A while ago I asked for ideas here on how to plan a birthday party around my son's special interest of exit signs. And there were so many wonderful ideas shared, I wanted to give an update. He had a Race to the Exit obstacle course party, and had a blast! In the past birthdays were a little challenging. He would often get over stimulated and melt down. Or collect all the balloons and not want to share. Today we had over 40 family and friends come to celebrate and it was so amazing to watch him he play, talk, share, and, yes, make a quick recovery from a mild upset of not wanting to get out of the obstacle course 😆 overall just so proud of my guy. Thank you again to this great community!

He’s almost 2.5 now but I still think about it.

I knew something wasn’t right with his development. I used the CDC Milestones app, I did a lot of reading to understand developmental milestones and he kept missing them.

He slept great as an infant … because he couldn’t roll around like other babies.

We slept great when he was a baby … because when he did wake up, he laid there quietly, because he couldn’t communicate.

He was diagnosed “low muscle tone”. He was often just 1-2 months the “normal” milestone window except for communication which never seemed to progress. Every time I brought my baby in public, brought him around family or friends, I would inevitably get the comment “Wow he’s so quiet/easy” and often it would be followed “That’s so unusual for a baby his age”.

By 9 months it had been building on me for a while. “That’s not normal” became a little ear worm I couldn’t ignore. I spilled my guts to his Pediatrian and told him I was concerned about the missed milestones and I was worried because he was so easy. He told me having an easy baby was a blessing. He told me my son would likely catch up.

A few months later, my son had a sick visit with a different pediatrician in the office who wrote that she observed signs of autism. I think he was 14 months old at that time. I spiraled.

Ultimately I’m grateful the other Ped caught the signs (not at all grateful she decided to write that in his visit report without mentioning ANYTHING to me about it).

Eventually, at 18 months, he was diagnosed.

I don’t know why I’m writing. I’m frustrated that my concerns were dismissed but I also recognize that there probably wasn’t anything he could do at 9 months to help us. Well, who knows - maybe an OT referral? Anyhoo thanks for reading.

My six year old’s been having real hard time since over a year now .. the last three months have been hell! My kid’s non conversational and minimally verbal. He was generally very clingy to me but not so much recently and I was missing it. Today I tried to snuggle up and out of nowhere .. no prompting at all … he just hugs me tight .. looks into my eyes and says “Dada .. I love you” … something healed inside me just like that 🥹

My son is a GLP and i took him to a behavioural therapist because weve been seeing some new behaviours. This therapist sorry to say was a complete idiot especially for someone who says theyre very familiar with working with ND kids. Anyways she had the most annoying and loud voice and kept saying “benjamin sit” (changed the name) in a very heavy accent.

Now my son keep saying “Benjamin sit” in the exact same accent, tone and loudness lol and its driving me crazy but the accuracy of the voice is insane.

There are so many moments, but here’s one I randomly thought about recently.

Around last Christmas, we were buying toys for the kids (with the kids there, of course lol), and one of the toys was an infant toy. My son loves things that talk and light up, so it was actually the perfect gift for him. My son had just turned 5, and my youngest was 1.

The cashier said something along the lines of, “I know the little one will love it!” I just smiled and said, “I’m sure he will!” because honestly, what do you even say to that?

I don’t have any hard feelings toward the cashier at all. She had no way of knowing, and I know she meant nothing by it. But it was one of those moments that felt bittersweet and put his differences into perspective.

Another moment that really stuck with me was when I saw someone I know post their son’s kindergarten assessment scores. He’s the same age as my son, and he was assessment in all areas. My son’s score on the similar assessment was zero, which is the complete opposite.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of my son and the progress he has made! There are just those moments that you remember so clearly and the feelings that came with it.

What are some moments like this that stuck with you?

On the one hand, I love my son more than the air I breathe. In the 5 years he’s been mine, he’s expanded my heart beyond what I thought was possible. Though he cannot speak, I hear him. I know what he needs and wants and I advocate FIERCELY for him.

On the other, days like today where he shows literally anyone else affection really makes me regret becoming a mom. It’s true.

So, today started at 4 am. My husband will just bare hug him, but I could tell he was hungry, so I got up and made him breakfast. He fussed at me when I laid on the couch because he wanted to be let in to the laundry. No snuggles, high five, kiss, nothing. Just feed me and let me get into shit.

Later that morning his grandparents surprised us with a visit. He was soooooo happy. Grins and smiles ear to ear. At one point, he indicated on his AAC that he wanted squeezes. They didn’t know what that meant, so I showed them. I showed them. Because I know. I listen. I learn. I give him what he needs.

Yet, when it comes to me, he yanked on my hair or scratched my skin five times today for a myriad of reasons. Once becuase he hit his head several feet away from me on the doorknob, and I noticed. I came to console, and he attacked until my husband pulled him off. He didn’t go after anyone else, just me.

I take him to swim practice alone. I advocate for his right to a disabled parking spot (a coffee company was using the only available disabled parking spot for loading their coffee machines. Excuse me, no.) and later after his lesson he hits me while trying to get him dressed.

Then, on a date with my husband and all I’m doing is buying things for him that I know he will love. And I’m so excited to show him! Like a fucking simpleton because it won’t make him abuse me any less.

Then, tonight I’m helping him get dressed into his pjs. Again, yanks on my hair while glaring at me. Out of nowhere.

Like, fuck it. There is no one on this planet doing more for him and this is what I get?!

His grandparents show up once every three months and all giggles, smiles and love for them. I take him to every doctor appointment, therapy and lesson that I sourced, schedule and paid for, and I rush to comfort him when he needs it for any reason. Yet, he hits, scratches, pulls my hair out and abuses me.

I’m not asking for a lot. But when I open Instagram in tears and see a little boy his age or younger describe a sunset so beautiful that it looks “like mommy” and see him picking flowers for her, I want to scream, throw up, and give up. Fuck.

I always post sad moments so I thought I’d share something lovely.

My daughter is 5, autistic, learning disability , gestalt processor and non communicative in her verbal language.

I struggle with taking her out alone , she uses a wheelchair pushchair , ear defenders and reins. Today was sunny with trickles of rain so I decided to just suck it up and take her 2 minutes down the road to the soft play. She wore her reins and walked perfectly with the expected reactions to some loud noises .

We played in soft play for an hour as it was very empty so she loved it. We walked to the shop next door and she got some sweets. I was so happy, proud, I genuinely felt so “normal” , just a mum and her daughter having a day.

We walk the 2 minute walk slowly back And then I hear her say “happy” as she smiles to herself holding her sweets. I honestly had to hold my tears as I replied back to her “oh you’re so happy!”. She never tells me how she feels, I usually cry because she can’t even tell me her favourite colour let alone emotions. We had such a good day with no meltdowns and I can’t wait to do it again.

I'm sure most of us have heard the news about the tragedy that occurred in Bend, Oregon. It has always been in the back of my mind since my 7 year old started pre k (autistic lvl 2, pre-verbal) "will she be able to keep quiet" "will she be able to follow directions" "will she run if necessary" and my mind just comes up with every possible scenario and hearing that my worst nightmare happened to 5 other families has just torn me apart. Last year I really considered home schooling her but she loves school 💔 my heart wants her to have the best educational experience but I also want to keep her as safe as I possibly can. I don't really know why I'm posting this but I feel like everyone in my life likes to just sweep these things under the rug and not have real conversations, I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not crazy to feel this way

If anyone is open to talk, that would be great.

I’m honestly really struggling atm and would love to meet some people in the same boat as myself ☺️

My step son (7) has been waiting 2 years for his autism test and we finally have it Thursday’s.can anyone tell me what I need to bring what happens and what happens after. This has been a very uphill battle. He didn’t talk until he was 4. He stems and has very bad behavioral outbursts. But he’s also been through some trauma. He has urinated on me a few times and still has bathroom accidents where he will just stand there and poop himself. He screams and hits me and his dad often and it gets worse when he’s supposed to go to his moms and she doesn’t get him. He has put cleaning spray in my sprite. He doesn’t respond to time outs or any punishment. He doesn’t feel pain and I’m almost convinced of it, because when he was little and got put in time out he would rip his diaper off and pull his parts to his belly button. He didn’t get potty trained until he was four. He is very behind in school. He doesn’t sit still or focus on anything for more than 2 minutes. However, he is very good at math and is ahead by a year in the subject. Can anyone tell me what to expect?

My 8 year old son is high support needs non verbal. McDonald’s nuggets were one of the only forms of protein I could get him to eat but it seems as though he no longer likes them. I tried some and they seem to have vastly declined in quality.

Anyone have the best idea for substitutes?

Background: my child was a normal developing baby. We had no worries regarding milestones. It wasn’t until 22 months I noticed we were behind in speech. We had EI evaluate we didn’t meet the need for it (relief). Then at 2, we were still behind. Not really any words just sign language. So I pushed for private speech, despite being told to wait by our pediatrician.

Well… we are 4.5. We became potty trained at 3… pooping can still be hard (they are a great eater but we sometimes over do it with fiber and the looseness can make it hard either way little language).

We do pretty well at preschool, we have great receptive language (understanding), we have amazing spatial awareness (very visual learner, doesn’t get lost), we have quirks (we love cause and affect play - jumping and dropping objects).

We notice other kids but beyond chase and parallel playing we don’t play with kids…

We self regulate very well, we don’t have big meltdowns, and we are amazing safety awareness and don’t elope.

We eat very well (fish, bananas, humus, avocados, smoothies, pasta, meat etc). We use utensils, drink out of cups…

Our expressive language is not there. We used to label things but have now moved on to functional language. We can say “I want more.. help…please… eat, yes, no, ready set go, three, open, daddy, mama.” We still don’t say grandma, grandpa, sister, and have said things but inconsistently.

We have never lost language, more we have learned core words and dropped others or those words are hard to say on demand… We vocalize well (different sounds, constants, vowels…). I am wondering about Apraxia of speech…

Why am I writing this? Because I had my child young. My pregnancy was not hard. My baby had no signs but language is the biggest of all which affects his interactions with others.

When we were on the swing set and I started walking with this sister… they got upset. They wanted to come with us to the playground part, held our hands, they want comfort from mom and dad. They seek us out… they have made connections with teachers…

But with their autism diagnosis coming up… I’m dreading hearing “we don’t know what the future holds or expect them to live with you forever, never make friends, never be conversational…etc.

I’m mourning my baby, while I strive to be their biggest advocate and show bravery in my face.

We are in speech therapy twice a week, and we’ve been doing DIR once a week (which is exhausting and I’m thinking of just adding on one more day of speech).

I’m scared for this eval… scared for kinder next year… I’m scared of the unknown.

Can my child grow if language develops?
We are trying an AAC but they would rather try to talk or communicate with us directly. But the words can’t seem to come out.

A kid came up to them… they looked at them… but didn’t wave and ran over to us. My heart :(

Hi dear parents!

I am here to take advice from experienced parents. My son is 9 now

He never had this mouthing related sensory issues. Just last year, he started this putting his shirt or T's collar in mouth and he bites on pencils. I try to include raw vegetables and nuts in his diet. I know chewy tube is a solution but it doesn't look appropriate in our society. So is there anything else that you did which helped. How frequent one should give crunchy foods. Does oral massaging help? If it does, how frequent should it be done. He does it mostly when his bored and free or while doing school work.

The Pros: It could signal kind people to be patient, giving him a safer environment to practice his social skills and build confidence.

The Cons: I am terrified it will invite unwanted attention, target him for intentional bullying, or label him negatively.

For those who have used or avoided these visual aids: What was your experience? Did it actually help protect your child from hostile strangers, or did it cause more harm than good?

Thank you!

I have a child who was in extreme stress in the school setting. They do have an IEP but apparently because they seemed stable, the school did not enforce the IEP and this particular child is not comfortable asking for help. Now that we are seeking to reintroduce the child into the school setting. Again, we have been focusing on triggers. Of course. We are going to work with the school to get this IEP situation dealt with adequately. I will make a separate post asking for assistance with that issue.

This post concerns the level of teasing my child received concerning their hygiene. They were significantly teased, to the point where they were expressing suicidal ideation, if returned to a school setting, and one large reason is hygiene. This child is an 8th grade and has an IQ near 120 but requires learning supports.

They were hospitalized because of their anxiety and have since been placed in a partial program. OT, the partial school therapist and teachers as well as myself and this child's BHT and BC have all been working to no avail.

During hospitalization and at the partial placement, the only diagnosis has remained ASD lvl 1 with learning disabilities and ADHD, which we knew since this child was four. The only new diagnosis added is gender dysphoria.

Even with the addition of fluoxitine for regulation of anxiety and colonodine for sleep aid, we cannot seem to get a handle on hygiene and now the child has entered puberty and begun their period.

They are not ready for cups, tampons, or disks. We have tried standard pads and period underwear. The child is getting vaginal issues. And their room smells like a nightmare even with me cleaning it out.

They also persistently carry a heavy odor which is made worse by this situation.

In the past, other autism groups have advised me that I can check into puberty blockers or birth control to suppress my child's menstrual cycle.

Friday, I went to my pediatrician to discuss these issues once again and I have been told that there is no option open to me. The doctor told me any, and all endocrinilogy programs have been closed or defunded. I am in pennsylvania. Is this accurate and what ameliorations, can I seek for myself and this particular child? Is it possible that because the doctor saw the gender dysphoria they are going to refuse me help, even though it is not related nor the main reason I am trying to find help.

Please keep this discussion as health focused as possible. I don't need criticism. I am working with so many professionals on charts, reward systems, lists, desensitization, etc. At this point I am hoping that the doctor was incorrect or misinformed because I don't know what else to do, but try to stop the cycle until the child has enough maturity to help handle it.

Hi everyone! I’m looking for advice from parents who’ve experienced something similar.

Our 4-year-old daughter is nonverbal autistic and recently started at a small, specialized preschool for autistic children.

She has been attending her regular daycare since she was one, where everything goes well. At the new preschool, however, she struggles from the moment we arrive. She’s fine in the car, but once we’re inside the building, she starts visually stimming and wants to leave before even entering the classroom.

We’ve tried preparing her with photos of the classroom and her spot. We’ve also given her more time inside the building before going into the classroom, but she simply wants to leave. Even her favourite activity involving numbers isn’t enough to get her inside.

The difficult part is that she can follow the learning activities once she’s settled. It’s the transitions that overwhelm her and lead to meltdowns. She’s had a meltdown at the beginning of three out of four visits, and we’re worried she’ll develop a negative association with the preschool.

The group follows a set structure that she’s expected to participate in, just like the other children, but right now she struggles to get past the initial transition.
Has anyone experienced something similar? What helped your child adjust to a new setting?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences and what worked for your child.

hi everyone i’m 24 with a 21 month old son who i’m having a very difficult time understanding when it comes to his tantrums and just overall behavior

the tantrums are long and can last well over an hour but its just him on the ground kicking and screaming and its sometimes followed by him sitting on the couch rocking back and forth

he doesn’t really play with his sister or even in church nursery when we go pick him up he’s just doing his own thing standing there by himself

i nursed him til 18 months and he does not know how to self soothe. multiple bottles at night and me having to comfort him back to sleep

he’ll wave to people but is shy at times. my husband has adhd so is this just him showing signs of that or is this something i need to to breathe about cause “he’s just a boy”

*even if this is not looking like autism any advice is also much needed.
people are constantly saying “boys develop slower” but something doesn’t feel right when i look at my son and its getting to me

It’s amazing how a single afternoon can connect dots you didn't even realize were there.

For months, my six-year-old high-functioning autistic son has had intermittent, seemingly random episodes of severe dysregulation—becoming defiant, agitated,a terrible listener, quick to anger, and occasionally physical. We were constantly trying to figure out what was triggering him all the while being driven insane by his antics.

Today, he came back from a birthday party completely whipped into a hyper-active frenzy and bouncing off the walls. My husband mentioned he’d had cake with red icing and Sour Patch Kids. That led me down a rabbit hole into food dyes, specifically Red 40, Yellow 5, and Blue 1- which SPK are LOADED with. Seeing the research on how these chemicals impact impulse control and behavior in sensitive children felt like a lightbulb turning on.

While the claim that dyes cause autism is completely false, the impact they have on executive functioning and nervous system regulation is very real. Knowing it can take up to two days for these dyes to clear his system explains why these rough patches sometimes linger.

Moving forward, we're making a strict push to eliminate artificial dyes from our pantry. I'd love to hear from other parents—did cutting out dyes make a noticeable difference in your child's day-to-day behavior?

I’m hoping to hear from other parents who may have experienced something similar.

My son started taking Prozac (10 mg) for anxiety, and after about a month, I noticed he began having really intense hiccups after eating. As he continued taking the medication, he started complaining that food felt like it was getting stuck in his throat.

Eventually, we increased his dose (not realizing at the time that Prozac could potentially be contributing), and his symptoms became worse. He started vomiting after food would get stuck.

I happened to look up rare side effects of Prozac and discovered that some of these symptoms have been reported. We’re currently seeing specialists to rule out other possible causes, but it’s been such a difficult and frustrating experience.

What makes this even harder is that my son has already had significant negative reactions to four different ADHD medications and now two anxiety medications.

I struggle so much with having him on medication in the first place, but without it, his anxiety becomes debilitating. He experiences terrible migraines and stomachaches, and his OCD symptoms become much more intense. We’ve tried counseling, which helps sometimes, along with so many other approaches, but nothing has consistently helped.

My son is also on the autism spectrum (level 1), and I’ve read that some autistic children may respond differently or be more sensitive to certain medications. I’m starting to wonder if that’s part of what we’re experiencing.

I feel like we’re constantly having to choose between managing his anxiety and dealing with medication side effects, and it’s heartbreaking.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this with Prozac? Or does anyone have a child on the spectrum who seems extremely sensitive to medications?

I’m not looking for medical advice, as we’re working closely with his doctors. I would just really appreciate hearing from other parents who have been through something similar. I’m feeling pretty lost right now.

I am 28f and my spouse is 29m. We have been together 13 years and married for 4. I have a 3.5yo son who is suspected AuDHD. I just found out today I am 3-4 weeks pregnant. (Super early I just happened to take a test with no suspicions and it was positive) He is in a federally funded head-start preschool program and they are helping us access all the resources and services. We are low income but the bills are paid and our family is fed. I am just terrified and not sure a second child is what's best for our family right now.

My son is extremely smart- hyperlexic and full on reading by age 3 but struggles with social engagement. He has a pretty much photographic memory and is a feisty little redhead. His communication is mostly limited to scripting and echolalia right now rather than forming his own sentences but he does seem to understand most of what is said to him. The communication delay (I think) is fueling the big emotions and meltdowns. We often struggle to manage his big feelings despite implementing deep breaths, calm spaces, etc.. Being told no something he doesn't like often leads to screaming, crying and aggression. (Almost always aimed at me, mom. I'll be honest coping with this has been difficult for me and I have lost my cool a handful of times and then lay in bed at night feeling like the worst mom ever.) But he can also be the sweetest, kindest little love bug. He will engage in parallel play at school and doesn't seem to mind the other kids but doesn't typically choose to interact with the other kids.

My son is scheduled to have a full evaluation soon and has been signed up for speech therapy (during school hours) due to a recommendation from the school. I have told them I would like to enroll him in any and all therapies/resources they think will be beneficial to him so I can imagine we will have some sort of therapy in the future. I am considering termination because I am so worried what this will mean for our family.

I am terrified that another pregnancy (my first was rough, had HG the entire time) and subsequently having another child will take away time from me that my toddler may really need in the near future. He hasn't been formally diagnosed but what does this mean for us if he has a schedule full of therapies but I now have a tiny baby to haul around with us? I'm worried that my son will feel left out or less than because he now has to share his attention with a baby. Will he grow to love his new sibling or resent them because this? He can have a temper and can be aggressive with me when upset, (this is improving as he adjusts to school after being with me 24/7) but what if he is mean to the baby? What if he doesn't bond with his new sibling?

I have entertained the thought of having another child many times before but now would not have been the time I would have chose. I also have a 100+ lb dog that is very high energy and am worried another child may force me to consider rehoming if we cannot meet her needs. We're just in a particularly difficult season of parenting while we navigate thongs and the unknown around what the future holds for my son and our family that this just seems like a cruel joke. I've only known a few hours so I'm spiraling but have made an appointment with the local Planed Parenthood to confirm and discuss options I just need to hear from some parents who've been in the same position. I also have a genetic mutation that makes pre predisposed to reproductive cancers and have to consider preventative surgeries in the coming years that would end my child bearing years. I know people say "you'll never regret having another, but you might regret not!" but I just do not know what to do :(

I’m asking about a 7-year-old girl who has never received a formal developmental assessment. I’m trying to understand what conditions might explain the combination of symptoms, not diagnose her online.
Since early childhood, she has had difficulty pronouncing words correctly, even after repeated correction. She is very hesitant around new experiences and may wait until everyone else has entered school before going inside.
At school, she struggles to remember her classmates’ names despite spending several hours with them daily. She has difficulty learning to write letters and numbers independently. She can trace them when given dotted outlines, but struggles to reproduce them from memory.
She rarely participates in class and seems unaware of some social or academic comparisons that other children notice.
Other observations:
Her gait looks unusual, and one knee seems to bend inward when she stands.
She makes random hand movements while explaining things, which do not seem related to what she is saying.
She often puts a finger in her mouth while thinking and may remain in that position for several minutes.
She bites her nails.
She has an intense fear of hospitals and may refuse to enter one, even after a long period of reassurance.
Her height and facial appearance seem typical, with no obvious physical abnormalities.
For parents or professionals who have encountered similar cases:
What conditions were eventually diagnosed?
What assessments helped distinguish language disorders, learning difficulties, autism, intellectual disability, anxiety, and neurological or motor conditions?
Is there a particular specialist who should assess the combination of speech, learning, and gait difficulties first?
I understand that these observations are not enough for a diagnosis. I’m looking for relevant experiences and guidance on what should be assessed.

I have a second post which gives some more information concerning my child, which may be relevant I am trying to discuss here.

I am afro, latina, and my husband is caucasian.

My child came out with blended hair. Very frizzy, curly down to the root and very thick, think shirly temple without the polish.

This child struggles with hygiene. It's been a nightmare.

This particular child of mine has been an a partial hospitalization program for stress related issues. They are doing superbly there, but we are getting ready to reintroduce them to their school. OT, BHT, BC, CBT, and myself, as well as this partial school program, have been unable to help this child manage their hygiene. The problem is extreme.

One aspect is this particular child's hair type. You cannot just brush through this mane of hair with a brush. And let me note the child is extremely tender, headed.

With my hair type, you have to wet the hair and then comb it. Once combed, we apply a mousse, palmade, or oil to tame frizz and allow the curl pattern to take over. The child has refused to sleep in a bonnet, to allow any type of oil treatment, and struggles to take regular showers.

This child cannot stand to wet their hair. They're scalp is covered in cradle cap.

I have tried to spray it with a spray bottle and then comb it out, but they don't like the feeling of the spray.

They will not sit for a braiding. Most attempts to mess with their hair, lead to the child having an extreme meltdown, and in some cases elopement.

And I want to stress. My child is the sweetest most lovable baby you have ever met. They never need a stranger, so it's breaking my heart that they're hygiene is becoming prohibitive to them, participating in society properly.

Does anyone have any information or advice for our hair type with this issue?