a really, really good university acceptance, and had my finances sorted. I genuinely didn’t know what the problem was.

And then, in just a minute, everything disappeared.
I’ve genuinely never put this much heart, soul and myself into anything in my entire life. I know I could have applied again, but I didn’t have the heart or mental space for another rejection. That rejection felt incredibly personal.

I eventually did my master’s in India and I’m working now. But whenever I see somebody from that university on Instagram, or hear somebody talking about their U.S. master’s, I get genuinely heartbroken.

That was supposed to be my life. I was supposed to be doing all of that too.

And ever since then, whenever I start caring about something or putting a lot of effort into it, I panic that it won’t work out. And anytime something bad happens in my life, I automatically go back to that moment and think, maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I had gotten that piece of my life.

I really, really, really wish it had worked out.
This is something that will always, always break my heart.

All I wanted to do was study!! I bloody wanted to study with all my heart!! I couldn’t!! That particular field isn’t specifically available to study in India. It’s often combined with other subjects!! I couldn’t!! I wouldn’t ever be able to!!

I (23F) had one of the most horrifying experiences of my life last night, and I honestly need to get this off my chest.
I’ve always wanted to go to a Dandiya night, but I’ve never gone because I didn’t have a partner. This year, a guy offered to take me, but for some reason, I said no. Eventually, one of my friends booked tickets for me to go with her younger sister and her boyfriend.
I was genuinely excited. We reached the venue and decided to pair up..her sister and I would dance together, while my friend danced with her boyfriend.
About five minutes later, while her sister and I were clicking pictures, my friend’s boyfriend called us and asked us to come outside because something had happened.
When we went outside umm there was a crowd gathered around. Initially, I thought there had been an accident. Then 7–8 security guards told us that a girl had run away crying and screaming. We were confused and started looking for my friend.
After searching for 20–25 minutes, we finally found my friend sitting alone at a corner of the road, crying.
When we asked what had happened, she told us that she and her boyfriend had gotten into an argument. According to her, he had verbally abused and slapped her so hard that her jhumka broke.
I was honestly in shock. Her younger sister was furious and started confronting him, asking how he could do something like that to her sister.
Apparently, the argument had started over something as ridiculous as coloured contact lenses. My friend was wearing them, and he got upset that she hadn’t bought a pair for him because, according to him, she should have known he wanted them.
Things got even worse when he tried to hit her younger sister, too. I immediately stepped in between them.
At that point, I decided we needed to leave. I booked a cab home, but he snatched my friend’s phone, transferred all her money to his own account, threatened her, and refused to let her leave peacefully. He said he wouldn’t return her phone if she left and threatened us with serious consequences, including death threats.
I was terrified. I knew I could call people for help, but it would take at least an hour for anyone to reach us. I also didn’t want the situation to escalate further, especially with her younger sister already visibly traumatised.
I’m an introvert, and I’m not someone who handles confrontations easily. The entire situation was overwhelming and frightening. I did raise my voice and tried to intervene, but I was constantly thinking about what might happen if he turned on us.
I kept trying to comfort my friend. I hugged her while she cried and repeatedly asked her to come home with us. But her boyfriend kept pulling her back, getting increasingly aggressive and moving closer to her sister as if he wanted to hit her again.
Eventually, he threatened my friend enough that she started shouting at me to leave her alone and go home. She kept saying it was their private matter.
I could see that she was scared of him, but I couldn’t understand why she was choosing to stay with someone who had just hit her, threatened her, taken her phone, and transferred her money.
I didn’t want to leave her there. I kept worrying about what might happen after we left. But her younger sister was also there, and I felt responsible for getting her somewhere safe. Eventually, around 12:30 AM, I left with her sister.
My friend stayed with him that night.
I barely slept. I kept replaying everything in my head, wondering whether I should have shouted more, called the police, involved security, or done something differently. I kept calling my friend throughout the night to check on her.
At around 7 AM, I went to their hotel and picked her up.
Apparently, they had somehow sorted things out between themselves after we left.
But I haven’t been able to process what happened. One moment, we were taking pictures and enjoying ourselves, and the next, we were dealing with violence, threats, and fear.
The thing that’s bothering me the most is whether I did enough.
I keep blaming myself for not doing more, even though I was scared myself. I also feel frustrated that my friend stayed with him, but I know it’s not as simple as just telling someone to leave a relationship.
I don’t want to judge her. I’m worried about her and her younger sister, too, because I can’t imagine how traumatising it must have been to witness all of that.
Has anyone ever witnessed something like this? How do you process it afterwards? And how do you help a friend who is in an abusive relationship when they aren’t ready to leave?
I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to feel right now. I just needed to talk about it somewhere.

There is this guy who was part of my life for 4.5 years. He expressed his feelings for me & also accepted & respected my decision not to act on them. However, we used to talk normally once every 2 months/3 months. Mostly he used to ping me. But whenever we talked I also reciprocated to the best of my ability.He also reiterated the fact that how much he respected our friendship & how much valuable is it for him. Fast forward, this Jan, I was very sick & I texted him myself twice( I initiated the convos). May be it was getting too inconvenient for him to stay in touch with me. But what he chose to do was beyond my imagination. He mentioned one of my vulnerabilities, stating that my female best friend did not respond to my calls instantly & there must be something wrong with me that I was nobody's priority & he always had this hunch that something was wrong with me. Previously in the midst of our conversation, I shared with him that my college best friend was acting cold with me & was not responding to my calls. He chose to bring that topic when I was at my lowest. I didn't text him any further post that incident & ofc we don't talk anymore. He never apologised to me either. Probably he was waiting for an excuse to cut ties with me.Today I was deleting the old texts & came across this conversation, so felt like sharing.

I grew up with brown parents in India. For the longest time since childhood, I was in boarding school. I hardly spent 30 or 40 days in a year at home, but I was pretty close to my joint family.

Covid was the first time which pushed me to stay for more than 2 or 3 months with them, and that made me realise how flawed my family is. My dad had been cheating on my mom for a very long time, and ever since, I just don't like him. Everything about him annoys me.

Now I am 27, living away from family in a city. I am still very close to my mom, but with my dad, it is very superficial or surface level. They decided to visit me where I stay. First it was my mom, and it was really nice with her around. Today, my dad joined her for a couple of days, and all I can think about is: when are they going to go back?

My mom is dependent on my father, of course, so she couldn't get separated. But the fact is that all of our conversations, me and my mom, revolve around my dad. All the time she is like, "We could get him here," "He could like this," "Call your dad," "Do this with your dad," etc., etc. I could go on and on. Even when she is enjoying herself, she will think of him, which gets me annoyed because it is the opposite.

My dad is completely reliant on my mom for medicine, food, a proper patriarchal brown dad. There is no love. My dad just wants my mom to do all her work, and I feel like my skin is crawling. I can't bear it.

I don't say anything either. I can't. It breaks my heart to see my mom stuck. Frankly, I don't even know what she thinks. It is not like we can talk to her, I think she will not like it. But I do feel guilty for feeling like this for my dad, or maybe I shouldn't? It's just that he arrived today, and I can't even be in the same room as him. I feel suffocated. No amount of therapy has made me feel different for my dad, and I just get annoyed.

Hello all, I have a younger relative who is getting married. She doesn't have any s*x education. Are there any healthy, empowering, honest Indian s*x education podcasts or YouTube channels she can watch or listen to? She speaks Telugu and English. Hindi is so-so, but she can manage, especially with subtitles.

Now I'm usually kinda against getting any cosmetic procedure done, simply because I'm scared of hospitals or getting any kinda medical procedure done. It really frightens me that someone would be making changes to my body. I even had panic attacks after getting fillers for my cavities lol.

However there's this one thing I have always been extremely insecure about, my deep set eyes. They make my eyes look bigger but also makes them look very hollow. There are really bad dark circles that just can't be fixed with concealer or sleeping because they're there due to the shape of the eyes, not due to swelling or skin colour. I've seen some people online get filler there and they had great results and I kinda really wanna get them too. However as I said I'm really scared of such procedures so I would like to know the experience of someone who actually got them 🫠

It’s the festive season and everything looks soooo prettyyyyyy. You can smell the festivities in the air. I don’t know if it’s only in the Delhi air. The slight chill in the air is a giveaway if you miss out on any of the above mentioned hints, lol. You see people prepping for the season. Durga Puja. Diwali. Karva. Dussehra. All of it’s here.

But what do you with all of this if you’re a lonely introvert 28yr old whose friends have friends and have a life?

You go to Instagram to distract yourself?
Grave mistake.
You see people actually having fun. The fun you also wanna have but sadly, you don’t have friends.

You turn to your family?
Do not know about others but some people have severely dysfunctional family where relationships feel more suffocating.

Friends?
We’ve already covered that, lol.

Boyfriend?
Eh.

I know this post was more of vent than anything but it’s this season that brings pangs of loneliness that become more prominent than any other day.

The intent of this post is not to elicit any sympathy or empathy. It’s just trying to cope with situation in a healthy way and trying not to feel sad. I’ve tried going out and making friends. Did not work. Sure I have friends and they like me. But they also like being friends with people who do not have a curfew of 8PM. I don’t really fit in that criteria.

If you don’t have anything nice to say then please scroll. If you have a suggestion, be respectful enough to not hurt a person who is as it is struggling.

Thanks.

I’m 23, living with my parents and working in our family business. I actually like it. I’m financially dependent on them. It’s complicated.

I wanted to take a short solo trip and finally brought it up today. I didn’t even get to explain where I wanted to go or what my plan was. My parents immediately said no, that the timing isn’t right, the outside world isn’t safe, and I shouldn’t travel alone. They suggested I take my mom or sister instead. For context, I’ve traveled with friends before. Money is not the issue.

What upset me wasn’t even the initial concern. It was that I felt like I wasn’t given a chance to explain myself at all. When I got upset about that, I was told I was being adamant and childish because they had said no. I barely spoke with them for 2 minutes. I hated the whole 2 minutes. My first thought was to run away somewhere and get a job. But I can’t. I don’t want to. I wanna work in the business and eventually start my own as well.

I hate this. I hate the fact that I’m crying about this now. I feel like I’m stuck here. I don’t want to feel like I wanna run away all the time. I just started working for them a couple of months ago.

Hi, as the title says, I'm looking for corsets to buy FOR A LONG TIME. But every time I see one that is pretty, it always has small cup sizes.

Now, if I go up a few sizes, the corsets don't fit from the waist and tummy. And the ones that fit on the waist never fit in the chest area without 3/4th of my shit spilling out.

If anyone knows where I can buy good corsets with bigger cup sizes under 2000, please let me know! Online or some place in delhi-ncr. I've tried sarojini but no luck because I'm never even able to find the shop 😭

Something you wanted but regretted. It could be a field of study, a job, a college, a relationship, marriage, or even having kids. What's something you wanted so badly but later realised wasn't right for you? I'd love to hear about your experiences and learn something from them.

Hey folks!
I am joining the dating world again at 33 and I feel very comfortable with the idea of being truly honest about my life with my partner. All the ghosts in the closet, yada. With the hope that they are kind and don’t weaponise it. If they do, they show themselves and that’s a datapoint.

The issue is, I don’t know how and when to disclose stuff with dates. I use a hearing aid in one ear(partial loss identified recently), I have BPD and ADHD and had depression a few years back. I get it intellectually that I have lived a life and things happen, but I feel shame and fear in case someone is unkind. I don’t want to hide or anything but I do want to feel psychologically safe enough before sharing. So I don’t want it to be a first date conversation or profile information. Is that unfair?

What do you advise?

I have been suffering from yeast infection from 2 months and i always get infection after my periods .Some times i forget to wash my underwear daily though i wash them.I have shown it to a lot of gynae. They always tell me that i have an infection and nothing else.Told me they can’t check from inside because i am not married yet.

So this happend in 2023 i started using vwash got bad infection from it 2024 was hell for me.I try my best to maintain hygiene but though this happens with me after my periods end.

Life feels tough just don’t know how to overcome this. Just want some recommendations.

Living in delhi but haven't explored much . Went to chandni chowk but everything was overpriced and not the upto the mark quality.

Can anyone sugget me good stores in delhi which are budget friendly but have quality too.

Also even online stores. I can buy one dress upto 6k or max 7k .

Kindly guide.

I'm his only sister so need to look good but currently very tight on budget.

I have PCOS / PMOS induced hirsutism and had a lot of facial hair my entire life. In my 20s, hormones got much worse and I developed a full beard pattern hair growth on my face. I currently shave every 3-7 depending on when I am going out. Its exhausting to keep shaving.

I am considering laser on my face and want to know your experiences.

I am an elder sibling living away from family in a different country. My sister is 23, and lives with our parents. She is doing decent in her career but struggles with making social connections and weight (BMI: 32+). She is also sensitive when it comes to discussing these topics. My parents and I have a good relationship, but my sister and parents are not very amicable.

She has never lived outside our home, and even in her college years she commuted to college daily. She gained weight during her 11-12th years and has not been able to lose it since. Since she earns now, she has signed up for an expensive yearly gym membership and has exhausted her pause days too. She only goes once in a blue moon when she gets a sudden burst of motivation. She struggles to manage her cravings and gives in to junk food almost daily now. She even went to a professional nutrition counselor, but she didn’t stick to the plan. Bcz all her blood tests also comes back normal, so she really doesn't see an incentive to change her ways.

My dad also had a paralytic shock a few weeks ago (of diabetic causes). Thank god he is fine now, but he also constantly indulges in oily junk food. My dad is incredibly stressed and constantly worried that my sister's weight will prevent her from getting good marriage matches, which just adds a massive layer of tension to the household.

My mom also sees and understands this and she is more like me -- she maintains a healthy lifestyle and mindset despite her thyroid issues.

I panic when they are eating junk food. I try to model a healthy diet and exercise for them, I also practice a lot of restraint when it comes to junk food. I post my healthy food pics and tell them about my gym activities. I always put a positive outlook when I speak with them, but some days i lose my mind when i see them popping 30 popsicles in a day.

It feels incredibly unfair to me and mom that dad and sis refuse to have a stronger restraint. Those two are not headed in the right direction and all we can do is watch them destroy their health. We have to support them and their decisions bcz we are family.

What do I do ? how do I turn this around?

TLDR: Father (diabetic) and sensitive 23F sister (BMI 32+) are struggling with weight and discipline in diet. Sister ignores nutritionists; Dad panics about her marriage while having serious health issues. How can I help?

It’s been four months since I started my first job and I’ve already started dreading it. I hate almost every aspect of it. It gives me constant anxiety - not just before work but also after work, on weekends and even when I’m on vacation.

I’ve started developing a strong dislike for my manager because almost every time we’ve had a call, he’s criticised me for something or the other. Let me share a recent incident.

I’m currently an intern at a company that operates remotely, and this is my first ever corporate job. Before this, I didn’t even know that brands prepared quarterly plans. My POC told me that we needed to create a Q4 plan for our client. We both created the plan together but of course he was leading, but on the day we were supposed to present it to the manager he took the day off. So the manager discussed the plan with me and started scolding me, saying that it was complete rubbish and asking if this was really what we intended to present to the client. He then told me that going forward, I would no longer be reporting to my POC and would instead report directly to him regarding the client. He also asked me to create an entirely new Q4 plan which I’m supposed to present tomorrow.

Honestly this job feels like a dead end to me. I spent years preparing for government exams before finally landing this job, and I’ve only recently started earning. I can’t afford to quit now because I don’t want to be financially dependent on my parents anymore.

At the same time, I genuinely don’t know if this is what everyone’s first job is supposed to feel like. Is it normal to feel this miserable and anxious so early in your career? Or is this a sign that I’m simply not cut out for this kind of work?

Part of me wants to go back to preparing for government exams because honestly this corporate life feels like something I just can’t handle. But I also know I can’t make an impulsive decision right now. And I feel completely stuck between staying in a job that is making me miserable and going back to something I’ve already spent years preparing for.

i really really really hate my periods oh god they make me so damn emotional two days before😭 I end up on the verge of tears for everything literally everything. I have to study for my exams but I can't because I am on my periods oh god i can't wait to get over with this 💔

I got a job offer a couple days ago. It's a 3 month long internship with full time conversion based on performance (I've heard the conversation rates are high). The stipend is 30k.

My mother is extremely emotionally abusive, she has always provided for me financially but she put me through a lot. All I've ever wanted was to earn so that I could get the fuck away from her. 2 months ago we had a huge fight so I ran away from my house and have been staying at uncle's+granny's house since.

Anyways, I need to move to a different state in a week for the job. My mom does not want me to. She came to my uncle's house a couple hours ago and it's like world war 3 here (I locked myself in a room).

My uncle and granny cannot financially support my move, only my mom can but since she's saying she won't, I'm thinking of applying for one of those instant loans available on UPI apps. I'll need 30k for rent + first months expenses. I can pay it back within 6 months, I'll have to pay around 4-5k extra bcoz interest but I should be able to manage.

Has anyone faced something like this? Does anyone have any experience with instant loans like these? Is it a good move?

i’m 26 and still haven’t found a single pair of jeans that fit me properly 😭

i have a pear shaped body so my lower half is bigger (?) than my chest and shoulders. its very inconvenient because im 164 or 5’3 and a half and so the jeans that fit my height are usually 29 or 30. but they are very tight around my hips and thighs so i always have to size up to 32.

32 is too long for me and i have to pin up the waist band because it is loose around my waist but fits perfectly around my hips and thighs. 31 is kinda here or there too. i don’t know what to do.

i really don’t like having to fold the jeans near my ankles and sewing them makes the bottom part look heavy and weird. is there any brand specifically that might fit better?

for context, i have never had the best female friendships or romantic endeavors and i feel i will always just be this lonely girl with so much sadness inside her.

none of my friends would ever put effort or go out of their way to help me but love ranting and asking me for help. the guy i was seeing said that he can't do long distance and i get it but why am i the one left alone again and again.

today as i am in my bed in a new city with noone to call, it makes me wonder why can't i escape this no matter how much i run away from my home. i just want to be loved

Hi ladies! I’m looking to buy an outfit for Diwali, but I’m so confused about where to shop in Gurgaon/Delhi. I don’t really know many places here, and I’m not sure if I’ll find anything I like at malls with the usual brands like Fabindia, Aurelia, W etc.

Please suggest some good places to shop for pretty ethnic wear. I’m open to local markets, boutiques, small stores, or anything you’ve personally tried and loved.
I just don’t want to end up overpaying for something that isn’t worth it or get scammed.
Would love to hear your recommendations! 🫶

I am 17, turning 18 next year. I had a really bad episode of low blood pressure yesterday and had to get multiple IVs. My family brought in a doctor at home that has been treating them for a really long time. After putting in the IV, he did the usual BP check and heart rate check. Then he squeezed my stomach to check if there was any gas, which is fine of course, that wasn't the weird part

Then he put his hands on my chest, squeezing, asking if anything hurt. i thought that was just standard procedure, I said no it didn't hurt. then he did it multiple times, too many to count. I kept saying no it didn't hurt. His hands went over my nipples multiple times. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know if this was wrong or not. i was too scared to do anything. Then he went from asking if it hurts, to asking if I liked it. i pushed his hand away after that. Then he got up and left

I don't know what to feel about this. I don't understand what happened. I don't know what to do

Update: I was too scared to tell my mom so i told my sister first and then she told mom. My mom just ended up yelling at me, saying I'm too dumb and that I should've said something to them. She didn't even understand why I froze, Plus I had two IVs connected to me, How in the world was I supposed to go to them to tell them??? Such a beautiful world we live in