Recently, while i was a call with a friend, i received a message from a person that used to follow me get mad about being unfollowed. They called me insulting names and it baffled me. I tried to visit their account profile but it was locked and unfamiliar, so i thought it was okay to unfollow them. It's just absurd to me that people would get mad about being unfollowed. Some of my friends helped me report the account and i just had a wake up call to this experience that i should just stay clear out of instagram in general. It's not just because of the experience alone, i have been on and off of this platform because i still wanted to connect with my friends. But to be honest, it's better that people will intentionally reach out than finding life updates about you from a screen (stories, posts, highlights). So, i deleted my accounts yesterday (October 17), and i dont feel like going back.

I just realised today that I am addicted to my phone. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like my main addiction is to my phone and then it is to my laptop but only when I am either watching slop or using AI to work on a personal project which is usually a distraction in itself. So much so that I see my deadline coming and still don’t move a muscle. I lie to everybody around me about the progress I am making on my tasks/work but I’m lying through the teeth. It’s not intentional, it’s just in that moment im procrastinating (because I label the task “easy”) or too stressed about the deadline (because now it’s too close for me to complete the task I labelled “easy”). This is now causing me a lot of stress and I know that the simple solution is to start working put down my phone or my laptop and lock-in but I’m just not able to do this.

I currently live far away from family, so I have nobody to rely on to help me through this. This has basically wasted two years of my life. Started very casually but today was the first day I realised that I’m actually an addict like a proper proper addict. I used to think that this was all fake. I’ve tried using apps like one sec and Safari in place of apps, but it never helps eventually I end up disabling or deleting the chokepoint and go back to my old ways. I even tried waking up early that didn’t stick. I once read half of count of Monte Cristo in a day just to test myself but then went back to scrolling that very night.

My day starts with doom scrolling or another distracting activity that feels like it’s productive but it’s actually not. It’s just me procrastinating from my task and it ends the same way there are days when I don’t even get out of my bed and I’m just on my phone. This has also killed my sleep routine. I’m usually awake till 4 or 5 am and wake up after 10 am and the first thing I do after waking up is look for that cheap dopamine kick.

This addiction has hurt me multiple times and now it’s just a recurring pattern. I see it coming and I still am unable to change the outcome. So much so that it has killed my ambition my dreams my goals. I don’t even know what I want to be. I desperately need help. If somebody’s been through this and overcome it, please tell me how.

Suggest me some really good screen tracker apps.

Don't get me wrong, I know that social media is scourge and all but most of the posts on here are about being delivered from social media or whatever. I'm interested in what tools and apps are used on your phone. How you use your phone, if still using a smart phone, as the tool that it's capable of being. Anyone wanna chime in? Personally I use it for language learning apps, flashcards, word games and puzzles.

Hi everyone!!

I’m going through a bit of a dilemma and would love your input.

I am in cosmetology school with the hopes of becoming a color specialist in the near future! I am loving it so far and am excelling at this new path.

The only issue is that I really hate social media but it seems that I need to be active on social media to be successful and draw clients in.

I’d really like the get a dumb phone and leave social media behind completely, but I also want to become a successful hairstylist as soon as possible. I understand why it’s important to have some kind of social media presence as a hairstylist, but I know I would be happier without it in my life.

Any ideas on how I could find balance without falling back into social media addiction?

About Arthur Brooks:

Arthur Brooks is one of the world’s leading experts on the science of human happiness, appearing in the media and traveling the world to teach people in private companies, universities, public agencies, and faith communities how they can live happier lives and bring greater well-being to others.

Brooks is a professor at Vanderbilt University and a senior fellow at the Harvard Business School.

I am 51 years old and didn't start using Facebook consistently until 2014. Then I moved on to IG. It didn't dawn on me how much aggressive energy there was on these places until the big U.S. election in 2016.

The level of low behavior and people attacking one another got quite heated. This has not abated, it has gotten worse. People get so aggressively nasty and cruel with comments on social media because they have the protection of their screens. I began asking myself these questions: 1) would those angry people have the courage to say such horrible things to another person in public? 2) would you or I tolerate such comments if they were said to us as a dinner party?

This was my wakeup call to exit social media. There is no meaningful dialogue between people on these platforms. There is no decorum or respect. What compels us as humans to allow this level of disrespect on a screen when we would never tolerate it in reality?

If we want to elevate ourselves and society, the simplest step to take is to remove ourselves from environments which amplify the angry mob mentality and return to an era of respect for fellow humans.

I try to avoid using any app for digital detox. I tried using a dumber phone as well but didn't get the results I wanted from this attempt.

We need to flip the narrative from deleting apps and putting your phone into B&W to understanding what to do with the time we gain from not using our phone and also building a mindset of control and purpose.

After all, digital minimalism is one digital device, not many.

So I try to focus on the turned off part of smartphone.

Where in reality, it's as dumb as any device can get. No smart features, no social media, no addicting algorithm.

For me, asking myself why am I about to open my phone at any particular moment started helping me with regaining control and putting myself into a mindset of purpose when it comes to using my smartphone.

What worked for you?

I'm also trying to reinforce this point of view through some narrating videos on YouTube. Let me know if you feel that my advice touched you in any way.

I was wondering if anyone else is experiencing this: after deleting my two primary socials (TikTok and Instagram) that were consuming way too much of my time and well-being, now that I've been off them for a very long time, I can't care less about celebrities.

Yes, when Dolly Parton died I thought it was a huge loss. But other than major things like that, I really can't get into conversations about Nara Smith or the Karjenners anymore. Unfortunately, even if it's valid criticisms of them doing terrible things, I still just can't seem to care.

I really feel like maybe deleting those socials and living in real life has put things into perspective and made me realise how much these things don't matter.

I'm not fishing for compliments or baiting engagement, the genuine reason why I ask is because there are many things I don't care about any more: any fashion trends, any TikTok 'discourse', any 'viral' recipes. But I used to love having celebrity crushes and follow along what my faves wore at events.

It feels like once you step away, you realise how repetitive and dumb it all is, but because I once cared about those things, life feels a little blander now, bordering on psychopathy (it feels!) because anytime I hear anything about these topics I want to scream I don't caaaaaareeeeee who caresssssssssssss.

Anybody else have similiar experiences?

I actually did not realize when I joined this community that there is a book that pretty much guides you through the principles of digital minimalism. Reading has definitely become a passion now that I have decreased my phone use, I carry my books with me and any chance I am siting and waiting I am reading. I finally read this book and it helped organize myself how I wanted to use my time. It also forced me to put down my phone when I wanted to doom scroll because although this book says a lot of things we already know, it does give options to be disciplined with the use of tech and it feels like less of a waste and more productivity. If you are looking for somewhere to start this book is great. The author is phenomenal resume is very impressive.

been thinking about this. most advice is delete apps, turn off notifications, grayscale, that whole thing. and it works for a bit and then it doesn't.

for me it's rarely the fun apps that get me. it's the boring tasks. i unlock my phone to do one small thing, and then i'm just there, and ten minutes are gone.

so maybe the fix is making the boring stuff not need the phone at all? has anyone tried that. i don't even know how you'd do it, but i'm curious what actually stuck for people

I've been trying to process this feeling of being grounded(?), like I am back to Earth, and life exists right here and right now. I've started changing my mindset on things, for example, it used to be that when I needed something, I'd go straight online to see where I can order it. Now I pretend the internet is dead and first thing I decide is which shop I need to physically go to to purchase the thing. And then I go to the shop, pull the literal object off the shelf, and make the purchase.

I've also started going to the library instead of shopping for my books online. And I've been picking up my prescriptions instead of ordering them online. The other day I went into an actual shop to return a faulty item, instead of doing it online. It's almost as if doing something slooow and more intentional and delaying gratification (with the added touch of human interaction) is giving me more calm and peace, and it's given me the effect of "you are a human that exists on this planet, and other people exist too, and your online life was never real, you can just BE." It's so weird and hard to verbalise.

Even writing this post makes me think how could I have done this more locally and slower? Should I have mailed my local newspaper and had them publish this in actual print? It feels like such an old person thing to do but at the same time I like the feeling of novelty in it. What are your thoughts? Have you done something slower than you would have done previously?

My screen time keeps going up, so I planned on deleting my meta socials. I was met with "something went wrong, try again" for about an hour before I finally found a way to reset all my numbers, emails, reset passwords, log in and finally delete.

I'm embarrassed of how much rage I'm left with.

I am a gamer especially with handheld devices. Basically I trade one screen for another screen but it sort of works. I don't do doom scrolling most of the time I go online is to check for gaming tips. My favorite games are pokemon, Yugioh, farming and JRPG so basically is cozy and takes a long time to grind.

My favorite thing since deleting my main social media pages (Facebook, Instagram, Threads) that people from my life know me on is honestly how little people know what im up to. I feel like people share way too much about their personal life online and I was once very guilty about that. Opening up your public life to people online, even people who are distant friends and acquaintances, does hold the power to uproot a lot of things through the form of weird parasocial connections where people who followed me or only knew me through something like Facebook would walk up to me and start chatting to me like we were life long friends even tho this was just our first time meeting or ever really talking. This also opens people up to thinking they can have opinions on your relationships, jobs, and etc. Ever since I pulled the plug on that I feel so great because life really just can be so simple. Theres nothing wrong with going to work, reading a book (and not having to publicly post about it), watching a show (and not having to publicly post about it), or playing a video game (and not having to publicly post about it). That being said i also feel like im consuming media that I am interested in and less about what is trending and I go in with MY preconceived notions and not the entire internets. The people that need to have my number have it. I rarely get texts and im okay with that. I dont need to sit and have an entire phone tag convo with someone and then feel guilty or whatever for not being available. My phone has become optional and this has made people kinda just forget about me and my life has been SO MUCH MORE PEACEFUL. i really thought id be so upset that people weren't blowing up my phone trying to contact me, but instead ive found inner peace. What a concept yall. All of this is to say, it's nice to be selfish with your time, its nice and freeing when you realize people dont care as much as you think, and also if you need to know about something you will, everything else is just noise.

Hi, Just doing a quick ask around. Anyone here give up on spotify and start building a music library again? Has anyone managed to get that library to their car through any other means outside of putting onto a smartphone (objective being divorce from smartphone)?

Assumption is relatively recent car with no CD player (although that would be lovely!). Preferably options that support browsing music through the car stereo so do not have to browse on tiny screen distracting from driving (safety).

I've been seeing an increasing amount of posts on here about reducing screen time to as little as possible and I'm starting to think we've lost the point.

It's not about reducing screen time down to zero. "Screen Time Zero" will never become a thing in this day and age. Screen time in itself isn't a bad thing. Some things we do on screens are productive and more efficient than their non-digital equivalents. I can't help but thinking of a workflow at my company that required someone driving 40 miles each direction multiple times a day to transfer documents for signatures until someone figured out how to do it digitally.

The point of reducing screen time isn't to get rid of it entirely, but to reduce the time we're spending on screens that don't add value to our lives - whatever those values may be.

I’ve been trying to be more conscious of my screen time for the past 2 weeks or so. I’ve gotten it down from an average of 9+ hours to around 6 hours. I know, not great…. But progress.

One thing I’ve noticed is that as hard as it is to stay off the screen, it’s doable when I’m consciously making the decision. But I’ve noticed that literally the instant I have any moment of free time, any time I sit down, get in bed, etc., I am grabbing my phone to start scrolling without even thinking about it.

When did this stop for you?

if yall know of an app that does this, please drop the name!

ive come across apps that let you use instagram through its web version, but im looking for something that actually modifies the original app itself

thank you!

So I just deleted TikTok and instagram. I’ve kept Facebook to be able to talk to people but I’m just trading my screen time I had in TikTok and instagram for Facebook. What are some ways I can curb my screen time without deleting my Facebook entirely.

From the people who do Instacart who run around grocery stores as fast as possible while staring at their phones the whole time, not caring who or what they run into. To the people who walk at a snail's pace, scrolling through social, only to stop in the middle of an aisle or in everyone's way, while people shout "excuse me!" and they look up with a deer-in-headlights look and get embarrassed when their minds finally come back to them. To the people with kids who have like 2-4 devices blaring at the same time, and the parents are also scrolling.

I understand the Instacart and all that is a job, but why look at the phone and not where one is going? And yes, kids get rowdy, but devices are just harming them.