i wrote this on my FB for context im a disability advocate in my community and am in a wheelchair.

my birthdays are almost always a sore spot due to a LONG history of trauma

I even took my birthday money and bought something for my wife instead. I tried to find something for me but everytime I went into a store, i left and actually went to the local mall foodcourt and quietly cried.

I’ve spent hours crying in the middle of the night for the last few days.

I am desperately trying to be functional but even simple tasks are hard. i’m a front and public facing job and its getting increasingly harder to hold myself together.

i’m also bipolar so there’s that but anyway….

I think I’ve figured out, at least partially, why I’m so sad today.

I don’t see possibility much anymore.

It’s hard to accept that I don’t see wonder in my future the way I once did.

I endure. I adapt. I fight. And too often, survival itself is the reward.

I’ve spoken with my therapist, and something that came out of that conversation has stayed with me:

“You deserve more than a life you can withstand. You deserve a life you sometimes cannot wait to experience.”

That hit harder than I expected.

Will expressing any of this change things?

Likely not.

Tomorrow, I’ll get up and go back to doing what I do. I’ll adapt, endure, and keep fighting for the things I believe matter.

But today, (yesterday)on my 45th birthday, I find myself mourning the sense of wonder and possibility I once had.

I fight for a better tomorrow for everyone. I believe in that fight, and I always will.

I just wish I could still see that better tomorrow for myself.

Maybe someday I will.

For now, I keep going.

Not because the fight is easy, or because the sacrifices don’t hurt, but because I still believe the world can be better than it is.

I just wish, every once in a while, I could feel like I belonged in that better world, too.

I (f24) feel so stupid for posting but honestly I just feel like giving up lately and I have nobody to talk to. My girlfriend of 4 years left me and is already moved on (with a man after she pleaded she’s a lesbian). My 2 “best friends” of 10 years have completely cut me off and I have no idea why.

I feel like a literal piece of garbage. I hate being home but I hate being out. Im overthinking everything over the past few years and trying to figure out what I did that was so wrong for everyone to leave. The moment I wake up I panic, I cry all day and therapy doesn’t help.

We got a dog together that I kept and she hasn’t even asked about her. The guilt that comes with this part specifically is insane.

I must be the worst person in the world because nobody deserves this type of pain. I’m struggling so much I’m exhausted, every night I beg that I don’t wake up the next day.

I don’t even know what the point of doing this is but here I am I guess.

I’m feeling a little alone in my addiction and don’t have many people to talk to who I feel understand. Is anyone around who is just interested in some casual chat right now?

i guess i had enough with everything, i can't talk to people without acting weird, i can't chase my dreams cause i can't even get a simple job, i went to 8 interviews, and failed with them....

and also, i have Autism, kinda a good but also a bad thing with everyone, i swear i'm a normal guy but everyone acting like i'm an Alien thing or something else, i can't understand people cause they can't even understand me.

i always helping people with their problems, but now i even got enough with that, i need help...

I like being around someone who is fun to talk to and someone who is lil clingy, and likes to disturb

I don’t mind talking about anything, yapping, venting, confession or whatever.

I’m a techie guy working in IT, I’m 27 if that matters

I been triggered by a TV series I was watching, then I argued with my boyfriend, and my parents were later screaming each other very badly...

I am sleepy, and I am afraid to fall asleep because I always have nightmares...

Please post some comfort messages here (not in DM, please).

(F 35)

Found out by talking to one of my friends that I was being abused in my relationship and ever since I’ve been so upset and not being able to sleep and binge eating

I don't know what's happening in my life anymore. I feel lost and confused. I don't know what to do or whom to talk to. I just wanted to share how I'm feeling and know if anyone else has ever felt this way.

Hey I need someone to talk to anyone available?

I'm offering to write a thoughtful, personal letter to anyone who's feeling stuck, comparing themselves to others, or quietly exhausted from trying to keep up. Comment or send me a chat with what's been weighing on you (as much or as little as you want, a throwaway is fine). I'll read it carefully and write back a letter that's just for you, usually within a day. No advice-dumping, no labels, no judgment, and it's free. I'm not a therapist and this isn't therapy, just one person really listening. If you're in danger right now, please reach out to someone near you or a local crisis line first. (English or Chinese both welcome.)

I’m getting worked up. If this isn’t allowed here, please let me know and redirect me, if possible.

I’m back and forth between stress about an essay rough draft that’s due tonight for my college composition class, and nerve-wracked by midterm politics in my state, which is actually what I’m writing about for my essay.

I wanted to get this done tonight, but not only was I anxious of my time limit, but also emotionally worked up with my chosen topic. My professor has been really understanding with me, thankfully, so I’m not worried about their reaction to a missing rough draft. But I’m frustrated with myself. My schedule, my energy levels, I’m losing confidence in this week. And I’m scared of midterm results that are largely out of my own individual control.

I need to calm down. I’d appreciate someone lending me a shoulder for that.

[26M]

​

It doesn't matter if it is something trivial or heavy, whether you wanna share your favorite song or tell about what's been bothering you, I'm here. You can reach out!

(Please just.. comment here bc I dont do well with dms 😕)

Im 19f I'm jn therapy but I've been going through shit. Obsessive spirals, anxiety, loneliness and whatnot. Also developmental trauma from emotionally immature parents.

I thought I was doing a good job and yet today I broke down. The worst part is that my period is coming up and I HATE blaming things on my hormones, bc then it means they don't matter, and that I just had a pointless breakdown because I'm abt to start bleeding? That's dehumanizing

I was having dinner and I was supposed to put olive oil on my bread, but I spilled a bunch of it on the tablecloth. Technically no one was overreacting at that moment, but the mistakes i make usually make my parents roll their eyes or sigh and ask how I even ended up doing that.

A few seconds went by and I tried keeping it together. But then I just stood up and decided to go cry in my room. JUST because I'd spilled oil on the table.. not to mention, if it had been water, I would've been fine. What do I do with myself? This is ridiculous

My eyes burn from crying. This triggered another obsessive spiral and now I feel like I just don't want to be alive anymore. Why am I even trying? I hope I dont make it to 20 if this is how I'm going to feel forever. Especially because as I try to fix myself with therapy, I will have no one to count on because I'm lonely

Objectively i think life is pointless and humiliating. But at the same time maybe that's a slightly ego-dystonic thought even for me. See, here's proof that I'm fucking insane and that even my brain isn't reliable

Hi everyone!

My name is Bailey, and I’m currently completing my Master’s in Counselling. Through Coastal Roots Counselling, I’m offering free online counselling sessions to individuals who could use some extra support.

Life can feel overwhelming sometimes, whether you're navigating anxiety, stress, relationship challenges, life transitions, or simply feeling stuck and needing someone to talk to.

My goal is to provide a warm, supportive, and non-judgmental space where you can feel heard and explore what’s coming up for you.

🌿 Sessions are offered online and are free of charge. I practise under clinical supervision as part of my counselling training.

If you’re interested in learning more or booking a session, you can visit my website: 

coastalrootscounselling.com

Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions. 💚

Bailey | Coastal Roots Counselling

Hello everyone, hit me up if anyone wants to chat about literally anything, rant or vent about anything, feel free to do so, no judgement.

No restriction on age

I’m tired, exhausted and bored, could use some company, talk and feel better. I’m a techie guy working in IT

Context:

I'm a 3rd year engineering undergrad, from a tier 1 college

Grades - till now, decent, but this semester is going too shityyy

So what has happened now is that I've started daydreaming a lot, I don't know from this feeling that I'm "doing good too good in life" came, and I've started to feel "I'll do something big" and I'm somewhat too "great" and everythings gonna eventually work out in favour of me(lol), but yeah, ig it came from all that "motivational porn" on insta.

So the problem is that my whole days are just gone away in this, I'm not really not doing anything productive- I really wanna do, but I don't know why I'm not doing

I really wanna do something actually good and earn and be successful, but I'm just wasting away my life daydreaming, how do I actually save this time.

So how do I really get out of this loop, how do I actually get reality check on my life, and how do I actually start doing anything in life.

Pls help me out.

femboy looking for someone fem to sleep call with, you don’t need to stay all night I just feel extremely anxious and I’d rather have someone fem with me, thankyou

I am alone at the hospital and recently I spent my birthday alone.

I just want to talk to someone.

I used to have this person, who was a girl, and she was very important to me. We would message everyday, whenever we could and we were each other’s emotional support without realizing it. Someone who is always there and you can share anything with. If anyone understands and feels the same way, please DM me.

If anyone needs someone to talk to and don’t have anyone, I’ll chat with you. 30M

Discord = neo_phyxius

recently had an argument with one of the closest people i've ever had in my life, we're not talking anymore, it's been a few weeks, i'm 100% sure it's actually over between us, can't get over it, i'm physically ill from it. i didn't have any goals before this relationship, i went back to ground 0 when it ended, i feel like i'm making the situation worse than it actually is, i'm searching for someone willing to hear how the story went and give me an honest opinion and maybe some advice

Trigger warning: Traumatic events, self harm, suicide, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, animals

I need to talk get this out. I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from this. I think I'm just tired of keeping everything to myself.

My childhood was relatively happy until I was three. Then my parents started fighting, a neighbour sexually molested me, and my mother spent years telling me she would shoot me first. She died by suicide when I was six. My father died when I was ten. My stepmother beat me badly, I spent time in an orphanage, and I eventually lived with my grandmother.

I was the fat girl with glasses who had very few friends, and I spent much of my childhood feeling like I didn't belong anywhere. At twelve, I attempted suicide. I've had other attempts since.

At seventeen, I was adopted by my mother's sister. It wasn't because someone chose me or desperately wanted me in their family. It was an obligation. I wasn't chosen. I was a problem to be solved.

I think I've spent much of my life trying to prove that I'm worth keeping around.

I've experienced abuse, sexual assault, relationships where I've been used, and the financial consequences of someone else's choices. I've worked hard to build a life for myself, but I still struggle with debt, loneliness, and feeling like I'm never quite enough for the people around me.

I have CPTSD and ADHD, and recognise some autistic traits in myself. I'm still figuring out how these affect me, but I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, and exhausted by things other people seem to navigate more easily.

Eventually, I moved to another continent and built a life from scratch.

People don't always understand how hard it is to live abroad without family you can rely on. You have to build your own support system, your own sense of home, your own friendships. And then people leave. They move away, relationships end, and friendships fade. You find yourself starting over again, trying to build connections while carrying everything else in your life.

I don't have family nearby to fall back on when things go wrong. I don't have a dependable safety net. I've had to figure out so much by myself for so long that I barely know how to ask for help anymore.

And then there are the cats.

I've spent years rescuing abandoned, sick, injured, and traumatised cats. Hundreds of them. I've given so much of my life to animals who needed someone to care enough to help them.

I love them. They're not a hobby I can put aside when life gets difficult. They're lives I've taken responsibility for, and they depend on me for food, medical care, safety, and everything else they need.

But rescue is emotionally and financially exhausting. There are always bills, medical emergencies, food to buy, and difficult decisions to make. I worry about the ones who are sick, the ones I can't afford to help, and the ones I can't save. I've also had to grieve animals I've loved deeply while continuing to care for the ones still depending on me.

You don't get to stop grieving because there are other mouths to feed.

You still have to get up. You still have to work. You still have to find the money and make sure everyone is okay.

I don't regret rescuing them. I just wish the person doing all that caring had someone looking after her, too.

I'm a teacher. I'm responsible for my work, my bills, my debt, and so many other things. I feel like a workhorse at work and, in some relationships, little more than a body someone can use.

I'm tired of being useful but not feeling valued. I'm tired of being needed but not feeling wanted.

When I tell people they've hurt me, I often end up defending my reaction instead of having the hurt acknowledged. I know I'm not perfect. I know I have my own issues. But I'm tired of feeling like I have to justify every emotion before I'm allowed to be upset.

I want friendships that last. I want people who think of me when they don't need anything. I want to be able to ask for help without feeling like a burden. I want to be loved without having to earn it by being useful, accommodating, or strong.

I'm tired of starting over. Tired of rebuilding my life and my connections while trying to keep everything else afloat. Tired of carrying the effects of my childhood into adulthood while dealing with new problems that never seem to stop coming.

And honestly, I'm tired of life the way I'm currently living it.

But I don't want to die. I want to live.

I want to wake up without immediately feeling the weight of everything I have to do and pay for. I want to have people in my life who genuinely care about me. I want to enjoy my cats without constantly worrying about whether I can afford everything they need. I want to have something to look forward to that isn't another responsibility.

I want to experience what it's like to be supported instead of always being the person who has to manage everything.

I know life isn't perfect. I know nobody gets through it without pain. I'm not expecting someone to fix my past or make every problem disappear.

I just want a chance to actually enjoy being alive.

Right now, I feel like I'm existing to work, pay bills, care for everyone else, deal with whatever goes wrong, and then get up and do it all again.

There is so little room for joy, rest, friendship, or simply being a person who doesn't have to be responsible for something every minute of the day.

And it's wearing me down.

I have so much depending on me, but I don't know how much longer I can keep living like this without something changing. I'm scared of reaching a point where I have nothing left to give.

I don't want another person telling me how strong I am. I don't want to hear that everything I've been through made me who I am.

I want help before I break. I want support before everything falls apart. I want to build a life that is sustainable, not just keep pushing myself until I can't anymore.

I want to feel wanted, not just needed. I want to feel like I belong somewhere. I want to know that I matter even when I have nothing to give.

I've spent most of my life surviving things I never should have had to survive. I'm still trying. I'm still working. I'm still caring for the animals who depend on me.

But I need things to change, because I cannot keep giving everything I have to everyone else while having so little left for myself.

I don't know exactly what I'm asking for by posting this. Maybe someone understands. Maybe someone has been here and found a way forward.

I don't need anyone to fix my life.

I just need someone to understand that I'm trying so hard to build a life I actually want to live, and I'm exhausted from trying to do it all alone.

I don't want to give up on life. I want my life to become something I don't constantly need to survive.

I'm struggling with something that might seem small to other people, but it's been weighing on me.

When I gave birth to my daughter, I didn't get any pictures of myself with her in the hospital. I had wanted those pictures before giving birth, but when everything was happening, I didn't have the presence of mind to ask anyone to take them.

My parents were there with me, but they didn't think to ask either, and her dad wasn't there to ask for me. I'm not saying this to blame any of them. I know nobody deliberately set out to make sure I didn't have those pictures. I'm sad because I forgot to ask for something that mattered so much to me, and nobody remembered it for me.

I can't go back and recreate those first moments with my newborn daughter. I wish I had pictures of myself holding her during that time, something I could look back on and eventually share with her as she grows up.

I think what hurts is knowing that I can't get that time back. I keep wishing I'd remembered to ask, and I'm having a hard time accepting that I missed out on something I wanted so much.

I'm not looking for anyone to blame or for people to tell me what I should have done differently. I just need a little kindness and reassurance from someone who understands how painful it can be to miss out on a memory you can never recreate.

Reposting this one last time because I didn't really get much replied at all last time. I guess this is a little bit niche.

I am on the spectrum but mildly so. Being exactly at the edge of being able to do normal work/study meant I've always been pushing it to my limit to be able to make it work. This gave me nice gifts like anxiety issues and IBS to name a few. Those then became its own problem.

Unfortunately the limit was truly reached a year ago. Burnout, realizing my partner wasn't right for me.. So now everything I've built on a shaky foundation is falling apart. Relationship over, work on the verge of ending because of long sick leave. The house going to be sold in a year because of the breakup.

It's like I'm completely reset back to my twenties and it's incredibly painful.. and also just so much that people who didn't live this do not really understand. They mostly get shocked which makes it even more lonely right now.

I think the thing that hurts the most is that I've been the friend and partner that had everyone come to him to cry in the past. But after the last few years i've become more isolated because my old friends didn't really go deep enough for the issues I was carrying...so I am now crying alone...

I don't really know what I want. I guess I want to feel less alone. I don't need anyone to really tell me it's going to be okay. Honestly I'm not even sure if and when its going to be okay. But if you are in a similar position, please reach out to me.