r/Adulting • u/weareinfin1te • 13h ago
what’s the point of living if you don’t enjoy life
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u/JudgementalChair 9h ago
Just because you didn't enjoy today, does not mean you won't enjoy tomorrow (metaphorically)
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u/hardwell_latebus 5h ago
some days just suck and we just have to deal with it, but it doesn’t mean the next one’s gonna be the same.
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u/That_Engine_6755 10h ago
Paying taxes to the Epstein class my dude. Isn’t it great here? I love my loosh farm.
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u/BlueberryandDino 13h ago
To help others 🤷♂️
It’s really weird, the more you help others the more you enjoy life too most of the time as long as you have somewhat healthy boundaries
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u/weareinfin1te 13h ago
the second you are left alone the void will get you
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u/BlueberryandDino 13h ago
lol I have met Mr. Void … I’m not good friends with him that’s for sure!!
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u/giftopherz 11h ago
No joy just maximization of shareholder value! Didn't you read the manual?
I wish I could provide words of encouragement but I'm on the same boat. I happen to be an oddball in the middle of... evenballs? and it's insufferable being on this place. There has to be something worth for both of us. I do hope you find it and get to enjoy it.
Sending you all the hugs I wish I could get and strength to believe you can find something worthy 🤗🤗🤗🤗
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u/silliestgoose1234 10h ago
Oddballs in the middle of evenballs!! I am right here with y’all. Experienced two significant losses this year (mom passed away and finally free of a long term toxic relationship) and am just struggling to get through a work day.
We got this 💖🙏🏼💖🙏🏼💖
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u/weareinfin1te 10h ago
i really hope we’ll find something worthy one day!!
also i like the way you write
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u/ChiliDog762 13h ago
Find something to enjoy. Start by getting some therapy.
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u/BenShumard 11h ago
I think a lot of people would probably end it if they didn't think they would have to leave behind family and friends that would be upset. You know maybe they have a sister with a niece and nephew or something and I don't want to make their sister have to explain to their niece and nephew whether and her uncle isn't around anymore.
There's also this fact that I think is hard to hear. I know people don't want to hear it because it's not always easy for people. But the whole big secret is that you have to get ahead. You just have to find a way to get ahead. And some people have bad luck or bad circumstances. But if you can get just enough ahead you're pretty much set.
I got a head early on in my adult life but I wouldn't necessarily recommend my path. And I also screwed up after because I was depressed and I blew through money I should have blew through. But I also made the Sound Decision to buy by my house when interest rates were low and do a 15-year mortgage. And what that means is that when I'm 43 my house will be paid off and I won't need to make a lot of money.
Basically by the time I'm 43 my big life expenses will be paid and everything I make will be mine so I can easily make you know less than some people and put more away
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u/Alone_Listless 10h ago
I think part of the problem is this idea that we’re supposed to be happy all the time. As though happiness is some destination we’re all supposed to reach, and if we don’t, we’re somehow doing life wrong.
Joy and pleasure are wonderful, but they’re temporary. I’m not convinced happiness is even the point.
For me, it’s more about the purpose and meaning I choose to give life, whether that’s something significant or just an ordinary interaction with another person.
Personally, what I’m ultimately seeking is an experience of oneness or wholeness. Call it love, God, whatever you want. I believe it’s already there, and the work isn’t so much about finding it as it is removing the barriers we’ve created to experiencing it.
There’s a line from A Course in Miracles that has stuck with me for years: “Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.”
I think life gives us endless opportunities to do exactly that. Every judgment, resentment, fear, disappointment, or person who pisses us off gives us an opportunity to look at ourselves and question the meaning we’re assigning to what we experience.
Of course, that’s a hell of a lot easier to understand intellectually than it is to actually practice.
So these days, I don’t particularly chase happiness or joy. I’m more interested in peace, contentment, and learning to experience life without constantly needing it to be different than it is.
And then sometimes I just want to get laid. Although lately that seems more elusive than enlightenment. 😜
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u/brunogadaleta 8h ago
I also like this quasi quote from Seneca "We often suffer more in thought than in reality". Stoics says, you shouldn't stress for things you control, because you control them ; nor for things you don't control because you don't control them. It relieves me a little bit.
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u/The-Boy-Wonder38 12h ago
Because living is better than being dead, spoken as an attempted murder survivor at 13. My life has been so fucked that 100 trauma specialists turned me away at the door saying I was beyond their “qualifications” to even be able to treat. But, at least being alive means life can change - almost dying means there’s no chance at all to. At 38, life has become a lot better.
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u/Think_Bear_3791 12h ago
Spite or curiosity. And in the darkest moments pleasures
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u/weareinfin1te 11h ago
can you tell me what spite means, i saw a couple of people saying the same.
sorry for being a dumbass
i’m trying to expand my vocabulary in english and i’m not sure if google is right about the definition lol1
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u/Character-Rock2365 10h ago
Because somewhere deep in my heart I hope it'll get better eventually, like I've already endured so much,why give up now?
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u/kemp509 12h ago
You can reprogram your brain to find joy in life and in turn enjoy it. It starts with daily practice of finding things in your life you are grateful for. Step out of your own head and find ways to be of service to others as well. No one is stuck not being able to enjoy their life if they make the choice to do the things that will bring long term joy instead of only seeking instant gratification
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u/weareinfin1te 12h ago
i live an ordinary life,i do things that i have to do and i try to do things that make me happy but still i wake up in the morning with a heavy feeling on my chest before even realizing i woke up,i’m trying to change my mind and think more positive but inside i feel like this is what i am supposed to feel for most of my life
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u/Striking_Piano_9196 11h ago
I guess the hope that it’s gets better eventually. But that isn’t the case for everyone. I’m lucky I stuck around. It definitely got a lot better for me!
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u/JTynanious 11h ago
For me, this is the fundamental question in life. Essentially, so what?
I don't care for the other contributions of spite. That's not really helping the world or yourself.
Practically I might look first to the Japanese mindset of doing the things that you do, very well. Take care in doing them. It doesn't matter what it is that you do, life can be about focusing yourself in what you actually do. Because it's kinda irrelevant on what you actually do.
Second thought is that your mindset and how you understand the world change with age and experience. You may not enjoy things now, but you may enjoy the things you currently don't enjoy now later. Like flossing. Why, why did I not start flossing daily 25 years ago? My mouth feels great!
I hope you find a path. I think it's a battle we all wage, mostly with ourselves and how we want to interpret the world. It's really nice if you can shift your mind into a different framing of your lived experience. Good luck friend. I'll be thinking of you today.
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u/weareinfin1te 10h ago
as humans i think we will never truly be happy with what we have or who we are.
i agree with Kierkegaard
theory about whatever you choose you’ll regret it, i think its our task to decide if that’s a good or a bad thing.
but like you said it’s a battle we all wage.also thank you for you comment i feel like you really did understand my question and good luck too!
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u/iamsuperhuman007 10h ago
Why not enjoy everything life has given, is giving and will give you
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u/weareinfin1te 10h ago
because that’s not the life we are meant to live,study,school, work,feeling exhausted at the end of the day everyday…what is the reason of this?
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u/iamsuperhuman007 9h ago
No that’s exactly what we’re meant to do - work, study, do exercise, engage with people and then sleep.
Enjoy doing all of these everyday irrespective of the circumstances or situation, learning to be happy.
That’s all there’s in life, nothing more. Even the richest do the same, average do the same. The poorest do the same.
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u/Da-Snow 9h ago
I felt like this for a long time. Couldn't tell you how I got out of it. Sometimes it comes and goes in waves, sometimes I don't even realize it, but it does get better friend. I have way more good days than bad days now. Everyone has their own way of digging themselves out of it. Find something you like and stick to it. Make friends. Drink water. Get sunshine. Grab a book or a video game. Work on a skill. Distract yourself and get immersed in something until you forget your troubles.
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u/Mueryk 9h ago
Don’t try to enjoy everything and be happy all the time.
Enjoy little moments. A piece of chocolate, that feeling after you sneeze, a nap.
Then be grateful for what you have and remind yourself how awesome it is that you get to do XXXXX. At a minimum at least you aren’t on fire.
It won’t fix everything but it is a start.
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u/Chick-Fil-A_Guest 8h ago
Contributing to someone else's happiness or contributing to society 🤷♀️ I volunteer more when I feel like crap. Gives me purpose. It of course doesn't work for self centered people though 😆
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u/SkyeGuy8108 7h ago
Because you have the privilege of working hard to ensure that when a billionaire is bored with their 3rd yacht they can easily buy a fourth
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u/YoungindaSP1 7h ago
Sometimes i think we were all tricked into this life and we really are just here to work for some other life forms life source. Best best is to not go into the light once its all over
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u/Mundane-Ice-7685 12h ago
Life doesn’t necessarily have some grand purpose that you need to discover. You are here, in this form, for a finite period of time. Make the best of it, whatever your circumstances.
Your life, your experiences, your joys and your struggles are yours. Stop measuring them against other people’s lives or worrying so much about what others think.
Much of our suffering comes not from our circumstances themselves, but from our resistance to them, our expectations, and our constant belief that something needs to change before we can be happy.
When you stop chasing happiness and learn to be comfortable with what is, you may find that much of your suffering begins to ease.
And perhaps you’ll discover that being alone isn’t necessarily a void that needs filling. You might actually be perfectly happy just as you are.
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u/NamasteNoodle 11h ago
You're free to create the life for you that you want. If you feel no gumption to do that I guess you have no future that you're going to be happy with..
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u/weareinfin1te 11h ago
you’re right but unfortunately not everyone has the same possibilities.
most of the times people chose to live in a known hell than in a unknown paradise2
u/NamasteNoodle 11h ago
Everyone has the same possibilities. And even saying that you don't have the same possibilities is telling your brain that that's the case. You have to be careful what you tell your brain, it believes you. And nobody has to do what the masses normally do. You make your choices individually and live with them.
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u/TaylorWK 11h ago
The point? There isnt a point. If you mean, why dont we all commit suicide? Well, people dont like when people do that.
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u/weareinfin1te 10h ago
well if we all commit big companies wouldn’t have slaves that’s why the government wants us alive
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u/brunogadaleta 8h ago edited 8h ago
You don't see it yet but there is a LOT of happiness, amazement out there and in there, waiting to be found.
Not 24/7 ectase for the rest of your life but small, mundane moments of true happiness like (for me) laughing for something stupid, eating a nice meal, reading an entertaining book, loving or being loved.
Life is not black or white, its all nuanced. As far as I understand things, your duty, is to search and find these moment by asking yourself repeatedly: isn't a little bit of joy to be found, right here, right now? For some it's natural but for others like you and me it requires an deliberate effort.
Hint: every day, be kind and help others for no reason, so that when you'll inevitably leave this planet (very old hopefully), you'll see that -- in this vast universe of void-ness -- you will have found your little something to hang on because your made the world a better place.
I had this exact discussion for 2 hours with my 17 years old daughter this evening. HTH.
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u/CantStandYa_Ad5083 2h ago
Just keep going. Just keep living. That’s the point. There is a beauty in keeping on when you don’t want to. We don’t have to but we do because that’s living.
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u/Slashersforsatan 2h ago
If youre in a dark place - Unnatural death is almost never painless. Esp if you diy it. Even if its quick, its very easy to mess up and just disable you for life. It wont be peaceful.
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u/Immediate-Salad-5471 1h ago
Bro 💯 your not gunna find happiness on Reddit. Your going to find happiness out there in the real world. This doesn't matter.
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u/Solmanti 13h ago
You can't feel happiness without sorrow
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u/weareinfin1te 12h ago
the problem is that there is nothing that bad going on in my life.I feel somewhere between not feeling anything and everything at the same time.
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u/Solmanti 11h ago
Well there is a saying that says be carful what you wish for because what you wish for will actually come to you. Just normally not in the way you expect it.
You think you should be happy because nothing bad is going on in your life? Wrong. You have to learn the value of happiness first by enduring pain and suffering and then you will learn to appreciate it when life becomes calm and eventless.
I once wished to have a more important role in my household. I was thrown into the most dire situations and people I saw as having important roles left until I was the only one left to take the lead. I involuntarily got what I wanted and became competent and important but it came with a price. Now, I sometimes yearn back for the times where I was free of responsibility when I was young and naïve and wished for the place I am in now. Again, be careful what you wish for because life has it's way of granting it to you in one way or another but at a price. At the same time I will not encourage you to stop wanting it or say it will get better soon when it won't because going through that experience and realising it yourself in a few years is mandatory. Maybe you'll remember these words one day when you're there maybe not. You probably won't be able to gain much from my words right now. I wish you luck.
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u/KevinIsADork 12h ago
Just hoping to live long enough to more scientific and technological advances. Thats what keeps me going. My grandma got to experience the invention of television, the first nuclear weapon, the moon landing, the internet, 4k television/movies, and virtual reality. Who knows what will be around in 50-60 years. Im sure it'll be cool as shit if we dont blow the planet up.
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u/weareinfin1te 12h ago
that’s interesting
but i think that if you ask your grandmother if life was better before or now i’m pretty sure she would say before.now we have too many things
i hope everyday somebody will find a cure for td1 or celiac diseases tho
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u/hammerton 13h ago
spite