I adopted my sweet Penny (14, female) over 7 years ago. This past year has been tough. We lost her brothers and gained a new sister. Penny had a neck injury that caused paralysis in her back legs and bladder.
We did accupuncture biweekly, did strength exercises and targeted massages, changed our diet and even got a wheelchair to assist, things were actually looking up.
Unfortunately, I came back from a short vacation and she had a tooth root abscess. She was handling the antibiotics well and I dropped her off yesterday morning for her cleaning and extraction. At noon I got the call that she didn’t make it out of recovery.
Her pre-bloodwork was perfect and she did great during the surgery. But her heart gave out in recovery and she did not make it. They said they did everything they could.
I didn’t get to say goodbye. 7 years of love and adventure and her being there for me and I couldn’t be there for her. I feel so broken. I feel like I betrayed my best friend in her final moments. She meant everything to me and I failed her.
I’ve lost 4 babies in the past 15 months. I work full-time in animal protection, I know I’m not a terrible person. But why? Why my babies?? I feel like someone put a curse on me. I also can’t help but be mad at the vet. I’ve lost two dogs there in just a few months..idk it’s probably just the emotions and needing to place anger somewhere.
Penny, I’m so sorry mama. I love you and will honor you through compassion and love for the rest of my life 💔
EDIT OF THANKS: To everyone who commented such beautiful, kind words, you have no idea how much this is helping me during these early days of grief. Thank you all so much. Penny was so loved and always will be. She gave me purpose for so long and comforted me through all the hard times. She taught me what love and patience means. I will continue to rescue babies, when I’m ready, but to have the love and support from this community of hound lovers is truly healing right now ❤️🩹 thank you all.