r/alcoholicsanonymous • • Apr 24 '24

Mod/Sub Updates About A.A. and this subreddit

48 Upvotes

Welcome to r/alcoholicsanonymous. We are a subreddit dedicated to carrying the AA recovery message to any suffering alcoholic who happens upon the site. We are also open to questions and discussion about AA. We do not consider ourselves to be an AA Group in the formal or traditional sense, and you may find many posts and comments here that are quite different (sometimes bizarrely so) from what you are likely to hear in an actual meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

The primary source of information about Alcoholics Anonymous is https://www.aa.org/ - Period!

And the A.A. recovery program is described and documented in the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" - it's online here:

 

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who help each other to get and stay sober. We learn how to live well as sober people. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no registration requirements, no dues or fees, no attendance records taken.

A.A. is not affiliated or allied with any religious organization (though many A.A. groups rent rooms at churches and such,) we do not involve ourselves in politics or social issues, we do not even wish to outlaw alcohol or involve ourselves in any other causes or controversies. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

Most of us start learning how to get and stay sober at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Do also seek medical attention to assess risks of withdrawal and evaluate any harm done by the alcohol abuse. A.A. cannot provide medical services.

And check out our Wiki here for some basic faqs, links, and such:

Suggested Guideline when commenting: Remember, we are a fellowship with one primary purpose, and as such, we need to be helpful. This is not a community to troll or be abusive. Restraint of tongue and pen can also be applied to keyboard with much benefit! For some more detail about our Civility Rule see this:

 

Looking for Online Sponsorship? See our monthly thread here:

 


Family member's drinking causing trouble? See this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholicsanonymous/wiki/index#wiki_help_for_the_friends_and_families_of_alcoholics


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 17d ago

Sponsorship Online Sponsorship Offers & Requests — October 2026

3 Upvotes

This is one of a series of sticky threads for anyone seeking or offering online sponsorship. (Last month's thread may be found at https://redd.it/1w3s1tl)

While most of us feel that face-to-face sponsorship offers greater facility for transmitting/receiving sobriety, and that there are great advantages in having a big crowd of local friends, online sponsorship (via phone, WhatsApp, Facetime, Zoom, or Western Union) can work* and for some seeking or offering sobriety it is sometimes the only practical solution for getting started. (But to any extent that online sponsorship is being sought as "an easier, softer way" - that's already spelling trouble!)

The pamphlet "Questions & Answers on Sponsorship" (https://www.aa.org/questions-and-answers-sponsorship) can answer many/most of the questions frequently asked about this sponsorship business - some selected examples:

How does sponsorship help the newcomer?
How should a sponsor be chosen?
Should sponsor and newcomer be as much alike as possible?
Must the newcomer agree with everything the sponsor says?
Is it ever too late to get a sponsor?

 

Suggested Format

Start with "Seeking:" or "Offering:", optionally a name, sobriety date or length of sobriety, gender, location (also optional,) perhaps some brief biographical information, perhaps a brief drunkalogue about one's drinking and drugging career when making a "Seeking:" comment.

"Gender" may not always be relevant, but per the sponsorship pamphlet, "A.A. experience does suggest that it is best for men to sponsor men, women to sponsor women." It's a good guideline albeit not a strict rule carved in stone.

"Location" may be very general or as specific as wanted, and of course is optional. It may come in handy if the sponsor and protégé (p.92) prefer to be in the same time zone or may possibly wish to meet face-to-face sometime down the road to happy destiny.

"Biographical information" would also be quite optional. I've seen situations where young people prefer to be sponsored by other young people or even the opposite, wanting to be sponsored by a grandparent figure.

Any replies to "Seeking" or "Offering" comments should ideally be limited, with the correspondence shifting to Reddit private messages, chat, email or phone calls relatively quickly.

It is strongly suggested to avoid posting phone numbers or email addresses in the public forum:

"Posting phone numbers is a violation of Reddit Content Policy for sharing personal information" (I've seen "[Removed By Reddit]" a few times over posting phone numbers. I suppose this might be in part due to the potential for publishing other people's phone numbers for harassment purposes.)


* Footnote: In the 4th Edition Big Book on page 193, "Gratitude In Action - The story of Dave B., one of the founders of A.A. in Canada in 1944" relates the story of an alcoholic who started his recovery by exchanging letters with the folks in the new A.A. office in New York; an excerpt:

I was very surprised when I got a copy of the Big Book in the mail the following day. And each day after that, for nearly a year, I got a letter or a note, something from Bobbie or from Bill or one of the other members of the central office in New York. In October 1944, Bobbie wrote: “You sound very sincere and from now on we will be counting on you to perpetuate the Fellowship of A.A. where you are. You will find enclosed some queries from alcoholics. We think you are now ready to take on this responsibility.” She had enclosed some four hundred letters that I answered in the course of the following weeks. Soon, I began to get answers back.

If Dave could get sober via U.S./Canada Mail, we can get sober with the cornucopia of communication facilities available in the 21st century!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 3h ago

Sponsorship Unsure about sponsoring

7 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I am looking for some feedback on this. So today, after my home group meeting with my sponsor, she told me it’s time for me to start raising my hand when they ask is anyone available and willing to be a sponsor. I agreed and am prepared to follow through on this, but I am just not confident in my ability to offer something to a newcomer.

For context, I am four months sober and have worked the twelve steps with this sponsor. I have had a spiritual awakening and would say I have spiritual experiences often just in terms of moments where I can honestly say to myself wow, look at God at work in my life here. I go to a meeting every day.

I guess in the back of my mind I’m thinking why would someone want me as their sponsor when there are people with much more time and more of a proven track record? I also can appreciate that sponsorship truly helps the sponsor too, and I believe it will help me and so I know that will be great. I am also nervous that a sponsee will have a lot of questions, particularly about the big book, that I don’t have answers to off the top of my head. I’m a teacher and have a desire to make things clear and understandable and I’m afraid I wouldn’t know enough, in the sponsees eyes, to be of use.

Thank you!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 9h ago

YPAA Invited to speak at MCYPAA

16 Upvotes

Yesterday I was approached to share my experience of facing fears in sobriety at this year’s Michigan Conference of Young People in AA.

I’ve only ever given one open talk and now I’m invited to have a microphone at the state convention.

Why the hell not I guess


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 9h ago

Early Sobriety Big book study group

10 Upvotes

Hello

I have just gotten a sponsor and ordered the big book.

There is a big book study group very close to me and I wondered if I could go to it even though I haven't started studying the big book with my sponsor yet?

Will it affect my studying and will I be able to follow along if I go? I'm aware many groups have different names so I am not sure if the big book study group is for people who have more experience reading the book etc?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 4h ago

I Want To Stop Drinking I want to be better

5 Upvotes

I want to be better for my husband:( I got drunk again last night and we got in a fight because I chose to keep drinking. He had asked me multiple times not to drink more but I just kept going. We went out to a nice dinner and what started as a few controlled drinks turned into getting more from the liquor store and shit hit the fan. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I’m working in therapy to do something other than drink when I get triggered. I was assaulted a bit ago and then had an ex who was abusive as a teen and I have a lot of daily triggers that idk what to do with. My mom chose alcohol over me and my siblings for years and my ex step mom chose it over my dad and he ended up leaving her for it, and I’m glad he did because he deserved better. My husband does too:( he’s so over it and is getting to that point with me. I’m so sad I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I want to be healthy and not end up like my mom and step mom. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. It’s been two years since i developed drinking problems and I can’t let it keep going. I want a happy life with him. He’s the best person I know.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 6h ago

Early Sobriety Invited to speak and nervous (5 months)

4 Upvotes

I was asked to lead at a speaker meeting - only have to talk for around 10 minutes but I realized that I've still not been honest with myself about the extent of my drinking and also, I'm unsure of how I was even able to stop - still very much in awe of the whole thing and just feel really lucky to have had my obsession lifted. Does anyone have any advice? My sponsor said I should just do it and pray, so I am but I'm such a nervous Nelly it's hard to not want to prepare 🧐


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 13h ago

Steps Understanding the "Middle Path"

12 Upvotes

I have been reflecting on the 10th Step Bill proposed, this month.

"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

I am old enough now to reflect on the patterns in my life that were once rampant, now less so, but still requiring attention and management.

For me my life has swung wildly between excess and asceticism, and to some degree those traits remain, although both are mostly dormant. It took a long time to realize that these were simply a mirror of each other - they manifested differently (obviously), but they were both sprouted from the same seed.

So when drinking, I didn't just drink, I drank and used to the limits of my life. When being adherent to boundaries (often a reaction), I didn't just walk, I crossed continents. I didn't just diet, I fasted for days at a time. I didn't just isolate from people, I didn't see humans for months at a time.

Both of these conditions, were rooted in the same cause.

There are obvious ways and ideals that AA offers to practice inventory with rigorous honesty. For me inventory is not limited to the harms I have caused others, but also the harms I have caused (cause) myself. These days those harms are dramatically reduced. Daily meditation helps accomplish that - in that space I am not just simply practicing inventory as a verb - inventory is a state of being. It is being in the presence of truth. Often my amends are to myself.

Later in his life, Siddhartha Guatama, came to the realization that living in extremes was rooted in attachment, and therefore caused suffering. Fanaticism, being over-zealous, being fervent, was usually caused by an underlying void or spiritual blind spot, caused by attachment. A self created mask of sorts. A reflexive protection from the truth. At times it is even a comforting validation of the ego. Equanimity cannot truly be found where attachment is prevalent, and therefore he spoke of the "middle path".

For me, in seeking true sobriety, the middle path has offered the least obstacles and the most success as I approach AA and inventory.

My life remains work. But as long as I have chosen inventory to be an immersive experience, the less fear and self deception have been an interference. Promptly admitting wrongs to myself (or sometimes it takes a little while to recognize) comes from understanding what constitutes a wrong - not always clear.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 5h ago

Resentments & Inventory Doing a “mini 4th” or targeted inventory?

3 Upvotes

hi! i have a specific area of my life that my sponsor would like me to do an inventory around. it’s an area of living that i tend to neglect and feel immense shame over. however i cannot figure out how to do an inventory about it. it’s housekeeping/chores. i will go 1000% and not sleep, cleaning and doing laundry (i also have a lot of kids and pets, so upkeep is a lot haha). but then ill burn out and let things go, and before i know it everything is cluttered and chaotic and becomes an overwhelming task that requires lots of time and focus and energy.

her suggestion was things like “im angry at this toilet for always being dirty” or “im angry at this laundry pile for being wrinkled and not put away” but i can’t wrap my mind around that. to me, i don’t resent the mess - i resent my own inability to consistently maintain a clean and functional home. i resent my executive disfunction and laziness. i resent my mental health cycles.

any feedback or thoughts? be kind please.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 21h ago

Struggling with AA/Sobriety Am I overreacting?

38 Upvotes

Tonight I went out with my friends to participate in a Halloween shindig. I just celebrated 2 years sober on October 13th, I hadn’t had a drop. We stopped in a cafe/bar style place and I ordered a non alcoholic Shirley temple slushee… sometimes it’s easier to get a mocktail or a soda when I’m around people drinking. The bartender gave me a drink and as I took the first sip I immediately knew it was tequila. The bartender was pretty adamant it was “non alcoholic”. Both my friends tried it and said no this is a frozen margarita. The manager came out and it turned out she did in fact give me the wrong drink. I explained to them I was sober and just hit my 2 year mark. They both said “dang now I feel bad”. I walked away feeling an irrational anger and guilty for something out of my control. I know I was in a bar atmosphere but how do you make that kind of mistake? And now I can’t stop thinking about the sip I had. Am I overreacting? Does this mean I’m not 2 years sober? I feel like I’m back at square one. I’ve been struggling remaining sober because of the amount of stress I’m under. I feel like this incident is really kicking me when I’m already down.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1h ago

Amends What’s the worst thing you’ve done while drunk? How have you made amends with it? How do you overcome the guilt?

• Upvotes

r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 23h ago

Miscellaneous/Other AA is like Cheers

47 Upvotes

Obviously, it's the exact opposite of a bar, but it's a place where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you came. I know there's been a lot if talk about the decline of the "third place", a place that is not home, and not work, but AA is a really good third place.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 11h ago

AA Literature Daily Reflections - October 17 - A Daily Tune-Up

5 Upvotes

A DAILY TUNE-UP

October 17

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

How do I maintain my spiritual condition? For me it's quite simple: on a daily basis I ask my Higher Power to grant me the gift of sobriety for that day! I have talked to many alcoholics who have gone back to drinking and I always ask them: "Did you pray for sobriety the day you took your first drink?" Not one of them said yes. As I practice Step Ten and try to keep my house in order on a daily basis, I have the knowledge that if I ask for a daily reprieve, it will be granted.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", October 17, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Early Sobriety 2 weeks sober, i can do this.

69 Upvotes

i used to think i needed a drink to deal with certain things, but now im learning that i can sit with my feelings and let a bad day be just a bad day without making it worse.i’m not going to pretend every day has been easy, and i definitely don’t have everything figured out. but i’ve made it two weeks, and i want to keep going.something i’m curious about for those of you who have been sober for a while: what was the biggest change you noticed in yourself during your first month of sobriety? i’d love to hear your experiences.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 7h ago

Friend/Relative has a drinking problem First Time Post - Sibling with Issue.

1 Upvotes

Hi All,

This is my first post and I could use help. Family history of alcohol and drug abuse. Already lost 2 siblings due to alcohol or drug abuse. My nephew (adult) called me about his parent drinking / abusing alcohol on the weekends. He stated his mother has to leave the house and the drinking was so bad his sibling moved out. I am the only person in the family with any ability (emotional/mental) capacity to handle. Our parents are over 90. I am in the middle of dealing with my parents health issues (Parkinsons, impending heart surgery, and recent cancer diagnosis).

Where do I begin? Do I go speak to my siblings spouse to gain information to understand the severity, etc.? What do I do?

Trying to hold this all together.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 22h ago

Friend/Relative has a drinking problem Spiritual Awakenings?

12 Upvotes

Hi All - my 21 year-old daughter entered sober living today. She was about 18 days sober when she relapsed and she decided finally to give into sober living. Her first day was a disaster quite honestly. She went in with kind of a bad attitude. I often hear my friends who have been sober for a long time, of having a “spiritual awakening”, and I’m so very curious about that.

I wish nothing more than to have my daughter have a spiritual awakening, so she can realize that these are supposed to be the best years of her life and spending them high, drunk, and in and out of rehab is such a waste of what really is a very short life.

For those who believe they had a spiritual awakening, can you tell me a little more about that? I’m so worried that at 21, my daughter who thinks she knows everything won’t even recognize it if she does have a spiritual awakening. Or is it so extreme and obvious that you can’t possibly ignore it?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 8h ago

Early Sobriety How to tell whether a sponsor is a good fit or whether you should keep looking?

1 Upvotes

I'm very new to the program. I have heard many stories of people saying someone "used to be" their sponsor, so I just wonder what caused people to decide they need to step in a different direction. I have a sponsor but I wonder sometimes if it's the best fit.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 5h ago

Friend/Relative has a drinking problem What would you tell someone who has feelings for someone in recovery?

0 Upvotes

My ex is a recovering alcoholic

Our last conversation……did not go well

I don’t want to be one of those people that hates their ex because I don’t understand what he is going through

I have been listening to a podcast that’s been very helpful

I have spent time on Al Anon

I’m in the process of trying to let go

Are relationships seen as an overwhelming thing?

Do friendships feel confusing or overwhelming?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 3 years sober with dreams of relapsing at night

25 Upvotes

Does anyone else have dreams (or nightmares) of relapsing? I often dream that I’m in the moment enjoying myself with friends and I take a sip of red wine (my drink of choice) and just as it goes down my throat, I suddenly remember I was sober and I had just ruined my sobriety. There’s is a moment of panic and then I say to hell with this I may as well drink the whole glass now. I wake up so relieved that I’m still strong on my 3 year streak and it was just a dream. But very unsettling. Anyone else??


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 20h ago

Early Sobriety Break from meetings?

5 Upvotes

At 88 days & 99 meetings . . .

I’m feeling like I need a break from AA meetings, talking about sobriety, and counting days.

Of course, it’s not as exhausting as being hungover, tired & sick.

Thoughts?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Early Sobriety 3 days sober, one day at a time.

25 Upvotes

three days might not sound like much, but right now, it means something to me. know i still have a long way to go, and i️m trying not to get ahead of myself. i just want to keep showing up and make it through today without drinking.if you️ are starting over too, i hope you know you️ are not alone. we️ve got this, one day at a time. ️️what helped you get through your first week?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 2 years

49 Upvotes

I thought it was impossible, AA wouldn’t work for me, and alcohol would kill me any day. Don’t give up-there’s a whole new life waiting for you!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 16h ago

Am I An Alcoholic? What is alcoholism?

0 Upvotes

So my question is consuming 30 to 50 beers a week.

Alcoholism? Ok I know it is down to 24 now.

But it made me think what is alcoholism it don't impact my daily life so.

I know a lot who drink 5 to 7 days a week after work.

Me only 3 days a week. Just curious what people think.

Few years back I barely drank at all.

Now its just normal.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 19h ago

Agnostic/Atheist seeking sponsorship.

0 Upvotes

i’m a 23 year old female that just attended my first two AA meetings yesterday and today. would be looking for someone who also identifies as female at least in a similar age range. i understand my age is uncommon in groups such as these, just because im so young.
i posted here the other day looking for support and they recommended online AA meetings and the group of people i’ve met have been fantastic and have inspired me to keep going, even if im not sober yet. i intend to keep going, but i can’t make promises. after all, it’s not about promises, it’s about honesty and the willingness to try.
i’m agnostic basically, and not looking for anything too terribly religious, and would prefer to keep it that way. but at this point im open to a lot of different things.

delete if not allowed, but i want someone i can ACTUALLY talk to with no judgement. isn’t that what a sponsor is?
my dream and ultimate goal one day is to help someone in my “same boat”. i want to be able to say “i’ve been sober … years”. YEARS.

the withdrawal is the hardest part for me without any access to rehab and health insurance.
thank you in advance. may you all have an amazing day.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

I Want To Stop Drinking Constantly being asked if you’re okay

22 Upvotes

I hate this part of recovery. People always assume I’m drunk no matter what.