Hey everyone!
I'm 22M, originally from South Africa, and I moved to the United States earlier this year. I'm currently living in Pennsylvania (EST), and I've been trying to build a proper gaming/social circle here in North America since most of my old friends were back on European servers.
I'm making this post because, quite frankly, I'm getting really discouraged by how difficult it seems to find people who genuinely want to become friends.
I'm not looking for another Discord username to add to a growing list of people I'll never actually speak to. I'm looking for a genuine friend.
A little rant, because I'm honestly frustrated.
I've reached out to so many people over the past few months. People who make posts saying they're lonely, want genuine friendships, need gaming buddies, want someone to hang out with regularly, etc.
And then what happens?
We exchange a few messages, maybe play one game together, and then... absolutely nothing.
Some people never respond again. Others are seemingly never available. Some will happily play if I ask them, but wouldn't dream of reaching out themselves. And others just sit on my friends list indefinitely without ever making an effort.
I'm genuinely tired of it.
I don't want to feel like I'm begging someone to be my friend.
I don't want to constantly be the person who sends the first message, asks if someone wants to play, tries to arrange something, and keeps the entire friendship alive.
I want someone who actually gives a damn. Someone who might randomly message me and say, "Hey, wanna play something?" or "You around tonight?" Someone who genuinely enjoys spending time with me and wants to hang out because they want to, not because I keep asking.
I understand that everyone has their own lives. People work, study, have responsibilities, need time alone, and aren't available 24/7. That's completely normal, and I'm not expecting constant attention or immediate replies.
All I'm asking for is mutual effort.
If I'm interested in becoming your friend, I'll make time for you, reach out, and put in effort. I'd just really like that to be reciprocated.
Maybe I've just been unlucky, but moving to a new country and trying to rebuild a social circle from scratch has been a lot harder than I expected. At this point, I've genuinely started wondering whether I'll ever manage to make a proper, lasting friendship here in the US. Some days I feel like giving up on looking altogether.
But I'm giving it another shot because I'd really love to find someone I click with.
The games I'm into:
I'm primarily a PC gamer, and I enjoy both competitive games and more relaxed co-op experiences.
My main games and interests include:
- League of Legends — Probably my main game overall. I mostly play mid and enjoy Summoner's Rift normals, ranked, and Arena. I used to play around Emerald on EUW before moving to NA. I'm not really an ARAM person.
- Deadlock — I'm REALLY interested in getting into this game, but I'm still extremely new. I'd absolutely love to find someone to learn with, or someone experienced who doesn't mind playing with a beginner!
- Dead by Daylight — Another game I've played quite a bit and enjoy.
- The Outlast Trials — Love this kind of co-op horror.
- R.E.P.O. — Definitely interested in playing more.
- Phasmophobia — Always down for some ghost hunting.
- Minecraft — Especially fun with someone to regularly build and explore with.
- Valorant — I enjoy competitive shooters too.
I'm also interested in survival games, horror games, competitive multiplayer games, and generally anything that's enjoyable with good company.
I don't expect us to play every single game on this list. Even having two or three games in common is great if we actually get along!
And honestly, I'm happy just hanging out in Discord sometimes, chatting, watching something together, or doing our own things while talking. Not every interaction needs to revolve around a game.
The kind of friendship I'm looking for:
Ideally, I'd love to meet someone who:
- Is male, around 20–25 years old, and living in North America.
- Is preferably in EST or CST, although other North American timezones are fine if our schedules overlap.
- Plays on PC.
- Is comfortable with Discord and voice chat.
- Actually wants a long-term, genuine friendship, not just someone to fill a lobby for an evening.
- Is friendly, chill, relatively mature, and non-toxic.
- Can joke around, have fun, and not take everything ridiculously seriously.
- Doesn't mind occasionally being the one to initiate a conversation or invite someone to play.
- Has interests and a life outside gaming too. I'd love to get to know the actual person behind the username.
- Is interested in a strictly platonic friendship. I'm not looking for flirting, sexual conversations, NSFW interactions, or anything of that nature.
As far as personality goes, I get along best with fairly laid-back, down-to-earth people. I'm not particularly progressive politically, so I'd prefer someone who is comfortable with that and isn't looking to turn every conversation into a political argument. We don't have to agree on absolutely everything.
I'm also not looking for somebody who expects me to be available every waking moment. I value personal space and independence, and I'd give you the same respect.
I just want something that feels natural and mutual.
A little more about me:
Besides gaming, I'm an accounting graduate and currently working toward building my career here in the US. Moving internationally has been a pretty major life change, so I've been spending a lot of time getting settled and figuring things out.
I'm fairly easygoing, enjoy having a laugh, and can be quite talkative once I'm comfortable with someone. I enjoy competitive games, but I also like just messing around and having fun.
I'd consider myself someone who puts genuine effort into friendships. If we get along, I'll absolutely message you, invite you to games, ask how you're doing, and make time to hang out.
I don't expect a friendship to develop overnight. Obviously, we need to see whether we click first, and that's completely fine.
One last thing
Please, if you're someone who frequently disappears, never responds, is never available, or has absolutely no intention of reaching out yourself, I'd genuinely rather you didn't message me.
I don't say that to be rude. I've just had so many experiences like that already, and I'm exhausted from repeatedly getting my hopes up.
I'd rather have one genuinely good friend who actually wants to spend time with me than 50 people sitting silently on my Discord friends list.
I'm not expecting someone perfect. I don't need someone who shares every interest, plays every game, or always has something interesting to say.
I just want someone who enjoys my company as much as I enjoy theirs. Someone who actually wants to build a friendship and is willing to put in a little effort to make that happen.
If you've been feeling the same way, maybe we'll get along.
Feel free to DM me! Tell me a little about yourself, your age, timezone, what you play, and what you're looking for in a friendship. I'd love to hear from you.
Thanks for reading all of this. Hopefully there's someone out there looking for the same thing :)