I'm a 22M and my partner 22F. Today she asked me what i thought about going to a swinger club. We've been 5 years together and we are both bisexual.

We tried a polycouple situation for about a year 2 years ago but it didn't worked well with the third person. We've tried different experiences since then... last year we had sex with another couple, friends of ours.

My partner has more sexual experience than me since she started her sexual life first. I've only been with two woman, her and our friend and it only happened once.

After a few experiences we decides we were full into monogamy. But it seems like both of us think about other people too. We love each other and we communicate really well... we both agree we don't want to have a sexual life apart from each other, so...

Should we give a swinger club a try? I'm kinda worried we will be youngest there or that the place could be creepy/dangerous, it shouldn't be, but i can't be sure, right?

If yes, why? If no, we should try something different instead or what do you think?

F18. I have started my sexual life quite early, but never noticed this problem before. Me and my boyfriend are together for more than 6 months now and I noticed that during sex I may leak urine and not even notice it. This usually happens 30-40 mins after we start and may happen several times. The amounts are not large, but still noticable. I have tried not to drink any water before sex and go to toilet in advance, but this doesn’t always help. I have also been doing kegels for couple of months, but also no results. Are there any other techniques to prevent this thing from happenin?

Wassup people

Hey peeps of reddit , just had a quick question me 26M just wanted to know on average what's the common/regular amount of time to go down on someone? Like the least amount where its not too little but not too much if that makes sense? Thank you.

Been married over 10 years to a good man. We have kids and a great life and relationship. But our sex life sucks, at least to me. He is having problems getting or keeping erections and I’m very often not getting satisfied and sex just feels like we are checking a box. It’s making me not even want to try because I just get disappointed. There is no passion anymore. Toys just aren’t the same. I crave and long for that intimate connection and I don’t know what to do about it. Has anyone been through something similar? He got on testosterone and that helped a bit but he’s relying on gas station pills for us to have a good night in bed. I’ve offered healthy solutions to try like exercise or cutting out nicotine and such and he basically refuses to try to make any changes that may help. I feel like a horrible person for being so unhappy for something that’s not his fault but I don’t know what to do about it…

Me and my gf have been looking for somebody to watch us have sex. Male or female but we don’t know how to make it happen or how to ask someone to watch us .How can we make it happen ? We don’t have any swinger clubs or sex club near where we live and the most we have done close to it is have sex and be naked with our hotel curtains open on the highest floor with other taller buildings around us

This feels like the dumbest fucking post but... here goes.

I have this lifelong feeling of shame and self-loathing associated with everything to do with my body and my sexuality. I really think it would help to have a safe space to explore my sexuality and that would help me get over a lot of shit but I have no idea how to do that. Going to try and lay out all the relevant information in a cohesive structure.

• Relevant info: 20s, FTM, virgin. No experience of SA or CSA.
• I had a "boyfriend" in middle school, had my first kiss with a different boy in high school, had my first date with some girl on a dating app like a few years ago. That was my only partner, my only kiss, my only date. They weren't even all with the same person. Literally all the dating experience I have.
• I haven't had surgery or HRT at all. I don't really have top dysphoria but I do have hella bottom dysphoria - I am hardcore anti-penetration, fingers, tampons, etc literally anything in there feels like torture. I probably have vaginismus or something idk. For years I had such sensory issues with using the bathroom and showering because it made me feel so fucking disgusting, I have a history of wiping until I bleed because the vagina itself just feels so gross like it'll never get clean. Yes I'm in therapy lmao.
• So all that being said, I've been masturbating with my clit and hands alone since I was 12, but I've never had an orgasm. At this point I've sort of resigned myself to maybe just not being someone who has orgasms, I know people can still enjoy sex without orgasms and I'm trying to be okay with that. But that also might be catastrophizing because like, I've also never had sex or used sex toys so maybe I just need more than my hands, especially since like I said, no penetration.
• Also, I'm frankly a little grossed out by my own body, not just in a trans way. To be blunt I am not attractive as a man or a woman. I have accepted this as a morally neutral fact about me and MOST OF THE TIME I don't have negative feelings about it. Except when it comes to this, like... how do I put this... trying to feel like a sexual person, I guess? And on top of that, I'm pretty severely overweight and just can't lose the weight no matter what I do. I don't think it's just that because I do and have found other overweight people attractive, I guess it's just the combination of having an unattractive body + unattractive face that makes me feel uniquely un-sexual.

I really do feel like I'm just stunted in this area of my life and if I had the space and freedom to explore my sexuality and develop more comfortability with my body in a sexual context, it would do a hell of a lot for me in other areas of my life, too. Problem is, I live with my very close-knit family who is extremely paranoid about me in particular because I have an extensive history of mental illness and suicidality.

Example. I found a sex club in my area that seems really great. Lots of awesome reviews, the website seems super inclusive and welcoming, they make a point of saying that you don't even have to have sex if you go there, you can go just to learn basically. But if I wanted to go some place by myself at like 10pm-1am (bc that's when it's open) my family would be like. Uh. That's super suspicious. Why does it have to be so late & why do you have to go alone. Surely that's not a red flag or anything to be worried about...

And like, what am I gonna do? Tell them I'm going to a sex club? LMAO. No.

For similar reasons I don't really know how to purchase sex toys like a vibrator or whatever. I know you can order them online & I know there are companies that package them discreetly but there would be innocent, off-handed questions about "oh what's that" and I would have to answer those questions. And I'm not sure what answer I could give to make it not seem weird that I have to bring the package upstairs to my bedroom in order to open it and no one will be allowed to know what it is after.

I can't even buy porn games because I'm in a Steam Family account and a shared EA account and also, other people use my laptop sometimes and idk how to make sure no one sees what games I have downloaded on here. Like I don't think anyone would go snooping but how do I make sure they don't see it? I can't even download a freaking NSFW Sims 4 mod because my laptop is home to the family Sims file where each of us has a household that we play in the same town together. Like they will for sure see any mods downloaded here.

So in conclusion, what I'm asking for is any ideas, any at all, on how to engage with my sexuality on ANY level without needing to announce to my siblings that I'm going off to have sex with strangers or masturbate. God that sounds so fucking uncomfortable. If you have ideas about workarounds for any of the above issues, I would also appreciate that!

Thanks for reading all that if you made it all the way here lmao. Also I'm really sorry if this is the wrong place for this post!! It was a toss-up between this and the advice subreddit, but this feels waaay too NSFW/TMI for that place.

Hey! So we're both on antidepressants and we're both new to sex (we are each other's firsts) which could be a contributing factor. We're both very into each other however and in love.

I'll get into a lot of detail below, just so I can show what advice we've used and how we're doing things right now.

We still had a lot of fun, from what I could tell. There was lots of communication to do what felt best, questions like "higher or lower?" "Up and down or circles?" "Harder or lighter?" Things like that to make things feel as good as they could. He was very loud. It did sound and look genuine since it was accompanied by body reactions, like there was also times he couldn't stop spasming/shaking and his cock would twitch.

He is submissive. I tied him up to his request, used a vibrator at some points, dirty talked the way he likes it, we took turns topping, etc. Reverse cowgirl, cowgirl, missionary, doggystyle, but still nada. I scratched and spanked him (he likes a little pain) and though it made him more verbal, still nada. We were at it for hours.

He said he had an amazing time, it was very hot, it was great, etc. But I'm just a little insecure considering I didn't get him to cum.

He likes the area behind his balls massaged and sometimes likes his balls squeezed as I ride him. We haven't tried prostate play, which I heard can help men who have trouble releasing. He is interested in trying this someday when he's ready, but until then, is there anything else I could try?

When I was riding him, I made sure to ask which methods of moving felt best for him and moved that way until I got too tired. He had his eyes closed and couldn't be quiet, but a part of me wonders if I wasn't riding him right. I usually rolled my hips in different ways, it was more risky to go in and out too much because he kept slipping out. Sometimes I'd lean down and kiss him or suck his neck or nipples. He said it felt amazing and couldn't keep quiet

When he was on top with missionary we tried a lot of different thrusting methods. Sometimes he'd go in all the way and go out all the way(not as much trouble slipping out in this position), rotate his hips in small movements, try different angles etc. He said that he was close for a long while, but he couldn't quite get there. Dirty talking the way he likes helped a little.

We also put pillows underneath our butts to help the angle.

We had plenty of lube, but we didn't use anything like viagra. I was also able to get him hard quickly every time he got soft. We took turns between heating lube and oil.

He does say he likes me being spontaneous and surprising him. Maybe I'm not creative enough and I can't think of more ways to be spontaneous. Is there any more ways I could surprise him? I'll do things like kiss, scratch, target his sensitive spots, bite, VERY lightly choke (ask him the right pressure), spank, etc.

Tools I have

Belts, rope, heating lube, coconut oil, avocado oil, dildos(to get him hard after he got soft, I had him use one on me), rose toy(he LOVES the rose toy used on his tip and behind his balls), electric toothbrush, butt plug. He likes bdsm

In case this helps, his most sensitive spots, from what I've noticed: balls, cock tip, behind the balls, ass(playing around the rim, not inside), neck, nipple, tongue

I give him permission to feel me however he likes while we have sex. Sometimes I put his hand on my chest or ass to encourage him.

Also we don't use a condom. We don't need to, since we're both heavy introverts who don't get around and there's 10000% no risk of pregnancy. I have no doubts we're the only ones we're fucking, he's a shy person and it takes a lot getting him out of his shell. Same for me.

To keep it short and simple last night me and my girlfriend were having sex and she told me she was coming and then i felt a squeeze down there. This was my first time experiencing that and ive only been with 1 other girl never had that happen. Is that the feeling of making your girlfriend come?😂😂

I have sensitive skin and have been looking for condoms that aren’t just the standard size and have no lubricant is there any recommendations? I feel like it has been the lubricant on the condoms I have been using that irritate me so I want to try some without lubricant

Women. When doing fore play, how long does it take your partner to make you climax on average?

to keep it short and sweet, 2 years ago me and my current boyfriend (both 23FM) were having sex, and i was using a standard metal buttplug, one of the gem heart ones. we did doggy, missionary, standing, all that and everything was fine. when i was riding him, i felt like my plug was slipping out and i couldn’t feel it, so i reached behind me, felt the gem of the buttplug, and it felt like it wasn’t in far enough. so in the heat of the moment, i pushed it further in and then boom. couldn’t feel it anymore. it was gone but it didn’t come out, it went all the way in.

i immediately stopped us having sex, went into the bathroom, and reached wrist deep into my ass digging for the damn plug. my boyfriend offered to help get it out, but we had just freshly started dating and having sex so i would’ve rather killed myself. but, i got it out thank god, but i haven’t used one since, because now i have a fear that my ass will eat it again, even though the only reason that happened, was because i pushed it in. anyways, any advice on easing back into using buttplugs and getting over this trauma? thanks!!

I really try and keep our sex life extra spicy and to do things that he didn’t even know he’d like or wouldn’t think of himself in the moment.

I had an idea dawn on me the other day for a spicy video. We do send eachother pics and videos and keep them locked in our hidden folders on our phones for each others alone time, or when we’re trying to turn each other on.

We’ve each made lists for eachother of specific content we’d like from the other. A few of which I haven’t gotten to yet.

I’m really just kinda curious if the idea I thought of separate from his list is actually hot, or if it’s not as hot as I think it would be.

I want to make him a video of me giving a propped up dildo a handjob combined with a boob job and “talk him through it”.

Thoughts? Guys, if your partner did this, would it be hot? Or am I just thinking it would be way hotter than it actually would be? Gals, if you’ve done this what has your partners reaction been?

Honesty needed, and thanks in advance.

Hello, so basically, my boyfriend and I just started becoming more intimate with one another. we are each others firsts so we're learning together. The issue is, he is selfless, which is nice. He tries hard to get me to orgasm, so no issues there.

the issue comes with the fact that he goes soft easy. Usually when hes doing something to me, he's soft, which I heard is normal. When I start touching him and giving him a handjob, he's hard but i havent been able to make him cum because it takes too long??? idk if im doing it wrong or what.

the main thing that got to me was I was giving him head for the first time, and for no reason, halfway through, he went soft. I was confused and he seemed to be as well, and he ended up just jerking himself off till he came. Is he not attracted to me?? Is it something with me because obviously he can cum, he did but when he did it himself. Idk if i was doing it wrong id never done it before, but even when we tried having sex for the first time, he went soft after putting the condom on and trying to enter. I don't understand, is it me or him????? does this mean its a sign he isnt into me or something? pleaase help and give tips if possible.

edit to add as well: hes almost always hard around me normally. Like if we're cuddling or anything or even just a small kiss, hes hard... its literally just when we do stuff

Hello im a 23M and im barely sensitive, maybe it's just my skin because im also not ticklish, im happy with my 27F the only good side i can go for long without cumming or recover under 1 minute for second round that never finish or i don't even cumbut im afraid with time i will go colder, i want sex to be more pleasured and happy for me too

My gf and I have been together for a year and a half and I honestly downloaded Reddit just to hopefully get some advice. My gf can only make herself cum one specific way and she gets really embarrassed about it. She has to like lie on her stomach and hold a blanket or pillow between her legs and then humps it and has these crazy orgasms that last like 30-45 seconds each. She describes the feeling as being very far back, like not quite her anus but a little before there?? She says sex still feels good for her but she’s never been able to recreate that specific orgasm with any partner before. Any ideas on things we could try to replicate that same feeling?

So more and more I see different things coming out about different porn companies or performers being absolutely horrible. I typically only support individual/private creators which makes it easy but every now and then there is something that is really hot in the BDSM world, but I have no clue how to look things up. Where do people get their information that so-and-so is really good backstage or this guy was really abusive? I would love a better way to "vet" when I am branching out of my normal sites/subscription list

I (19F) love sex with my boyfriend (21M) but lately it got boring for me. It’s so predictable, the same positions (we do few different in one set so it’s not about that) I always know when, like I’m prepared. I want to suggest something new but I don’t even know what. Hes my first, I don’t like watching porn so can’t take anything from there. Any suggestions? I need something new and thrilling. I’m open to ANYTHING. Even if it’s dark. Also tips on dirty talk would be appreciated.

We are both 25 and been together for quite some years. Our sex has been amazing and hands down one of the best. Always hard f and long rounds. We usually do 2-4 rounds, twice or thrice a week and I usually make her orgasms 2-5x during foreplay and sex.

She was always honest that her first boyfriend made her squirt twice in their relationship. Then the following exes wasn’t able to.

I am the 4th. I can confidently say all my partners had orgasms but one thing I have never done yet in my life is to make a woman squirt.

After 7 yrs of her last squirting moment. She squirted using a vibrator tonight while I was watching her do it. Now I feel bad that no matter how hard I study/learn it. I just cant but I know she can squirt.

Am I just not on the level of her first boyfriend or am I doing something wrong?

I noticed this add while scanning Reddit a few days ago. Did a little research and it seems like it may be somewhat legitimate. I was curious if anybody has tried it?

F23, I'm a sex repulsed asexual who can't even vaginally orgasm (which I heard is common), I also have vaginismus which is probably where the repulsion comes from… so, the average sex would just be painful and unsatisfying.

I have no desire to **need** to enjoy it, but I want my partner to enjoy it. No, I'm not being forced/begged by him, I myself have interest in what he’s interested in. But, I don't want the focus to be on me, because we would just be wasting both of our time.

What could I do to turn the focus mostly on him? And in a way where I don't have to fake an orgasm or pretend I'm enjoying something?

Also, any tips for beginner women would be super welcome. I'm not a virgin, but I'm not “good” at it either because I only had sex one time and I did NOT do well…

Hey guys, so I matched with this girl on a dating platform and we hooked up on our first date. We had a good foreplay for around 15-20 minutes.

But when penetration took place I couldn’t cum, I didn’t even feel the excitement of it. I don’t know about her, how she felt.

We tried multiple positions, but I just couldn’t cum, also I didn’t feel much pleasure. I got a solid erection tho

The same happened for the second time we had sex.

Is this because maybe we are not yet pretty much connected yet? Or is this a common problem when you have sex after a good amount of break?

Need some genuine advise so that I don’t fail for the third time straight

So I've discovered a whole new type of sexual kink, post-cum torture, where you keep going after the male ejaculates (usually the women would be holding him down and fucking him, rather than the male doing it himself)

Obviously this feels unpleasant for the man, certainly in the first few seconds after ejaculating, so I'm curious to find out what makes post-cum torture so desirable and pleasurable for some people?

If you can put it into words, could you describe the feeling it gives you, and explain how to get there?

I mean, not that it really affects me directly at the moment. I'm eighteen and I still haven't had a girlfriend or any sort of sexual activity for someone. I'd still love to know more, so I can understand it better, especially when viewing videos of it. 🙂