So I am actively looking for a new position and recently got an offer from parents who genuinely seem like nice people. They have a child who is in my preferred age range, they pay and benefits are great and it’s close to where I live. Sounds like a no-brainer right. But the thing is they BOTH work as AI research scientists, I think is what they said the job title was. I might be wrong about the title but how they explained it is they basically help make AI smarter. I‘m anti AI and it feels weird. I know a lot of people would probably feel like their NPs jobs are irrelevant but idk… How do you guys feel about this kind of thing?

I visited a house after talking to the mom for a week on Nannylane / texting. She seemed really kind and shared my love for Mr. Roger. When I got there they showed me the playroom and I asked them why their current nanny was leaving. The dad explained that she was 60 years old so she couldn’t keep up with the kids, refused to say no, and just did a pretty poor job in general. He mentioned that he liked her because she shared his family’s traditional values though. He then said that she doesn’t read them “books that confuse them about what gender they are and stuff like that” which he liked.
I was so uncomfortable and nervous that it took me about 5-10 mins to say that I actually think the books he’s referring to are helpful for kids to see all kinds of different people and that I would describe myself as very liberal and that I am a queer person myself (I’m a lesbian). I said if our values didn’t align that was completely fine but I didn’t want to waste their time. They didn’t really say anything to that and the mom continued the tour for another 10 mins. But then she made a comment less than 25 min into me being there that made it obvious she wanted me to leave. I thanked her for her time and left.
I am confused because if me being queer was a deal breaker, why continue the interview? If for some odd reason she does still offer me the job…..there’s like no way I should ever take it….right? I’m so sad and don’t know what to do moving forward. Do I need to find out ahead of time if a family is homophobic before I drive there? How do I even go about doing that?

I really find it so hard to believe that your nanny let your child hang off the roof (obv an exaggeration, but the purpose of this post lol)

I feel like a lost of posts from nanny families here just want to demonize their nanny and are only looking for people to say "FIRE THEM!"

Hello, I’m going on a vacation with my Nanny family. Two children: one boy one years old, and a girl who is five. They are paying for my flights/food, I get my own room. I’m only working a couple days and I’ll have at least two days to go off and explore on my own. Typically for one kid I make 20 and then for two kids I make 25. Mom asked me what I thought a fair pricing was per hour on the trip - so I figured I’d ask you guys cause I have no idea.

Chicas tuve que dejar la familia para la que trabaje 3 meses derrepente por una emergencia , ne han dejado el mensaje en visto . Es algo que no puedo controlar pero no puedo evitar sentirme mal 🥺

Title: My nanny is very loving with my baby, but she’s disrespectful of boundaries, doesn’t follow instructions, and I no longer trust her. Am I overreacting?
I’ve had a nanny for the past two months. She came recommended by a friend’s nanny, and she’s originally from the same country as me, although we currently live in the US.
She’s very sweet, loving, and affectionate with my 1-year-old daughter, which is why I’m struggling so much with this situation.
However, there are several things that have been bothering me.
First, she’s extremely disorganized and messy. She leaves hair everywhere (I shed hair too, so I understand, but she doesn’t bother cleaning it up). She’ll even fold my baby’s clean clothes with hairs stuck between them. When she prepares meals for my daughter, she leaves the kitchen a complete mess for hours. Her excuse is always that she’s busy taking care of the baby, but I’m a stay-at-home mom and spend a significant amount of time with my daughter throughout the day, including after meals. So it’s not like she’s constantly watching the baby with no opportunity to clean up.
But honestly, the mess isn’t even my biggest concern. I feel like that’s something I could address.
My biggest issue is her lack of manners, professionalism, and respect for personal boundaries.
She has a very strong, loud personality, and while I have absolutely nothing against someone being outgoing or cheerful, I feel like she has no sense of what’s appropriate when working in someone else’s home.
She’s constantly dancing around the apartment, even when my husband, my mother, or my in-laws are around. She plays loud music while cooking, despite us living in a small apartment. If I’m FaceTiming my parents, she’ll start FaceTiming her daughter right next to me, speaking extremely loudly, or she’ll put on music without considering that I’m on a call.
She also constantly interrupts conversations I’m having with my husband, inserts herself into private discussions, and sometimes behaves as though she’s part of conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with her.
I feel like she doesn’t understand basic social boundaries or professional etiquette. There’s a level of familiarity she assumes with me and my family that I’m simply not comfortable with.
I want to have a warm, friendly relationship with the person caring for my daughter, but I also expect a certain level of respect, discretion, and professionalism in my own home.
I don’t think she’s intentionally trying to be disrespectful, but I do think she lacks basic manners and social awareness. I genuinely don’t know how to bring this up without making her feel like I’m attacking who she is as a person. And unlike cleaning or organization, I don’t know if these are things you can really teach someone.
But here’s what worries me the most: she doesn’t always follow my instructions regarding my daughter.
For example, the other day I specifically told her NOT to bathe my baby and to give her 4 mL of medicine. I stepped out, and my husband called to tell me she was bathing her anyway and had almost given her 8 mL of medicine. DOUBLE the amount I had instructed.
Thankfully, my husband was right there and stopped her. He had actually been keeping a closer eye on things because he knows I’ve been unhappy with her performance.
And that’s where I feel like I’ve reached my limit.
I hired a nanny to make my life easier and give me some peace of mind, but instead, I feel more stressed than ever. I constantly have to supervise her, repeat instructions, correct things, and double-check everything. I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with my daughter anymore.
It’s gotten to the point where I’m losing sleep over this. I feel uncomfortable in my own home, and every day feels mentally exhausting because I can’t fully relax or trust her to handle things independently.
She’s affectionate and loving toward my daughter, and I know how important that is. But I also believe that being loving isn’t enough if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, follow instructions, or demonstrate good judgment.
Am I being too demanding? Is it reasonable to expect a nanny to have a certain level of manners, discretion, and professionalism, or am I expecting too much?
Would you sit her down and try to address these issues, or would you accept that she’s simply not the right fit for your family?
I’d really appreciate some honest opinions from other parents, especially those who have dealt with something similar.

So I wanna know AITAH over something that happened at the playground today I was with my toddler NK and he was playing on one of those elevated platforms that have stairs, a slide, monkey bars and other climbing equipment. There was another kid around my NK’s age who was playing up there too but his grown-up wasn’t with him. He was definitely young enough that he needed direct supervision to be playing there. I ended up watching him kind of by default since he was interacting with my NK. He was trying some crazy stunts so several times I had to correct him so he was safe and help him.

Eventually I did notice his nanny sitting on a bench across the playground because the kid kept calling to her asking her to come play. She was on her phone and would glance up at him every so often but wouldn’t come over. Honestly I think it’s rude of her to have another adult looking after her NK just because they are interacting with my NK. Like she saw me helping him balance and slide and climb. Come over here and look after your NK yourself!

I eventually got sick of it and realized she wasn’t gonna come over and so her job if I was here doing it for her so I took my NK and walked away to a different part of the park. I continued playing with my NK and the other kid played alone for a minute or so. His nanny eventually came running over after he almost fell climbing something. After that she spent the entirety of the rest of our time at the playground shooting me dirty looks and she’d snatch the kid up whenever he came near us. I don’t think I was wrong, I knew it was kind of a risk but I figured the nanny would come rushing over when she lost her childcare lol and I was right. AITAH??

Has anyone worked with a therapist as the primary parent in their NK household?

Context: mom is therapist, kid has autism and PDA, I am employed by the state as a PCA for the kid. Make 22 p hour. They “generously” pay me 7.00 on top of that. So they pay 7.00 an hour. I do a lot of household work in addition to caring for kid, run errands and pretty much have been available to them whenever they need. I get thank yous every once in awhile and we appreciate it. But often the tone I perceive around the house is the kid rules all, and I am the maid. Mom micromanages pretty much everything and has control over almost everything kid does/little boundaries (I.e is always available to kid). Mom texts me consistently when I am at house and gives me lots of direction. Have worked with family for 1.5 years.

Had a very rough, emotional breakdown today at work because I wouldn’t trade boardwalk to the nk when we were playing monopoly. Was told I was disregulating the kid and that if she was playing she’d let the kid win. I said I didn’t feel comfortable with that. I felt undermined by the mom. Which happens a lot and I think has led to the nk to behave like has the power in our relationship.

Too much feeling to get into.
Pretty much I finally told nanny mom that I have felt disrespected and undermined by her for a long time. And unfairly compensated. She was shocked that 29 (pre tax) was not enough money p hour, and that I hadn’t brought it up before.

Hopefully folks in this group can imagine there is never time to bring anything up. Nor have I felt like I was able to. I assumed that this is what I had to do to keep this job.

I’m not sure I want to work in a PDA household again. Low demand parenting feels like abusing everyone else who is not the kid. Anyone else had experience like this or insight?

Most likely going to quit.

Anyone else ever feel this way about their NPs? They have one child who is 3 and she is wonderful but sometimes I wonder why her parents even wanted a child because they don’t seem to make an effort to spend time with her. For context both parents WFH, MB is a part time virtual substitute doctor which I didn’t even know was a thing but basically she is an MD but sees patients virtually when their regular doctor is unavailable. So she works for a total of maybe 4 hours a day. From talking to her she doesn’t like working face-to-face and enjoys her free time. DB is a tiktok and instagram influencer so he records videos and hangs out with his friends in the basement all day. I hate to sound judgmental but I work 10 hrs/day and they are home doing nothing for a majority of that time. And several times a week they will ask me to stay late last minute literally just so they can watch tv and eat takeout in their bedroom, and often when they relieve me they hand NK a tablet so they don’t need to interact with her. As far as I can tell they don’t spend much time with her on the weekend, they have a babysitter they utilize on Saturday or Sunday or both days.

I guess I’m just confused here, I don’t understand having a baby and then paying for basically around the clock childcare. It would be one thing if they actually worked crazy hours or something but these people are barely working. I have such a strong dislike for these types of parents that I’m actively looking for a different position so I can put in my 2 weeks notice ASAP, it’s honestly so weird.

I’ve dealt with chronic pain for years, and while it has improved after a couple rounds of physical therapy, I still experience flare ups from time to time. I’m having a big one right now and it’s impacting my work!

I feel lethargic and I’m in a ton of pain today. I’m usually very active with my nanny kids, but when my pain flares up like this I tend to sit on the couch for most of the day reading books with the kids. I feel so guilty about it, but taking them on outings is super labor intensive, even though most of the time I enjoy doing it.

Any other nannies deal with this? Do you feel judged my your nanny family when you have days like this? I’m afraid they’re silently judging me, but I work long days and I’m just trying to do my best.

Okay.
I work for a really rich family and they kind of treat me like dirt.
I watch 2 years told twin girls from 10am-6pm and an 8 year old boy and a 5 year old boy with them from 3:30-6pm.
During the day I need to clean the entire kitchen do the dishes and put away all the food left out from the mom making them breakfast before school, I have to clean the front entrance with all of the moms shoes everywhere, I have to clean the living room and dining room of all the kids toys, I have to fold and put away laundry every other day or so.
All of this while I have to take the girls out for an hour every morning, make them lunch and snacks, play with them at home , put them down for a nap for 2 hours\,* wake them up do snack, the boys come home from school I then have to make sure they put all of their things away, do homework and have a snack, then play with all four of them until 5 when I take the twins outside to play or on a walk, then come home feed them all dinner and clean up after the mom cooking dinner. Usually it’d be right in the evenings but manageable during the day because of the nap- but recently the mom said she isn’t able to put the girls down for bed at night and it takes her two hours so she doesn’t want them to nap. So not only do I not get a break in the day, but I also don’t get that time to complete all the household tasks.
I thought about asking for a raise after a year of work but the dad is so mega “alpha male” and talking to him makes me feel really gross so I chickened out. Now we’re going on year 2 no raise. I’ve taught these babies how to talk, how to walk, feed themselves, how to dance, how to sing, and I even did potty training.
I come home from work most days and just cry because the mom is a SAHM and she doesn’t back me up on ANYTHING. If I’ve said no to something the girls now go running to their mom and ask for it and she says yes knowing I’ve said no. She also doesn’t speak to me unless she has to about the kids. When she has friends over it’s just me running around cleaning while she ignores me AND her kids. She gets very angry with me when I’m running 1 or 2 minutes behind in the mornings but she expects me to be there 10 minutes early and stay as late as they need me to if the days busy.
She is a SAHM and she goes to yoga and Pilates and shopping and out with friends, I feel so sad sometimes that her kids don’t get more of her. The girls scream and cry when she’s around. They stop listening to me and start fighting and hitting each-other and begging for snacks. I know it’s for emotional support from mom and to get SOMETHING but it makes me so sad because those are not the kids I raised and she now only gets to experience them deregulated and she doesn’t see the amazing girls that I know.

It’s getting to the point where I feel like quitting because mom doesn’t treat me like a human being and I’m only making 25 CAD an hour, taxed. I thought about asking for 30 but I don’t know if it’s worth even staying for a raise…

Agh! Just frustrated and need to vent.

Last week was a big week for my NF, and I get it… but i’m still really upset.

NK(3) was sick last week, MB told me on Monday that he “just developed a cough, no fever or anything.” Sure, whatever, kids will get coughs, I typically do not come in if there’s a fever/green snot/throw up. 9/10 times if the kids are sick, I will get sick and then not only will I miss a week of work, but I will also be sick. Which sucks!!

It’s tuesday and we’re at the park, seemingly out of nowhere NK(3) starts throwing up. NK(6) proceeds to tell me that he actually threw up a bunch this weekend AND had a fever but mom didn’t want to tell me because she knew I wouldn’t come in. UGH!

Like first of all, you can’t really hide that your child is sick, I spend enough time with him to know that’s he’s sick. Second of all, why are you LYING TO ME?!?! like be so for real!!!

Now I have been trying to ward off whatever illness NK has for the last 5 days and I have my mom coming to visit this week 🙃

So frustrating. Don’t understand why she thought she could lie about it and I wouldn’t know.

Pray to whoever you pray to that I stay healthy lol
thanks for listening :)

(I don’t know what to flair this as. I would consider it miscellaneous).

I’m becoming anxious and mad at myself. And legit don’t know what to do other than meditation probably 😭

My hands are so heavy. I’ve broken a couple things in their house that I didn’t even realize until my boss mentions. I’ve broken the baby gate screws to the wall, the trashcan cabinet, and now the locking mechanism (or something?) is broken on one of the kitchen drawers all because of me.

I don’t really understand why and how I’m doing this because at my last job, my hands were not like that. Or maybe because I was always in my head, whereas at this job, I feel I am way too comfortable.

I have noticed sometimes even the way I close the yard gate or putting plates away, I am not gentle. 😭

This is probably one of the most bizarre posts of today for you? But yeah. I guess I felt like I needed to vent. I feel crappy that I’m breaking things in their house. Ugh.

My NK2 is great at independent play, as I would expect at that age, but I find myself getting bored during it. She doesn’t like to play pretend with me, and sometimes she doesn’t want me to touch her toys or play with her at all, and I truly respect that and her space. When we do activities together, such as arts and crafts, or outside activities we are perfectly fine with sharing, but would it be weird for me to read a book while she is independently playing at home?? I'm obviously always going to be in the same room with her.

Dont like talking about my bosses online, but I genuinely need other opinions from parents and nannies alike.

My employers are very anxious about illness and have specific hygiene practices, including masking indoors, that I agreed to follow. I’m not looking to complain about rules I willingly accepted. But I did want to give that context.

Earlier this year, late winter moving into spring, DB asked me about allergy medication, bought some, and gave it to me to take home. My understanding was that it was for occasional use as needed, but I never agreed to take it daily or automatically whenever I experience symptoms.
I rarely experience allergy-like symptoms, maybe two or three times a year.

I’ve taken the medication when I felt I needed it, but I’m getting the impression they expect me to take it regardless. Their written sick policy requires me to report symptoms and says they may ask me to stay home depending on their severity and frequency, but it doesn’t mention requiring medication.

I’m trying to figure out how others would approach this.
For parents: Would you ever expect your nanny to take medication even if she explicitly told you she didn’t feel she needed it?

For nannies: If you felt the job was otherwise decent, would you take medication you didn’t feel you needed as a small sacrifice to keep the peace, or would that cross a personal boundary for you?
I’d appreciate honest perspectives from both sides.

Outside of their anxiety, they are otherwise decent people who seemingly make an effort to be morally upright. However, their reach for being the perfect parent who never lets their child be exposed to germs is genuinely confusing to me. I mean that as politely as I can. I’m an experienced nanny (10yrs of experience, 8 kids cared for by yours truly). I don’t think their expectations are aligned with how reality functions, especially when a child is involved.
Maybe I’m wrong! LMK please!

Has anyone worked with a therapist as the primary parent in their NK household?

Context: mom is therapist, kid has autism and PDA, I am employed by the state as a PCA for the kid. Make 22 p hour. They “generously” pay me 7.00 on top of that. So they pay 7.00 an hour. I do a lot of household work in addition to caring for kid, run errands and pretty much have been available to them whenever they need. I get thank yous every once in awhile and we appreciate it. But often the tone I perceive around the house is the kid rules all, and I am the maid. Mom micromanages pretty much everything and has control over almost everything kid does/little boundaries (I.e is always available to kid). Mom texts me consistently when I am at house and gives me lots of direction. Have worked with family for 1.5 years.

Had a very rough, emotional breakdown today at work because I wouldn’t trade boardwalk to the nk when we were playing monopoly. Was told I was disregulating the kid and that if she was playing she’d let the kid win. I said I didn’t feel comfortable with that. I felt undermined by the mom. Which happens a lot and I think has led to the nk to behave like has the power in our relationship.

Too much feeling to get into.
Pretty much I finally told nanny mom that I have felt disrespected and undermined by her for a long time. And unfairly compensated. She was shocked that 29 (pre tax) was not enough money p hour, and that I hadn’t brought it up before.

Hopefully folks in this group can imagine there is never time to bring anything up. Nor have I felt like I was able to. I assumed that this is what I had to do to keep this job.

I’m not sure I want to work in a PDA household again. Low demand parenting feels like abusing everyone else who is not the kid. Anyone else had experience like this or insight?

Most likely going to quit.

Hi everyone, my husband and I found out we are expecting twins. We have two other kids who will be 4 almost 5 and 3 when we will need to figure out childcare for all 4 (twins will be about six months old).

My question - do you feel that watching four young kids of these ages feasible for one person? Would you do this? I would appreciate the honesty. Dad would be working from home 3 days per week as well.

I get it. really I do. nannies should make your life easier but not by you making our jobs harder…

I’ve talked about it before. SLEEP. so again they decided we have to cut both NKa nap. 2 and now 7 months.
adjusted nap time. pushed it back. then they moved it forward NK2 because she’s in school.

now on to the infant. they really struggle with getting her to sleep. so I had to adjust our schedule. we came up with somewhat of a solid plan two weeks ago. TWO!! was an annoying adjustment because of the older one is in school but made it work. i also don’t struggle with getting her to sleep. we were doing good on the new schedule BUT my NPs have an annoying habit of if something goes good once its a perfect plan. and one off day we have to change everything again. we were all sick last week. myself and my NKs so of course sleep with be out of whack. they had a hard time getting the infant down for her third nap which pushed back bedtime. and they weren’t happy that the sick baby was struggling. so you know what the solution was?! we just cut out her nap. so because we had 2 bad days out of 14 we drop a nap.

just like adults children need time to adjust. we have good days and bad ones even when we are used to a schedule.

so now with the 2 naps essentially I get a 15 minute break throws off our afternoon schedule and I work 9-15 hours a day. hooray!!

my issue is this schedule might work when there’s two adults and you have help. I don’t have help. I want them to try doing all of this on their own before making me do it. but it’s all because they want more sleep. I get compliments that they struggle with both of them

I go on vacation in a few days and DB is also supposed to leave the same day as me. MB made him change his flight because “how am I supposed to manage both kids I obviously took the day off but” yeah mhmm

I've recently been offered a position with a UHNW family on the West Coast and wanted to get some insight from nannies who have worked in similar households.

I don't want to share too many details for privacy reasons, but the role involves a multi-day schedule with a mix of daytime and overnight shifts. There are multiple children in the home, although I would only be responsible for one school-aged child. The household is extremely formal, with a large staff and pretty extensive systems, protocols, and security measures in place.

I've worked several ROTA contracts in the past earning between $150,000–$175,000 annually, but this role feels quite a bit more demanding simply because of how formal and structured the environment is. I have only worked in fully-staffed UHNW homes.

I'm curious if anyone has worked in a similar setting and what you would consider a reasonable compensation package. I'm especially interested in salary, benefits, PTO, and anything else you think would be worth negotiating. Would love to hear what others are making in comparable roles or what you'd ask for in my position.

Hi! I’m growing my family and anticipate needing to hire more help in the future, due to me and my husband continuing to work full time. Is it ever normal to have multiple nannies with overlapping shifts so that no one caretaker gets overwhelmed? I don’t want to expect one caretaker to do it all. Right now we have one nanny for a baby (11 months) and toddler (2.5 years). She doesn’t take them on outings and barely takes them outside (we have to beg her to / set everything up for her) — because of differing nap schedules. No housework. The only time she will take the toddler out is if my WFH husband watches the baby (typically while napping). I’m just thinking that if you add 1-2 more kids to the mix, with any sort of activity schedule, it’s going to get overwhelming fast and the kids will just be stuck inside at all times unless I have multiple caretakers at once.

What is the appropriate bonus amount and gift for nanny’s ? Is a bonus customary? California based. We are very happy with her

Hi everyone! I have been a nanny for the past 10 years, infants, toddlers, some work from home families but with older kiddos and never babies with WFH families.
I currently work as a postpartum RN and have a lot of experience with babies but also am very aware that sometimes… babies cry. They just do.
I recently started a very part-time reoccurring position for a mom with a 4 month old. Dad works from home, downstairs and mom is often doing home stuff/around or running errands.
Baby is overall super chill, but definitely fussy with me which I know is due to the fact he doesn’t know me yet. They do contact and crib naps but I have been starting every nap with a crib nap, and when he wakes I do a contact to finish it off. He usually lasts about 20 minutes in the crib only. Sometimes he fight naps and just screams as I am trying to bounce him to sleep but apparently he doesn’t do that for them— so I feel super odd everytime they are just home and he’s screaming and I know they want to come get him but I vocalized at our interview I appreciate letting me handle it so we can connect and everything.
Sometimes he also is just so fussy and grumpy/grunty lol. How do you get over the awkward feeling knowing parents are just listening and everything?? I feel incompetent but I know babies are just WEIRD humans sometimes

We are looking for hire an after school nanny for our daughter 5 days a week to pick her up from the bus stop, get her a snack, help her with homework, take her to after school activities, and feed her dinner. We are also hoping to be able to establish a relationship so eventually daughter would be comfortable enough for nanny to do overnights. We have had some really sweet candidates, some where what we need is just not a match, and then a handful that have had rocky interviews but come with great experience on paper and references. We haven’t had the “perfect candidate” yet so I need to drop my expectations a bit.

The rocky part of expectation I need to drop is the professionalism of interviews. A few have showed up a few minutes late and others have scheduled interviews only to contact me minutes before the interview to say they need to reschedule.

I am the type of person who thinks early is on time but this isn’t a corporate job. Is showing up to a nanny interview on time or giving more than 2 minutes notice reasonable expectations?

I adore the family I work for and have very few complaints about them or the job in general, but I hate how messy they are. I’m not talking about a few dishes here and there, I mean every Monday the house is trashed. Even if the kids tell me NPs cleaned over the weekend you would never be able tell.

When I leave on Fridays the home is clean, dishes are done, and toys are put away. But every monday I return to a nightmare. Zero silverware in the drawer, kids clothes thrown onto the floor of any and every room, craft supplies thrown about in the craft closet, incomplete crafts on the table and floors, dishes in sinks, dishes on counters, dishes in multiple rooms, spilled food, old milk bottles under the furniture or behind it, 5-6 loads worth of family laundry in just two days, and it goes on.

For context other people do help clean the house, but it’s just crazy to me. They have busy jobs and barely see their kids so I understand they are tired and want to be in the moment. It is just crazy to me no one has any desire to pick any of it up. I’ve seen them use plastic forks for breakfast because none are clean in the drawer. I’ve even worked a Sunday and it was still almost as bad. In just a single day. i clean the mess and keep trucking every week because I love my job and the pay is great, but starting all over every week sucks. Especially because the kids clean up everything after themselves when I am here telling them to and assisting if needed. When the parents are here I’ve seen the kids straight up throw trash on the floor while watching tv…

Hide and seek with a toddler is such a good game/time killer. You can leave the room, count to 10, then slowly search the house to find them (you obviously know where they are) then once you “find” them you make a huge deal that you found them and then it’s their turn to count. I’ve been hiding for 8 minutes and counting and she’s still sitting counting over and over again on her own😂 Just in case anyone needs some alone time and forgot about this gem!