Hey I really really need help. It’s my first year at McGill, and I’m struggling super badly. I’m taking Canadian lit, philosophy 306, French beginners, English departmental survey, and sociology family and Modern society. I’ve made horrible careless mistakes since I’ve been here. For two readings for English, I didn’t fully read syllabus and its notes on how to differ between Norton anthologies and I read from the wrong book for 2 days and had to catch up 15hrs. I misread papers in philosophy and would read wrong article and need to catch up. But I always did, until thanksgiving break. I was working on my philosophy paper, and after I’d write some, I’d ask AI to verify if I was following instructions and if my argument had weaknsss. I like to do my work myself, I think it’s important, but I went down on spiral of ai as it found every defect because of course it would, philosophy can always be argued against. This took up all my reading week. Then I had 3 midterms, so I missed two readings from philosophy and English. I think I did fine on sociology and Canadian lit. I studied several hours—hell, more, for English and stayed up till 2-3am multiple times. Exam comes, I’m doing okay. Then I misread short essay. It says short essay and in brackets one page paragraph. Half exam is questions, half essay. Halfway through essay, I realize my mistake and quickly scramble a short paragraph to condense my prompt. I explain to my professor and she tells me it’s fine I write more, “you didn’t die”. My errors have led me to severe mental breakdowns, hyperventilating, shaking-ish, sick to eat, calling parents crying. I even found out my brain was on autopilot for two months and I’d been using highschool id instead of McGill! What the fuck! Luckily the problem was quickly solved.
I believe im at a b in sociology and a b- in French, but i have a test im unprepared for Monday .i dont know if i should drop out of French or English. I am behind a week in English and philosophy readings because of midterms. Im worried I’ll fail out of school. I also feel like im dying sometimes. I need help. I dont know what to do. I feel like im dying because of school and it sucks because McGill has so many cool people and nice environment, and this all could’ve been fine if I’d never made stupid errors and didn’t spiral over break and divided my time and didn’t use ai. Please help me. I’m really scared about myself. I don’t want to drop a course, I want to graduate on time, but I feel like I might have to. I’m getting depressed again and visited wellness.
