My host mom have been overworking me ever since the 2nd week I got here I have been working 14 plus hour shifts the other day I worked from 7:00am to 11:00pm and the next day she had me work from 6:00 am to 5: 00pm and sometimes I will do 24 hour workdays with the baby overnight and she expects me to work the next day.

She has been cutting my 200$ pay in half so I get 80$-100$ sometimes when I don’t work more than 30 hours that week if she leaves for a weekend or something.

She has two kids and a dog and I also clean and do laundry and groceries. I don’t know what to do I’m supposed to be here for a year and now I’m supposed to start working with her ex husband I asked for more money because I’d be working like a full 6 days a week and they only increased it by 100$

I don’t know what to do and I’m not familiar with the rules of being an au pair

The other day she went out and said she would be back at 10:00pm so around 10:30 I asked her where she was and she said she was gonna go for a drink and be back later I asked her to be back by 12:00 and then she said I was taking advantage of her and she came back at 3:00 am with a man so I had to keep the baby in my room all night after working from 7:00 am to 3:00 am 😀. I genuinely started to think I was the problem she plays the divorced sad card often on me so I don’t question her.

I feel bad leaving her but I might have to.

I wanted to update you to share the madness of this situation and at the same time to hear your opinions. As you advised me, I called my agency’s hotline this morning to let them know the conditions I’m in, so I have no more food except milk and cereals, and that I want to leave immediately and enter the rematch. My agency told me to call my LCC (the last person I wanted to hear from, because she was always very hostile and defensive towards me, defending the host family). So I called her and explained the situation, and she, with a presumptuous way told me that I’m fine, that I live in an depandance, that I have nothing to complain about. And that I can safely go out and buy some food. So I pointed out that it’s not my job to have to pay for food but it’s that the family has to provide me with three meals a day and she told me that mine is a great family and that I definitely have food in my room. I told her that I don’t have a kitchen or anything and then she told me that she didn’t know this and that this is not very good, but she told me that anyway they are a wonderful family, and it’s definitely not an emergency. She told me that she has no family to move me to temporarily. That from Monday I will enter the rematch. I told her that before closing this situation I want to be sure that I have the money I am entitled to last week because I worked and I did not accept and signed for any deduction and this is an illegal thing. She told me that she is working for this, but anyway that my final goal must not be money. And I told her that this has nothing to do with it because I worked for that money I’m not asking anyone for a favor. So she told me that she will take care of it and that in any case for the next two weeks that I will be in rematch they have to pay me the state minimum ($195) and I will not work. In my opinion this is a really crazy situation because the agency should intervene immediately if an au pair does not have access to food and cooking and is in this type of condition. Instead she made me pass like the person who complains about the wonderful family. And no one will intervene to take note of what this family is doing to me.

NEW UPDATE: she called me again, saying she had informed the family that I will go to a rematch. Not mentioning that they have to pay me for those two weeks. I asked her, and she told me that they know that but that they can pay me whenever they want. To which I said it’s not true and she answered me for the umpteenth time that I have to stop thinking about money and then she says: “OMG I don’t have time for this, have a good weekend.”

Has anyone recently experienced changes to their car insurance policies for insuring au pairs as drivers on their policy?

Recently changed au pairs and called USAA to update our insurance with the new au pair. USAA informed me their underwriting requirements for caregivers recently changed, and the au pair is only allowed to use the vehicle as part of their official work duties. Has anyone experienced something similar lately?

We haven’t had good luck with au pairs as drivers generally, every one of our four au pairs has blatantly lied about their driving experience only to show up unable to drive at a reasonable standard, so I can’t say I’m surprised insurers are getting more strict. Just curious if other hosts are hearing the same thing.

We are a host family with an infant trying to estimate a budget for an Au Pair in the SF Bay Area, California.

May I get some feedback please. I would be a first time host and trying to plan accordingly in case there are some surprises I'm not financially prepared for.

Note: Our stipend is higher because we are searching for higher qualifications and are factoring in the HCOL.

Expense Category |Monthly Cost |Annual Cost |Details / Notes
Weekly Cash Stipend |$1,300.00 |$15,600 |$300/week for 52 weeks.
Agency Placement Fee |$1,083.33 |$13,000 |$13k agency fee.
Auto Insurance & Gas |$500.00 |$6,000 |Auto policy rider + local driving gas allowance.
Groceries / Food |$300.00 |$3,600 |Meals
Gym Membership |$150.00 |$1,800 |Monthly fitness club membership perk.
iPhone Hardware |$125.00 |$1,500 |One-time smartphone purchase.
Driving Lessons |$125.00 |$1,500 |Professional mountain driving lessons upon arrival.
Cell Phone Plan |$120.00 |$1,440 |Monthly mobile carrier service line.
Education Allowance |$83.33 |$1,000 |Mandatory college course contribution.
Phone Line Setup |$10.83 |$130 |One-time device/line activation fee.
Hidden: Vacations/Travel |$250.00 |$3,000 |Flights/hotel rooms when they join family trips.
Hidden: CA Taxes & WC |$66.67 |$800 |Household employer EDD filing & workers' comp.
Bedroom Setup |$33.33 |$400 |Linens, duvet, mattress pad, hangers.
Bonuses & Gifts |$83.33 |$1000 |Birthday gift, holiday bonus, performance milestones
TOTAL ALL-IN COST |~$4,230.83/ mo |$50,770 / year |Total out-of-pocket spend.

Edited: Total All-IN Cost

Hi! As the title says, I'm planning to au pair in Denmark. I'm generally interested in Nordic countries because of the great work-life balance, good healthcare, LGBT and women's rights, and the overall treatment of people with dignity worthy of a dignified life (unlike here in the Philippines huhu). I need advice if anyone here has positive experiences in au pairing in Denmark? What are the pros and cons and were you able to stay after your au pair contract ends? If yes, how so? Or do you know a legal pathway to stay? Thank you!

Hello!

I’m looking to become a first time Au Pair. I recently graduated from a US Community college, and I’m looking to up my language skills in French to bolster my potential graduate school applications. I have a few things playing against me so I’m just curious about what former male Au Pairs found works best.

- 19M
- Non-EU
- looking for particular family (predominantly school age boys, French speaking region)

I do have a few pros, like 800+ hours of childcare experience as an After School Teacher, First aid & drivers license, instructional teacher certificate, etc. The basics that come with working in the US with school age children. Curious which has worked for y’all in the past, a lot of videos online are years out of date.