I’m about 2 months into full on recovery now. Some days my muscles burn!! I’m low activity but slowly being able to do things like make microwave meals and help my SO make dinner or do an easy chore. My muscles feel like I need to tense them, like they are uncomfortable enough to be aware of them.

I read an article that even after restored weight, muscles/skeletal muscle loss are more long lasting.

So those of you who are years into recovery, have you noticed any differences in your muscles or strength?
I’m very curious about any experience you’ve had with strength, muscle, aches & pains, relief, etc…!!

So i've been somewhat recovered for a few years now. I mean i never classically recovered with medical assistance because I rejected the help of psychiatrists when I was deep in my ed and didn't want to recover and gain weight. I recovered pretty naturally and instinctively, I started binging and gained weight, and when i went back to a healthy weight the binges just stopped and after several years I achieved balanced eating habits with a normal weight. Although I DEFINITELY don't have the same mecanisms and thoughts as I did back then, I'm still not comfortable gaining too much weight and being overweight or even not in the higher range of a healthy bmi. Im not obsessive anymore, I dont feel the need to lose weight, I don't restrict and eat what i want and when I want. However I happen to feel some nostalgia sometimes when I think about the eras when I was deep into my ed. I know I don't really want to go back there as I'm not a preteen anymore it would mess my adult life so much. But I still feel so drawn to that era of my life where I was on edtwt and my main concern was losinf weight, and the happiness of reaching a goal, and that sort of dramatic depressing feeling. Maybe that's just my natural tendancy to romanticize everything and feel nostalgic of every 6 months I live. But sometimes I wonder if that's a consequence of never properly recovering and healing the underlying issues that caused my ed

i want people to recognize that im struggling and save me of their own volition, but ofc they won't know i need help if i dont tell them. but... i just cant make myself ask for help. even then, theyll ask how they can help me. i dont know! its humiliating to be suffering this much and not know the way out.

so, how can i help people to help me? do i give them certain behaviors to look out for, and how to correct them? what are loved ones supposed to do during recovery?

this is my first time trying to recover instead of letting it go dormant in the past, so im so lost

So I’ve been in my “fuck this shit” part of recovery where eating has been quite easy and I’ve been challenging A LOT of foods and felt great tbh.

However this morning I woke up with a noticeably larger stomach, it doesn’t feel like bloating and I’m not constipated. I’ve felt so discouraged all day and unfortunately haven’t fueled my body well.
I fear tomorrow and the upcoming week, because I feel like my ED is now in full swing again.
I know I shouldn’t have checked my stomach, but part of the reason why I’ve been having an easier time eating is because I noticed my stomach wasn’t changing that drastically (except for today ofc).

Does anyone have any advice on what to do? Because I feel absolutely foreign and disgusted in my body rn :( especially since it’s only my stomach that has changed, my face and limbs still look gaunt and stick thin …

has anyone else felt like this? i keep getting flashbacks to when i was at my lowest, i feel traumatised

september-december 2025 was the worst time of my entire life, my anorexia was at its peak. i lost count of how many suicide attempts i had, i was having screaming crying meltdowns every single day + self harming all the time

i actually enjoyed december last year, but i still have such a huge feeling of dread when i remember it. i was at my all time lowest weight and hardly eating anything, and i think i was much closer to death than i realised, so now my body has a visceral reaction of dread and terror when i think about that time

it's upsetting because autumn/winter has always been my favourite time of year, but now it's ruined by anorexia. i was shopping earlier and saw christmas decorations and felt a pit of dread in my stomach because it reminds me of being ill

it's also strange because despite being traumatised by it, i also want to go back more than anything. i would do anything to be at my lowest weight again, but relapse terrifies me, i don't know if i could survive going through that again. and my body won't let me lose weight anyway, hunger triggers flashbacks and i end up eating out of fear