Assuming you're already to the point that the woman wants to have sex with you, just talk to them.
Literally, that's the biggest key.
Every woman is different. Some basically need a jackhammer on their clit to get off, others will snap their legs shut like a bear trip if a slight breeze blows across it. Most can't finish from penetration alone, so even during sex, don't neglect the clit assuming she's into that. Vibrators and toys are your allies in getting her off, not your competition, don't be afraid of them, use them. Or have her use a vibrator on herself while you're fucking her. Getting her across the finish line is the goal, it doesn't really matter to her how you get her there so don't let your ego get in the way of that.
So you ask what they like and then pay attention to their non-verbal cues while doing it.
One of the things I would do is have my hand between her legs, put her hand on top of mine, and ask her to show me how she likes being played with. That gives you a really good idea of the pressure and speed she's looking for.
For a lot of women, they need you to do the same thing consistently to orgasm. Changing up your speed or position too often makes it hard to build up a good head of steam. That's not to say you only do one position, but if she tells you to keep going, don't go faster, don't go slower, don't change positions, keep doing exactly what you're doing because she is actively telling you what you are doing is working.
Foreplay is also a huge thing some guys tend to neglect because they're so excited to stick it in. I look at foreplay as the excitement generator. By the time we're done, I want her to be sopping wet and begging for sex.
Talk about kinks and what you both like. Some women are vanilla and that's perfectly fine. They would absolutely hate to be choked, degraded or slapped and if you do so without asking they're going to rightfully be upset. Other woman want you to choke the shit out of them while calling them names that would make a drill instructor blush. Most women are somewhere in the middle, but you never know if they like being spanked on the ass, but are super opposed to being choked, or they like being called slut, but hate the word whore. Never try kinky stuff without asking.
Porn isn't an instruction manual. Porn is to sex what pro-wrestling is to a fight outside a gas station. If you try to do a high flying wrestling move against some dude who knows how to fight, you're either going to jail for manslaughter or more likely going to get the shit kicked out of you. Porn is a manufactured product where the goal is to titillate and entertain.
So again, everyone is different and there's no one size fits all solution. So you have to talk to them and find out what does it for them specifically. Ideally, you will have already shown that you're a safe person they can trust with that kind of normally private information. If you're too emberassed to talk about sex, you're not really ready for sex. Communication is key.
Physically speaking, you also need to do some cardio, pushups and crunches. Good sex is a workout. You don't have to be ripped or anything like that, but if you can't go up a flight of stairs without breathing hard, vigorous sex is going to be more of a challenge.
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u/Sea2Chi 12h ago edited 12h ago
Assuming you're already to the point that the woman wants to have sex with you, just talk to them.
Literally, that's the biggest key.
Every woman is different. Some basically need a jackhammer on their clit to get off, others will snap their legs shut like a bear trip if a slight breeze blows across it. Most can't finish from penetration alone, so even during sex, don't neglect the clit assuming she's into that. Vibrators and toys are your allies in getting her off, not your competition, don't be afraid of them, use them. Or have her use a vibrator on herself while you're fucking her. Getting her across the finish line is the goal, it doesn't really matter to her how you get her there so don't let your ego get in the way of that.
So you ask what they like and then pay attention to their non-verbal cues while doing it.
One of the things I would do is have my hand between her legs, put her hand on top of mine, and ask her to show me how she likes being played with. That gives you a really good idea of the pressure and speed she's looking for.
For a lot of women, they need you to do the same thing consistently to orgasm. Changing up your speed or position too often makes it hard to build up a good head of steam. That's not to say you only do one position, but if she tells you to keep going, don't go faster, don't go slower, don't change positions, keep doing exactly what you're doing because she is actively telling you what you are doing is working.
Foreplay is also a huge thing some guys tend to neglect because they're so excited to stick it in. I look at foreplay as the excitement generator. By the time we're done, I want her to be sopping wet and begging for sex.
Talk about kinks and what you both like. Some women are vanilla and that's perfectly fine. They would absolutely hate to be choked, degraded or slapped and if you do so without asking they're going to rightfully be upset. Other woman want you to choke the shit out of them while calling them names that would make a drill instructor blush. Most women are somewhere in the middle, but you never know if they like being spanked on the ass, but are super opposed to being choked, or they like being called slut, but hate the word whore. Never try kinky stuff without asking.
Porn isn't an instruction manual. Porn is to sex what pro-wrestling is to a fight outside a gas station. If you try to do a high flying wrestling move against some dude who knows how to fight, you're either going to jail for manslaughter or more likely going to get the shit kicked out of you. Porn is a manufactured product where the goal is to titillate and entertain.
So again, everyone is different and there's no one size fits all solution. So you have to talk to them and find out what does it for them specifically. Ideally, you will have already shown that you're a safe person they can trust with that kind of normally private information. If you're too emberassed to talk about sex, you're not really ready for sex. Communication is key.
Physically speaking, you also need to do some cardio, pushups and crunches. Good sex is a workout. You don't have to be ripped or anything like that, but if you can't go up a flight of stairs without breathing hard, vigorous sex is going to be more of a challenge.