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I'm 23M, and I've lost all my peace of mind. Everything is chipping it away.

First. I grew up in a home where things were always tight. I got all the necessities, but I don't remember having any of my wants met. I heard my dad say, "I don't have anything" so many times. My mother would cry and tell me, "Whatever happens, don't just sit at home. Earn."

And I did it. I got a job where I earn in a month what many people earn in a year. But right now, layoffs are happening left and right in my company, and I might be next. The market is so bad that I'm not even landing interviews with companies that pay the same or even slightly less.

Then my girlfriend broke up with me. I was working 10–15 hours a day because of the fear of layoffs. I even got calls on weekends and had to take them. My girlfriend left me because I wasn't able to give her time, and because of a few other fights that arose from me not being able to give her time and the fact that she felt I didn't care about her.

I care about everyone who's important to me. The problem is that I care way too much.

My thinking is that, for the closest people in your life, you should take care of them, and they should take care of you, and vice versa. I just want to be the pillar everyone can rely on. I want to make everyone feel safe.

P.S. I never felt safe in my entire life. I have never felt that if everything goes wrong, someone will be there to protect me and help me back up.

My parents are good people, but they're broken themselves. They just want me to do things according to them. They have opinions about everything I should do, even the minutest things, like how to eat my food and what to do while travelling. But when it comes to major life decisions like jobs, taxes, and investments, they just say, "Figure it out yourself. You know this better."

I spent my life waiting for guidance, waiting for support. I want them to tell me important things in life as well.

This brings me back to safety. I want the people who depend on me, and even those close to me, to be safe if anything happens to them. I want them to know that they can ask me anything they're confused about, and I'll help them with it.

My girlfriend broke up with me saying that I don't care because I don't keep asking about every small thing or decision she makes. But that's because I want to give her the freedom I never got. My parents used to question everything I did, and everything I needed to do was supposed to be done their way.

I'm a mess inside my head. I don't know how I'll fix myself, or how to fix myself enough to be with someone and keep them happy with me.

Because if I open up about all the things I feel, I become a crying mess. My emotions just open up, and I lose all control over myself.

I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to feel safe, have some peace of mind, and learn how to be okay with myself.

For those who've been through something similar, how did you deal with it? How do you learn to open up about your feelings without becoming completely overwhelmed?

19f. So my dad is fantasizing about the idea of kicking me out just because he thinks I'm not a sociable person. He said that if he had the money to, he'd pay for me to get an apartment and then kick me out.

I find that unfair, especially because I'm working a job that can't even pay half of what rent looks like here.

But I'm making this post just in case he does, because he keeps bringing it up. Mom said that he doesn't mean it, and that she understands I want independence too, so that's why they'd pay for me to get an apartment.

I'm saving up to build my own business (enterprise; i paid attention to what people mostly by at the local enterprise and decided to open one myself since that one can get extremely busy at times. don't wanna wait? come to mine then) and build an apartment on top of that business.

No, I'm not asking for money. I just want advice on what to do if i get kicked out. I can't get any other job because I'm an HS dropout and it costs a fortune to get a GED, or even a certificate in something.

Any and every advice is something I'm looking forward to.

About my parents, if this helps;

They're from the caribbean. Mom kind of "spoils" me because she understands certain things, while my dad wants me to get out of that "mentality."

I work for my dad. He has a farm where he plants stuff and sells charcoal. I usually help with anything he wants, such as making and bagging the charcoal, chasing animals out the fields, and sometimes putting poison in certain areas to get rid of weed and insects.

Now about me:

Again, I cannot get a job. Plus most places here pay less than 300 ghc (about 28 usd) a month, and an apartment can be 1000+ ghc (about 90 usd) a month. I only make 500-800 ghc (44-72 usd) a month.

I have a fever right now, so i can't work. I'm supposed to be working all week this week, but I feel a little weak and my nose is extremely runny. I'm going to get medicine when I can afford it. I'm still trying to push myself though, since I'm going to work tomorrow.