r/POTS • u/CHKG1324 • 12h ago
Vent/Rant I’m so angry and I don’t know how to deal with it
I used to be in the gym 6 times a week lifting heavy weights. I used to swim 10km a week. I used to run with my dog or take him on 5km walks every day. I used to go out and socialise multiple times a week. I used to be able to eat anything I wanted. I used to be able to play social sport. I used to be able to make it through my full time job and pick up extra shifts at my casual job for extra money. I love free diving and surfing.
I can’t fkn do anything now.
I can’t make it through a day of work. I can’t play social sport. I can’t eat fkn anything. I can’t walk my dog everyday. I can’t swim anymore. I can’t socialise anymore because I have to focus my energy on work so I can pay my bills. I can’t free dive, I can’t surf.
I’m so angry. POTS has taken so much from me. My brain doesn’t even work anymore. I’m not able to do any of the things that I thought made me, me.
Im unhappy and struggling to find joy in what I can do. I’ve always been someone with big aspirations of what I could do with my life and I’m struggling to accept that I’ll never be that person again.
How are yall coping with this???
I’m so angry. I’ve had POTS for 12 months, following sepsis. I’m angry at the healthcare system. My stay in hospital when I had sepsis was awful. The workers were horrible to me, commenting how they hated people in my line of work. Dismissing my symptoms, didn’t even feed me for a week - had to uber eats to the hospital. People with sepsis still need calories so they don’t die?????
They sent me away with no answers, they refused to give my GP my discharge papers. I’m angry at the first GP I went to who said I have anxiety, the second one who told me I need to stop taking b12 supplements because that’s causing my issues. I’m angry at the hospital staff who dismissed my heart issues, who told me to take off my denim outfit I presented in because I was having scans but then ripped my hospital gown off my body and accused me of being a slut and weirdo for not having an outfit on under my hospital gown? The male nurse who stripped my naked and ripped my ecg dots off my body while I was crying.
I’m grateful for my cardiologist who listens, my new GP who goes above and beyond. But I’m fucking angry at everyone else and the situation I’ve found myself in.
Rant over.