me 32/F , married for 10 years. 2 children. living in europe.

have never had an orgasm in my life.
not alone with masturbating and not with my partner.

im also not ever, but never HORNY.

i have sex 1x a week with my husband but its just to fulfill his desire's. sometimes during sex i get horny. then i receive oral wich feels great. then all of a suddon. its gone. hornyness gone and the sensation is gone. if i get oral i dont feel anything after that.

we tried all the toys. spend thousands of dollars on toys. i went to a sex therapist and tried having sex on drugs (mdma,psilocybin, xtc) nothing helped.

i even went to a specialist yoni massage where i received a 2 hour massage specialy curated to edge me and make me orgasm. nothing.

i am sad. i think about this 24/7. i cant function properly. i read everyone having orgasms and i get angry. please someone. i dont know what to do. where to go. my husband told me to go try a 15.000$ orgasm retreat in florida .

I’m 23F and have never been able to orgasm, either alone or with a partner (men and women). I’ve tried different types of vibrators (bullet, rose, satisfyer) techniques, etc. I’ve also read Come As You Are and tried some of the suggestions from that, which, while insightful, didn’t make much of a difference.

Clitoral stimulation definitely feels pleasurable, but I’m not sure I’ve ever even gotten close to an orgasm. I feel like the pleasure never gets more intense if that makes sense? A constant level that eventually usually turns into overstimulation and then I stop.

For anyone who’s been in the same or a similar boat and eventually figured it out, what worked for you? I’m getting pretty frustrated and would love some advice beyond the usual “try a vibrator” suggestions lol.

Am i only in my struggles? i get horny, and can orgasm when i’m in bed alone but the moment i have my partner or any person in the bedroom with me it becomes difficult. 😭 i didn’t get to sleep with my partner for 2 WEEKS i was so ready the whole time i was in bed alone, and tonight it failed. we went at it for an hour maybe more and i just couldn’t do it. he doesn’t put any pressure on me so i have no idea what the issue is but i feel so bad that i can’t enjoy sex with another person

Hey friends!

Not sure if this post belongs here. If not, just tell me and I’ll delete it right away.

I’m a transwoman, post-op. When I’m having sex with my partner I really want to moan, but I hate the sound of my own voice so I hold it back and stay quiet. It feels really unpleasant and I think it’s killing my orgasms.

When I masturbate alone I can cum pretty easily though… so what’s going on?

Any tips on how to get over this fear of making noise?

I recently started seeing someone who enjoys giving me oral and he’s actually very good at it. I’m 23 and I have never felt anything like the amount of pleasure he gives me. (It’s a little humbling because I didn’t think I’d ever be able to experience something like this!) However, I haven’t been able to finish from it. It’s frustrating and it makes me sad. After he has been going down on me a while, I eventually just start to feel like I’m not very aroused anymore and I want him to stop touching me. Afterwards I feel really sexually frustrated.

Last night I tried to get myself off while he was between my legs by touching my clit while he fingered me and kissed my thighs. Again, it felt so good and was super arousing, but I couldn’t quite get there.

Has anyone overcome this?

I’ve never been able to orgasm from sexual acts with a partner, but I can cum while masturbating. It takes me a long while and I usually have to have my knees locked/legs extended or even be on my tummy, which is kind of an impossible position for oral and other partnered activities.

hi. I’m completely new to orgasming as a woman and can only have clit orgasms. I use a rose toy who I depend deeply on. I find that the first orgasm is nice but not amazing, but the second one has me biting my fist and writhing around to be quiet. does anyone else experience this? or is this weird?

Hello, i'll be very blunt and direct here- i've been masturbating for years now since a concerningly early age actually but only my clit, this year i started trying to put stuff in and honestly it feels good but it never really makes me orgasm i still always have to simultaneously rub while penetrating myself, is that normal? I also really want to learn how to squirt but its always just kind of pee, not sure if pee and squirt are different tho, like do they come out of different holes? And I also want to try humping pillows but I dont really know how, like I've tried but I dont really feel anything nor do I get off, is there a proper way to do i?

I’m 23F. I recently figured out how to have an orgasm for the first time—using vibrators. I feel a sudden pleasurable buildup and then involuntary muscle contractions. It does not feel as amazing or life-changing like people describe? When the contractions starts it doesn’t feel like much. Is this normal? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Just for some context, I (19f) have not experienced penetrative sex before.

I can have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation and i absolutely love it. I have tried multiple times to enjoy fingering myself, but having an orgasm aside, i can't even enjoy the sensation.

It just feels like im touching my insides and i have seen a lot of women here complain about this in here.

I don't expect to have an orgasm through fingering, but just feels like im missing out by not enjoying it. It just feels like nothing before it starts to hurt.

And no, curling fingers doesnt do shit for me either. Is this a lost cause?

I’m 22F and I’ve been consistently sexually active since I was 14, yet I’ve never been able to learn how to orgasm. I try to masturbate and I know where my clitoris is but I have almost no sensation there. I’ve tried many things like different toys, methods, positions, porn etc. but nothing. Whenever I do feel something on my clitoris it’s mainly a burning or a tearing sensation. Is this normal? I wasn’t able to find anything online about this other than an injury and to look for redness or cuts, which there are none. I may have had an orgasm a few months ago but it was nothing like what anyone else had described and I haven’t gotten back to whatever that was. It was while using a vibrator and my vagina started spasming but I didn’t feel anything other than that, no rush of emotions, tingling, nothing. Is that what that was? I’m mainly just looking to see if anyone else has experienced this same thing and any advice on what to do and try next.

Hi friends, I (F) am fairly new to the world of toys. I got a bunny vibe from Hide The Vibe as my first toy, decided it was too small and time to upgrade, and then got the Nova 2. The Nova 2 ended up fitting, surprisingly, day 2 of trying to use it. I've heard and seen sooooo many great reviews about it but....I don't know it just doesn't work for me. The clit arm is just too low and rumbly and the pressure it creates (with the custom shape I bent it to) presses down too hard on my clit I feel like it just gets numbed. Maybe its user error? I've tried bending the insertable part of the wand so many ways its just frustrating at this point. I am someone who loves penetration while still having strong clit stimulation.... Also, when i mean penetration I'm also hoping for the insertable arm to be thrusting/vibrating. Am i asking for some impossible thing? loll.... I'm working on returning the Nova 2 cause I'm just so upset. But any suggestions??

I think I cured my 4 year long primary anorgasmia with the satisfyer pro penguin. I believe I had a singular orgasm two weeks ago but ever since I’ve never experienced it again. It wasn’t very ‘earth shattering’ but I genuinely felt like I was floating for a couple of seconds and my hand didn’t jerk away involuntarily. I used the higher settings to orgasm without squirting. Ever since then, I keep on squirting solely from clitoral stimulation on the higher settings of my toy but idk why I can’t get to have an orgasm again. My towels keep getting soaked for nothing. idk what to do. Someone please help 😭

If I stimulate the ‘top part’ of my clit with my toy, I squirt so I try and lower the toy to avoid it. But I think my hips keep on moving so my toy ends up higher then I accidentally squirt. Mind you, prior to buying this toy I had never squirted in my life idk why my body keeps doing this shit instead of orgasming. I really want to get that floaty feeling again :(( I’m frustrated since I finally got to see what I was missing out on 💔

I’ve never orgasmed with my own hands and am completely reliant on my current toy. Sometimes I get really horny and want to masturbate every day of the week but like my clit is now ’perpetually swollen’. It doesn’t hurt but I have to take breaks from masturbating even when I really want to because my clit just becomes numb. Like I’ll have the satisfyer on a medium setting and literally feel nothing. Do air pulse toys do this to other people or…? I normally only use it for 30 mins at a time sporadically (in the morning, in the evening sometimes and before bed)

25F I get really frustrated sometimes with the fact I can’t orgasm. I have an extremely high sex drive but have never had an orgasm. It basically feels like I’m perpetually edging. Some days it doesn’t bother me, other days I just feel so frustrated and defeated by my body and brain. I’m slowly getting off a medication and lowering the dose has helped some but it’s still frustrating

i've been trying for an hour to cum by rubbing myself but the most i felt was mild pleasure. sometimes its just uncomfortable to touch myself down there and i can't keep my mind in the right headspace for it. i can never focus on porn.

i don't know what to change... i can't afford a toy right now. i've been able to cum by fingering with a full bladder and pressing down on my gspot, but i want to explore my clitoris more. idk if i'm not sensitive enough or putting enough pressure on it or what.. i don't even know what to do because mostly it doesn't feel like much.

i just want to feel the same pleasure as other women, so much so that they get like addicted to it. does anyone have any tips?? i've had 1 really good orgasm and it lasted for so long.. i want to experience that but with my clit.

at the very least, what do other people do?

any help is appreciated

I've never really been able to finish from penetration alone. Like I enjoy sex a lot but getting there takes some extra work for me and I don't even know why. So I've been seeing this new guy and tbh the sex is really good. The only problem is that every time I'm getting super close, he ends up finishing before me and I just fake it because I don't want him to feel bad or think he's doing something wrong. One night I even asked him to use his fingers too and I swear I was literally guiding his hand to the exact spot that felt good but somehow he kept missing it... I was getting so frustrated but didn't know how to say anything without making it awkward. Anyway yesterday we were having sex again and I decided I wasn't going to just pretend this time. So while he was inside me I grabbed my WhisperBullet and kept it against my clit and OMG. For the first time in forever I finished before he did. And the best part was he didn't stop immediately either. I was still shaking a little and he kept going until he finished too. The whole thing just felt so much better because I wasn't lying there pretending I'd gotten mine.

But I'm wondering if there's a way for me to finish from penetration alone or if I'm just overthinking it lol. Does anyone else struggle to finish from penetration even when the sex itself feels amazing? Are there any positions or little tricks that helped you?

So when I cum with a vibrator by myself, I have pelvic contractions and it’s very obvious ive orgasmed.

When I’m with my partner, I don’t have strong involuntary muscles contractions but I get tingles in my legs and intense waves of pleasure and then after we’re done my vagina feels like it has a heartbeat, but not the same as the obvious muscle contractions I get with masturbation. The pleasure is 10x better with my partner than masturbating, but it’s so different it has me questioning…

Am I still coming with my partner? I’d like to think I am, but idk if anyone else relates to orgasms feeling vastly different depending on how you get them?

as stated above, I cannot finish without a vibrator and I cry every couple months when I try to do it. I look at videos of women with larger clits, and I cry because I feel I will never experience what that’s like. I have never been able to cum with my own hands. I have never succeeded in fingering myself. Neither has any man even if it feels good sometimes(including oral) it just doesn’t go anywhere and I can only cum from my vibrator on on the highest setting. Ive read that over usage of a vibrator can desensitize it but I’ve also read that it’s a myth. Even though I stop and I try with my hands, I can’t finish so what is the alternative for me? I’ve gone a couple months without it. I still couldn’t finish , cried and had to get a vibrator again. What do I do? I’m so tired. It makes me really sad.
I’m still pretty young under 25 and don’t want to accept this as my fate

For more context, I first started masturbating when I was 17 could not figure it out for the life of me. I looked up videos, read articles and still did not enjoy it so I had to get a vibrator when I turned 18. I’m 23 and still in the same predicament so I don’t know if that information helps anyone but yeah.
I’m so envious when woman would tell me oh they hump pillows or they squeeze their legs together or the shower head I feel like I missed out on so many things that young women experience. I just feel so weird. I tried everything nothing makes me finish only a vibrator on the highest setting

I (21f) have never been able to orgasm no matter what I try. I’ve definitely gotten close a couple times, but it takes forever to the point where i get bored and just stop. Long story short, I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time and my depression has seemed to reach a peak, to the point where i’m finally trying to get professional help. I have a doctors appointment at the end of the month and am considering antidepressants because I genuinely feel like i have no other option. If i already cant orgasm without being on an SSRI, is my chance of being able to in the future going to become pretty much 0?

Hey, I, '21F' , was just wondering how exactly would orgasm feel like.. I can't distinguish it yet..

I was a virgin up until my 20, bfr which I never enjoyed myself as well.. clit is the only thing that gives me the hype nd after a point it hurts nd I asked chatgpt of it nd it said the nerve ending due to constant friction nd stuff... I donno how to do it then.. I wanna achieve the peak so bad.. I'd like to know if I can squirt.. I've been tryna understand through porn but I genuinely felt it ain't reality.. it even showed legs starting to shiver..I'm here, open to a discussion

Fyi, my partner, '21M' , nd I are both beginners when it comes to sex, and we’re figuring things out together..

I (F20) am having trouble masturbating. I normally use a pillow and grind on it while watching videos, but I'm looking for better ways to do it, as it's not as good anymore. I'm a virgin but have done some other stuff with my boyfriend (M20), like fingering and him eating me out (which has felt good but hasn't led to an actual orgasm, as far as I'm aware). Currently, we are long-distance, so there's not much he can do to help me out. I'm open to just about anything, I just want to feel satisfied!

I don’t know if anyone else is like this, but when I’m having some solo time, I usually need something to help me get in the mood first.

I used to try porn, but honestly it never really worked for me. Maybe I’m just way too picky lol, but if I don’t like the guy’s face, body, or even his voice, I lose interest almost immediately.

Eventually I tried googling self-pleasure audio instead, and it worked way better for me. I only really need to find a voice I’m into, and then I can just let my imagination do the rest.

That’s pretty much what I use now. I usually find a collection or a few audios that really fit what I like and keep going back to them, though every once in a while I start craving a new voice or a different vibe.

Just curious if anyone else here is more into audio than visual stuff too?

Soooo… rarely if ever have I ever orgasmed without a vibrator (38F). I’ve tried OMing. Ive tried no vibrator for awhile. I’ve tried all kinds of things. It’s not my hormones or anything like that. And I have this kegel thing called perifit that I also use. I have always been this way. Would love best ideas/examples on what has worked or what to try.

It’s not the end of the world or anything if I don’t figure it out. I’d just like to have to not need a vibrator if I want to orgasm and don’t have one handy. Like sometimes I get really turned on but then I can’t go all of the way without help and it leaves me incredibly horny.

Explanation of the title: the process of getting horny, wet, and for my vagina to “open up” in preparation for penetration is a totally completely separate process from orgasm generation . Literally, it’s two separate activities entirely that don’t influence each other in the slightest. If i have an orgasm, it doesn’t mean I am wet or prepared in the slightest for sex, and vise versa

I think my issue is anatomical and physiological. Anatomy because I orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and my clit is just too high up to receive stimulation from the things I do that make me horny and wet lower down. There is an inch or more of difference in the placement.
Physiologically the movements required to make orgasm happen are not remotely sexual. It is these circular movements of a highly specific pressure that I can do on my own, with hands or a toy, and I can teach a partner to do it too. But it’s a movement that is essentially impossible to make in sex. It’s impossible for me to orgasm spontaneously, I have to make it happen manually.

Internal orgasm is almost impossible for me to generate in any context. The few times it happened, it was from masturbation with a hard object specifically angled to find that spot and put a lot of pressure on it. This is an impossible pressure to create from sex
I think my clitoris (both outside and inside) is small, and sexual activity just doesn’t hit those spots at all.

If you have any ideas or just like to share, maybe you agree that your anatomy/physiology is the same.