Let me give you context:

I met my husband in 2014, after church. We were all hanging out after church and he approached me...

We have been through tough times, really tough. God has carried us through and one of them was trying for a baby. After 9 years of marriage, we've been blessed with twins and considering going for another round of IVF for another baby.

About 6 years ago, however, he started to shift and told me he's not interested in attending church, it was during the pandemic and in a way, I understood that it became comfortable to sleep extra rather than wake up on a Sunday to go to church. We moved in 2022 and I insisted we find a nearby church so we don't have to waste hours on a bus going to and coming back from church. He agreed and we joined a lovely community. For the first time, we started to attend more community meetings (half through the week where we have deeper conversations, we pray together....) and meanwhile he's become more absorbed by the social media.... The pregnancy time was great, church was very hands on and helping especially the first few months after the arrival of the twins (they will turn 2 next month). Since last year, he's very much on the "awakening" path.

No more church, no praying since I don't remember last time, no more communion, no more worship music... He's following different people online that feed him with information such as: Jesus is not the real name, we are gods, we don't need to pray, breathing is praying, Paul's gospel is fake, Paul is a fake apostle, the book of Proverbs is plagiarism.... I could go on and on...

I'm crying a lot, I don't know what to do, I'm praying and I have periods of time where I can't even pray anymore, talking to him about it is just going to get him more into this nonsense... I feel I failed marrying him but at the same time I don't know how could I have predicted this? I wanted a husband that is a strong Christian, a pillar for me and for the kids to come. Now he's making comments when I tell the girls to pray before we eat, saying I indoctrinate them... I don't feel free to pray around him, let alone with him (I don't remember the last time we prayed)....

What would you do?

I have a deep desire for God to use me in some way. I have a six figure job, but I honestly want to leave it to be used in God in some way. I constantly seek the scriptures, seek theology, I mean this is a non arrogant way but I am constantly consumed by something relating to Christianity. I absolutely love it. I find no greater joy than talking to someone about Christ or talking to other believers about the mysteries of the Bible or hard doctrines of the church. I used to be so happy in my walk with God but ever since I have had a desire to be used by God I am honestly depressed. I have watched God work in and use others around me and I’m just supposed to act all happy for them? I’ve seen God have men gain somewhat of a ministry around me, and just them “walking into” it basically. Having no desire for it but they find their way into one. I have prayed countless prayers, worked tirelessly to gain knowledge about God as I feel we are called to do. I even started a blog on theology thinking maybe that was what God wanted me to do… and God just refuses to use me. It’s made me not want to pickup my Bible lately, not listen to sermons or theology podcasts, not read any books because what’s the point? I know God uses people that aren’t equipped and I should be happy for those he has used. But honestly it’s so depressing. “A man reaps what he sows” I watch people who barely read their Bible get used by God and I tirelessly seek him and nothing happens. It makes me want to leave the faith, because if God won’t use me what is the point?

I made a post here a while back about why you should listen to Bach's music if you're a Christian

I made a post on other subs about this work I wanted to highlight. This work (among many others of his) offers a lot to learn and meditate upon, as they are God's word set to some of the most masterfully crafted music we have ever been blessed by.

Bach has set the Passion of Christ according to the different evangelists several times to music.

Have a listen to "St Matthew Passion - Komm, süßes Kreuz" it's available on YouTube, but I cannot link it here due to subreddit rules.

This movement in Bach's St Matthew Passion is the point where Simon is commanded to help Jesus carry the cross.

The compositional style gives deep insights into Lutheran theology. It is also a very rare example of Bach's writing where he enacts physical struggle to music, and makes the music behave as though a body is struggling to move. It is almost grotesque, body horror like, in its rendition of physical weakness. The violist here even looks like someone struggling to carry a cross.

Consider the opening words:

Komm, süßes Kreuz, so will ich sagen.

Come, sweet cross, thus will I say.

The cross is not sweet because pain is good in itself, nor because suffering earns salvation.

Bach does not musically argue that the cross is sweet. He makes the listener experience how it might be sweet to the person who bears it in faith. The music does not float above suffering, rather trudges through it. It finds beauty in bearing it. The viola seems to enact the pitiful stumbling and struggling Jesus must have made carrying his cross to Golgotha. The more we feel the physical indignity of the Passion, the more weight the theological paradox acquires.

In the context of Christ's passion, the sweetness has a real source. The very cross that Simon is compelled to carry is the cross on which Christ will accomplish the redemption of the world.

The sweetness of the cross is not a sweetness of sensation. It is a sweetness of salvation.

Hi everybody, I thought I’ll tell you my story about how Christ in his infinite grace saved me.

I originally come from a Muslim country and in middle school when learning about the reformation I came across a picture of John Calvin and it stuck with me for years. I couldn’t explain it but I wanted to find more about what he taught and what his and the many other reformers beliefs were about. After a decade as I was studying in university I saw the same image and was instantly taken back to my childhood. I began researching more and visited a reformed church in the Netherlands and sat and watched a sermon. I didn’t know the language but they were kind enough to still invite me in. I got to sit down on my own and stare at the cross and ponder my inner beliefs and from there my life wasn’t the same. I have been spending the last few months reading and learning about this beautiful faith and it has awakened in me the kind of relief and happiness I previously didn’t possess. I do genuinely believe Christ in that moment saved me and lifted all the burdens and worries from my heart. I will forever be grateful to him for saving a sinner like me.

Right now I am further educating myself on Christianity and hope that I’ll get to be accepted by my family of my change of faith. Please pray for everybody, I hope everybody will be able to find peace and happiness in Christ in the way I managed to. God bless all of you❤️

I’m not writing this to “demonize” (no pun intended) people with mental health issues. But after my experience, I’m now convinced some of them are demon possessions.

I always knew I was Asperger’s Syndrome”. However, do to my frequent erratic mood swings, erratic swings from not feeling suicidal at all to tying a noose to hang myself with, participating in self destructive behaviors, having full blown meltdowns over petty squabbles with my wife, uncontrollable angeretc. I was pretty much demonstrating many of the textbook symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (pretty much was confirmed by a test done by a therapist). It was destroying my marriage, to the point recently that she pretty much said “If you are intent with being this way, then I’ll let you. But I can’t be with you if you don’t change”.

Well, I wanted to change, but was feeling incredibly hopeless. I went to various churches (mainly “evangelical” churches, as well as a Pentecostal). but all felt dead to me. And I was never into God like my wife is. However, during this terrible time, without any planning or thought whatsoever, I didn’t decide to fast, I felt “compelled” to fast. I never fasted before. However, I fasted without food for 2 whole days, while working 12+ hour days as an oilfield trucker. I listened to nothing besides an audiobook version of the NKJV, Orthodox Christian chants/hymns, or YouTube videos with Orthodox priests (mainly Father Moses, Father Spyridon, and Patristic Nectar). Specifically, one video titled “Stop Torturing Yourself” was possibly the most impactful video I’ve ever watched on YouTube. And I continuously repented to God throughout the fast, even if it was just “Lord Have Mercy On Me” repeatedly.

In a very short amount of time, I feel like I made a 180 turn. I feel at peace, tranquility, calm, and dare I say joy, for the first time in a very long time. My relationship with my wife is changing dramatically as well. When we talk, I engage a lot more, if she gets upset at me, I listen, reflect calmly with understanding (even if not agreeing). In terms of sex, she always felt used and that I treated her like a piece of meat, but now my attitudes are changing. I sat down with her and said “I desire sex with you. I think you’re beautiful. But I went through things the wrong way. I used you for carnal pleasure or to soothe my own ego, which was wrong. But when you’re ready and the next time we have sex, I want to actually enjoy and cherish you, I want to love you. I’m sorry for my selfishness, and if you need time, I accept that, and perhaps the Lords needs me to further face my sinful nature head-on”.

Anyways, I feel the transformation. And reflecting back, I felt I wasn’t in control with myself. I literally felt possessed. And reading Mark 9:29 which states “And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting." I wonder if this was the case for me. It almost destroyed me and everything I’ve loved, and no matter what else I tried, or how many therapy sessions I couldn’t control it.

And I reflect back, and there were many things that I did that probably invited it. I excessively watched porn (even during sexual dry spells with my wife, I actively searched for videos of women that looked like her). A lot of the music I listened to was dark and not of God,I was an avid listener of Black Metal. And during my anti-theistic atheist days, I would even listen to bands such as Deicide, Vital Remains, and even a song titled “F-ck the Ways of Christ” by Acheron repeatedly. And I used to watch [r/watchpeopledie](r/watchpeopledie) a lot before it was banned.

And my perception of demon possession has changed. We think if the stereotypical “The Exorcist” type of possession when we think of demon possession, but I’m starting to think that oftentimes, demon possession can take the form of erratic/self-destructive behaviors, or quiet yet constant and dark suicidal and/or homocidal thoughts, etc.

It’s just my thoughts. I’m not proclaiming these as facts.

Sometimes the world feels so loud but when I pray everything goes quiet. It makes me happy that Jesus knows my name and cares about every little detail of my life. He gives me comfort, peace, and strength. He hears my quietest prayers and is always here for me. It’s the gentlest purest love imaginable, and He’s truly my Savior and my best friend ever ✞ and I hope you know that He loves you and that He’s always with you no matter what, even throughout your struggles. We’re all very loved by Jesus, more than we can comprehend. Thank you for everything Jesus :D

I've been a Jehovah's Witnesses bible study for almost 10years, I didn't get baptized though. But my best friend and my parent's long time family friend (an old married couple) were the ones that did a bible study to me. Long story short, I found Jesus just this year and started reading the bible since last year.

My hesitation before why I didn't got baptized started about their views of rapture (which they said that had already happened by 1914) and the anointed ones are the only people that eats the unleavened bread and wine every memorial (144,000 chosen ones) and I've never saw one though, especially that they said that Jesus was Michael Archangel.

And now my best friend has been giving me bible verses

(Deuteronomy 5:9, Deutronomy 6:15, Matthew 3:17)

Although I don't really believe their views anymore, but one thing that still creeps into mind is the trinity. Especially when Yahweh said that he's a jealous God. I'm definitely afraid of God's wrath. But I will never ever abandon Jesus, of all the things I've encountered. I'm a new believer. And I know this has been an attack with my faith, I would never ever look back. But please strengthen me. I've been literally taught that Jesus was a son (created by Father), and have treated Jesus just like a tool to get closer to Father (Jehovah) and just to be a sacrificial lamb, not that he was the Lord because they only believe that Jehovah is the only God. And I believed that for 15yrs. And I definitely regretted that. My starting point of finding God messed up my mind. And now I feel like an Israelite wandering in the wilderness after being delivered from the Egyptians, unlearning the things I used to believe. Please strengthen me.

I was a christian all my life, and then about 10 years ago something happened that I can't explain, but it broke me completely and I lost my faith. I screamed in suffering every day during that time because I had nothing and no one to help me. Then on August 19th of this year God saved me again, I believe in him again, but the pain is still here and has increased. I'm breaking, I can't live life like this. Yes I have a psychiatrist and a therapist but they can't help. Only God can help me but for some reason he is not. Why? I want God back but I'm too broken, and he isn't healing me no matter what I do or try. This is just a venting thread, I'm not expecting any breakthroughs here.

It's awful that too often the advice given in this sub when someone has an issue or a problem at their church is just "leave your church".

No church is perfect and you will never find one. The saying goes "if you find a church you think is perfect, don't join it, cause YOU will mess it up."

If someone is unkind to you: "You should leave"

If an off-hand comment is made: "Leave!"

If there's a scandal of some sort: "Run!"

Brothers and sisters, over and over Jesus tells us to forgive, and what's more, LOVE eachother so that TOGETHER we may grow to be more like Christ. If you've caught your brother or sister in sin the WORST thing you can do is abandon them and leave them to suffer and struggle alone. Jesus said it is the sick that need healing. Do not leave when you can help them. Church is a place where we gather to worship God and fellowship with one another. That means we share and go through our lives with eachother. Our times of joy, our times of sorrow, AND our times of struggle.

Even Paul told Christians not to leave their unbelieving spouses because you, being a Christian, can be the example that person needs to make them seek the Lord. We are family in Christ. Do not abandon your brothers and sisters for your own comforts. Do not abandon the flock because of one "wolf" or black sheep. Forgive as Jesus forgives. Love as Jesus loves. And disciple one another so that TOGETHER we may grow ever more into His image.

Hey everyone, ❤️✝️

I've been struggling with a lot of doubts lately, and I'd really appreciate some advice or encouragement from fellow Christians.

I have OCD, and one of the things I struggle with most is having intrusive thoughts about my faith. Sometimes, thoughts like "Is Jesus really real?" pop into my head out of nowhere. Other times, when I see people who don't believe in Jesus, I start thinking, "What if they're right and I'm wrong?"

These thoughts are really distressing because my faith means so much to me. I love the Lord, and I genuinely want to grow closer to Him, but these intrusive thoughts sometimes make me question everything. I even start wondering whether the fact that I struggle with these thoughts means my faith isn't strong enough. I find myself asking, "Why am I even having these thoughts about something I believe in so deeply?"

What makes it even harder is that, in these moments, I sometimes feel as though God has abandoned me or no longer wants me. I start feeling distant from Him, and it can be frightening because the last thing I want is to lose my relationship with the Lord.

I know that having an intrusive thought doesn't necessarily mean I believe it, but knowing that doesn't always make the thoughts any easier to deal with. Sometimes, the more I worry about my faith, the more anxious I become, and the harder it feels to find peace in my relationship with God.

So, I'd really appreciate some advice on how to navigate this. How can I grow in my faith while dealing with OCD and intrusive thoughts? How can I learn to deal with these thoughts without letting them affect my relationship with God so much?

If any fellow Christians have experienced something similar, I'd be especially grateful to hear about your experiences and what has helped you.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. May God bless you all! ❤️✝️

A video in r/ BlackPeopleTwitter came across my feed randomly called "Christian hypocrisy", where a TikTok video asks live-streaming Christians to read hard to explain Bible passages. Unfortunately, I couldn't reply because I guess you have to be a verified member or whatever. So I thought I would post here.

Firstly, the video host references a study how certain Christians react defensively when specific controversial or difficult verses from the Bible are brought up to them - sending them into a fight or flight mode.

I would venture to guess that this phenomena happens not just to Christians, but to anyone who's world view or core belief is shaken when brought into question.

The video references challenging scriptures things like:
- Numbers 31: 17-18
- 1 Corinthians 11: 5-6

The comments were pretty disheartening as usual with something like this. But I thought it might actually be a unique strategy to get Christians around me to read their Bible.

Note: Church teaching has explanations for these scriptures and it is just a Google search away if anyone really wants to know.

It is sad to see how some of the Christians in the video react negatively - while not every Christian would react that way. I don't think it is reasonable to expect that every single story in the entirety of the Bible will be immediately explainable on the spot when ambushing the average Christian in this way.

That being said, every Christian absolutely should read the Bible, work to understand it, and be able to defend their faith. While there are a LOT who really do practice Christianity well, I think we would have less of the current political/social chaos if more Christians practiced what Jesus actually taught and lead by example.

Unfortunately, in videos like noted above, not everyone has a Doctorate in Theology - so they won't have all of the answers on the spot given the context of a few thousand years of complicated history and culture any more than if you asked the average person how a transmission works even though they rely on one every single day of their lives, and then suggesting they should stop driving until they have learned every nuance, maintenance, repair, etc (let alone the rest of the car in all of its complexity).

The core teaching of Jesus was simple - You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself.

Everything starts with this principle and seems simple on the surface, and even this brief statement is ripe for misinterpretation. Read the Bible yourself. Get to know Jesus yourself. If only as an interesting or wise philosopher at first as one would read about anyone or anything, and see how His word grows on you.

His way is surprisingly simple, and surprisingly challenging because it goes straight to the heart.

God used to be my best friend. I used to talk to God more than man. I used to believe we had such a special bond as daughter and father. The love was felt throughout my whole body. There was so much gratitude and love in my heart for God to the point I heard his voice for the first time. Because of our closeness I was experiencing miracles a lot more often which kept my faith and belief strong. I was even ready to become a nun because the world could not offer me the kind of love that exists in Jesus.

But 2026 has been strange. I feel far from God. I masturbate almost every day of my life, my body only responds to lust, lustful men, lustful conversations, lustful behaviour, it makes me believe God can’t stand me, that he’s disgusted with me. Im messy, I don’t clean anymore. My attention span is worse than it used to be, I don’t feel as strong and as secure as I used too. My mind is filled with negativity and I’m super cynical. Sometimes I don’t even believe God will pull me out of difficult situations anymore, at 26 it’s becoming hard to believe God will bring marriage and kids into my life because of how deep in lust I am. A part of me is angry at God, angry that he let me go through so many heart breaks. Angry that my life is not where I want it to be. Angry that I spend so much time in isolation now. Angry at how people treat me like Im so unimportant yet I’m supposed to treat them with love. But I believe it’s just misdirected anger and I’m really just angry and disappointed with myself. I’m lonely, I don’t have many friends anymore. The only thing going for me is that I have a successful career and I’m in school to earn more money. I don’t feel connected to God anymore and it makes me extremely sad. I’m tired of suffering. I’m tired of being overlooked. I’m angry that I can’t talk to God face to face. Idk I just wish God would try a little be more for me …. Then I slip into guilt that I should be grateful for life, for my body, for my lungs my heart. My job my opportunities to come and then comes shame. Today I thought a miracle happened in my life but I was wrong and ended up disappointed and let down and it made me question if God is even real.. made me feel like what if I’ve just been making everything up. The thought of reading the bible makes me want to scream just feel so broken. I’m tired of living in this cycle I just want closeness with God again but I’m not sure how to start anymore my heart is hurting

I need to hear God speak through his people pls

About a year ago when I was homeless, me and a group of people were standing outside in the freezing cold waiting to get checked into a shelter. They weren't letting anybody in because someone had broken a window and they wanted to figure out who did it first.

While we were all standing outside, there was a man folded over on the ground clearly expressing discomfort and pain. It was freezing and I felt genuinely bad for him, so I went up to the person running the shelter that night and asked if they could just let him inside so he wouldn't have to suffer out there.

They told me they couldn't.

After about 30 minutes of people arguing about who broke the window, I got genuinely furious. I couldn't understand how we were all standing outside in freezing temperatures while this man was on the ground suffering.

Eventually I snapped and shouted along the lines of this wasn't right and that I rebuke this place in Jesus' name.

I ended up getting banned from the shelter for one night because of it.

I've thought about this a lot over the past year and I'm still trying to understand what happened that night from a Christian perspective. I believe in Jesus and the power of His name, and in that moment I was genuinely furious about what was happening. Part of me wonders if the Holy Spirit was moving me to stand up for someone who couldn't really stand up for himself.

At the same time, I don't want to assume that just because I felt so strongly about something, it automatically means the Holy Spirit was involved. I know I was angry, and maybe I could've handled the situation differently.

Was I justified in rebuking that place in Jesus' name? Is there a biblical basis for doing something like that when you believe you're witnessing injustice, or was I speaking out of anger rather than the Holy Spirit?

I'm curious what other Christians think about this. Do you think there's a possibility the Holy Spirit was moving me to speak up, or was it more likely my own anger and frustration? Was I right to stand up for that man even though I lost my temper?

I'm not trying to act like I know exactly what God was doing that night. This has just stayed on my mind for a long time, and I'd genuinely appreciate hearing other people's thoughts and what the Bible says about situations like this.

I know it’s not a sin to question God, Job does that a lot. I love Jesus and he has done so many good things in my life, I completely believe in him, but i feel immense guilt every time I question things.

Now it’s not that I don’t believe in God, I really do but it’s just extremely hard in today’s society, especially when the Bible can be interpreted in several way, I don’t understand the argument that “it’s in the Bible” because mankind can not be trusted, God states mankind can be deceiving so how can you fully believe in something written by man? As Christians we believe in the New and Old Testament but suddenly we don’t practice certain things, I get that animal sacrifice is no longer needed because of Jesus but why are some things now allowed and some things aren’t?

Why were several books removed from the Bible, who got to decide that? If you open the bible app there’s 1000 of different translations and interpretations (NIV,KJV,CEB) the Lord said not to alter or change the Word (paraphrasing) so what if im reading the wrong one? What if my interpretation of a passage isn’t correct? What if because several books have been removed, words removed and added, I’m following the wrong ideologies?

I know we’re given a spirit of discernment but how can I tell if its the Holy Spirit or just my brain talking.

Throughout history we see the Bible being used to obtain power and justify unholy acts I mean people used to use it to justify slavery and murder. And that’s completely immoral.

How can I trust in the Bible knowing some people in power doctored it because they believed it was best fit?

I hope you guys can help me why am I experiencing this.

Before I always pray and expect god would atleast grant my pray even if it's not exactly that. Even just a meagre yet he always fails me.

Now I still pray, yet the hope is gone. I know without faith to God is sin, yet it also bring us pain. Faith and hope the same coin.

I hope someone can still help me. The only reason why am I asking is am scared of sinning. But other than that, there's nothing.

I’ve been a believer since childhood and was recently baptized. But I don’t think I’ve been baptized in the Holy Spirit.
I’ve attended many conferences, prayer meetings, and so on.
There were some emotional moments with God. However, there wasn’t a specific day when I was baptized in the Holy Spirit (many Christians even ask for a specific date).
And I’m starting to wonder—maybe I’m just not meant for this? I’ve lost hope, and I think that no amount of worship evenings or prayers will help me.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Do you have any advice?

If God doesn't hear the prayers of a sinner and you committed a terrible sin and....

He still answered your prayer after you had remorse in your heart, that means He forgave you which means you should praise Him for 1. Talking to you. 2. Having mercy in you. Alot just don't think anything of it or forgot they said the prayer and moved in with 0 praise, thanks, and relationship with Him.

You will never be bored if you're waiting for something, or someone, don't take out your phone but think about all the times He helped you because He heard your call and had mercy on you. Doing this will actually change your life, it because you want anything back but because you're truly grateful and when He's pleased, He will give you a blessing.

I’m 25 ( f ) and began attending an evangelical church around a year ago with my boyfriend (now ex.) His parents, brothers & their wives and uncle and auntie also attend the same church.
We had completed Christianity explored with the Pastor and his wife at their home back in Nov-Feb time.

Since I have been at the church, I have undergone a lot of personal troubles. My boyfriend and I have been through 2 break ups and my mum had a stroke.
Throughout this time, lots of people in the church reached out to me via WhatsApp to support me. I had lots of support from the pastors wife and some other ladies at church. I had some messages from the pastor too but all very ‘corporate’ if you like.

Since the most recent break up, I have been attending church alone. I went back for the first time last week and spoke to the pastor. He was asking how I was and I told him I’d been struggling and told him what had been going on. Just for context - he knows that my ex cheated on me in Feb and had been trying to mentor him. I then recently told him how angry my ex had been if he ever felt I didn’t trust him
We were speaking privately in another room to the congregation. I ended up getting quite upset due to what I was going through.
After I’d offloaded, he prayed for/with me. All fine and normal. Although in his prayer, he did call me ‘beautiful’ which caught me off guard but then followed with ‘made in Your image.’

But as we got up to leave the room, he said ‘I want to be mindful of how much time I spend one on one with you as you’re a very attractive young lady.’
I laughed it off. But since that day, it has played on my mind a little. I don’t know if I’m overthinking it but I can’t help but feel a little off? I just wanted to know other people’s opinions on this…

I am able to take criticism, but please remember to be kind. It has been a heavy, confusing and painful year.

Ok, say that you were writing a story set in Eden. For some time, for some reason, God and Jesus had reopened the hidden garden only to the saved souls. Said souls can choose to be remade into better versions of their Earth bodies and live in the garden for 100 years before returning to Heaven. They can marry, have children and live in peace. It’s better than Earth but not as great as Heaven. 
Yet, as everything is still affected by Adam’s fall, should there still be some setbacks? Even in the reopened Eden? Would there still be pain and sickness but with faster healing and bliss? Should the remade beings have a longing for Earth? Would they be able/allowed to visit (albeit as invisible beings that can’t be heard from or touched by the living)? When in Eden, would God allow the remade beings to be tested (even though the beings would always succeed thanks to God and Jesus’s help)? Would the remade beings be able to fly and/or fight off demons on Earth? How could/should this work?

I mean beside the bible, is the book good? I have found his book for sale in marketplace. I downloaded his book to see the contents inside and one of the interesting thing that pick me is the contemplative part. Someone like me who delves in Buddhism, is his book good way to enter Christianity again?

I want to have a loving relationship with God yet the mindfulness and meditation I learn from Buddhism kept me. Is this book good?

I'm a Lutheran (putting that beforehand to make it clear that the "no contraceptives" side doesn't affect me because I don't care)

To put it simply. I have a lot of different reasons from practical to philosophical to why I believe it's wrong for me to have offspring.

Like there are the usual reasons. There are a lot of people already. Why don't I just adopt or have foster children. Etc

There are also the personal reasons. I have ADHD and OCD, both of them are heretical. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't consider ending it all. To pass this onto another human being just because "muh genetics" would be the most greedy selfish thing imaginable.

If hell does indeed exist. Why would I bring life to this earth, if there's even a 1% chance of them ending up in eternal torment. How could I justify possibly adding fuel to hellfire, just because "I want babby"

I've been frightened about the possibility of condoms not working to the point where I think it's reasonable for me to just get a vasectomy. No more accidents!

I'm curious to know what you guys think.

I feel like screaming at this point. I don’t know how to lean on God because my mind is jumbled up. I look back over this year and I see that I was sick. I want to love people and not sin. I think I do a good job but everything else falling apart. My room is a mess. I struggle to do everything else but I know God loves me but I feel like I failed him with my symptoms. Everyday I knew what scriptures to go to or what to tell other people or be optimistic. I wish I never think about what other people say about mental illness and me being sick because it make things fall apart, I was standing tall and nothing could get to me because I had my eyes on God but even writing this makes me feel like I failed. I wanted him to be so proud of me. But I got scared and I talk about how scared I am. I wanted to have faith and I was going to bring so many people to God. It’s not that I don’t believe God can help me. He is refining me through this but I don’t want to break his heart anymore I’m so sad. He’s right there and I’m so sad. I wish I didn’t have this so I could do more for him I’m so sad.

“but shewed first unto them of Damascus, and at Jerusalem, and throughout all the coasts of Judæa, and then to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, and do works meet for repentance. ”

Acts 26:20 KJV

If belief is all we need, why did Paul say this is what he taught? Works seem to be a part, yet many claim all Paul taught was faith alone. Please for those who just say faith alone explain why Paul stated this and not just faith alone