Hi! I've just started my first year working towards a degree in Film Production at my university (A broad university, not one which specializes solely on film). But about a month into semester, I keep having this feeling that I don't really belong? It's not like any students or professors are bullying me; I love it on campus. But rather, I feel like compared to them I'm not as passionate when it comes to either making films, wanting to make films, or most importantly, watching films. I don't go to the theatre that often, mainly because of gas, prices, scheduling, etc. But I also don't really put aside much time to watch movies at home on streaming.
In my current film class it's a lot of going over film techniques and everything which goes into a film, and then watching a film which covers a certain aspect quite well. This in itself is fine, and I kinda enjoy it. But the thing which keeps making me doubt my interest is when it comes to whether or not we've already seen a film. For example, my professor earlier today was going over design; set props, makeup, etc. One of the examples was one of the Batman movies (I don't know which one) and he made a passing comment of "Everyone's seen this movie, right?". It definitely wasn't meant to be a negative comment towards anyone, but I still felt mildly embarrassed about it.
I know watching films isn't the most important part of being a filmmaker and film enthusiast, but it's still given me a sort of imposter syndrome when it comes to the rest of film making as well. Next semester I believe will be the first hands on class I'll have and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely anxious about it. I'm worried not only about not being able to understand equipment, but also, once again, the social aspect. It's been told to us many times now, but reaching out and befriending other students in similar areas can help, especially when we'll have to inevitably need someone to play a part in making a film. My problem however is that I'm extremely anxious. It took me almost a month into the semester before I introduced myself to other people at the university. Even if I manage to befriend someone who would want to help me with my films, I'm very anxious when it comes to sharing my ideas and explaining my passions to other people who I think will judge me.
I know these fears are probably a bit ridiculous and I'll hopefully get comfortable in my program, but IDK. I wanted to make a reddit post to maybe see if someone else can just reassure me or tell me "I've been in a similar position, and you'll be alright". Sorry for the ramble, it's a bit of an interesting first post to this subreddit lol