Hypothetically, if three people needed them in less than 24 hours, where would one find these boots?

Hypothetically of course.

With Halloween approaching, I thought Lower Duck Pond could use a little graveyard humor.

We're holding a contest for the funniest, strangest, or most outrageous epitaph you'd like engraved on a tombstone.

You can write your own, invent one for a fictional person or pet, or commemorate someone whose departure was perhaps long overdue.

Creativity and a wicked sense of humor are encouraged.

Perhaps we can persuade Mayor Dracula Jones to judge the entries.

Post your epitaphs in the comments. May the best dearly departed win! 💀🎃