r/Adulting • • 13h ago

Strange request???

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u/Additional-Walk3883 5h ago

I’m going to assume that OP took that as a strange response and the neighbor not really wanting to do it, so didn’t bother replying. Ima assuming since they responded alter and Op basically told her to fuck off and forget it lol. “That’s a strange request.” Means this isn’t normal and I shouldn’t really be doing this.” And that’s how I would take it. I’m not going to want to obviously bother them anymore with a favor (that clearly isn’t strange) that they clearly don’t want to do. I me a if they know each other enough to have their phone numbers, they can’t just check the stove? And yeah I agree with the other comments. I’m pretty asocial and at times anti social but if a neighbor asks me to do something I’m all for helping out. They are my neighbor for christs sake.

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u/saturday_sun4 5h ago edited 5h ago

Yeah I get you, that's not an ideal comment to make.

But the neighbour actually did offer to check (if she was really unwilling she could've easily said, no, she was too far away/busy) and OP didn't respond for two hours! So why bother someone else with your anxieties then?

OP also hadn't left her key with this neighbour or told her where it was, so I can understand why she thought it was a bit odd even though it's not something I would've said.

If I'd been OP, I would've at least followed up with, "Sorry if it's a hassle! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it, just wanted to make sure nothing was on fire!" or something. Or, like, "All good, I've rung someone else to sort it but thanks anyway!"

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u/Additional-Walk3883 4h ago

Yeah I get all of what you are saying and agree. I’m just conjecturing a scenario that would make all of that a moot point. Like OP saw the response and was like, forget it babe the neighbor doesn’t even sound like they want to do it anyways. Then decided fuck it. And then remembered to respond a few hours later after already saying forget it, thanks anyway basically.

Like I really can’t understand and wrap my head around people being independent and taking care of their kids, then ask something innocuous when you actually made a mistake and people chastise you for it and make you look stupid and a burden. Like dude if you don’t want to help, just say that, and I’ll remember that when you need something. Maybe even something that requires more than five minutes of time.

Now that doesn’t sound very neighborly does it?

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u/saturday_sun4 4h ago edited 4h ago

Yeah, I don't think it's the best wording or reply from the neighbour, and I definitely agree and get how it could've happened.

But OP saying it was "because of their anxiety" and promptly forgetting to call or follow up is just dumb and reads like they flounced off in a huff. They clearly didn't even remember who they'd left the spare keys with either.

Posting it on reddit instead of just concluding that their neighbour was a bit of a twat and laughing off the whole situation, or taking the hint and addressing it proactively next time, is also quite immature and reads like they took it way too personally/seriously.

Either your anxiety is playing up so badly that you look past the neighbour being a bit rude and take their request in the best light, or you tell them right away, "Sorry for the trouble, it's all good, I'll sort it," and leave it at that.

It is just a bit weird to me that OP was so hung up on the wording despite forgetting to reply, especially given their supposed "anxiety". If I was truly anxious I wouldn't care about how rude they sounded, so long as the house wasn't ablaze.

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u/Additional-Walk3883 4h ago

Yeah, nah I disagree. Since I’ve gotten older, I see how someone replies and I go. Cool, not bothering with this. lol. I don’t have time for people who don’t have time for people who think I’m strange for asking a neighbor to see if my house is burning down from my stove. I guess that’s just something the neighbor is going to have to live with. Lol. I really don’t think there’s that much to think about. I received the neighbors response a certain way and there’s no way to change it. It’s odd saying stuff like that is strange. And it sounds like you don’t want to do it. Guess what. It’s not strange. And now I don’t want you to do it even more than you don’t want to do it. Is this really crazy? I mean who says. This is a strange request, like OP asked them to put some Nutella on a football and throw it into their Koi pond because that’s how all of their algae get their nutrients for the day? Not strange and not gonna bother.

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u/saturday_sun4 4h ago

But that's what I mean.

OP would've been within their rights not to bother/care and just ignore it or brush it off and call someone else. Fine.

Them posting it on reddit later without having the barest bit of courtesy themselves is what I find hypocritical.

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u/DPlurker 3h ago

Oh please forgive me for not wanting to do favors for you neighbor-sama, I should be honored 🙇‍♂️ Lol, my neighbors know my name and that's it. I don't need their help, I'm good.

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u/saturday_sun4 3h ago edited 3h ago

Yeah, wouldn't put it quite that way, but this is kind of where I come from as well. Not everyone wants to help their neighbours! Just because you happen to live next to someone doesn't mean you have to be comfortable going inside their house especially when they've not even told you how to access it. I can see someone thinking it is strange - yes, it's rude to say it outright, but in a world of smartphones and oven timers, internally I also would be a little, "Sure I'll do it but shouldn't you be a bit more responsible and double check?"

OP's tone is also overly casual and too rambly. It's jarring.

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u/DPlurker 3h ago

I'm just being overly abrasive because they are acting entitled to their neighbors help. A favor is just that, a favor. I don't like it when extroverts feel that they're entitled to my time and energy. I don't want to have my neighbors in my business.

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u/Additional-Walk3883 3h ago

What happens when you have fallen and you can’t get up?

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u/DPlurker 3h ago

Everybody has to go sometime. I work in an ER, it happens, I don't need my neighbors help.

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u/Additional-Walk3883 3h ago

Dude what are you even saying. You are gonna army crawl to the hospital? Or you are saying you are never ever going to make a mistake that allows you be in a dependent position where your decisions are life and death because your body is in a critical condition? And if you were, there is absolutely zero chance that your neighbors will be involved in the rescue that’s for sure.

One or more things are true: you work on the vending machines (or are contracted to do work where you literally have no visual on patients there, which is basically impossible) at the ER therefore have absolutely not medical background of how those patients got there. Hint: it’s not because they are healthy and perfect like you.

And two: you are delusional. At least One of them are true. Probably both. No other options.

I am a nurse.

Stop arguing for the sake of arguing. You lost the argument. And the game. You lost the game.

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u/DPlurker 2h ago

Lol, I'm saying that I see them die. I'm well aware that it could happen to me. I have friends and family and EMS is how the patients should be traveling if they are critical. I used to work security and currently I've been working as a CNA in the ED for two years while going to nursing school. I'm not pretending that I have any credentials.

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u/JosieOffline 5h ago

Assuming someone’s intent from a few lines of casual, friendly text is absolutely wild though. You’re automatically assuming hostile intent when they’re literally saying good morning and agree to go over in the text. There are many ways someone might use the word “strange,” it’s possible she just meant “this is unexpected”.

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u/Additional-Walk3883 4h ago

Is that really necessary to put in text? I see people send me stuff and I think” what in the actual F are you talking about you crazy bastard.” And I don’t out that in a text right? And there’s not much left to imagination here. This is a strange request means something out of the ordinary, of which requires effort and time beyond the usual amount to solve. This is not a strange request. The birth or clearly doesn’t want to help and is being passive aggressive and making OP sound stupid. At that point, just say you don’t want to help and stay at home.

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u/saturday_sun4 4h ago

I do agree there though. It's not a polite thing to say and it comes off as passive aggressive to me. If you mean unexpected, just say that. "Strange" is oddly blunt and unnecessary. I'd also assume they were upset/rude if I saw that.