r/Socionics • u/fairygodfreak • 1h ago
Typing SOCIONICS NERDS ASSEMBLE. ⚠️🗣️🚨
urgent. ⚠️
i cannot fcking type my best friend of 12 years.
it's very important you consider every single word i say. i'm gonna offer a lot of detail. if you give me a worthy response that i find genuinely insightful, i swear on my life i'll paypal you $10.
my best guess is ILI. walk with me.
socially, she has a pretty steady baseline energy. much prefers to not hangout in big groups. not in a socially anxious way, but just can't be bothered, too much hassle, too much movement, and she's pretty much entirely uninterested. but, she's extremely likeable. she's so weird that i always wonder if she is received so well because she is good looking. i have to constantly fight people off my best friend. legit everyone loves her when they meet her. she's funny and deadpan, but just has a very steady baseline, no theatrics. has lots of meme and troll in her. very controversial sense of humour. she looks very animated sometimes when she talks, she can be very expressive verbally in small spurts. loves a good fleshed out, beat-the-dead-horse, psychoanalyzing, enriching conversation one on one. but mostly, socializing in groups is a hassle for her. i'd say whether or not she is "drained" after spending a long time w people can fluctuate. more often than not, she feels beat. get her drunk as fk, and she's READY TO GO ANYWHERE! TROLL THE WHOLE NIGHT LONG! though, getting her to attend a place where there's drinking and people..... well.... like i said... it's a hassle. she will turn down a group hangout nine times out of ten. when she attends that one time, it's because you had to beg for a week or even month beforehand. she goes out drinking maybe 2-3 times a year, no exaggeration. it's genuinely a rare and special occasion when she comes out. she doesn't care for most people, she describes it as "they're just not her type of people." she hates to fake laugh. sometimes, when i'm texting her, i realize i've said too much, put too much expectation on her plate, proposed too grand of an event or hangout, and i instantly know the moment i've scared her back into her shell LMAO. the read receipts stop coming. and i gotta coax her back out, someway or another.
this girl is extremely perceptive when it comes to patterns and how things can/will develop. she's genuinely like an all-seeing eye. it's like when you're talking to her, telling her about a situation, her eyes slightly narrow in thought, she's nodding her head, she's asking clarifying questions for more context, and piece by piece, she is building this crazy accurate landscape painting in her head of what's "really" going on. and she will somehow with almost 100% accuracy always predict the outcome of something. i hate it sometimes LOL. like, every detail matters to her. she's extremely solution oriented. one thing about her: she's gonna solve your fcking problem. she can forecast anything, it's like she runs a simulation of probabilities and outcomes in her head, and so quickly too. these conclusions come to her at lightspeed, like it took no effort to diagnose your problem. it's almost prophetic. it makes her a very reliable person to ask for advice, or clarity. you cannot vent to her without her planting ways to solve your problem, or ways you can reframe or look at something differently to achieve your desired result. this can be abrasive, because she's not one to soothe or coddle: she will give you her opinion whether you ask her for it or not, or whether or not you would like to hear it. it's not always the most comforting. she is a self proclaimed realist. she uses what has happened previously and what is happening now as her data, and she plugs it all into the program in her brain, and she spits out a result. don't get me wrong, she can absolutely see nuance and other possibilities, but a lot of her forecasts are rooted in what she believes to be "objective reality". she's a big fan of playing the cards you're dealt.
now that i'm thinking about it, everybody that ever meets her becomes obsessed with her in some capacity. she doesn't speak to many people on a regular basis, she has her selected group of miscellaneous people from different parts of her life. ask any one of them: they'll say she's their soulmate (which pisses me off because i'm possessive and i know it). things i've heard people say about her (including myself): "she's one of a kind," "the most interesting person [they've] ever met," "sure of herself," "she's so cool i wanna be her when i grow up," "she's so amazing," "best manager ever," the list genuinely goes on. her most prominent quality is her authenticity, she genuinely DGAF what anybody thinks. she can be vain, but this oscillates between "i'm the best" to "i'm a gay loser." most people kind of find themselves in this weird cat and mouse limbo with her; they kinda just orbit her space, admiring from afar, dreaming of a deeper friendship with her that she just likely won't permit, but it's still nice to know her. she's like a cat, her affection is not for everyone, so when she chooses you, it means more.
god at this point i'm sounding like i'm glazing, but this girl is so well-rounded that she considers everything. it's like all factors of all situations (other people's feelings, logical reasoning, her own feelings, social atmosphere, what is likely to produce the best outcome, etc etc) are just all the pieces of her program, and they all amalgamate into one overarching string of code. it's all weighing information against each other. it fluctuates and is versatile. there is no one correct way to approach anything universally, because everything is so different and calls for a different way of thinking. i'd say, she's big on impersonal reasoning. she is a truth dealer (ask her philosophically, though, and she will say: "the truth is that there is no truth"). she can be skilled with delivery, however. she can, for the most part, understand how hard she should or should not press when it comes to truth dealing. her audience does matter, especially if it is an acquaintance. but even when she is blunt or straightforward with an acquaintance, they somehow know it doesn't come from a bad place, because she is a formidable intellectual to most. like, for example, my other friend told her one time: "you always look like your gears are turning, you're always assessing and judging and reading me, and somehow i don't feel offended, i just want to know what you think of me and what you see." massively paraphrased of course.
for somebody she knows well, and is comfortable around: look TF out. she will not hesitate to say exactly what she means, exactly what she deems to be the truth, and she will only follow it with a, "sorry, it's just the truth" if she sees it's not taken well. her personal convictions are based around what she believes to be the truth, or UNJUST. this girl loathes injustice of any kind. it can give her a pessimistic view of society and community.
this girl influences a room without trying. it makes me so confused about her Fe. it might be the point of most tension for my ILI diagnosis of her. so bear with me, this portion is lengthy. while it's extremely obvious she's not a Fe base or even Fe creative, she can move people deeply with hardly any effort at all. whether or not it's intentional is hard to place. she is a rather deep soul. she can connect with people of her choice because she is extremely intelligent and sees every human being uniquely. she judges the behaviour of others harshly, while simultaneously considering why someone might act that way. but, tread lightly, because the script can flip pretty abruptly: understanding someone's background does not EVER excuse someone's behaviour for her. she's a tough critic. one mishap from somebody and she is GOOD OFF THEM FOREVER. never met a grudge holder like her in all my twenty six years. one thing about her... i've seen her give maybe 1 or 2 second chances in all my years knowing her. she is NOT gonna foster a relationship with somebody she finds distasteful, immature, outrageous, or even just annoying. she can manage cordiality... but you WILL feel the distance she puts between you. you're banned to "arms length" forever. she can at times be quite naturally expressive. she truly can animate and be silly and loving at any moment, but most often she reserves that for those she feels comfortable with. around strangers, you will totally see her bottle right up. she's not even uncomfortable, really, it's just like suddenly the stage is not set just right for her to blossom at full capacity. she's still funny and rather nonchalant - seems at ease - but it's not the same as a 1-on-1 with her. she doesn't let just anybody know everything about her. she detests social media. she has little to no social media presence, she doesn't think everybody needs a glimpse into her life, or to "sell" herself, or a desired image of herself. so, while she can be relatively open and easy to talk to and bond surface-level with, she generally is deeply private. there's kinda no such thing as "TMI" with her. how can i explain someone as judgmental yet so NONjudgmental? you immediately, upon meeting her, feel like there's nothing you can't tell her, because she's extremely candid and carefree with personal and embarrassing details. but there are a trillion more things extremely mysterious about her, and she certainly keeps 75% of herself close to her chest, and nobody is really aware of that fact. she shares selectively, but even That seems so transparent and like So much. most would probably describe her as an "open book", perhaps even she herself would say that, but in all reality, theres deep parts that she wouldn't really care to share with the general public. so it is hard to pinpoint whether she's truly EXPRESSIVE or more restrained. it's definitely selective.
when somebody she cares about becomes visibly emotional, she SPRINGS into action. she is LOYAL and protective of those she deems close. she does want to come across as someone who cares deeply. however, she has explicitly told me that her attentiveness is selfish, because she gets satisfaction from remedying someone's troubles. she will offer the most attentive listening ear, REALLY listen to you, but she is really just hungry to hear your perspective and try to fix it. or to find out what terrible person potentially hurt you so that she can viciously hate them for the rest of her life, and also try to convince you to hate them too, so that you're less susceptible to their maliciousness going forward. you would never get the impression that she's TRULY irritated and uncomfortable with your emotional display. she'd never do that to somebody while they're vulnerable. but, this is all assuming she cares about you. if she doesn't care about you, maybe you wouldn't get the same treatment. if she offers you real advice, and you don't take it, and remain stagnant and miserable, she really doesn't like that. when people don't try to fix their problems, she kinda loses respect for them. she hates to see wasted potential, for sure, but mostly she can too easily deem somebody an immoveable object, a lost cause, and think less of them and their inability to take action. she understands change is uncomfortable, but can't stand when people refuse to be uncomfortable. something something neitzsche something something sartre or whatever she's always on about. (understatement of the century...)
she is conflict savvy. in the face of monkey-like rage: she seriously will not entertain it. she might even make fun of you. dare i say she may even start trolling you, if time permits. like, she doesn't do the whole brawl and scream and fight thing. she is not really scared of anybody. she almost holds an air of like... "i'm seriously not stooping to this level, get your shit together" type thing. an emotional display such as "raging" or getting "belligerent" is enough for her to scrap you forever. she thinks it's cringe. say goodbye, because she won't subject herself to that behaviour. she can be rather blunt and assertive at times, holding firm boundaries, but mostly it's hard to find yourself in a situation where you're SERIOUSLY butting heads with her. she genuinely just doesn't have an aura about her that is TRULY combative... she can talk her way in or out of anything. she is a reasoner and defuser. there isn't something that she can't explain or clarify away. she's often so easygoing that nothing really chafes her to the point of a fight. its obvious she tries to live as stress free of a life as possible. if someone challenges her authority, competence, opinions or personal boundaries, she stands quite firm. she honestly attributes a lot of disrespect and other belligerence to the incompetence of others. kinda like, "it's not my fault you are like this. you are lowkey just of a lower consciousness than me." she can, in the face of disrespect or lying or laziness or any other sort of challenge another human being may impose on her, be like: "it seems you have bigger problems that have nothing to do with me. best of luck." she can certainly impose her will, when need be, but she's never a stone-cold iron-fist imposition on another person, but rather someone who articulates, convinces, suggests, or otherwise coerces. she's actually incredible at persuasion, and it's never nefarious or intentionally manipulative, but as i stated before, she's a truth dealer and problem solver. she's FARRRR more likely to ignore and ghost you forever than pursue a conflict with you. like, if you haven't earned a spot at the Forever Table, and you do something she doesn't like... you've signed your own death certificate. you will likely not hear from her again. she is sharp tongued when need be. she is a masterful insulter, should the situation require it. i've seen things push this girl into a blackout rage on a couple occasions. but she's usually taking the high road, and bitching after the fact to myself or someone else. too much of a hassle.
i wouldn't say this girl is particularly organized, and i wouldn't say she has flawless task completion. don't ask her to adhere to a routine she doesn't like, or that she finds to be a hassle. she keeps it pretty simple, and doesn't like when her simplicity is interrupted. honestly, don't ask her to arrange or plan anything. planning trips with her? no... talk to her girlfriend. specific times, dates, plans, all go thru the wifey. literally, if you try to make big weekend plans with her a few months in advance, her eyes will glaze over as you speak, and she will sigh, and say, "text my wife." it's kinda a running joke. she will show up, but she doesn't wanna plan it. she doesn't want to worry what to pack. tell her what money is to be sent, what preparations there are to be made, and she will abide, but don't make her plan it. lol. i definitely wouldn't call her spontaneous as an absolute; there's a method to her madness.
she can be forgetful of the smallest things, but will simultaneously memorize, with inhuman precision, every last detail of a book she read, or a philosophy she has learned, etc etc. don't try to tell her how something went down a few days ago: she will come at you with mental receipts fashioned into a detailed play by play of how things REALLY panned out. and she's right every time.
i'd say she's really aware of her own physical comfort a lot of the time, like tags irritating her in her clothing, being too hot or too cold, she HATESSSSSSS being sick. like, omg, this girl can't do anything when she's sick. can't eat, can't sleep, can't do anything. she's rendered useless. but, SHE WILL BE AT WORK, YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT. THIS GIRL COULD GET BOTH HER LEGS CHOPPED OFF, STARVE FOR THREE DAYS, AND STILL FIND A WAY TO WORK HER SHIFT. even so, she is very vocal about physical discomfort. physical appearance as well, though, this too oscillates between "oh my god i look ugly and greasy my life is about to explode" and "i do not care at all what i look like even 1%." she can be quite oblivious if she feels safe, is focused, and lets her alertness take a backseat. in public, she can be more perceptive. but lowkey... this girl can be so clumsy. she either has the most sharp spatial awareness (her hand-eye coordination is lowkey off the charts) or be constantly back to back hitting her limbs off of things and tweaking balls when it hurts lol.
oh, and, she don't really do physical activity of any sort. don't ask her to go for a walk, she will laugh. offer to rewatch attack on titan with her for the seventh time, though, and she's at your doorstep before you can finish giving her the invite.
final statement: state your hypothesis and explain your reasoning. i want FULL DIAGNOSTIC ESSAY with CITATIONS in MLA FORMAT. thank you. there is $10 on the table.