It's weird because normally I would be crashing, spiraling all over the place. I was for maybe the first 3 days very emotional, and I cried a lot, but I handled myself really well out in public, and I did most of my crying at home alone. Therapy's been going really good, lately I am learning new things about myself, things I guess I always knew, but just never really paid attention to because I didn't think it really mattered until now, because it does matter. I can see the bad parts of myself. The oversensitive parts of myself. The scared parts. The shameful parts. The hateful parts, and I just don't wanna feel any of those things anymore. Of course I understand I need them, and need to feel them in order to be a healthy adult. I know I'm a wounded child looking for safety, and I'll look for it anywhere. Which can be a problem because that's a performative action, and I'm tired of performing... I need to be able to sit comfortably inside my own aloneness without feeling like I need somebody they're with me. I need to stop searching for the love I was never given by my parents. I need to accept that the past is the past and I need to be mindfully in the present so I can be happy in my future... My therapist is the best one I have ever had. I'm in the proper therapy though now, so there's a reason it's working. I literally couldn't find the correct therapy my whole life, cause I didn't know what was going on with me until this year. Mindfullness, Shadow work, and studying Carl Jung is helping me so much. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust again without my trauma responses popping back up, but I still have hope. No one can take that from me❣️

This has been happening for more than a year now and it’s exhausting. It also doesn’t help that physical symptoms accompany the thoughts, usually heat and tension in the muscles (in the upper arms and sometimes thighs) if I’m distressed or anxious or angry, and heaviness and achiness if I’m depressed, like there is cement in my limbs. I’m terrified these symptoms will become stronger and permanent and more constant and disable me. I’m also not sure if I can ever get to a point where I’m not thinking about the trauma all the time. I have OCD and I feel that’s definitely been playing a part in the constancy of the thoughts but not sure if that explains the physical reactions. Any thoughts?

I need help. I have 39F, living with painful memories of being hurt, humiliated, punished, not heard, misunderstood by people since I was 5 yrs old (mostly all family) around me. Here is a summary of my life :

I was a quiet, simple, less demanding and disciplined kid as I am aware of myself.

My mom has her own trauma , ocd etc which family members deal with. Father has been a busy, absent individual who had a difficult job to focus on.

Chapter 1 (LKG - 3rd Std) -

• At 5 yrs of age, I was sent to my uncle's place to study due to lack of good schools where my father was posted and my 2 yr younger brother needed more attention from my mom. No memories before 5 so I assume all was well.
  • I faced partiality, my cousin would ask me to just eat 1 sandwich and not ask for more.
  • I was assaulted by my cousin physically. Started with kissing, followed by some more. Nobody knows about this, not even my mom.
  • Once I had vomit during sleep and poop on the bed, I was scolded and hit hard.
  • Once I shook hands with one friend in a party, I was shamed by my aunt next day.
  • Once I came back from home with dirty sandy socks from school picnic, I was scolded badly by my aunt.
  • Once I was hit hard by my uncle for not studying properly.
  • Once in a year during summer vacation, I used to visit my parents place. There also, my mom or dad would never hug me. No hugs, no kisses and no show of affection.
  • I stayed there for 3 years and eventually realized the partiality of not being at home and came back to my parents place permanently. That time as well, I was scolded, hit multiple times by my uncle, mom to continue studying there.

Summary - I became a silent kid, distant from my parents. No emotional connection may be. But at least I felt home and I think that itself felt like a safe place.

Chapter 2 (4th - 8th Std) -

• Didn't keep any hard feelings for my parents or uncle/aunt/cousin as a growing kid.
• Felt like home yet being distant from parents (emotionally) was normal. We had everything else available on time - good food, outings, good school, friends etc. all luxuries available except for quality conversations with parents.

Summary - Focused on studies, stepping into teenage.

Chapter 3 - (9-12th Std) -

• Continued being good in studies in a new city, new school, new friends.
• On the other side, Being a good looking girl, I always received compliments and I was aware that I look good. I started getting interest in getting ready, fashion, makeup etc.
• With constant attention from boys, got into a short fling with a senior boy in school.
• It was pure, surreal feeling like your first time in love. It felt like magic.
• Bad luck, my parents and school got to know about it and i was put into a house arrest.
• Though I was good in studies, I was shamed extremely at home and in school.
• I was continuously abused verbally everyday and bitten up by father.
• I was not allowed to go to school, continue studying. My mom was talking about getting me married etc etc. The trauma went on for 4 years (9-12th).

Summary - If I think of that phase now, I believe that was a normal teenage fling which would have anyway wouldn't have gone any further. If parents were friendly and spoke to me clearly, may be the situation could have been handed in a better way. That was darkest phase of my life.

Chapter 4 - (Engineering, Marriage, Kid and life now )

• Been my batch topper, got placed in top company and started working.
• Got into a relationship with a guy in college, good looking, friendly, nice human being.
• But guess what I was too giving in that relationship. Realized it much later after marrying the same guy that he is emotionally unavailable kind of person.
• Now I read children who are raised in emotionally unavailable homes with parents , also attract similar partners.
• I see that straightforward in my life.
• Fought with parents to marry this guy, after child - our relationship is ruined due to in laws interferences and my husband of course taking their side.
• Now we are just living in one house like flat mates , no connection, nothing - emotional, mental or physical. We haven't been intimate for last 2 years.

My usual behavior -

• I get hurt by small things - be it my husband, a cold neighbor.
• I am getting too protective about my child and get into argument when he doesn't get along with other kids.
• I distant myself from people, try to make new friends and suddenly pull back when I dont feel some good vibes.
• I think I strongly believe or understand something and quickly make judgements about people.
• I get into lot of anxiety, all the memories from the past again and again.
• I am binge eating, not taking care of my health and career.

Please help.

There was a fatal car crash outside of my partner’s work today. Him and a few coworkers heard it and responded. I don’t know to what extent they saw/assisted as he hasn’t told me and I don’t want to push.

I don’t know what to do to help him. He very much keeps to himself already and I just want to be the most supportive I can. Right now I’m just answering his texts and not brining anything up that’s related to the crash.

We don’t live together and I won’t see him until the weekend when he comes back to town from work.

Any advice in how I can support him?

This is the third or fourth time in my life where someone has claimed to love me and then broke me down. Am I the problem at this point?

For background, I am the child of a caring, but deeply emotionally unregulated parent who can easily flip on a dime from kindness to pure anger. I made friends—but it happens that I’m often left behind, or considered not as worthwhile, and then I stop really mattering. Then, I was viciously emotionally abused by a friend—some would call it a situationship?—that broke me down in ways I was afraid I would never recover from.

I did. And now, it’s happened again. Two of my friends staged an intervention for me, saying I was apologizing more than ever and that my confidence had been shattered. I swore to make the changes I needed to make. And now, they’re rethinking our friendship because I’ve apparently not made progress in the three weeks since they spoke to me.

Is it just a me problem at this point? I’m the only common denominator, so it feels that way. Is there just something so deeply broken or undesirable about me that drives everyone away? Am I not doing something right?

Hi all! I wanted to put this out there for anyone experiencing anxiety, and has trouble finding relief.

Anxiety has had such a hold on my life in the past, and I know what it's like to not want to leave your house or see anyone- even in times of searching for relief. The racing heart, the tightness in your chest, the thoughts that just won't quiet down.

I am holding weekly group distance Reiki sessions as a way to make Reiki more accessible to everyone. While multiple people may participate in the same session, you’ll receive Reiki from the comfort of your own home, wherever you feel most comfortable.

My sessions are heart-centered and empathic, coming from a non-judgemental place. My goal is to hold space for you with accessible Reiki, to help you feel more connected in your body and mind. You do not need to be spiritual to receive Reiki, I just ask that you be open-minded and have trust- and that you want to do the healing work on yourself.

When you sign up for a group distance Reiki session with me, you will not be on a group video or phone call. You can simply relax in your own home, exactly how you want to with no pressure. I will send you a confirmation e-mail with details beforehand, an intuitive write-up for the group after, and Reiki aftercare.

You are invited to take 30 minutes for yourself to just be. My process is simple but wholeheartedly supportive: as a Reiki Master, I connect with Reiki so that it can be sent to you wherever you are. You can be sitting on your couch cuddled up with a blanket, you can be putting your kids to bed, you can be laying in bed preparing for sleep- the great thing about Reiki is that you will receive it regardless of what you are doing in the moment.

However, I do invite you to take some quiet time for yourself, if you can, to enjoy the experience of receiving Reiki. Feel what comes up for you emotionally. See what physical experiences are occurring for you (warmth, tingling, yawning, or nothing!)- every experience is natural and normal.

The purpose of these group Reiki sessions is geared towards calming anxiety. To help quiet your racing thoughts and to come back to yourself. To be in your body and sit with mind without wanting to escape them.

I am so grateful to be offering this type of Reiki session for those who need it, and I'm looking forward to connecting with you.

Cost: $25/ Spot (limited to 8 participants each week)

Reserve your spot: www.rootsthroughreiki.com

Which shapes, you more 🤔? A MAJOR FAILURE, OR A MAJOR SUSSCESS ?.

So I have experienced lots and lots of trauma, the same hands ✋️, that dealt the blows, created a strength 💪 they could never comprehend and will never be able to bend.

I'm working on some trauma art 🎨 and rely enjoying working on it. It's very healing and it's just a different way to explain what I've survived. It's not easy to talk about what happened. So I will let my art 🎨 do the talking. Just joined today. Love ❤️

Alright guys my dad often taunts me, everyday I get three-four taunts for sure, could be way more than that on days, even after studying all day....I am treated like crap, he says I waste food, I waste money, I waste his resources, and that I am a waste.... today things had been piling up for a week...I often do SH, but I had been clean for like a week, today I got the urge, instead of doing that I took some objects that would not break if thrown and threw them across the room, dad came, said lots of stuff, swore at me a lot, then said meri koi aukaat nai hai etc etc, said he would throw me out of the house and well lots more, my brain froze when he was saying all this, I badly SHed after that...I jjst wanted to ask, is this normal behaviour and did overreact (I am 18 years old in class 12 btw)

Never had ONE event that tested ALL my conditions and ALL my trauma triggers at once.

I’m COMPLETELY BLIND, have autism and a heart lung condition and the other day, I went to a doctor’s appointment that put ALL those conditions plus ALL my trauma triggers and fears to the test https://youtu.be/C7h9zHfK6f8?is=A_umrfucvtbukW4x

Hey, I have a huge problem.
I’m insanely insecure, I get jealous when I see other girls pretty (don’t judge me pls) and I hate when I see my man staring at women this made me sooooo devastated like I cry all the time about that thing, the problem is that I’m not ugly, everybody compliments me, but I don’t have the confidence to stop being jealous of other girls or about my bf pls help.

I mean I already am healing I know. But when will I just not automatically go to worst case scenario that- I am alone eternally. It’s so deeply programmed I guess. I’m now 47 yrs and I put so much energy into healing since I was a teen. I thought it’d get easier by now.

Please feel free to provide what might have worked for you personally, or ideas you have for others to move forward, heal, and reclaim power. Anything goes, whether it’s vulnerable, honest, unhinged, or just real… thank you for answering 💗

Need experts advice

Hi,
I don't really know how to write this. You would never tell my story if you look at me at the office or if you talk to me, but I'm really heartbroken. I moved out of my home country 2 months ago to rebuilt a life, I'm alone and I always have so much time to think (don't know if it is positive or not), but I don't know if these things will ever go away to be honest. Some nights I'm just heartbroken and I think about how humanity is fucked up.
I discovered that my father was a ped0 6 years ago, when I was already in my 20s. It's crazy because he is also a buddhist, loves to do charity. I don't know if he ever slept with a child, but I have found 2/3 different diaries in which he was talking about having sex with 12 years old Tunisian children for money and guess who always used to go on vacation in Tunisia? my family, with my father. He also had a diary in which he stalked a 14 years old boy, he was a neighbor. He used to write hours and dates of their "casual" meetings and also looked at his home window. Keep in mind that my father is very old, so he cannot do anything physical. He was also in many different relationships with 20/30 years old guys that he would meet online. He had a specific type: poor, desperate immigrants who would do everything for him. He also had many many many hard disks full of young people images. A nightmare. My father also destroyed my family's financial stability and now my house is my bank's house, because of debts he created. I know, it's crazy. Seems like a movie. I wish it was but it's not.
He also did horrible things to my mom, he used to take pics of her intimate parts when she was sleeping and he would send them to people he met online.
I told everything to my siblings and to my mom. What's crazy? My mom forgave him. She never sued him. I prepared houndreds of prints of screenshots that I have found, but she burned them. At one point, only to have those screenshots of the horrible things that he was doing, I became obsessed with controlling him. I copied his whatsapp on my phone (I'm kinda good with technology), but I became addicted, I have so many traumas about what he was writing.
He had multiple telegram / Facebook / instagram accounts.
I tried to talk to him and forgive because I thought he would change, then I beat him, and now he is blocked everywhere. My mom still lives with him, I think at the end she is a victim but she's also protecting him as a pervert, something that I will never forgive her for.
My relatives are fucked up too. Other "interesting" stories.
Now that you know the ""whole"" story, or the main parts, please tell me how can I go on with my life. I tried with therapy, but I just cannot afford it anymore and to be honest, it's always so hard to start telling this story to somebody new. It's just something that I don't want to do now.
The point is that I have so much rage inside of me. Nobody would never say so, I'm always smiling, I'm always so kind, people say that I'm vert sweet, but I feel dead inside, I feel empty. I don't want to forgive. I want that my father suffers as I'm suffering for something that I didn't do. I was the victim and I'm suffering. He is the p3rvert and has a prepared meal everyday by my mum. instead, I had to leave home and build my life because I was scared that he would do weird stuff to me and I used to sleep with the door locked when I was living with them.
I'm not suicidal, I don't do drugs, but i'm just devastated and I don't think it will ever go away, after 6 years and moving out of my home country. It's the same.

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share my experience and documentation regarding photobiomodulation (PBM) red-light therapy devices from Australian vendor Well Red Pty Ltd (specifically the Duo Coronet helmet, CoroNase nasal unit, and TheraPad T110).

The vendor heavily promotes these devices online for trauma, PTSD, brain inflammation, and neurodegenerative conditions, positioning them as daily home tools for brain health. Given the high cost (over AUD $2,000) and the claims made around mental health and neurological recovery, I want to share the real-world durability and customer support issues before anyone invests.

Summary of Issue & Hardware Failures: I purchased a full set in March 2025 for AUD $2,045.00 (Invoice #2534). Within 8 months, the equipment suffered repeated failures:

1. TheraPad T110: Failed twice (July 2025, September 2025), requiring two complete replacements. Each replacement took 6–7 weeks despite promises of 1–2 week delivery.
2. CoroNase: Complete breakdown in November 2025. The cable connection point broke beyond repair. Photographic evidence shows the cord is only 2mm in diameter and broke further while simply attempting to photograph the defect.
3. Pattern of Systemic Failures: Three component failures within 8 months demonstrate the products are not of acceptable quality under Australian Consumer Law (ACL) statutory guarantees.

Refusal to Honor Warranty & ACL Consumer Rights: When I formally requested a refund under Section 260 of the Australian Consumer Law for major failure, the vendor refused twice, stating they "do not offer returns or refunds" and blaming "lack of care in use," despite my documented evidence of extremely careful handling (devices kept on a dedicated bed, laid flat, and operated via power strip).

Export vs. Medical Marketing Discrepancy: The vendor markets these helmets on her website and blog as treatments for PTSD, stroke, autism, dementia, and brain inflammation. However, she exports them declared as general "wellness devices." This allowed her to avoid strict medical device accountability while passing an unexpected $160 CAD customs duty onto me in Canada.

I have logged a review on ProductReview.com.au and submitted formal reports to CBOS (Tasmania) and the ACCC (accc-report:0180320).

Despite advertising a 1-year warranty, the vendor refused to honor even a full year of coverage or offer any repair options—even though I got roughly only 4 months of actual total use out of the equipment. When relying on a device twice a day for health support, dealing with hardware breakdown, broken warranty promises, and no path for repair carries a high price tag—not just in terms of money, but also in precious time and health. If you are researching high-cost red light therapy or PBM tools for trauma recovery, please be aware of these hardware risks and customer support failures before purchasing.

The impact of trauma in my life is very big, I still don't have enough financial resources to visit a psychologist, so I have to try to learn how to solve my problems on my own.

I can't protect myself when needed. Just during those stressful moments by body starts shaking and my hands sweating, I cant think clear and around people I am completely different person than I actually am irl. Its all trauma and I feel hopeless because its been years I am trying to beat it.

I want to finally defend myself and stand up for myself without shaking. Life is getting harder day by day and I feel like I am just created wrong.

I have physically and virtually removed my abusers from my life, they keep reaching to people I might know to find me back. However I have recently cut off 2 meaningful connnections/ friends because I’m afraid they might be connected back to them. I feel safe and unsafe whenever I am outside. Being outside helps me realize the world isn’t trying to attack me and that actually most or no one has ever brought as much trauma as they did. I’m just worried I’ll keep cutting off meaningful connections, and that I’ll always keep scanning for threats once I’m attached to someone. Being all on myself made me realize that the world isn’t trying to come after my back all the time but I crave connection as well.. I’m just scared I’m running out of people when I make a meaningful connection to someone and have to cut them off

It's been going on for months now. No matter how early i get to bed, i can't leave until the morning's almost over. Even if i have morning classes. When i wake up, it feels like there's this weight in my chest and i just want to keep sleeping forever. I'm in my last semester of college and i haven't studied or done any assignments in ages. I'm panicking at the amount of stuff i have to do but i can never actually do anything.

I have anxiety & ptsd. I spent a brief (6 months?) time semi homeless while I hid from someone abusive and violent. I had some money but not much, and a car. At times I got condiments from fast food places and that was part of my food. At times I ate plants in a forest. I did also have some regular food, but it was sporadic how much. I don't consider this a very long time to be semi-homeless (half living in car, motels or camping), but it was a very intense time.

I think this has played a role in my overspending on food, especially convenience or processed food, when anxiety and stress hits in my current life. Even though those situations are in the past. I feel extra insecure at times of higher stress and want more comfort food & feel like I don't care how much it costs. It feels like an emergency.

When I have no outside stressors, I do well with eating healthy food. I also do quite well sticking to a budget.

I think when stress hits I get a fear about will there be enough food and what if I run out, even if the stressor is nothing to do with that. Paradoxically, this causes me to overspend because I comfort purchase.

What I've tried: Budgeting apps - do help unless I am hit from all side with stress. I used to use Chronometer which tracks food & nutrition and it actually did help me. But have not used it for quite a while. (So many things like this that have helped and then I get off track & just forget them) I half tried meditation, walking, affirmations which surprisingly did help a bit & journaling but am not consistent. I do see a therapist but so far this has not been a focus.

What I'm wondering about: Exercise, trying to join more social things to have some constant source of more reliable calm experiences, trying a different way of budgeting. I have no idea. I've watched people online food prep but I don't know if i could stick with it.

In short:
* We can not leave for various reasons
* One of those being we rely on her and are not in a position to just "figure it out"
* She is gaslihgting my brother the way she used to me and since she started doing that, she has treated me VERY odd (ie overtly ignoring me but also buying me random treats??)
* She is telling him things like "we're the only ones that love you" and calling him crazy and telling him that I don't want to be around him. She also stopped us from talking privately freshly after she gaslit him for like an hour
* I want to at least support him since I know how rough it is, plus when she treated me that way he was always there for me, but do not know what to do

How can I help?? If I confront her or she finds out I'm trying to help, she can and WILL use that as justification to hurt ALL of us, from emotionally to medically. It will NOT go well. It has to be covert enough to have a chance of avoiding her attention.

Anyone know how I can help him without hurting everyone???

Hey everyone!

I’ve been trying to find a good YouTube lecture or educational video that goes in depth about complex PTSD (C-PTSD), particularly how prolonged childhood trauma affects brain development, the nervous system, and a person’s ability to regulate emotions and change certain behavioral patterns. I’m hoping to find something that could help both me and my partner better understand these effects.

My partner and I have been together for over five years and have known each other for more than a decade. He’s been a close part of my life throughout much of my trauma history and has witnessed firsthand many of the ways it’s affected me. I have an extensive history of abuse and have struggled with a number of mental health issues as a result. I also have a really difficult time expressing my experiences and explaining why I struggle with certain things, largely because of fear. Sometimes I forget that what feels normal to me isn’t necessarily something other people can relate to.

A few months ago, my partner told me about a conversation he’d had with an AI model while trying to understand some of my behaviors and why, despite years of effort and promises to change, certain patterns have continued. He mentioned that something the AI explained about the effects of early childhood trauma on the brain finally made things click for him. I can’t remember his exact wording, but the general idea was that my brain developed differently as a result of what I experienced, and that some of the things I struggle with aren’t simply a matter of not trying hard enough or choosing not to change. There are things I haven’t yet learned how to manage, even when I genuinely want to.

That comment really floored me. I think I’d always assumed that, given how long we’ve known each other and how much of my history he’s witnessed, he understood the extent to which my experiences have shaped me. I knew that understanding it intellectually and truly grasping what it means in practice aren’t necessarily the same thing, but I hadn’t realized how much of that gap might still exist. I’ve tried to explain my experiences in my own words and have even shared *The Body Keeps the Score* with him, but I struggle to articulate a lot of this myself.

I’m not saying that trauma means I’m incapable of change or that I’m not responsible for working on myself. It’s more that I wish I could better explain why some things that seem straightforward to other people can feel so difficult for me, even when I’m trying. I’d love to find something that explains the neuroscience and psychology behind C-PTSD in a way that’s thorough, accessible, and helpful for someone who hasn’t experienced it firsthand.
Does anyone have recommendations for YouTube lectures, documentaries, or other educational resources that explain how complex trauma affects brain development, emotional regulation, behavior, and relationships? I’d especially appreciate something in-depth and evidence-based, rather than a short introductory video.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any of your advice.