This might sound strange, but I’m a cis gay man who generally comes across as straight. My career is going really well, I’m ambitious, and I want to move into leadership.
I’ve been thinking about getting an earring. A tiny decision, except I keep wondering whether looking more visibly queer could affect how seriously people take me professionally. And i know im getting progressed now more easily as i look "normal"
I keep coming back to that stereotypical “CEO Peter” image: the conventional-looking man people automatically see as leadership material. I don’t think most colleagues would consciously decide that an earring makes someone a worse leader. My concern is the unconscious association: who looks authoritative, who seems like a natural fit, who gets pictured in the next senior role.
And yes, this is the Netherlands. People are accepting, but I’m not convinced that acceptance always translates into equal opportunities once you stop fitting the expected image.
I’ve put effort into building my career and taking the right steps to progress. Part of me thinks I should establish myself further before experimenting with how I present myself. Another part wonders whether there will always be another promotion that makes me postpone it.
Has anyone here become more visibly queer or less conventional in their appearance while moving into management? Did it affect how people treated you?
I know an earring shouldn’t matter. I’m interested in whether, in practice, it does.