Making a standalone post, because comments are just getting downvoted with no answers.

Working from home is different than working in an office. There’s a lot of nuance and figuring out time management, navigating professional relationships without seeing people in person, etc. having a sub for moms who work from home seems like such a valuable thing.

The sub’s rules are inclusive of moms with or without childcare.

HOWEVER, it seems like when people post “how the hell do you work from home, my kids completely distract me,” (and they don’t say anything about childcare), any comment that says “oh my kids are (in whatever situation of childcare)” gets downvoted.

Childcare is a completely reasonable and normal suggestion for young children while parents are working. I don’t understand the culture of immediately downvoting anyone who suggests it or some form/combo of it.

Is the automatic assumption that everyone who works from home does not want to use childcare? Are working moms with childcare unwelcome here? Does there need to be a separate space for WFH moms with childcare so we can have our own support space and talk about the struggles/concerns specific to working from home?

I've been in this sub for a while, left Reddit for a few months and came back, and I'm confused about when the overall tone started to shift.

I remember this being a really supportive space for moms who work from home while also caring for their kids, whether that meant having no childcare, part-time childcare, or full-time childcare. It felt like a place where moms could share tips and support each other without judgment.

Now it seems like almost every post about working from home with kids gets met with comments saying you absolutely need childcare and that it's unrealistic or unfair to try to do both.

I understand that every job, child, and family situation is different, and I'm not saying everyone can or should work without childcare. But wasn't the whole point of this sub to have a space specifically for moms navigating working from home, including those doing it without childcare??

I'm just wondering why people who feel so strongly that childcare is a necessity wouldn't just participate in r/workingmoms, where that perspective already seems to be the norm. Anyone else notice this?

I just hit my 4 years at my company which also marks 4 years of working from home with my twins. I started when they were 10 months old and, provided nothing changes, I will be doing this until they start kindergarten. I just wanted to give some info for anyone on the fence about whether or not working from home with little or no childcare will work for you.

For basically the first 4 years my husband and I had mostly opposite schedules. I worked 7-4 and he worked 1:30-10 so it was super manageable. I also had an insanely flexible job and basically worked 10 hours a week, so I had the ability to take them to parks and the library during my workday and would just bring my laptop with me and I also had my work apps on my phone so I could respond to emergencies. I work in the construction adjacent industry and at the time worked as a service coordinator taking calls very rarely and doing most of my communication via email. If the work was done by the end of the day, nobody had any issues.

I’ve gotten promoted 4 times in the last 4 years and my role has changed quite a bit over time. When the twins were still napping I’d get basically everything done while my husband was home and then finish my work up during nap time. Once they dropped naps and we moved further away from my husband’s work where he then had to leave an hour earlier than normal, things got harder and required a lot more moving things around and occasionally working after bedtime or waking up extra early to start my day.

Because my kids have each other, they have their built in playmate and I truly feel like this is the only way it works. I also still try and make sure we get out around lunchtime every single day so that I can get a break from the screen and spend some time with them.

My husband and I now have the same schedule and it’s harder, but I’ve also gotten more efficient at my job which helps. I find that I’ll get 30-60 minutes of independent play out of the kids and then we all need some family time. With my husband being home in the evenings, I can get work done then if needed and worst case scenario I can work over the weekend if I really need to catch up.

My point of this post is that the survivability of this setup relies on so many different factors - children’s temperament, job duties, hours typically needed to do the job, ability to focus and also regain focus often, meeting culture (video on or constant meetings would make this hard for me), and how much your partner or family/friends can help. My best friend is a SAHM and will watch them when I have to go into the office for monthly meetings, and my dad is retired and will also take them for a few hours if needed. Also, if you have the type of job where you can work 2 jobs simultaneously (overemployed) then it would probably be easier to do one job with no childcare.

Lastly, I do want to mention we have 2 days of 3.5 hour preschool, and if I could afford more I probably would. The hardest part for me is never feeling good enough in either role, and wanting to sometimes turn off my mom brain or turn off my work brain, rather than having to wear so many hats at once. In some ways it feels like the worst nightmare mix of SAHP/working full time, and in other ways I feel like I have the dream setup of getting to spend so much time with my kids while also getting to pursue my career and grow my skills. But if I could do it all over again I don’t think I’d change a thing, and I’m so grateful my boys get to see both of their parents work and that it will always be the norm for them to have parents who are partners and equals.

i feel like i only get stuff done when my 13 month old is sleeping.
what are your kids doing while you work and how old are they?

What are we wearing every day as busy moms of toddlers and little kids thats still comfy, flexible, and breathable but not necessarily leggings….

I pretty much only wear my leggings or my one pair of jogger pants and I just feel like now that I’m in my 30s and pregnant with my second. I’m just too old to be wearing leggings everywhere. I also work from home (pretty much) except going into the office once a week where I would typically wear jeans or a dress but otherwise when I’m at home, I’ll just continue wearing my leggings.

So anyways, what are we wearing that is “age appropriate”, comfy, has pockets, and all that good stuff.

Bonus it there’s talls/extra length because I’m 5’11.

Among other reasons (save $$ on daycare or nanny/nanny share, quality of care, etc)? If they were not local, did they come stay/live with you? And for how long? Did you consider this option, why or why not? Any advice? Thank you!

Hello all! I'm at a bit of a crossroads here.

I have a job now that was amazing, flexible, paid well. I'm at $100K going into the office one day a week usually. It's about 1.5 hr drive. I watch my 1 year old usually two days a week, sometimes I have someone come depending on her availability, and my husband is in charge the other three days.

We recently got bought and all perks have continued BUT they are realigning titles and have slotted me into a role I don't enjoy as much so i applied to another one recently and it snowballed quick into an offer.

The new job would be fully remote because it's out of state, but they want me to be open to travel to clients on occasion and a couple of days each quarter. I got the impression after a few meetings that they would be fairly flexible with notice and planning on those in office visits. This would be doing the role I was doing before realignment and (the biggest thing) bumps me up to $155K.

I'm nervous to make the jump because of the travel (my husband works doubles the two nights a week I watch my son) and also just having to bond again with new people because I liked my team. Also because I'm on a wait-list for a daycare but he'll be home with me those two days with unreliable care until then and I don't want to blow the opportunity.

It's too much money to walk away from right? Like my current employer wants to see if they can counter but I really doubt they will be able to. Maybe I'm just change resistant?

FTM here. Just found out 2 weeks before I return to work that my lo doesn’t have a spot until mid Feb at daycare (long story, director is no longer working there). Finding another spot last minute isn’t an option as we had to reserve our spot 9 months ago & there’s waiting lists everywhere I’ve checked.

Luckily my husband also works from home & I found an in home nanny for twice a week on our meeting heavy days. No family near by/not an option. We’ve built our own tiny village.

Any tricks & tips much appreciated!!! Maybe some words of encouragement.

He’ll be 12 weeks when I go back. So far I have a pack and play set up for both our offices, have written down what his eating/nap “schedule” looks like, and my husband and I plan to review our meeting schedule on non nanny days this weekend. My job is fairly flexible besides meetings so I plan to start my day at 4 am when my pump alarm goes off. I do my best project managing then anyway.

Am I crazy to think this will be hard but doable? That maybe this is for the best as he was born really small & this will give him some time to grow & avoid holiday sickness I.e. trying to find the positive. That it will be a blur & a memory we will laugh at, never to be repeated again…. Hopefully.

I'm currently 20wks pregnant as a FTM, my husband is in school he used to work IT but was miserable and got laid off with no luck finding a job in the field since then. We are both 36, and he's now working on an engineering degree which I think is wonderful, but then we got pregnant unexpectedly. We decided to go through with it and have this baby but I'm scared I've ruined our life by doing so. I am a medical coder and the main provider, I work from home and have kept us afloat while my husband focuses on this difficult degree and works part time as a line cook. I HAVE to keep my job, as it is I won't be getting hardly any maternity leave which is already stressing me but I need to figure out how to keep working well enough to keep my job and take care of my baby. I'll have my mom helping but I don't think it's reasonable or realistic to expect her to be there everyday I work. I think my boss will be fairly flexible with my schedule but I can't afford daycare with what we currently bring in and without my husband's part time job we are paycheck to paycheck and that was before the pregnancy. I don't know what to do I keep seeing people say it's impossible to have a baby and work from home at the same time without daycare or daily childcare.

Have we messed up here? I don't want to end up homeless which if I can't work we will. I'm really having a crisis over this, please does anyone make this work or have you been in this kind of situation and how did you navigate it?

So I have been WFH on nights for the last year and a half. There may be a new opportunity for me to grow in my job but it would require day shift hrs. I have a preschool age child & a 2 yr old who would be at home during the day and a partner who is a SAHP. Some unique things about my job that may be helpful to know: it's healthcare adjacent so calls remain HIPAA compliant (I don't have physical paperwork so there's no risk of a violation there) and I do take inbound calls so there really isn't an option to be up & moving away from my desk outside of breaks (two 15 & a 30). At night on the rare occasion a child wakes up and tries to sneak to chat with me it's usually stopped quickly but I do have concerns about background noise levels and their ability to leave me alone if my partner doesn't directly have eyes on them (making a meal, running the bathroom etc). Any advice would be helpful, it's a fairly high stress job but it's helped so much financially & I need to continue growing & excelling to maintain/ improve the kids quality of life.

I know I know. “You should have thought of that before” right? Well I did. It just didn’t seem so expensive at the time and now I’m looking at my bank account thinking “oh no.”

Well I’m 30 weeks pregnant and like so anxious. I feel like it’s even bad for the baby with how upset I am getting. I’m basically in tears writing this - for some odd reason. And I’m just feeling overwhelmed and like we’ll never have any money.

I calculated it out and daycare would be roughly 50k for us next year and probably more the year after. Which is pretty much my entire take home pay. It doesn’t make sense for me to quit because we’d take a bigger hit financially. We’d lose my benefits which are really great actually and my retirement match, etc. so it doesn’t make sense for me to quit. My 2 year old will also miss the school cut off by a day or two which means we have to do daycare for a whole extra YEAR.

Lastly, I like working and don’t think I could be a stay at home mom. My husband would actually love to be a stay at home dad ahhaha but he’s the breadwinner and makes way more than I do so we also can’t do that!

I’ve been thinking I should get a second job but my husband replied “you’re super pregnant. You’re already exhausted. We will figure it out. We always do” but none of that pays our bills. So I think maybe I need a weekend night and weekend job?

I am just wondering, what helps you “unspiral” yourself in situations like this? How do I calm down? What solutions are there? How did you figure it out if you’re in a similar situation?

Hi! I tried to WFH with a four month old at a high pressure job and lasted about a week 😂. I will be returning in a few months at which time I plan to send my baby to daycare. Can I hear some positive stories about babies around the same age?

UPDATE: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. You have no idea how much your positive stories put me at ease. Grateful for you all.

I just need to vent because, honestly, I don’t even know how to explain what I’ve been feeling lately.
I’m a work-from-home mom. I chose to work from home so I could take care of our daughter and handle her school drop-offs and pick-ups. I don’t regret that decision. I love my daughter, and I know I made that choice for our family.
But lately, I feel like while I’m doing my best for my family, I’m slowly losing myself in the process.
My husband goes to work, interacts with his coworkers, grabs coffee or milk tea outside, comes home, plays with our daughter, eats, and sleeps. Of course, he gets tired, too. I’m not saying he doesn’t make sacrifices or contribute to our family.
But here’s the difference: when he’s working, he’s just working. When I’m working, I’m still a mom.
My day starts early. I take care of our daughter, handle school drop-offs and pick-ups, think about what groceries and household supplies we need, what needs to be washed, what needs cleaning, and what we need to eat. Then I have my actual job, too.
Even when I’m on a break, I’m still a mom. Even when I’m trying to rest, I’m still the person my daughter needs. And even when I’m working, I still have all these household responsibilities running through my mind.
My meals usually come from a nearby eatery. When I go out, it’s almost always to buy groceries or fruit, or to drop off and pick up my daughter from school. Technically, I get to leave the house, but it’s almost always because I have something to do.
I miss having a life outside of being a mom and a wife.
I miss having adult conversations. I miss being able to go somewhere just because I want to, not because I need to buy something or pick someone up. I miss having time for myself without feeling like there are a hundred things waiting for me.
Lately, I’m exhausted even by the simplest things.
My husband tells me to take a leave from work so I can rest. He says I shouldn’t overthink things and that even if I lose my job, we can just go back to the province for a while.
But that’s not what I want him to understand.
Taking a leave doesn’t mean I stop being a mom. Even if I’m not working, my responsibilities as a mother don’t disappear. Going back to the province doesn’t automatically solve the reason I’m exhausted.
What hurts is that I feel like I have to keep explaining why I’m tired to the person who lives with me every day.
He told me that whenever he’s tired, he just sleeps. And honestly, good for him. I wish I could do that, too.
Because when he rests, he can actually rest. When I rest, I’m still a mom.
He does help around the house, and I acknowledge that. I’m not saying he does nothing. But there’s also the mental load of remembering, planning, and noticing all the little things that need to be done. Sometimes, I feel like I’m always mentally on duty.
Earlier, we argued, and he told me that we shouldn’t be weak. He said he was struggling with how I’ve been lately, especially because we had just gone on vacation and I was still feeling this way.
And I honestly don’t know how to explain myself anymore.
I know he makes sacrifices, too. I know he’s working hard for our family. But I feel like I’ve given up a different kind of freedom by choosing this arrangement for our daughter, and I don’t think he fully understands what that has cost me.
Lately, I don’t even feel like myself around him anymore. I notice that I’m more careful about what I say and how I react because I’m afraid of being criticized again. Even during our vacation, I felt awkward around him. Sometimes, I just wanted to be alone.
I miss the version of myself who could speak freely, laugh without overthinking, and simply exist without feeling like I had to explain or defend myself.
I don’t want to stop being a mom. I don’t regret loving and caring for my family.
I just wish I could still feel like I’m a person, too, outside of being someone’s mother and someone’s wife.
Maybe that’s why I’m so tired. It’s not just the chores, the work, or the lack of sleep. Maybe I’m tired of feeling like I’ve lost so much of myself and not knowing how to get that part of me back.
I don’t know if other moms feel this way, too. I just needed somewhere to let this out.

What are some good headsets that I can take calls that I can still hear my kid but the people on the phone can’t. Experience welcomed !

My son is almost 2, and I WFH. Even though I have to work, I feel like I still spend a lot of time taking care of him.

My husband does most of the childcare. I play with our son whenever I get a break and I'm often the one who puts him to bed. But when he wakes up at night, he'll often call for daddy over the baby monitor. Even when I go in to comfort him, he keeps asking where daddy is. One time, my husband heard him calling for daddy through comfyer and jokingly asked if I was a little jealous. I said no, but honestly I was.

It's the same during the day. I finish a meeting and come out to play with him, and he's happy playing with me. But as he gets tired, he runs to him. Even if my husband just goes into the kitchen, he has to follow him.

I know my husband spends more time with him, so it makes sense that he's more attached to him. But I'm home every day too, and I'm always trying to make time for him. Why am I never the one he turns to when he needs comfort.

My husband is in school so some days I am able to step away and get bulk work done but on days when he’s in school and I have big days, how are you doing it?! I work a new job now my old job was pretty independent as long as I was available I got a lot of my work done during naps/after bed/early morning and was available for questions off my phone during business hours but I am in a new job where I am more meeting heavy and there are days when I just need to be glued to my laptop.

How are you doing it on days like this? What is your set up? Playroom/office? I considered this but their toddlers, nuff said. They (twins 2 y.o. going on 3) would climb all over my workspace, tangled in wires, or do something bad to get my attention. How are you all doing it? My work is time sensitive today and I just don’t know how I’m going to do this (I say as I know at the end of the day it will some how some way work out).

We’re a single income family and family doesn’t really help. Husband went back to school because I could NOT be a full time WFH mom with twins and not have any help so he is home a lot.

I have 2u2, my second is EBF and I will be back at work (WFH) in less than a month. my baby nurses almost every hour and will nurse to sleep most of the time.
We will have a nanny for both kids but I feel like dealing with the baby is gonna be a struggle for both of us (looks like I’ve gotta be so hands on with the feeding)
If you were in a similar situation how did you handle it?

I try to stay away from pumping because I had HARD time pumping for my first and she ended up having bottle preference which ended BF journey early on l, and pumping was a complete pain afterwards.

I’ve been on maternity leave and I’m dreading going back to work tomorrow. I have a 12 week old and a 26 month old, and while I do have my MIL here to help her idea of help is having the TV babysit my toddler. While my job isn’t hard, they do however monitor productivity. My plan is to start early when my baby gets up so I can get some work done without my toddler being awake and then hopefully finishing my day in the middle of nap time. Unfortunately quitting my job isn’t an option right now. I’m just anxious about juggling work, running a household and raising two kids.

Any tips and suggestions? Or do you take work leave at the beginning?

Moms who own their own business: how did you handle maternity leave? Did you pause the business, keep working, or something in between? I’m expecting and trying to figure out what’s realistic. No judgment on any - just wanna know what worked for you.

I just want to start off by acknowledging the extreme privilege I’m in to have the option to potentially call it quits.

But I returned to wfm after 3 months pp with no village and my husband works in office all day and doesn’t come home until baby is asleep for bedtime so essentially I’m running around working, being a mom, and I exclusively pump.

My job used to be incredibly flexible with sick days and PTO and just being MIA when needed. Lately it’s been ramped up with micromanaging, daily check ins, daily syncs, reoccurring 1:1s, camera on, etc. I’ve been trying to coast for as long as I can but even coasting is difficult because I guess I still have to attend these calls and time babys naps and feedings etc, but she’s been getting clingier and hates when I’m looking away from her aka on a call and she’s sitting in the bouncer next to me.

The worst is if I’m in the middle of a 1:1 and she wakes from a nap, automatically rolls over and bawls. How can I suddenly just drop this call to tend to her?!

Anyways idk I just need a place to vent to I don’t even know what I’m asking for out of this. I just feel that when I do rage quit, it’ll be so weird to suddenly been working all my adult life and suddenly just not have a job??? I think im having several types of crises’ right now, identity crisis, whatever you name it.

Also for those who want to judge that I don’t want to hire help or enroll her in a day care, that’s basically my entire salary so what’s the point

I’m stressing out. I work 5 days a week and 6 hours a day from homes my husband works from home but has a huge opportunity to bag a new client across the country. He will still work from home but they want to fly him out so they can see how they work together and do some onboarding.

Usually my husband and I juggle back and forth between who is busy. I work at 6 am and I’m done around 1pm. Our 18 month old Daughter wakes up at 7:30 and takes a nap around noon until 2-3 This leaves me some time to finish work up and also prep dinner and a snack. But that still leaves a gap in the day.

She’s wonderful at independent play and I usually read to her and do some light playing between work calls. I know we will get through the week, but I’m stressing about those times my husband usually takes over.

I try to avoid sticking her in front of the Tv at all costs. Any activities or even toy suggestions to keep her occupied for like 30 minutes during the day? I’m at a loss. Other than books and television nothing much grabs her attention for long.

Give me all your hacks to make it through next week please!

Hi!

I go back to work Monday and I want to know what are your essentials? What are your saving grace equipment to keep baby entertained when working?

My baby is 5 months, is currently learning to roll over (hasn’t done it daily yet), he’s trying and has motivation to sit up, and is exclusively bottle fed.

Any and all suggestions welcome!

We have a swing, a chair, and a playmat.

Tia!

I’m 13 months postpartum and want to return to work, but I need at least 6 hours of focused work daily. My 13-month-old needs constant attention and rarely plays independently.

My husband works nights but helps from 12–7 PM. I’m alone with my daughter from 8 AM to noon, when my anxiety peaks. Since my husband returned to work two months ago, my anxiety has been getting worse, and I’m struggling to cope alone.

We tried hiring an 18-year-old helper, but my daughter kept crying for me. We live in Pakistan, where affordable domestic helpers often lack childcare training and can mostly supervise and play with toys.

Should I hire a helper again and give my daughter time to adjust, or focus on independent play? How do other parents manage focused work with a clingy toddler?