So I'm 23M in a small coastal town in Australia. I've come out to my family and close friends. This is where I need help, I don't know how to feel about my relationship with my dad. Before I came out he occasionally asked "Do you have a girlfriend?", mainly when I was in school, and I'd say "no" then he'd say something like "you're not gay are you?" or "What about a boyfriend?" and I'd say "no, of course not" then he'd say "that's the right answer". I said that cause back then he'd say things like "I treat gay people the same way I'd treat someone with special needs" or just whenever it came on the news he'd like, be disgusted. But since I've come out, I asked him about what he's said and his response was something like "I can't change the way I feel about that but nothing will ever take away the love I have for you". I've also asked "if I did get a boyfriend would you want to meet him?" And he said yes. I don't live with him, I live with my mum atm but he's in the same town. I just feel meh about him and don't see him much, maybe once a month at the most cause I just can't be ok after so many years of him saying it's wrong and feeling disgusted about it and saying people like that are deluded. I just don't know how I should feel about it :/.

7 years ago, I met someone. He was from another city so it wouldn’t have worked well because I was 22 and didn’t want to be in a long-distance relationship, so we tried to be friends, but we never could be just friends.

He stayed in my city for a couple months and I hung out with him, and kissed him, and hugged him and had a little summer relationship type thing but knowing we were more friends with benefits than anything else because he was gonna go away. But deep inside, I liked him a lot, but I wanted to spare myself the heartbreak.

He left, and came back one for a concert or something, and I stayed with him at his Airbnb and… we talked. We laid on his bed and talked and talked and talked for hours before finally doing more sexual things, but for most of it, we were both happy just existing next to each other.

There was also this one time we went to a club with some friends of mine. We tried really hard to be just friends, but we couldn’t keep off each other. We ended up making out and hugging and dancing together and the whole thing.

He left and some time later he moved to my city. I was so happy, but something had happened in the meantime. Because I was still living with my parents and all, some issues came up and I was suddenly in a very controlling environment where I couldn’t freely date whoever I wanted. Still, I went to see him.

We spent the night together. He had just moved to his apartment so we slept almost on the floor but I didn’t mind. As long as I was with him, you know? The next day came and we had a date at his place, and we ate good food and watched something on his computer while sitting on the floor and we held hands and… despite this being 7 years ago I still remember it like it was yesterday, but in the end… I felt myself falling for him. I had been falling for him all this time, but I knew it wasn’t gonna work at that time. I knew it would end with the both of us broken and hurt… so I chose to end it before it began. I tried to be friends with him but seeing pictures of him hurt me so bad so I ended up blocking him and wishing him well.

We both went on with our lives and my situation changed and suddenly, I get his account recommended on a new profile I made, and all the memories came rushing back. In these 7 years, I never stopped thinking about him entirely, so I followed him and we got to talking and… he’s been in a relationship for the last 5 years…

I’m… somewhat devastated. It feels like the cruelest joke in the world… it felt for a moment like there could’ve been something. A second chance to live what I wasn’t allowed to in the past, but… no. Idk if I sound insane but… I cried a lot when he told me he was in a relationship. We talked for a while and… he said he also still felt things for me but he’s with his BF now. I said I would like to try and be his friend so that’s what we’ve been for the last couple days.

I’m supposed to go meet him on Friday, to catch up I guess… but the truth is that I’m… I’m not sure if I should. It hurts you know? And I would like to be his friend, sure, but I don’t know if I can, because… he’s got something over me, idk what it is, but every time I was near him, it was like magnetism, I just couldn’t help myself, and neither could he… and idk if there’s a part of him that agreed to see me because he’s wondering if that attraction is still there, but… I don’t want to be a home wrecker either.

I want him… I want him so bad, you’ve got no idea, but I know what it’s like to be cheated on… and… I think of the outcomes and they all seem bad. Someone ends up hurt in all scenarios. Him, me, his now-bf.

A part of me feels like the two possible outcomes for Friday is that I go, talk about things, and get told he’s not gonna break up and we should just be friends and I’ll just cry my eyes out, and the other is that he does still feel something and I wreck this thing he has been having for 5 years.

I feel like I’m going into something way too complicated and like I should just… stay away… but he’s the one that got away and he told me he still has some feelings for me… so my dumb heart has hope, but I feel like I shouldn’t. Like I should destroy this hope and run for the hills and just say “it wasn’t meant to be”.

Idk what I’ll do, but I have a hole in my chest and I feel like shit. I missed him so much, and he’s finally back and… he loves someone else… I want to sleep and not wake up for days. I feel like shit, and idk why, but I can’t even cry right now. I just feel like crap and hoped that writing this would help… but idk that it is.

If anyone has some kind words for me, I would really appreciate them.

Hi everyone,

I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hypermobile type) and IBS.

Sexual health clinics (Brook and Umbrella) tested me — no infections — and sent me back to the GP.

The GP arranged a camera investigation (anoscopy). They said there are no piles/haemorrhoids and nothing structurally wrong that they could see.

Bowel movements are generally normal.

I’m a 25-year-old South Asian gay guy from the Birmingham area (about 6ft / 180cm, around 90–95kg). I’ve been vers for years and used to bottom regularly without major problems.  Topping is okayish for me ,  I can get hard and enjoy it when the attraction is there. Well kind off i did top a sikh married overweight 50 year old where his shit came onto my dick its also made me feel disgusted when he said he was married and had children which i noticed on his pillow the picture. He was really ugly and me being a tall jock type i feel like lost my value.

Anyways The issue is specifically with bottoming. It feels like I’ve lost that side of my verseness and it’s really affecting my mental health and relationships. It after this yemeni guy topped me before that all sprts of guys have topped me ive been good.

What’s happening now:

When someone tried to penetrate me, even just pressing the tip against the entrance, I got sharp, intense pain and had to stop.

I also get a burning sensation with fingering or sometimes when wiping.

The severe pain disappears afterwards and there’s no bleeding.

This has been going on for a while and is stopping me from bottoming even when I want to.

Background that might be relevant:

I used to bottom comfortably for a couple of years. Then there was an experience with a Yemeni guy that changed things. We were having sex and partway through I started getting a strong burning sensation. It got bad enough that I had to stop, get up and go to the toilet. When I came back the burning was still there. He carried on and eventually came inside me. After he finished I was able to relax, but during the sex he kept talking about how I should get married to a woman, saying things like “who’s going to take care of your parents” and pushing straight marriage. Which made me feel guily honestly ive accepted myself being gay and thats enough. He said dont listen to these guys gay relationships never work, u need a woman men dont care abiut u . Both of us get married we can do this discreetly always. U need children to help u. And The combination of the physical burning and the shaming talk left me feeling tense and heavy about bottoming afterwards.

Some time after that, I was at a sauna in Manchester (in the basement). I ended up being a submissive top. The guy bottoming was very active and took control  he was riding me, directing things, and it was a strong, intense experience. I enjoyed it a lot and it showed me I could still feel really turned on and connected in a topping role, especially when the other person was dominant. It made me realise how sensitive and responsive I can be to the right energy.

Later, at a Birmingham sauna, a Pakistani guy tried to put it in. His dick wasn’t extremely thick, but the moment he pushed the tip against me it hurt so sharply I had to stop completely. Same intense pain/burning feeling. Thats was the first bottom after the yemeni guy before the yemeni guy ive always been fine. Im trying to stop spicy food completely the indian diet but its still there the burning sensation.

I recently went to Morocco and there were a lot of very hot, masculine tops around. I could easily have bottomed, but I held back every time because I was scared the pain would start again. Watching those opportunities pass made me feel frustrated and low.

I also have a long history of porn use (including more intense/dominant content at times). I’m wondering if that’s contributed to the disconnect or how my body reacts now. But ive bottommed even when watching porn before.

What I’m looking for:

Has anyone with EDS and/or IBS experienced this kind of sudden “even the tip hurts” pain that then goes away?

Advice on properly relaxing the sphincter and pelvic floor muscles (I think they might be spasming or guarding).

Things that have helped when cameras/scopes showed nothing structural.

Whether this can be linked to nerve sensitisation or the body still protecting itself after the Yemeni experience and the painful sauna attempt.

Practical ways to gradually get back to comfortable bottoming, or whether I should push for pelvic floor physiotherapy.

I’m tired of being stuck in this place. I want to be able to bottom again when I want to, without the fear and sharp pain. Any advice from people who’ve dealt with something similar would mean a lot.

Thanks for reading.

I had a work friendship with a gay guy who never went to college floated through life at retail jobs and then found his partner who has a nice job through graduating college and they are happy in another part of the world. His advice to me was never settle.

Then I’ve watched several gay creators specifically talking about lowering their standards to date people. They say “your type is why you’re single” as well as “every box cannot be checked” which is logical to me.

However I’m just curious what actually works (besides CBT because I’m working on myself with a therapist right now).

Like I am confused. What I’m trying to ask is if I should never settle or if I should find someone to settle with? (Because like this sub said a verse dating a top exclusively would not be happy dating that top so settling in that way wouldn’t be possible)

Also how would I settle in a way that makes me comfortable because there are always things I can overlook and then the things that I absolutely cannot?

Settling just seems hard to me because the idea that living with someone I don’t fully agree with on things seems challenging and I know compromise is important but does this mean I only pick a few things that are musts and the rest is optional or not?

I guess I’m just asking what the right answer is because the don’t settle and settle crowds are such a dichotomous flabbergasting that confuses me so much like what is the right answer in these opposing sides?

Hi Reddit, I (25 M) was in a relationship with a man for 2.5 years that ended last year. He left me and started dating his best friend immediately after our relationship ended, they are still together. I can’t get over it no matter how hard I try and I am so so sad. I feel inadequate compared to him because he is more successful than me. I feel completely violated that my ex basically emotionally cheated on me for the latter half of our relationship. I feel crazy because he told me there was nothing going on between them, and I feel sad because I miss him. I try to date but nothing feels the same. I just don’t feel the “spark” that I felt with him. I miss him but I’m so upset and hurt by his actions, and by the fact that he basically just ghosted me and moved on to this guy. I understand I wasn’t the perfect boyfriend but I tried. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore and it makes it so hard to keep up with my daily life even though I have a therapist. I want to move on but it is really really hard. I just don’t know what to do and I guess I’m wondering if anyone has ever overcome something similar?

He was my first love and this just hurts so much even after making so many positive changes and improvements in my life. I feel completely gutted still

So the Dutch prime minister (who is gay if you don't know) decided with his partner to have a baby through surrogacy with the help of a friend, and people got mad.

It's striking to see many people from the so-called super "gay friendly" countries like Spain or the Netherlands saying the nastiest things you can ever imagine.

People are like " they're buying babies", "I have nothing against gay people, but no children should be involved", "it's ok to be gay, but forget about children", "the child would be deprived of his mother love" and many other things that dehumanize gay people's desire to be fathers and to have normal families.

While this has already happened before with actors like Neil Patrick Harris, this is the first time it makes big news as it involves a head of state.

But the reactions are very telling about the acceptance you think you have, it turned out that many people accept gay men as "you do you" but not as normal people who can be good and caring parents.

While I do realize that some gays may not want to be parents or even be in a monogamous relationships, there are so many who would like to have this, and I am one of them, I wish I can get back home to find my partner / husband, as well as my biological kids, who are just like me, because they're actually my children,why is that too much to ask?

I am not even sure anymore how do "tolerant" straight people see us, but it felt so bad reading these reactions, especially when they came from the most supposedly tolerant countries.

What do you think?

I’m 62 and having trouble finding someone for some fun. I live in a big city—Birmingham. I’ve met up with a few guys, but only once each; they don’t want to meet again. I’m a bottom, and apparently, I’m also pretty good at giving blowjobs.

EDIT: I appreciate the genuine responses and words. I've posted elsewhere and the majority of people are focusing on the age difference, which I know is a large part of it. Having the shared old-school "make it work" kind of mindset is undoubtedly why I stayed as long as I did. The present age gap doesn't mean I'm struggling any less with everything.

Last night, I left my boyfriend of over a year. I was one of many for the longest time and I just can't do it anymore.

To preface, it was definitely strange meeting. At the time that we met, I was in a failing complicated situationship as was he.We started seeing each other more after a bit but still both were chatting with other people. Once we started officially dating, I still knew he was chatting with others. I didn't expect him to be on the same timeframe as me so I ignored it for awhile.

But after a few months of being together, it seemed like a good a time as any to chat about it and set boundaries. Around the same time, I came across some of his kink and fetish gear in his home, I intend to disturb or find it but I wanted to bring it up nonetheless because there were times I look back and could tell he was hiding things from me and I didn't want him to feel afraid around me knowing. I communicated to him that something open wasn't what I wanted and didn't want to be a part of it but I was more than open to chat about and learn about kink and fetish with him. I also joined some kink/furry/pup/gainer chats and ask questions online just to communicate with others since I really had no idea about kink/fetish/etc. since he didn't really want to talk about it.

A few months later, out of the corner of my eye, I still saw him continuing to sext others. I broke a rule, went through his phone when he wasn't looking, and saw that he indeed was still messaging others. I also noticed he was claiming to still be single months after we officially started dating. I brought it up to him that it was overall disrespectful to everyone involved. Disrespectful to me after I said that it wasn't what I wasn't comfortable with being open, as well as denying my existence, and disrespectful to others in deceiving them, claiming to be single when not.

More months pass and small bits happen again. Again, I go through his phone and the same is still happening, never stopping despite promises otherwise. I get incredibly angry this time and drink too much and scream at him, if it wasn't clear before, I'm sure it would be now. It still goes on so I throw myself into work, I start doing other things just to take my mind off it. I started learning Japanese just because. But it's wearing thin. I went through his phone again when I noticed more and, surprise, it's still happening. I'm just broken at this point, the past few days I didn't want to look or speak to him, just claiming everything was okay when asked, when it very much wasn't.

I couldn't sleep last night and went to bed late but as soon as I got into bed, something just clicked and I started sobbing. I'm surprised I didn't wake him between that and shortly after packing up to get out of there. I did wake him at the end in grabbing his phone, throwing it into the backyard, and taking off. I'm now currently at my mother's home, most likely going to move back in. He texted me this morning about arranging to get the rest of my stuff in a few days. He told me at some point that he called police, I don’t know if I was there for the call and don't know if they showed after, I was gone. They might reach out to me.

It's all still fresh and I don't think I completely understand everything but I think I need something to hope for and cling to. Any advice/words of wisdom/anything regarding the situation or what to do from here would be much appreciated, thank you in advance

Hi,

ich brauche Tipps, um schneller zum Abspritzen zu kommen.

Ich weiß, eigentlich ist es andersrum, aber ich möchte viel schneller kommen, denn leider kann ich echt lange.

Danke im Voraus für Eure Hilfe.

Bye

Sorry just in a confusding situation, would you have been emotionally invested? Like would you have cried if love didnt reciprocate? And did it feel natural or forced, like did you find yourself developing crushes accidentally or did you force them?

I just got to know I have been getting attracted by the just older men ..

Is it normal?

Or maybe it is the because of past trauma !?

Well confused

Hi I wanted some older advice since you guys may have more experience

So for context we are both males and I’m bi. I moved to a new school and he is my upperclassman. No one besides 3 other ppl know that I am bi at this school.

I joined my schools marching band and he was one of the people in my section. So at first he tried talking to me a lot like just asking about what school I came from, my grade, my age, and just some basic stuff. After he stared at me during rehearsals and we would just stare at each other just locking eyes. Also, both of our 7th periods are in the same building so we would look for each other then locking eyes before we went to our 8th period. Recently he stopped looking at me but will still strike a convo sometimes. He also asked if I was going to HOCO and my relationship status.

So do you guys think he is straight and if he likes me.

​

Eu sou o Rodrigo e queria saber seu tem algum homem de são Paulo ou região que gosta de homem afeminado

I’m 20M, and my ex is also a guy around my age. We were together for almost two years, talking for longer, and I’m looking for an honest outside perspective on how everything ended and whether I’m reading too much into certain things afterward.
For context, we were in a long-distance relationship for part of our time together because he went to school in a different state. Despite the distance, this wasn’t just some online relationship. He would literally fly out to see me, and we had a real history together. He was a huge part of my life, and our relationship meant a lot to me. He was also the one to confess his feelings to me, and sought me out in the first place.
There’s also some additional context about him. He’s DL at school, and he’s now in a fraternity. I’m not saying that necessarily explains anything, but I sometimes wonder whether the way he navigates his sexuality and his life at school played any role in how he handled our relationship.
Here’s what happened.
At some point, I got suspicious and decided to make a fake Snapchat account and add him. He started texting the account and trying to hook up with it, not knowing it was me. Obviously, that was incredibly hurtful to discover after being together for almost three years.
I confronted him about it, and he apologized. He said there was no excuse for what he’d done and that he’d never wanted to hurt me. He seemed upset about the fact that he’d hurt me, but I was obviously devastated and had a lot of questions.
I kept asking him to call me so we could actually talk about everything, understand what had happened, and figure out where we stood. I wasn’t necessarily expecting everything to magically be fixed, but after nearly three years together, I thought I at least deserved an actual conversation.
He never called.
Eventually, he completely ghosted me without ever clearly telling me where we stood or giving me a proper ending to the relationship. There was no real final conversation, no working through what happened, and no clear acknowledgment of what our relationship meant after everything that had happened.
That is honestly the part I still struggle with the most. I can understand a relationship ending, even under terrible circumstances. What I have a harder time understanding is how someone can spend almost three years with you, make the effort to fly out to see you, build that kind of history, and then avoid one difficult conversation after hurting you.
After the breakup, we were still connected on social media and location sharing for a while. Around two months later, I eventually removed him because seeing him online and knowing I had no answers was making it harder for me to move on.
Something else I’ve noticed is that some of his friends still follow me on Instagram and view or interact with my posts. I actually met some of them in person when I visited him, so these aren’t necessarily random people. I don’t know whether they talk about me with him, whether they’re simply still interested in my life, or whether it means absolutely nothing.

It’s now been several months since the breakup, and I’m trying to move forward. I’m in college, and I want to meet other people and experience that part of my life. I don’t actually think I want to get back together with him at this point.
But he was the last person I was intimate with, and this was my first major relationship. Sometimes I still find myself wondering whether he thinks about me, whether he regrets how he handled things, and whether he ever reflects on what happened between us.
Part of me wants an apology that goes beyond the initial “I’m sorry” he gave me when I confronted him. I want him to acknowledge the way he handled the aftermath and the fact that he left me without a proper conversation after everything we’d shared.
At the same time, I’m aware that I might never get that apology, and I don’t want to put my life on hold waiting for him to give it to me.
**I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions, not reassurance that he’ll come back.**

For people who’ve been in similar situations, did your ex ever come back and acknowledge what happened? And if they never did, how did you stop caring whether they ever understood how much they hurt you?
I know I wasn’t perfect, either, and I understand that creating a fake account to test him wasn’t necessarily the healthiest way to handle my suspicions. But what I discovered was real, and I still believe that after almost three years together, I deserved honesty and a direct conversation.
I want to understand this situation from perspectives other than my own so I can stop trying to figure out what’s going on in his head and actually move forward.

Sorry that was super long

Hi all,

The prep I take is Teva Emtricitabine/Tenofovir Disoproxil. It’s in a blister pack.

I’ve been storing it in my nightstand since I got it. The weathers been cold here recently and I’m worried the indoor temperature might’ve been as low as 5 or 10 degrees at times.

The leaflet for my prep just says to keep it below 30 and it doesn’t give a minimum. But I see some websites online say it needs to be kept above 15 degrees.

Is mine ineffective? Do I need to find a new place to keep them or heat up my room?

I (21) started dating a guy (18) like 4 months ago. At least I thought we were dating because he made it very clear at the beginning he is searching for something serious. We met weekly for late night drives, lunch, going to the cinema, watching TV, cuddling and sex.

After around 4 weeks I brought flowers to his place because I thought things would get more serious and I wanted to show him I like him. His reaction was very weird and he didn't seem really happy. That's when I started to question our connection. I checked his dating profile which we matched on and found out that he is very active there. We met for a couple of times after that and it still felt very promising and like a deep connection. But than he messaged me less and less and started to tell me he is sick or doesn't have time to meet. After a couple of tries I stopped running after him.

Later I found out he dated a different guy at the same time.

This destroyed all the feelings I had at this time and it was the first time for me to be really in love with a guy.

So now I just can't get him out of my mind and it won't get better. I saw him at the club last weekend and after that I wrote him drunk that I miss him. He instantly replied that that's cute and I asked him if we could meet again. He said that he is very unsure about everything right now.

I then told him he needs to tell me if he is still interested or not because if not I want to move on. He hasn't replied to that.

I am really desperate and I don't know how to get over him. Had a hookup a couple of weeks later but it wasn't like it was with him and the only thing I can think of all the time was that I'll never meet a guy like him again.

I really don't know what to do and I'm really afraid I won't get over that. I feel so bad right now.

For context I don’t dislike people based on age. I sang Auroras Animal song and tried to replicate her voice while singing it. Waited a bit in the queue for my turn to do Karaoke and the guy that said this came down from the stage and told me this and I just said thank you before going on stage to sing another song. I just wanted to get out of my shell and challenge my social anxiety.

Why did he say this to me?

Just curious if there is a website/ app where we can share and view eachothers porn collections? For me, it's a big turn on knowing what turns another guy on! Thoughts and/or suggestions would be awesome!

30yo here, i was superficial in my younger years when dating, but then i just wanted to settle and find someone who is more settled too and who i thought would be less likely to have a wandering eye so i met an older normal and not the most attractive guy who’s still hung up on his ex.

I think this is the problem with the gays, we get cheated on and then never allow ourselves to fall for someone again and it’s just a never ending cycle.

Bless you all in faithful loving, relationships, don’t cheat please!

Now i’m just manifesting a tall, skinny, nerdy gay with a good heart that will treat me right.

Hey, so I would love some advice on dating apps. I'm new to the game and don't really want hookups. I want something where I actually get to know people and not their dicks. If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them. I'm 18 and don't want to date a 50-year-old guy. Please, I would love some help.

Women are pretty, but a nice beard, a hairy chest and a juicy cock make me go insane, pussy could never do that to me

​

So I live in Delhi, and behind my PG there’s a guy who irons clothes. He usually wears a black banyan, and honestly, he has really impressive biceps. He’s a little short, but he looks good and always has a smile on his face.

Yesterday, I gave him my pants to iron, and he told me to come back after 30 minutes. When I returned, I started talking to him and asked his name and whether he had a girlfriend. He said he had one before.

Then I showed him a random girl’s photo and asked if he would hook up with her. He said she would never come to him anyway.

I don’t know why, but I was really attracted to his arms. I touched his biceps and even squeezed them a little. They were sweaty, and I found that really attractive. He didn’t react much, so I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

After talking for a while, I asked him if he wanted to come to my room. At first, he seemed surprised and didn’t really believe I was serious. But after I told him that I liked him and found him attractive, he seemed more open to the idea.

Things got a little flirty, but he had another customer waiting, so I left.

Now I’m thinking of going back tomorrow, and I honestly don’t know what to do. I find him really attractive, especially his arms and his smile.

Guys, what do you think? How should I approach him tomorrow, and how can I find out if he’s actually interested in me too?

I don’t want to fuck you.

Leave me alone