I honestly don’t even know how to feel about this and I need some outside perspective because I keep going back and forth between feeling violated and wondering if maybe I’m making too big a deal out of it. I’ve been dealing with ongoing health issues and have been feeling extremely tired lately. Yesterday I finally had a little moment to myself to relax and do something for myself. I was lying on my stomach with a pillow, just having a private moment to myself. He knows this is what I’m comfortable with and what works for me. My boyfriend was there working on his computer, and because I’m self conscious about it but also wanted a moment to myself, I specifically asked him to look away and give me privacy. I didn’t just ask once either, I confirmed with him many many times that he wasn’t looking, and every time he reassured me that he wasn’t.
Last night I had to use his phone for something and found a video of me from that exact moment. I had absolutely no idea he had recorded me. My heart froze and dropped to my stomach and I didn’t know what to do. I’m honestly still in shock. The video showed me in a very private moment and what makes it worse is that I had specifically made sure he wasn’t watching. I trusted what he kept telling me. My immediate reaction was to ask him, “Baby, WTF is this? Why did you record this?” but I was so shocked that I didn’t really know how to react. I ended up deleting the video, so I don’t even know exactly how long it was. I left his place I had someone pick me up and then I texted him. When I brought it up he told me he recorded it as a joke because he thought it looked funny and wanted to show me afterward so we could laugh about it together. He said he didn’t intend it for anything else and that he got busy working on his project and forgot to show me which is why I found it myself. He also admitted that he had peeked at me here and there, even though I’d repeatedly asked him not to look and he’d repeatedly told me he wasn’t. I genuinely cannot understand how he thought this was something we’d look back on and laugh about together. It’s not like he discovered something new about me. He already knows me intimately, and he knew I wanted privacy. I don’t understand why he thought recording me without my knowledge was okay, especially after reassuring me so many times that he wasn’t looking. He apologized and said he was sorry, that his intention was lighthearted, that he’d never do it again, and that he now understood how much it affected me. But what made this even harder was that the conversation eventually shifted to him and his own struggles. He started talking about how everyone else has it easier, how he feels intellectually inferior to other people, how difficult everyday life is for him, and how he’s struggling to maintain his relationships. He said he feels like he’s slowly giving up the fight and asked me not to leave him alone. I ended up feeling like I had to comfort him and reassure him, even though I was the one who had just discovered something really upsetting. I do care about him, and I know he’s struggling, but I haven’t even had time to process what happened to me. Now I’m questioning myself constantly. Part of me wonders if he genuinely thought it was a funny joke and didn’t mean to hurt me. Another part of me feels deeply uncomfortable and violated, especially because I had gone out of my way to confirm that he was looking away. I was so shocked that I arranged for someone to pick me up, but then I started wondering if I was making too big a deal out of it and whether I should just stay with him.I don’t know if I’m being too harsh or if I’m minimizing something that is actually a big deal because I want to believe his explanation. I also don’t know whether the fact that he apologized and promised not to do it again should change how I feel about it. So Reddit am I overreacting? Is this something you could forgive your partner for if they genuinely thought it was a joke, or would this be a dealbreaker for you? Is it reasonable for me to still feel violated even if he says he had no bad intentions? I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions because I’m having a hard time trusting my own judgment right now.

I’m in college 23F and one of my friends has been hyping up a so called surprise gift she had for me especially since she missed my birthday 2 months ago saying that she had a “great gift” that I would love and be able to put to use. The day comes and she presents her old bedsheets from her dorm last year she wasn’t using anymore that she had washed and her old mattress topper saying she wanted to give that to me as a present. I of course was very confused by this offer because I never really expressed needing new sheets or a mattress topper for my dorm. I did thank her for her offer however I didn’t accept it as it wouldn’t be put to use and I just felt like the effort wasn’t really there I would’ve accepted something smaller with more thought, and also I understand that she did wash and dry clean the bedsheets but something used many times shouldn’t be presented as a brand new surprise offer

To me a gift doesn’t matter on the quantity/size/price it’s about the effort and something that someone doesn’t expect. I also grew up with Asian parents and with my family background we aren’t rich however with gift giving for family/friends we don’t give anything cheap/low effort or give used stuff because it’s seen as an offense.

A little context about my friend, let’s just say she’s a type B personality person and doesn’t really think things through sometimes , her thought and effort is there but she doesn’t take it in mind and she does have self awareness saying “I know I’m a bad gift giver” as if gift cards aren’t the alternative solution.

My problem isn’t about whether someone gets me a gift , it’s that giving something low effort or offering something that you are trying to get rid of presenting it as a gift instead of a verbal offer like “oh do you need new sheets/mattress foam?”
It’s more like you were trying to declutter

Firstly, this is not a post that I’m looking for attention! I DO NOT want to see this on TikTok or whatever. But please listen to me objectively. So my ex and I will be H-husband-me W-Wife. About me: I’m a 41 y/o man. I’m politically left leaning, I’m a HYPER empath, and a feminist. Which is what makes this so hard and confusing.

W was a very fun, loving, but also very stubborn and set in her ways. We were both heavily involved in church, and we both taught Sunday school at our respective churches. Both in college, me for an arson investigator, and W for a teacher.

Now here’s the moral dilemma; she would be very playful and snuggly with my dad. Hanging off of his shoulder on the couch, laying her legs across his lap, and he would rub her feet. We’re a very affectionate family, not all feet rubbing affectionate 😅, but big on hugs, talking with one of our arm arms around others shoulder. I felt uncomfortable about it, but kept my peace, because this beautiful, with big almost black anime eyes, soft puffy kissable cheeks, auburn hair, and a thin 20 year old (I was 21 att) was mine! This angel loved me!

But one night, at my parents, she grabs my hand, takes me into my bedroom and proceeds to tell me that my dad touched her. At this point, we were both virgins and saving ourselves, buuuuut I got a decent “lay of the land” sans the lay.

But she told me that he was on the couch rubbing her feet, then her calves, until he was under her pants, over her panties. I balled my eyes out that night! My hero, the man who taught me to be kind, mannerly, to work hard for what I have. We’d frequently gather our tools and go help with our church, building ramps, replacing rickety stairs with brand new ones. We’d help rebuild floors for old ladies, help build houses when someone’s burned down, and this was the man who brought me up. How can I face him? How do I ask him about it? Would he really stab me in the back?

Two days later, he sat me down and confessed. His version was the pov equivalent of hers. No denying, no dreaming, my father S/A,d my fiancé!

She held this over my head for the next 9 years! Because I was busy going out to my truck to change the plugs and wires, but I didn’t come in-in time to stop him, because I didn’t see the signs of what he did, because I forgave him. I know, this is where my heart is ripping itself apart. Because he has always been the ideal role model! He went to work in the mines (Appalachia) with the flu, with broken ribs, multiple occasions of him leaving with popsicle sticks and black tape for broken fingers. And because of that, with his salary alone, we never went without, never knew what hungry was, went on vacations every 4th. We were a very blessed family, because of him.

But who am I to say that W, or anyone, deserved it?And I will say with a full chest that absolutely nothing absolves what my father did! Nothing justifies what he did! Nothing rights the wrong of what he did! And I will die on that hill! The matter has been dealt with within the family, and after time and therapy, we accepted it happened, but we agreed that hate is not going to undo what has been done.

Fast forward to 2018, she fell in love with a Mutual Single Friend named MF(fitting) that Christmas, she spent over $250 on him and his children, I got a backpack. I was LOOOOOOOONG since checked out in every conceivable way. I was just waiting on her to decide it’s worth leaving. 2019 FREEDOM

It’s been a very very long and painful road between then and now, until 2020, when I met and fell in love with the most amazing, hilarious, intelligent, empathetic, caring, and understanding woman I’ve ever known! And while her worth isn’t in her looks, being a model was a nice cherry on top of one massive milkshake. She’s helped me heal in so many ways, helped me discover me if that makes sense. We’re both AuDHD, both have CPTSD from prior relationships, we both understood what the other couldn’t put into words! We’re beyond happily married still, with our two beautiful children Salem and Lilo (6lb fluffy shits in box babies) unfortunately, we can’t have kids, which today, I’m thankful that I/we don’t. But I’ve been tested and I’m sterile, so yay no rubber, boo I’ll never be a biological father, and I’m not feeling sorry for myself, because being childless is how we’re surviving in 2026. Plus, if I’m being honest, I don’t even get a dog because I know I wouldn’t take care of it properly, as we are both borderline agoraphobic, and on SSRI’s, so she’s got an olive tint to her skin, I’m borderline transparent lol.

But back to HER. I was talking to my mom, who informed me that she had talked to W; not once, but twice! About her being to flirty, overly affectionate, and generally making me jealous about my own dad.

And for my parents, uuuuuum my bed was against the wall, perpendicular to theirs on the other side of the wall. I can laugh about this now, but they LOOOOOOVED each other! Not just in the bedroom, always doing DPA to the point we were grossed out as kids lol. To this day, he ALWAYS openes the door, regardless car, house etc. still pulls out her seat, to the point that she stops at the door with a big grin and waits on dad to open it.

But she was told to stop! TWICE! By my mother!!! And being the classy lady she was, I am just now the 3rd person to know about these conversations. W kept this from me! Blamed me! She destroyed me!!! 43 “attempts” over 9 years, and always feeling so broken and guilty. Before her, my longest relationship was 6 months, 4 years prior. But now I’m at this point where I’m DRIVING MYSELF INSANE because who am I to hate a victim of SA?! Because I have to factor in that, the incident could’ve very well genuinely traumatized her, and changed something in her. Maybe she pre-orchestrated everything!

Because, not physically of course, but I’m ready to rain down 9 years of righteous fury, and exposing her to everyone she loves, in a behind the scenes, in the shadows style coordinated Pearl Harbor attack.

Or would be cruel of me to do that to someone who was SA’d?

I know this was a lot and scattered. This is the first time I’m making a post like this, please help me get to an answer;

My boyfriend and I have been having a lot of disagreements lately. I often feel unheard and sometimes miss initiative and emotional support from his side. At the same time, he does a lot for me: he drives me to and from work, often cooks for me, and helps me whenever I need it. He is financially very well off, but I never accept money or expensive gifts from him because staying independent is important to me.
I also try my best to be there for him. Recently, after taking an important exam, I cancelled my plans to celebrate with my friends so I could help him at his store during a busy event. He was rebranding his business and had several influencers attending. His staff were new and everything was chaotic, so I put on work clothes and helped organise everything, and things eventually ran smoothly. I wanted to support him, but afterwards I didn’t really feel appreciated. I wanted to celebrate passing my exam with him the next day, but he went to meet his friends because they were having an argument among themselves. I know this was genuinely happening because I was aware of the situation. There have also been other difficult moments when I felt emotionally unsupported, such as when I had to go to the hospital alone for oncology-related examinations while he was helping his friends move. Maybe we don’t always understand each other’s emotional needs.
Recently, there was a misunderstanding when I walked past his store and didn’t greet him because I was still hurt. He felt uncomfortable about it, especially because of what his friends thought. I understand that my behaviour may have come across the wrong way, but I never intended to embarrass him.
He now says he doesn’t want to break up, but wants a week to think things through. A few days ago, during an argument, I was the one who suggested taking a week apart, but now that it’s actually happening, I realise I don’t want that at all. I told him that maybe we should just break up because I’m emotionally exhausted and find the uncertainty difficult to handle. I love him, but I also want to feel loved and chosen. I’ve told him that I don’t feel like a priority and that I feel he puts his friends before me. He says he wants to work on this.
What would you do in my situation? Would you give him that week, or would it be better to end the relationship? Please be honest, even if you think there are things I could have handled differently.

Hi everyone, I hope this is the right place to share this question.

My mom is 62 and I'm F(27). She always was the kind to spoil people with their favourite foods, she can't cook so well but she'll buy whatever you want if you say you like it.

My parents are overweight (my dad more than my mom) and are constantly dieting/failing diets. My mom still buys all the junk food my dad likes and then gets mad at him for eating it. She goes to the doctors to get a diet plan and then eats whatever she wants, when I say something about it she answers she doesn't like being controlled. The thing is their weight has consequences: my dad's knees are in bad shape and my mom has type 2 diabetes.

I try to enforce diets when I can, but they get offended and I give up. I am an average sized girl, I have a big bust and like sports so I'm not stick figure, but overall healthy. I care about what I eat: I have a sweet tooth so I try and limit sweets, I avoid cheese if I can because it makes me bloated and always try to eat at home (unless there's a special occasion to celebrate).

Here's the thing. My mom never commented on what I ate growing up, did she comment about my weight sometimes? Yes. In the past I gained 15 kg because of birth control and the next year I lost them all, in that time she asked me to step on the scale everyday. I didn't like it but it made sense since I was in a weight loss journey.

Now I'm at a healthy weight, I'm not strictly dieting and when I'm hungry I'll eat. My mom started to make little comments laughing "oh you're eating so much today" or "how many meatballs did you eat?" or "are you hungry? You're eating so much" or "are you sure it's not too much food to eat before the gym?" (This last one could also be fair if it wasn't that I wasn't eating a big portion). If I was eating more than usual I would know myself, I'm not. Then sometimes coming home from the grocery store she pops out something I like "I got this for you, I know you like it"...is it a trap? Is she going to treat me how she treats my dad?

So AIBTS

Ps: I don't live in the US, in my country it's perfectly normal to still live at home PLEASE PLEASE do not comment things like "move out" unless you're willing to buy me a house. Thank you all for reading.

I’ve been wondering about this for a while. Maybe it’s ego, or maybe it’s some other legitimate desire that I interpret as wanting to be someone’s favorite, although I’m not entirely sure what that desire really is.

For years, I’ve struggled with the feeling of being excluded and not being important enough to others, which leads me to question what is wrong with me.

I don’t want to play the victim. I’d like to know where to start when it comes to examining this issue, so I can grow and stop turning my relationships into places where I feel unsafe.

The most recent situation happened yesterday, at the birthday party of a friend I’ve had since I was 13. I’m 28 now.

We were always very close during our teenage years, to the point that everyone saw us as a duo. At some point during our adolescence, she made another friend whom she became very close to.

I felt left out because she started doing many more things with this friend, was very affectionate toward her, and even left me out of a birthday celebration while she went to celebrate with this friend and other people close to her. That hurt me a lot at the time.

We remained friends. We even lived together for a while, and eventually, we each moved to a different city to go to college, including her other friend.

Despite everything, I’ve always been a big part of this friend’s life. We’ve traveled together, and her family has welcomed me into their lives and is very fond of me.

Over time, despite all the signs that I’m important in her life, I’ve always found the emotional distance between us strange. Even though I’m always there for her events, I feel more like an object that’s simply there accompanying her than someone who is genuinely sharing those moments with her. We don’t have deep conversations, fun moments of our own that make us laugh together, or moments when it’s just the two of us that become meaningful, unique experiences in our friendship. I feel like she has that kind of connection with other people.

Anyway, that’s the context.

Yesterday was this friend’s birthday. I got a little emotional because she was turning 29, her last year in her twenties, and I felt happy reflecting on all the years we’ve known each other. I talked to her about how long we’ve been in each other’s lives, and she just gave me an awkward, half-hearted smile before going off to do other things.

At the time, I brushed it off, telling myself, “That’s just how she is,” and carried on with my evening.

A few minutes later, she was hugging this other friend, telling her how much she loved her. Then, when it was time to leave, that friend was going to leave with me, and my friend kept insisting that she stay, making a big deal out of how sad she would be if the other friend left.

I felt awful because she has never expressed herself that way toward me. I had missed her, and she didn’t seem to care. I felt a little foolish for traveling 200 km to see her, only to feel that she was indifferent to my presence.

I feel like I experience similar situations in my life from time to time. It makes me think that I’m the problem, but I don’t know where to begin if I want to change things. Can anyone help me?

(I feel deeply embarrassed sharing this because I’m 28 and feel childish for being hurt by something like this.)

Hello reddit! This is my first ever post so I apologize in advance if I did this wrong or something. But I just really needed some insight because I think I'm going crazy. To start, I'm not going to be using any real names and I will be very vague about certain details because I am terrified of people I know seeing this. I also apologize if this is very long and messily written, it's just so much 😭

So yeah I'll start with some context. I (18F) and my boyfriend (18M), who we'll just call B, have been dating for less than a year now (10 months to be exact). We've known each other since fifth grade, because I go to a charter school where many kids have been since kindergarten and stay until senior year. I met him in fifth grade when we both joined the school and we are currently in the beginning of our senior year. And since it is senior year many people are already planning fun things to do to make memories and stuff, which is info that will be important later. And there are these girls who go to school with me, we'll call them D(18F) and O(17F). D's mom and my boyfriend's mom are best friends, so they were always forced to hangout and do things together. Which I was aware of when me and B started dating, but it didn't really bother me because D and B never really talked at school, like I've known these people for years and I didn't even know they were family friends until me and B got together. And not to be mean but no one really cared about B until we started dating. B was always a quiet boy, never involved in drama, and had a small friend group. Which is one reason why I loved him so much in the beginning. And O, she was a really good friend of mine, like really good. But lately she's been changing, she's become kind of a pick me. She's very male centered now, and constantly puts her friends down. For example, calling one of her friends "flat," when they were already feeling insecure and said she can't relate because she's so "curvy." It was a very passive aggressive "joke." But this is all the context we need to continue the story. It's a lot.

It all starts in September of this year, when my best friend told me some interesting information about D. Basically D told my best friend that she doesn't really like me, and has kind of always hated me. I was a little surprised because I never really talked to D and all our interactions were always friendly, but I kind of understood her stance because I know I have sarcastic humor and I can be a little annoying sometimes (I'm working on it). But I was even more upset that D told MY BEST FRIEND, something like that without thinking my friend would definitely tell me. Which she did. And since I found that out, D slowly just started getting worse. Remember how she wasn't even close to B? Well now all of a sudden, they are walking to classes together, she posts them hanging out, and is constantly loudly bragging about being with B all the time. Which she recently just started doing, never have I seen my boyfriend on her story until these recent months. So obviously I was a little upset about that but I never said anything. I thought, "Well they were always friends in a way, it's not that big of a deal," with a slight pain in my heart. I just kind of brushed it off so I didn't come off as possessive. Then O joined in on these little things. One day I was with O and B, and I was talking about how B looks good with a certain hairstyle. Then O told him to put his hair behind his ears to see what he looked like and I KID YOU NOT this girl looks him up and down and says, "Oh you look cu- good." She literally almost called him cute. And B got all shy and blushed. I looked at my other friend who was with us and we looked at each other with slight shock. I had a witness with me I promise I'm not exaggerating. After that I talked to B about how that interaction made me a little uncomfortable, which he responded with "Sorry for smiling when someone complimented me." Which just pissed me off because it felt like he was minimizing my feelings. OH and I forgot to mention that ever since me and B started dating he had major problems with calling other girls "bad" in front of me, talking about other girls when I wasn't around, and flirting with girls which is why I kinda broke down and said something about his and O's interaction and not his and D's interaction. (I know I was stupid and should have talked to O and D about it too but I'm just really scared to, so I know I'm failing myself in that way). So those things happened and I only spoke up about it once. For a little while I just sucked it up and watched O, D, and my boyfriend slowly getting closer while crying about it almost every night because I had no idea what to do. I was terrified that I was just overreacting but I also couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't wrong and I was being blatantly disrespected.

But after all of that something crazy happened. This boy I'll call C has the biggest crush on me. He asked me out in junior year, which I said no because I just started talking to B. I told him no but I was happy to stay friends, because we've always been friends, since fifth grade. A few weeks ago he told me we needed to talk. He basically said he still has feelings for me, like really strong feelings for me and I make him feel some type of way he's never felt before. Of course I shut him down, because I'm with B right now. He knows that, so I said we can still be friends but I might just have to distance myself from him a little because it was the respectful thing to do for B. And for some reason, one of D's friends thought it was her place to tell B about the interaction. I was obviously gonna tell B about it, so she really had no right to get into our business like that. It's whatever though. But me and B talked about it, and he asked me to just stop talking to C all together and to just cut him off. I can't just cut C off he's one of my really good friends who played a big part in my life. But I'm a people pleaser so I reluctantly agreed. I didn't really cut him off fully I just distanced myself like I said I was going to do. A couple days later C came up to me and started casually talking to me, like usual. Nothing crazy just talking about how a teacher was annoying him. I kind of tried getting out of the conversation quickly because I didn't want B to see me or his friends to see me and say I was flirting with C, which I never do. But sure enough B saw us. I dismissed myself from the conversation with C to go over to B and I mentally prepared to be lectured. And I did. He was obviously annoyed and was like, "I thought I said to cut off C." His friends were with us and one of them kinda murmured, "Controlling." In a joking way. I finally broke. I was so done with how controlling he was. If he wasn't commenting on how my clothes were too inappropriate he was making me cut someone off. So I said, "Okay, then how about you cut off D and O? I already told you they make me uncomfortable, yet you still hangout with them and let them post pictures of you." (Yes, O posted him too) He got all defensive and said, "I can't just cut off D she's my family friend and I tried telling them to stop taking pictures of me but then they're just gonna tell you I was being mean to them." Blah blah blah. I understood that he couldn't completely cut off D but the picture thing was ridiculous. And it's not even that I want him to cut off D and O, I just want them to not be so flirty and stuff. I don't care if he's friends with girls, but I'd like it if those girls actually liked me and they could be friends with me too. (B always knew explicitly that D hates me and talks crap about me I told him hoping he'd distance himself from her but no). Anyways we kind of resolved it and came to an understanding. He'd TRY to stop being around D and O so much while I stopped talking to C.

Take a deep breath because only now are we getting to the real story. A week after I asked him to stop hanging out with O and D, you know what he does? THEY GO OUT TOGETHER FOR A DAY OF FUN, BUY MATCHING SENIOR SHIRTS AND WEAR THEM TO SCHOOL (This has to do with everyone wanting to make senior memories, I mentioned it earlier). It wasn't just B, O, and D, it was a mixed group of two other boys and one other girl, but still WHAT?? Oh my god I was spiraling, I could barely talk to B while he's wearing matching shirts with people who don't like me. Because by the way the whole group of people he went with had at least once talked crap about me which everyone knows because it was a whole thing in ninth grade. And honestly I wouldn't mind if he had a mixed friend group, but the thing is this friend group literally just formed and it's full of people who don't like me but they like my boyfriend all of a sudden which is strange because like I said before no one really cared about him until now. And to make things worse his mom went through our messages and saw us talking about it and said I was controlling, because B chose to skip the next hangout with the friend group because of me. Which backfired because still B has to go to the hangout because D is his family friend, that's what his mom said. B invited me begging me to go but I really don't want to for obvious reasons. And I just feel upset because O is supposed to be my friend but she always hangs out with my boyfriend without inviting me. Like no one invites me to these hangouts or puts me in the group chats for them, so I'd just feel like such an outsider.

Oh and I did block D and O on social media, I only blocked D's number because I'm closer to O and I can't just block her. I only blocked them because I was sick of seeing my boyfriend hangout with other girls more than me. I never made a big deal out of it just quietly distanced myself from D and O. And I guess O knows I blocked her because she saw and said, "It's really not this deep." Because I blocked her after she posted a picture of B.

I don't know guys am I overreacting? I feel like such a bad person right now, but it's not just me and my best friends noticing, there are other people I barely talk to telling me they think D, O, and B are disrespecting me. Also I can't tell my closest friends outside of school about this because they hate B for a lot of other things he's done to me and they're mad at me for not breaking up with him already. So I need some unbiased opinions. But yeah, please be honest with me because I can take criticism and I like working on myself. Bye for now! I'll post updates if necessary.

Am I the ungrateful person for wanting something different for my birthday or wanting more? I am 36 weeks pregnant with my first baby and my birthday was yesterday. My husband got me balloons and flowers and didn’t actually buy me any other gifts except for shoes that he got his money back from long story short I didn’t feel special. We also went to dinner with him and my two friends. Does that make me sound ungrateful idk but I told him today that I would’ve liked more and he got really defensive of course and I blamed myself for being ungrateful in my head. But I told him that I would’ve liked more like gifts and that didn’t go very well I said it didn’t have to be anything crazy but just thoughtful it could’ve been a basket from dollar tree with goodies I don’t know really. I just didn’t open any gifts which kind of made me sad. He asked me what I would’ve liked and I told him maybe a basket with like a face mask and like foot scrub or like a new body wash or really anything like I said doesn’t have to be crazy!! We went to the mall as well on my bday and he said that when were there he asked me if I would like some things from there and I said no it’s ok like to perfumes and stuff I was trying on because I do not want to tell him on my birthday what to buy me. Is that just me idk.. am I ungrateful for what he did do idk… but I guess I would’ve liked more then when I told him he said I am sorry I didn’t know all you wanted was gifts then left to take the dogs out after asking me if I wanted to say anything else I said no I didn’t have anything else to say and he took the dogs out when he came back and I left to go on like a 10 min drive and mind you day after and for probably 4 hours he has been playing his Xbox that too idk o am lost and don’t know what to do or say anymore on top of that we are in California and I am from Colorado so I don’t even have family around me and his family is distant. So that’s my life

I know I shouldn't be possessive, but sometimes I still get jealous, and I don't know how to deal with it.

Recently, my friend was telling me about another friend and all the efforts she's made for her. I know she has done a lot, and I'm genuinely happy that my friend has someone like her. But I still felt jealous and started wondering if she ever talks about me the same way.

I also do whatever I can for her, but sometimes I feel like it's not enough compared to what her other friend does. Even when it comes to social media, she wants to post a separate story for her other friend, while my story is posted along with her other friends in a row.

I know these things shouldn't matter so much, and I'm genuinely happy seeing her with other friends. I don't want her to choose between us or lose any friendships. I guess I just want to feel special to her, too.

I feel guilty for comparing myself to her other friends, but sometimes I wonder if I'm as important to her as she is to me.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do you deal with these feelings without letting them affect your friendship?

What I’m trying to understand is this, when does expressing concern about your partner’s outfit become insecurity or controlling behavior? Is it wrong to feel uncomfortable because of how other men might look at your girlfriend, even when you trust her completely? I’m genuinely trying to understand the difference between being protective and being insecure.

i [22F] think im quite a sensitive person when it comes to my partner [24M]. i notice every little thing and it makes me overthink about us, mostly about whether he really loves me. for me, words speak louder than actions, it probably has something to do with my childhood for that but yeah, action dont really convince me much. wait, it does. no no i think because in this context, we are kinda doing ldr (not that far tbh) and can only like meet once a month. so its hard to even get some action so words and communication is very important to me, and honestly for both of us. i take almost-a-day late reply quite negatively. i mean i'd appreciate a little text letting me know he'd be busy for a while or smtg.. my first thought would be 'oh i guess im not that significant' and overthinking would literally pull me even deeper into the void. wouldnyou say i have low self esteem because of this? because i dont think thats the problem honestly, i just want constant reassurance that he still loves me. because a part of me cant really believe that he actually does love me and so as a self-defence for my peace, i unconsciously keep looking out for any signs that gives away him not really being interested in me you know so i could immediately pack my bags and leave.

i used to say ily to him a lot and i was so upset when he didnt respond/react to it uuntil he told me he doesn't really say the same thing over and over again or everyday. then i pointed out to him that he says morning everyday is fine and he was like thats different. i was kind of hurt when he said that honestly but i understand that he may have had bad experience with it. also fuck the person who did that to him. rooot inn hellllll

idk what to do really. i love him so much but he seems to love his friends more. im glad he has good friends that has his back all the time but i want to be spoiled with his love and time too. yesterday he called me amigo and i googled it to find its a friendly name for a male friend. a 'male' and a 'friend'. i hate him. i hate that he doesn't know how much i overthink about us. it's to the point i would cry over it and affect my mood. is this a sign i should let it go. what should i reflect on, or prioritise? whats the harsh truth i need to know? or will this get better with time?

p.s. he's my first love at 22. do you think thats why im adamant to not let him go despite my emotional distress?

I have no idea why this girl flipped when I told her this. She said "I know who I am, unlike you." I wasn't even trying to be rude. Like why would that trigger someone?

I’ve (20F) been with my boyfriend 21M for 5 years since 2021. We are high school sweethearts. We met in middle school, “dated” briefly, broke up, and got together our Sophmore year in highschool. There’s been reoccurring issues and it’s been driving me insane. To preface, I have OCD and anxiety that greatly affects my perception on a lot of redundant things, hence needing advice on wether it’s all in my head.

Our relationship started off good from what I can remember. He was a great boyfriend. He supported me through my mental health issues in HS and I will always be forever grateful for that. We do have a lot of good memories.

Heres things that have been bothering me the most.

He’ll make “jokes” (he claims their jokes) that aren’t the nicest. Jokes at the expense of others or even me. I express it makes me feel stupid and hurts my feelings. I’ll ask him if he can be kinder but he won’t stop. He’ll do it again less than an hour later. When I bring it up in a conversation it turns into talking to a damn brick wall. ”Yeah”, “Ok”, “I’ll stop”. I just want to know why. I know things can be habits or learned. I understand that. I never been the most communicative person. However I have worked so greatly through therapy and self work. I just want to know why and know that I can come to him, say you hurt me, and have a conversation. I can’t.

I would drop absolutely everything for him. I don’t take shifts, I lose money, I drive the 1hr 30ish to see him without any complaints multiple times a month, missing work. I would do anything for him. If he needs anything he gets it from ME. He doesn’t come to see me anymore. He says hes busy or can’t miss work. What?? I always take work off. Ive taken more work off then he ever has. He’s maybe taken a total off of a month in the past year. I deal with chronic health conditions that lands me in the hospital from time to time. I need my person. I cry in the hospital of sadness and pain. Desperate for any support. Just a hug or anything. He doesn’t show. Ever. He’s taken me to the ER once and I had to beg. I feel like an inconvenience for asking for anything. I don’t feel like I’ve ever done the same. Again, I would drop anything for him.

Commitment wise, there’s a lot that goes into ok. He says he wants to marry me, and I’m his future. Nothing in his actions does he show me. He has a troubled relationship with his mom. However it’s not absent. I’ve been to his house 3 or 4 times maybe in the past 5 years. I’ve talked to his mom TWICE. He has never once stood up to her. He will never choose me. He never advocates for our relationship. I can understand completely where it comes from but I don’t understand in the same breath. It hurts. When we have conversations (me talking and asking) about the future, when can we move in together, what will that look like? NOTHING. No plans no nothing. No active work to make a future work.

Money is not as important as I’m about to make it seem, but becuase I’m starting to air everything out already, I might as well mention it. I work and make 19 and hour, (earlier this month quit my second 19hr job). He makes 17ish. He works more than I do. He has much more money saved than I do. I actively talk about what I’m saving for. He doesn’t. However when it comes to spending, anything he wants I buy no complaints. Need lotion for your tattoo? I got it. Dont want to make dinner? Bought. Dinner when I drive up? Gotcha. Howveer when he spends money on me he makes me feel horrible. Intentional or not he makes a big deal.

Anyways thats the main things that have been bothering me. There’s a lack of communication and connection recently. It kills me. I want someone that understands, cares, and priortizes me just as much as I do them. I love him so much Im begging him to change.

Am I going crazy being overly sensitive ?

Mabey im just being sensitive

I dont have many friends. I mabey 4 irl friends. And I dont see them often, and one lives two hours away. The one who lives two hours away is who this is abt.

She has a job. But she doesnt work much. Shes been my friend since 6th-7th grade. Shes my best friend. But..we dont talk much anymore. She says its bcz of her job, but j always see her taking in her servers im in, and then I remember that she has a group chat with her other friends im not in.

I dont mind that, dont get me wrong. Im not someone who needs constant talking to to be reassured we're still friends. But..when she talks abt her interests, which I have no intrest in, I always ask questions, keep talking abt it with her, etc. But..she doesnt really give that same energy with me. And when i try talking in the discord servers im in, where her friends are in as well, it goes dead silent until someone else talks.

Idk. Mabey im being sensitive but...it hurts my feelings a bit.

I'm an adult and I feel kind of stupid for feeling bad for this but I'm sensitive to rejection and feeling left out, this has happened to me many times in the past and I'm still hurt I guess. The context:

My best friend and I usually play apart because we don't have many games in common, he also has his own group of friends from years ago and I tend to play on my own. Last year he gifted me a game that has multiplayer. I played it alone and I love it, tho, playing alone it's time consuming and harder than with friends. He has the game too but didn't want to play again until it releases 1.0.

Now 1.0 has arrived. Two days ago he asked me "hey, if I pay for a server would you like to play?" I replied "yeah, if you invite me, sure". He told me some of his friends would join the server too and play and I told him "I'm not used to playing with people, can I still build my witch hut in front of a lake?" as a joke, he said "well, you can do whatever you want as long as it doesn't harm the group" I laughed and said "oh no, don't worry about that, of course not. It's just that I'm not used to play with people, but I'm willing to do it if I don't bother you guys"

So, when the game is ready, my friend opens the server and starts playing with another friend. I was busy and I couldn't play that day (not that he asked me to). I texted "hey how is the game? is it what you expected?" he told me "yeah, i'm having so much fun. I'm playing with a friend. Later I'll give you the pass"

That never happend. Today he has played with his friends for the entire afternoon. I've played too, on my own. He knows that, we've talked about the game. I even told him I wasn't having that much fun because I had to start a new game and as a solo player everything is harder to get and to beat. He just laugh and told me he killed X boss and continue talking about the game.

And guys, it hit me in the wrong way. Maybe I'm too sensitive and weird. But I was hoping he would invite me for real... I could perfectly tell him "hey you forgot to give me the server pass" as if nothing, but I would feel like I'm invading. I don't know his friends, I would have been the first time he would have introduced them so, I don't feel comfortable inviting myself or asking my friend since he's the one who invited me first and I was willing to play and he never continued...

Ici F (24) mon copain (28)

Bonjour,

Mon copain a regardé mes messages, alors je me suis dis tiens je vais faire de meme

J’ai vu sur le telephone de mon copain qu’il a partagé une publication à sa meilleure amie, qui dit que sa meilleure amie est la plus belle fille qu’il connaisse… je sais pas comment je dois le prendre…

Je trouve ca irrespecteux envers moi, oui c’est une tres belle femme mais c’est pas un à dire lorsqu’on a une copine non?

Ou est ce que je suis trop emotionel dans ma reaction, et c’est normal de dire cela?

Merci pour vos retour

so me (17F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together for about 6 months now. Weve had many many arguments and disagreements, but we would kind of brush by it after a while. Yesterday i went to his place and he hit me two times. Very lightly, but it still hurt a bit (it was obvious he hasnt put force behind it) he hit me on tge cheek both times and he also jokingly choked me. Im assuming he was joking and didnt mean it seriously and i hope he would never actually hurt me, but it was scary and ive been thinking about it all day. am i being overdramatic over a simple joke?

im his first relationship. My friends have warned me before when i would tell them about out arguments and issues that should be wary because he seems like the type to hit, of course i brushed it aside, after all weve been together for 2 months then ans i was just blind practically

I (F24) am engaged to (M24) we have a child together. We have had arguments before, but last night during our argument he had told me he hated me. He has done so in the past. I go to bed, and this morning around 8am he wakes me up and asks me to hit my vape, I told him no. How is he going to act like he didn’t tell me he hated me. I didn’t forget and it hurt my feelings deeply. He gets mad at me and tells me to get out of the bed. When I refuse to do that he takes my brand new floral blanket that I bought and doesn’t let me use it. He repeats over and over that I can’t use it and I need to get out of the bed. I didn’t say anything back I just laid there for a minute until I got up and went to go get coffee. I just want to understand what kind of behavior is this. Typing this out it sounds like a relationship in high school and it’s embarrassing :/

so i (F27) am currently jobless, disabled, but I do small jobs like babysitting, selling art and dogwalking to make ends meet​ and my boyfriend (m29) is the main source of income. there was never a issue with finances before as we have been together 9 years and discussed he would pay all the bills while i took care of groceries, cooking food for us, getting household/toiletry items, cleaning the apartment and stuff for our cats.

the issue started some months ago, my father passed away in june of 2026 and I am his only child, him and mom never married so I am his next of kin and am in charge of planning his service. i had some family help me with money towards it but it's not paid for fully as of months later with me posting this.

I enjoy to cook and bake so I got the idea to start selling cookies to my neighbors, friends in the area and bf's coworkers. he likes the idea of cooking and baking but never does it so when I make the cookies, he usually watches me and takes pictures to show around and when he does help, he is mostly scooping and rolling the dough out during the first round of baking, since I usually make enough for 2 dozen at a time.

his birthday was at the end of September and that's when i also began selling the cookies. he started talking half or even all the payments for the cookies (I sold them 25 for a dozen with a deal of 40 for 2 dozen), saying he was using it towards his birthday since he wanted to go out and have fun.

I got annoyed by this but let it slide at ​first but I let it out my frustration when his boss ordered 3 dozen of a type of cookie I never made before. my bf was at work, sleeping or gaming the entire time I made the dough, let it chill and when I baked it but once we dropped off the cookies to his boss and they gave him the money for it, he told me it was definitely going towards his birthday

I did get upset, walking to the car door and slamming it shut, not talking to him on the drive back home and for a bit once we got to our apartment. he then told me the next time people buy cookies, he will give me the full amount, I was still upset so I only gave him a thumbs up and went to watch some t.v in our room.

I calmed down a bit some time later and apologized for acting that way, he forgave me and all is well now. i am still thinking over it and told some of my friends the situation and told me I wasn't being too sensitive, I had the right to be upset since I did all to majority of the work and he took was taking all the money.

so, was I too sensitive for getting upset at my bf taking money I made from baking cookies that was going towards my dad's funeral?

edit for some clarification: he was taking the money from when I sold cookies to his coworkers and boss, saying it was a "cut" for getting more customers.

My fiancée and I recently had a disagreement, and I genuinely want some outside perspective because I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or if we’re looking at this differently.

Lately, she’s been making plans to have people over or stay with us without talking to me beforehand. For context, it’s all her family, and I have no issue with her family visiting.

First, she told me she had invited her brother and his partner to stay with us for Thanksgiving. I’ve only met them once because they live out of state, but I was completely fine with it.

Then, she told me that she had also invited her cousin, whom I’ve never met, and her three kids to stay with us for about a week around Thanksgiving. Again, I don’t necessarily have a problem with them staying with us. What bothered me was that the invitation had already been extended before she even talked to me about it.

I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want to make it an issue when I was okay with the actual plans.

Today, she told me she invited her mom and another brother over for dinner. I said okay, and we talked about what we would have for dinner. I saw it as a low-stakes opportunity to bring up something that had been bothering me.

I calmly explained that I’d appreciate it if we could communicate with each other before making plans like these. I reassured her that I wasn’t upset about the guests, that I wasn’t trying to prevent her from inviting her family over, and that I likely would have agreed to all of these plans anyway. For me, it’s about being consulted before a decision that affects our shared home has already been made.

Her reaction caught me off guard. She got upset and said she shouldn’t have to ask my permission to invite people over and questioned why I was making it a big deal.

I tried explaining that I wasn’t asking her to seek permission. I was asking for a conversation beforehand. Something as simple as, “Hey, I was thinking about inviting my family over for dinner. How does that sound?” Or, in the case of overnight guests, discussing the plans before extending an invitation.

I would never invite someone to stay with us for a week without talking to her first, even if I was confident she wouldn’t mind. To me, that’s just part of being considerate of your partner and making decisions together when you share a home.

I can understand how she might think, “If you don’t have a problem with the plans, why does it matter?” But I think the communication itself matters, regardless of whether I ultimately agree with the plans.

I’m also trying to get better at expressing things that are important to me instead of keeping them to myself, so I thought this was a reasonable thing to bring up calmly. Instead, she seemed to interpret the entire conversation as me trying to control her.

Now I’m questioning myself. Am I being too particular about something that really isn’t a big deal? Is it reasonable to expect your partner to consult you before inviting people to stay in your shared home, even if they’re family? And is expecting a quick conversation before inviting people over for dinner unreasonable, too?

I genuinely want to hear perspectives from both sides. I’m not looking for people to automatically tell me I’m right. I want to understand whether I’m missing something here.

I (26F) bring homemade lunch to work almost every day. I like simple home-cooked meals because they fit my budget and dietary needs. A male coworker sits near me in the office, and he started commenting on my food a few weeks ago. At first it was small jokes like “Wow that looks plain”. I just laughed it off and ignored him. But lately he keeps going further. Every time I open my lunchbox, he will lean over, stare at my food, and say things like “Is that really enough for you?”, “It looks boring, I could never eat that”. Sometimes he says it loud enough so nearby colleagues turn to look at me. I told him twice calmly that his comments make me uncomfortable, and I’d prefer him not to talk about my lunch anymore. He said I was overreacting, it was just harmless banter and I shouldn’t take his jokes seriously. He hasn’t stopped. Now I feel anxious every lunch break. I even started eating in the bathroom stall sometimes to avoid his remarks. My friends outside work say he’s being rude and boundary-crossing. But my coworker and a couple other teammates keep saying I’m thin-skinned and can’t take light teasing. I keep second-guessing myself. It’s just food, right? It’s not a big insult. Maybe I really am overthinking and being too sensitive. Am I being too sensitive here?

First things first, my partner is fantastic and we recently welcomed a baby girl a few months ago. It’s her first baby, but my second as I have a 9 year old through a previous marriage.

Second, I am currently in therapy. I have trouble with confrontation, shutting down and being too defensive in general. But sometimes it’s hard to tell when I’m getting too defensive and when someone has genuinely hurt me or is pushing a boundary.

(Third), which brings me to my wife. I feel like she micromanages me often, whether that’s backseat driving, cooking or recently, raising our newborn. I understand she normally acts this way when she feels she doesn’t have control but it makes me feel incompetent and like she doesn’t trust me. I have brought this up before and usually the response I get is, “I’m just trying to help/being helpful”

Recently, we’ve been sleeping separately since I’ve gone back to work and my wife’s breastfeeding routine is taxing on her. Sometimes it’s easier to (safely as possible) co-sleep.

Last two nights I moved back into the bed and we’ve tried putting Baby in the crib, however last night after a feeding session, the baby didn’t go down easy, so I got up to rock baby back to sleep in the nursery.

Wife reminds me “it sounds like she needs burped”. This is a little annoying because I would try this anyways, but a reminder is harmless.

After rocking her for a few minutes, baby is still crying. Wife enters the nursery and says she heard a fart/BM and maybe diaper needs changed. I’m annoyed because, I would have tried this soon and I’m trying to give wife some rest.

I get up to change baby from rocking chair. Wife stands nearby while I start the changing process. I fumble with the swaddle (start for the zipper at the top) but it’s a bottom up zipper and wife points this out to me. This aggravates me further because I would have figured this out momentarily.

Then, I started to change the actual diaper and wife hands me a diaper wipe, even though we’re both in reach and I have a hand free.

I handle this very poorly and I put my hands up and let her know that I’ll let her handle the diaper, I go and lay down. I understand that I did not handle this well, as I mentioned I’m bad with confrontation and this didn’t need to be a 2 person job.

This is a common occurrence in the house. I know she means well, I love her very much but it’s incredibly aggravating feeling like she doesn’t trust me to do simple tasks.

​

Let's get right into the point. So, I have this friend of mine and she's in her first relationship. Now, that's not an issue at all, I get that yes it's your first time n

you'll be obsessed n all lovey dovey. Mind you we both are seat mates- and the moment I walk into my class both of them are sitting together holding hands n all (like where do you expect me to sit and I don't have many friends, I like to have a small friend group and this happens every single day) so, I sit at a random seat for a long time until they both decide to leave - and it's very uncomfortable for everybody in our class because that guy is a senior and the girls in my class are obviously irritated by the fact that the guy is sitting there staring at everybody as if he's never seen a woman on earth before. It started off small - them talking outside the classroom, walking together outside that was fine until this. I wanted to tell her politely that she obviously can bring her dude to the class but don't do it often or every single day- but she gets a little too jealous whenever smone mentions his name or even talks about him. One thing I want to tell you guys is that I am not cocky or showing off but I am pretty so you know how it goes there's alot of rumours about me but None of them are true so it's hard for me to make friends specially since my friends from the previous year were all snakes. Thank you for reading this. There's so much more to this.

The other day, I went to the mall with a friend, and we walked past another friend who works at a kiosk there.
I was a little bit of a distance away from her, but we made eye contact while I was walking past. I obviously wasn’t close enough to stop and have a conversation yet, but I noticed that as soon as we made eye contact, she ducked down behind her kiosk.
What made it even weirder was that I could see her looking through the gaps in the kiosk, almost like she was checking to see if I had passed. Once I was far enough away, she stood back up. From what I could see, she wasn’t doing anything that required her to duck down in the first place.
The thing is, everything between us had been completely normal. We had literally called each other beforehand, so I had no reason to think there was any issue between us.
Yesterday, I called her and asked why she had ducked down when she saw me. She insisted that she hadn’t even seen me and said she was just getting something. She also said that she would have wanted me to come say hi if she had seen me.
But that’s what bothers me. How was I supposed to come say hi when I literally watched her duck behind the kiosk as I walked past, and then saw her stand back up after I had gone?
I feel like she’s denying something I witnessed with my own eyes. I wouldn’t have cared if she was busy or didn’t feel like talking while working, but the fact that it looked like she was actively hiding from me feels so rude, especially when we’re friends and everything seemed fine beforehand.
I don’t want to overreact or assume she has an issue with me, but I can’t understand why she would do this and then deny it.