My son is 5 and lvl 3.Now I just installed these indoor climbing structures to give him a safe space to climb just need to put his trampoline together now. Hopefully he will stop climbing all over the house

Our 7 year old level 2 is starting to speak and request MORE AND MORE!!! Sometimes, it’s hard to understand her without context. She kept requesting the same thing over and over.

Today, we FINALLY got to take some time out to make the pie she’s been requesting.

She is glowing and ecstatic we finally did it.

Just a happy post that we understood her want and executed with ZERO meltdowns!

The laminated image of from her amazing teacher who also got the memo 🤣

I'm really at my wit's end with my daughter (19 F). She's level 3 as well as intellectually disabled so she really can't do any hygiene tasks on her own. I try to get her to and she melts down, sometimes she shoves me, or if I convince her it's like 45 minutes to get through something simple like brushing her teeth. I have my own health issues but lost my Medicaid since my state doesn't see being a 24/7 family caregiver as a real job. I've spent the last week struggling through back pain while my daughter nags at me to wash her favorite PJs. I'm on all the waiting lists so until then it's all on me. What gets me is nobody looks at the fact that she's refusing. I just catch the blame. Last night I overheard my neighbors talking about her matted hair. Thankfully one was actually defending me. Right now my daughter's teeth are disgusting and she won't let me brush them at all. If she was an independent 19 year-old, you do you, but I'm burned out and tired of being blamed for something I can't control.

My son is 5 and was diagnosed with level 2 autism earlier this year. For the last couple of years, he’s been obsessed with mouths and teeth. He used to ask us to open our mouths and he would examine all our teeth veryyyy carefully. Sometimes he wanted to brush them for us. I always said he’s going to be a dentist lol but it lowkey kinda freaks me out?
He recently started drawing, which I’m super proud of, but all he draws are monsters and mouths 😅
Is this as unusual as I think it is? He’s my oldest, so I’m still learning! Here’s some of his drawings that he made today. They’re all supposed to be open mouths with teeth.

Sometimes, even after all the chaos and headaches, screaming and tantrums, it's worth it with these little moments when they do something that takes you off guard and do something that you never thought they could achieve. My youngest,iris 6 F, is non verbal. She screams (sad AND happy). I work, and my fiance is with her most of the time, even though I work as a support worker, I'm away for a day or three at a time because of sleepovers and whatnot.

My partner is extremely good with the kids (6F,7F,and 14M) mostly foregoing her own health and well-being for them. I take the kids to most appointments (OT, speech and the like) but she is very much with them all of the time. I've taken to cooking, the kitchen is kind of my domain now, and it still does not seem like enough.

We don't get too much time together, but not too long ago, I asked her to marry me (after 10 years) and I don't regret that at all.

Anyway, we both where excited and happy that some things seem to be getting through. Today, at the school that can only take handle her for two hours a day, let me know she wrote her name. It was four letters and the closest thing I have seen her attempt with writing. (My partners son was the same, he did not attempt enything before the age of 6 before having a firm grasp).

She even came down for a car ride and interacted with my nan for arguably the first time because we where on a long car trip. (She was yelling eeee and nan was responding in kind and Iris was over the moon and smiling) she also stayed at my parents place over the weekend (with me of course she wouldnt go anywhere without mum or dad). I cherish these moments, sure it's difficult a lot of the time, but times where things you have been trying to teach or even things you did not know that they knew shine through and make it all seem worthwhile.

Sorry for a rant, it's been tough lately, and this made me feel good for a change. She is currently upstairs knocking on her bedroom door, because that is how she communicates that she wants something and gets our attention. I'm preparing myself to put her to bed, because it usually takes two or three hours, and it is tiring, I can't always do it either because Iris won't let me because she seems to prefer mum. We also don't get to sleep as much because iris will randomly wake up and go downstairs and scream for no apparent reason. (I do always trail and error taking first water, food and then checking if she's warm or cold sometimes it isnt any of those things).

I hope this jumble of words makes sense, I am appreciative and resentful of my kids both at the same time, I barely had any previous experience before meeting my partners kid, he is the reason I'm in the work I do now, and I have been jaded and with a chip on my shoulder for the longest time. I love my work and my kids and I don't know what I would do without them.

I’m at a loss and embarrassed that my level-1 diagnosed 6 y/o son is the bully in his class, and not really sure what to do.

First, I have to give his teacher a lot of respect. She’s been helping my son so much. I made sure to provide her with his diagnosis paperwork, and she’s been so patient with him, and trying to find solutions for him in the class.

My son though is an absolute monster. He’s disruptive in class, pushes other kids around on the playground, alienated everyone in his class where I hear he has no friends, and is also very behind everyone else in his class in academics (he still doesn’t know basic arithmetic nor can he read, despite me investing in a Montessori for him since he turned 1).

There were two especially frustrating events this week.

1) There’s an ABA councilor at the school that helps him occasionally (between her helping other ASD kids). During the week, he said he got a gun from my wife, and that he’ll shoot up the school. Neither my wife nor I have a gun, but obviously this set things off at the school, and the principal called child services to check on our home (I think that’s the right call). My guess is he heard about the Bend, Oregon shooting, and the seriousness just didn’t resonate with him where he thought it was a joke.

2) Apparently, he punched a teacher’s aide in her ribs. He’s young, so not that strong, but apparently it was strong enough where it left a bruise on the aide.

I’ve been reading books about ASD parenting, and feel like I’ve tried everything to help him with no results. I’ve rewarded positive behavior, talked to him slowly about treating others with respect, etc., but he’s shown no change since we officially got him diagnosed at 3.

I really don’t know what to do to correct his behavior. Is it just to hope that he grows out of it? I do have him signed up for external ABA services, but he’s on a waiting list that’s 4 months out.

Any advice? I’m just so tired.

I'm a newly single parent to an autistic child (10), their dad unexpectedly passed away in July of this year. I've been reading tons of books on grief, loss, emotions. The school adjustment counselor has also been extremely helpful. I'm on several waitlists for therapy. He tells me that he understands what has happened but I just don't know if that's true. I'm having an unimaginably difficult time processing this loss so I can't even imagine the pain and sorrow he's going through. I've tried to keep routines as close to normal as possible but I find that he has been regressing very quickly. Some independent skills that we never had to help with is difficult for him now. and behaviorally has been more angry, which is leading to be very physical. I was wondering if anyone had any resources or recommendations that they've used personally? I've gotten everything I could online already.

Single mom no support and my 5 year old doesn’t seem to be getting better. He has made progress like potty training and more words but still only one word. He screams randomly all day, we can never go anywhere because he will have a meltdown. My 16 year old had Homecoming yesterday and on our way to get his haircut his brother was screaming and my older som said quiet I’m tired of you. It really hurt my feelings but I get it. I had a respite worker but she keeps calling out. I had to start working part time and I barely get any sleep because his sleep schedule sucks. I have developed a skin condition and stress makes it worst. I have cries everyday this past week. There is no village and dad doesn’t see him as often since his older kids seem to not like my child and I didn’t want him there since he cant talk. I’m rambling but I’m exhausted. I love him but I’m miserable. Lost all my friends, confidence, career. I feel hopeless and he is only 5

You may remember some of my previous posts about dealing with my little hair-puller... Sadness about maybe needing to cut my hair and the dawning of a flesh colored hijab cap thingy that made me look somewhat phallic... I am back to share what I have found that really seems to work without making me look like a crazy person (in case it similarly helps someone else).

The magic can be found in a slouchy beany hat with pony tail hole. Basically, I put my hair in a high bun (half pulled through ponytail), and wear the hat all the way pulled down to cover my hair when I'm with my son and then sort of roll it back to show some of my hair when he's not in grasping range (to look more like a style choice and not a safety choice). The hair knot on top serves to anchor the hat so he can't pull it off. So far he hasn't tried to go for the bun itself, but even if he did I don't think he could really do as much damage. I also shaved the nape of my neck so there was no long hair that could be grabbed there, but he honestly hasn't tried so long as the hair is covered.

(Also, before all the comments - we have tried everything with behavior management over the past decade to stop the pulling to no avail. Avoiding the issues has worked better for us.)

My son is 6, autistic (“level 2”/low verbal) and has ARFID/extremely limited diet. He's had stool withholding for about 3 years, and it's gotten a lot worse this year. FWIW when we first potty trained he had no issues with pooping, would reliably have a bristol 3 or 4 every day. But over time it’s gotten worse and worse.

Right now he's having 20+ small smeared stools a day, always standing up, as he won’t sit for more than a few minutes on the toilet. Stool ends up everywhere, and no real bowel movement. We are afraid to take him anywhere because of the constant accidents, afraid to send him to school, etc and it’s making everyone’s life miserable…

What we've tried:

- MiraLAX: he can taste it even in juice and refuses it.
- Magnesium citrate gummies and Senokot Kids: mostly refused.
- Chocolate Ex-Lax: the only thing he reliably takes. Tried for 2 weeks but the diarrhea was so bad we had to stop, didn’t have any impact beyond that.
- Ex-Lax + MiraLAX per GI for about a week: 10+ liquid, uncontrollable accidents a day. We stopped, and the leaking kept going.
- Glycerin suppository: watery stool only.
- Enema in the ER: it took 4 nurses plus us to hold him down. It was traumatic and didn't work.

His X-ray showed scattered stool throughout the colon, but no impaction. We were told a sedated manual clean-out won't help because the stool isn't low enough to reach. An NG tube clean-out isn't realistic…he can hardly tolerate a blood pressure cuff let along tubing for 2-3 days.

Every doctor and nurse line gives us the same advice (MiraLAX, diet, enemas), and none of it works for a kid who can't swallow meds or tolerate procedures.

Has anyone been in a similar spot? I'd especially love to hear about:
- Laxatives or delivery methods your picky or sensory kid actually accepted
- Motility clinics, manometry, Botox, or electrical stimulation (TENS/IFC) for constipation
- Getting a clean-out done for a kid who can't do oral meds, tubes, or enemas
- How long it took to see real improvement

Thank you. We're exhausted and running out of ideas.

I’ll go first . Just now I had to tell my 5 year old . ‘We don’t eat the soap holder’ during bath . There’s so many more but that’s most recent.

I understand that this is a controversial topic in the autism community, but I am at a loss and looking for advice on how to wean my son off.

For some background, he has had a tablet since he was 3 and he will be 8 in February. At first, it was only a tablet. When it would die, he would play with his toys or watch a movie on the tv. In the last 2 years, he now has both a phone and a tablet. When one dies, he uses the other. Horrible, I know. I used to work from home and needed him to be distracted while I worked. I have no one to blame but myself.

As he’s gotten older, he’s become more aggressive. I don’t want him to be on meds because it doesn’t seem like it’s an issue that needs medication to be fixed. It’s become apparent that him having unlimited screen time is the cause.

How have any of you limited screen time from them having unlimited access or how have you completely taken it away? I just turned off the service for the phone, so that’s the first step, but any other helpful advice would be appreciated.

My son is 5, nonverbal but friendly. He has been participating one day a week this school year at an all-outdoor forest preschool, in addition to 3 days a week of special ed, and it has been soooo good for him. It's mostly NT kids and he is by far the highest support needs kid. He attends with an aide, mostly for communication support and as an additional layer of safety. He hasn't been a behavioral problem there. He loves it, is excited to go, and the teachers and kids really are good to him and seem to genuinely like him. But now we are running into a problem where it's getting chilly and he will need to wear a sweatshirt and then eventually a winter coat. It will get legitimately too cold to be in a t-shirt here, and I don't think he'll be able to continue if we can't get him to dress appropriately for the weather. And every year it takes weeks and weeks to even get him into long sleeves. Complete sensory meltdown, screaming, hitting, etc (and he's not a kid who hits normally). This year it is especially bad. Any advice? In past years we've just really taken our time and not pushed it, but I really, really want this to work out for him. It brings him so much joy and it's the first community outside of special ed that has actually been accepting of him. He is so socially engaged when he is there. I've been rubbing his arms and neck with the inside of the sweatshirt and he likes that. He'll even wear the sleeves for up to 20 seconds without fuss, and then it seems more like he just wants his hands back so he can keep playing, not that he doesn't like the material. But putting on the whole sweatshirt? Forget it. Once it goes over the head he looses it. What tips do you guys have about how to make the transition into winter clothing easier?

So my first born is autistic. I was suspicious before he was a year.
My second is 15 months old. I’ve been hyper fixated on his milestones naturally. I don’t have the same worries of autism with him, he’s on tract social/emotional & communication. But his motor skills have always been behind. They mentioned low tone previously. He spent almost 3 weeks in the nicu also.

So he’s not walking. I’m stressed. He can’t even stand independent not holding onto anything for support. So I’m waiting for early intervention to see if he qualifies. But of course the coordinator casually asked about CP. Which of course sent me into a spiral. So now it’s another wait and see game apparently. I asked his pediatrician and he said it’s way too early to diagnose that. So now I’m in the same situation with my first and hoping someone would take my autism concerns seriously for years. Which mind you took till he was 2.5 years old.

I work with him so much. I’m trying so hard. On top of juggling my firsts needs. And I just can’t stop spiraling. The worry of not only will I have a developmentally disabled child, but possibly now a physically disabled child is killing me. Obviously of course, no matter what I love them and I’ll handle it. But Jesus Christ why can’t anything just be easy.

I remember when my first was diagnosed, one of my thoughts was that I’d have to monitor for autism with my second. But now it’s something else entirely that I don’t know much about. Life just really wants to keep it interesting I guess

My son told me that when I get upset he is afraid of me and thats why he doesnt like being around me and spending time with me. I struggled with depression and was angry a lot when my kids were little and worked hard on myself and he knows this. Yet he brings it up a lot. Any moms out there who have been able to gain their adult child’s trust?

My 5-year-old son, who has Level 2 autism and is currently in ABA 40 hours a week, is generally very easygoing, sleeps well, and is non-verbal with a 4-word vocabulary. However, he frequently jumps and flaps his hands when happy, which leads to uncomfortable stares in public.

Could you please share strategies or guidance on how to manage or decrease his happy stimming?.

My sons has his assessment coming up in two days and just making some notes on behaviours and things i notice. My son is 3.7 and has never in his life been obssessed with something enough to like sit and play for more than 10 minutes. He doesnt care for any toys but loves his bike, and scooter, trampoline just movement stuff. His attention span is like 1-3 minutes long according to preschool. He jumps from toy to toy. I feel like he has ADHD for sure but i also see autism traits. What was your childs play and attention like at 3-4?

Curious what others do for their toddlers or kids bedtime routine, or how to keep them on somewhat of a decent schedule. Also just looking for suggestions on how to keep a toddler from getting too dysregulated at bedtime.

My 4 year old son’s sleep has been a struggle since he was a baby. We started co sleeping out of desperation when he was about 6 months old. He will sleep long stretches but will wake up and need to lay on me or next to me to fall back asleep. It’s something we would love to work on.

But the biggest struggle is going to bed at a decent time. He is a night owl and struggles with falling asleep before 10pm. Even when he is exhausted and over tired. We sometimes worry that we start his bedtime routine too late and that leads him falling asleep too late. We briefly would use melatonin in the past but noticed it would lead to a cranky day/just off behaviors- so we stopped using it.

Tonight was an especially awful night. He didn’t go to bed til around midnight last night . My husband and I had a party and my mom wasn’t able to get him to sleep (We never go out at night because of his sleep issues, but decided to attend a friends Halloween party - it blew up in our face). He woke up this morning at 8:30, and def. seemed tired for most of the day. So we tried moving up his bedtime routine earlier and aimed for a 8:15/8:30 time frame to be in bed with the lights dimmed. He refused to lay in his bed and got really upset at moments when we tried bringing him back to bed. He almost seemed like he had an aversion to laying in bed. He would get upset if we tried to lay him in bed (something not typical of him). I gave him reset breaks where he played with some puzzles, but he just would not fall asleep or lay in bed. Even though I knew he was exhausted. He ended up falling asleep on a pillow I placed on the bedroom floor at 10:30.The whole process took 2 hours and it felt very draining.

Those with toddlers or 5 years olds- how much sleep is your child getting? What is their bedtime routine like? Are you following any specific wake window? I always feel like I’m either dealing with a kid who isn’t tired at all so bedtime takes forever or a child whl is so exhausted and overtired that he can’t fall sleep and is dysregulated. Any help is appreciated! Thanks!

A while ago I asked for ideas here on how to plan a birthday party around my son's special interest of exit signs. And there were so many wonderful ideas shared, I wanted to give an update. He had a Race to the Exit obstacle course party, and had a blast! In the past birthdays were a little challenging. He would often get over stimulated and melt down. Or collect all the balloons and not want to share. Today we had over 40 family and friends come to celebrate and it was so amazing to watch him he play, talk, share, and, yes, make a quick recovery from a mild upset of not wanting to get out of the obstacle course 😆 overall just so proud of my guy. Thank you again to this great community!

I'm just sharing in case it helps, he's been gone about 2 days now. Please if you live around this area, keep your eyes out!

I’ve aged what looks like 20 years. My son is on a boat load of meds. We see doctors ever week for adjustments. They just can’t get it right. We even did a trial period of no meds and that was a nightmare. He goes 2-3 days in a row with no sleep at all then on the 3rd or 4th day he will crash for maybe 2-3 hours then will be up at 2-3 am and the process repeats. Hospital has given him adult dosages of versed with no effect. He’s only 7. He has this need to climb up furniture and jump off of it. It’s getting harder to contain him. It’s dangerous just for me to take my eyes off of him for 5 minutes to take a shower. We’ve exhausted every avenue. Every treatment even stem cells. Nothing has helped. I feel like my body is giving out from the lack of sleep. The lack of urgency of recognizing how horrible the quality of life is for family’s with a child with severe autism is so alarming. This isn’t the autism is a super power kind of autism. We are struggling here. Our local respite offices have told us they are all at capacity.

Would you send your SEN child to school if they have been awake since 2am?

Prefacing this with the reason he has been awake is he has a stuffy nose and hates the sensation. He is not wake doing anything other than laying in bed sniffing his nose every few seconds. Also we are in the UK.

My 7.5yo son likely won’t go back to sleep now since beinf awake since 2am. His school day is 8:30-3:15 and he would likely be fine all day in terms of staying awake at school, but get home and begin to crash around 4-5pm. He will be grumpy, not do any school work likely and generally have worsened behaviour. If I allow him to nap for even 10mins after school, he would then be awake until 12-1am. I know this because it’s been happening all his life !

The school “rules” state there is no reason for him to not go in, it is a simple cold that is causing the stuffy nose.

I battle every time with making what feels like the right moral choice. Send him in, then pay the price after school myself with him at home or keep him off and hope he naps earlier. The biggest worry is his worsened behaviour at school when he is likely tired - I can already envisage the “he’s had a bad day” conversation at pick up.

Has anyone got advice/been through similar?

Thanks 🙏🏼

EDIT - forgot to add that his younger siblings go to sake school and he will likely see them go and want to go with them. He doesn’t like ‘missing out’ so this is another issue I have. Deal with the meltdown he will have for me keeping him at home even tho it’s in his best interest or let him go in

Hi everyone! I’m not a parent, but I’m the cousin of an 8-year-old (soon turning 9) autistic boy, and I’m hoping to get some advice from parents of autistic children or autistic people who might be able to help me better understand his behavior.

Whenever my cousins come over to spend the weekend at my grandmother’s house, or when I visit my uncle, I notice that one of my cousin’s (whose autistic) spends a lot of time on his iPad watching movies and shows. He frequently rewatches the same scenes over and over, laughs at the same parts each time (sometimes his laughter seems a little forced to me, although I could be misinterpreting it), and loudly repeats the dialogue from those scenes himself.

Sometimes, he repeats the same lines even when he isn’t watching anything on his iPad. He also makes grunting noises that seem to happen when he’s frustrated like when his iPad gets taken away or when he doesn’t get his way.

I’ll admit that I…haven’t always handled this well. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the loud repetition and end up raising my voice and telling him to stop. (I get overwhelmed with loud noises) He’ll usually stop for a little while, but then start again a minute later when I look away. I’ve also threatened to take his iPad away or call his parents to get him to stop. I feel guilty about reacting this way, especially because I don’t fully understand why he does these things in the first place.

I want to do better and learn how to respond more patiently and gently. I’m wondering if anyone could help me understand why he might repeat the same scenes and dialogue so frequently, whether it serves a particular purpose for him, and how I can help him manage his volume when it becomes overwhelming for the people around him.

I don’t want to make him feel like he’s doing something wrong or discourage him from expressing himself. At the same time, I’m hoping to find a way to manage the noise without constantly telling him to stop or threatening to take things away.

For parents of autistic children or autistic adults who experienced similar behaviors growing up, what approaches have worked for you? How can I be more understanding while also teaching him to be mindful of his volume?