I just want to hear that I'm an asshole.

I'm Chinese, married to a husband who not Chinese. We 17 years together, 15 years married.

My parents (whom both deceased now) but back when they alive, especially my mother, she never accepted my husband because of his ethnicity. Up until my mother death she still not accepted him as a son in-law.

My mother has no reason to discriminate against him (other than he not Chinese), because this is a very educated man, we talking about Master degree at Stanford educated. And a career of Executive with a 1 million salary a year.

I write that out because Chinese mothers they want someone who financially stable that can take care of their daughter, which my husband has that, therefore there no reason for why my mother not accept him.

But what matter is he treats me really really well 16 years long, faithful to me, dotes on me in bed and outside of bed, he is an awesome husband.

I know I love him, 17 years long I'm faithful to him just as he faithful to me. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I only love him and want him. The thoughts of other men touch me gross me the F out. I love him so much that I never think of continue go on living if God forbid he die before me.

BUT why I just cannot get pass the fact that he not Chinese. This is something that I struggle with in the whole 16 years with him, it not new. It the internal struggle that I have internal conflict inside myself. It like I won't let myself love him.

I am scare, that I'm indeed just like my mother who discriminate against him. But I know I'm not, it just for some reason I cannot accept his ethnicity. I don't know how to explain it, it like it is taboo to love him. I not even sure taboo is the right word, as English is my third language.

I did think perhaps I have a very dysfunctional childhood, my childhood fuck me up, so in my adulthood I just won't let myself be happy, that I'm self-sabotage. But the thing is, both my parents deceased already, I am free of that shackle. But why I just won't allow myself to love him.

Last year, my sister(19) ran away from our home after meeting a 45 years old Muslim man who works as a tailor. Moreover, she stole money from my parents as that man was unable to earn enough to make their ends met.

My parents were obviously against this relationship and filed a missing person's report when she ran away. After the cops found her, they asked my parents to come and meet and her to reach a resolution. My sister that she'll not return their money and wished they were dead. My parents were obviously heartbroken after this. Me and her were already low in contact before this and the same continued.

Last month, I got to know that her husband was already married to two other women and was forcing her to convert to Islam. She tried to reach us for help but my parents told her she died for them that day in the police station and never to call them again. She tried to plead me for help but I refused and reminded her that she made choices as an adult, and I am not responsible for them. Last week, I got to know that she was hospitalized and was not in good condition, but I remained indifferent.

Half of my friends also know her, and want me to help her. The other half agree with me and saying she is getting what she deserves. So, AITA for supporting my sister's individual decisions?

My sister has started asking me to watch her daughter almost every weekend because she says she needs a break and trusts me more than anyone else
At first I didnt mind helping out, but now she tells me when to come instead of actually asking me. Sometimes Ive already made plans and she gets annoyed when I say I cant do it
Last weekend I told her I wanted to spend my day off relaxing at home and she said I was being selfish because family should help family
I love my niece and enjoy spending time with her, but I dont want babysitting to become an automatic responsibility just because Im available sometimes
Now my sister is barely talking to me and my mom says I should be more understanding
AITA for refusing to babysit every weekend?

I(f) met this guy during my third week of school, and we hit it off pretty quickly. He asked for my Instagram, and I got his TikTok. In person, he was genuinely funny, smart, and kind. He helped me find my classrooms, noticed when I was feeling down, and we could joke around for hours. I really enjoyed being around him.

However, texting him was a completely different experience. He rarely matched my energy, and our conversations almost always turned into a therapy session about his looks or how to become a better person. He would ask if I was annoyed with him, and I tried reassuring him, but it got emotionally exhausting having to constantly comfort him. It was strange because our conversations in person flowed so naturally.

One day, he mentioned terms like “HTB” and “sub 3.” I had no idea what they meant, so I looked them up later and discovered he was reposting blackpill content. I don’t think wanting to improve your appearance is bad. Hygiene and self-improvement are perfectly fine, but categorizing people based on their looks started making me uncomfortable.
What really concerned me was a TikTok asking people for their hot takes. He commented that Elliot Rodger wasn’t a bad person. For those who don’t know, Elliot Rodger committed the 2014 Isla Vista killings. I genuinely don’t understand how someone can defend him. Loneliness and rejection don’t justify murdering innocent people.

Around the same time, I started distancing myself from him. I eventually asked if he liked me, and he said yes, but I was already questioning whether I wanted anything romantic with him. It felt like I knew one version of him in person and another online.
The confusing part is that he really was nice to me. I know he’s insecure about his appearance, so I complimented him because I didn’t want him to overthink everything. I’m worried that rejecting him will make him hate himself even more.
However, his constant negativity was starting to affect my mood, too. I like helping people feel better, but there’s only so much reassurance you can give someone. His reposts also made me question his views on women and other people.
I don’t think he’s necessarily a terrible person, but I don’t want to date someone just because they’re nice to me when their online activity makes me uncomfortable.

My sister has a habit of asking me for help and then acting like she did everything herself. I never really minded because she is family and I wanted to see her succeed.

Last month, she asked me to help her prepare a presentation for an important event. I spent hours helping her organize everything and improve her ideas. When the event was over, she told everyone she had done it all by herself.

I was hurt, but I stayed quiet.

A few weeks later, she asked me to help her with another presentation. This time, I politely told her I couldn't do it because I had my own responsibilities.

She got upset and said I was being selfish over something so small. My parents agreed with her and said helping family shouldn't be such a big deal.

I told them that helping her was never the problem. The problem was that she kept taking credit for my effort and expected me to keep doing it.

Now my sister says I'm jealous of her success, and my family thinks I should apologize to keep the peace.

AITA for finally refusing to help her after she repeatedly took credit for my work?

I’m 42m and have a couple friends that visit amusement parks with me. One of them, 52f, is one of those that everything happens to. If there’s a sidewalk bump, she’ll trip and fall on it. If she drives in less than perfect conditions, she’ll have an accident (had a few recently). She’s an 80 year old woman in a 52 year old body. She’s especially has issues staying awake, and issues driving with frequent incidents.

Tonight we’re going to an amusement park and will be there until midnight. We won’t get back to my place (where her car is) until 2am. She’s insistent that at that time, she’s driving an hour and a half to her boyfriend’s place. Four of us are begging her not to, but she’s insistent, despite that she could just go in the morning instead.

Her mom, late 70s, is like a drill sergeant. Sharp tongue, aggressive personality, and barbarically controlling. My friend is still afraid of her mom and abides by every order given. I do have a relationship with her mom.

I’m tempted to call her mom, explain things, and ask her to forbid this. I know the call will work, and stop her from making this drive until morning. I know it’s not my business, not my place, and probably violating boundaries considerably - but I’m contemplating doing it anyway.

WIBTAH if I call a 52 year old woman’s mommy to stop her from making this drive?

Opinions would be great, thank you!

So my sister-in-law took me out of her bridal party last Sunday, less than a month before her wedding, and now she wants my dress for the girl who’s replacing me.

She asked me to be a bridesmaid back in April and I said yes right away, we’ve always gotten along fine. In June the other girls and I went to the bridal shop together and I paid $230 for the dress, which is this burnt orange color because the wedding’s Halloween weekend.

On Sunday she called and said she was “going in a different direction” with the bridal party. Her fiancé’s sister wanted to be in it and they needed even numbers with the groomsmen for the pictures, so somebody had to go and apparently it was me. I was hurt but I told her okay, it’s her wedding.

Since the shop can’t order another one in time and her fiancé’s sister is “basically your size,” she texted me Monday asking me to drop my dress off at her place this weekend because I “won’t need it anymore anyway.” I texted back that the new bridesmaid can have it once I’m paid back. I bought that dress with MY money for a spot I don’t have anymore.

She offered me $100 for it instead, because I’d “already gotten some use out of it” at the fittings. I’ve worn that dress exactly twice, both times standing on a little box while a lady pinned the hem.

On Wednesday night her fiancé’s sister messaged me herself and she was really sweet about it. She said nobody had told her I paid for the dress myself. She sent me the full $230 before I even answered, and she came by for the dress yesterday after work.

Last night my SIL found out and texted me to send the $230 back to her fiancé’s sister. She says she’ll pay me herself “after the honeymoon.”

AITA?

Ever since I was 5, I (now 30M) have known this half-White/French, half-Japanese woman who is now 38 years old. Back when I was a kid, I used to have a crush on her, and I remember sometimes when I was less than 10 years old, I would ask if I could "marry" her. Every time I asked this, she would just get totally flustered and not know what to do, but it never really disturbed her or anything. She's always seen herself as an older sister to me, but I don't really like that "sister" label. She's always been very cute, and I remember a bunch of my peers back in my childhood also had crushes on her, but we all just acted politely in front of her because, well, she's cute and we wanted to please her.

We somewhat drifted apart during the late 2010s and for a bit of this decade, but we reconnected a few years ago, and she let me know that she was getting married to this man who is now 35 years old. As I got to know this man, he has a very friendly, outgoing surface personality but I sensed some coercion in their relationship, coming solely from him.

Their wedding happened in the summer of 2024. We spent the day near a beach, and we had a great time except I felt a bit of sadness and sorrow because it meant that she's no longer available. Here's where things got kinda scary for her: in the evening, while she, her husband and I were the only guests remaining and we were all relaxing on the beach, her husband urged her to take her shirt off and show off her black bikini top that he bought for her. She could only say "what" and act a little bit freaked out, but in the end, she did take her shirt off and she spent the rest of the evening in her bikini top and her dress bottoms. She was trying to keep herself together, but I saw tears on her face and she was crying, although very quietly. During a quiet moment where she and I were alone in a nearby venue together, she hugged me and sobbed very uncomfortably, but I still took pictures of her with her shirt off without her noticing. I did it sneakily with my phone. I still have the pics of her, crying and without her shirt on. I've never shared these pics with anybody else before though, and I feel somewhat reassured, as if a part of her will always be with me, as cheesy as it sounds.

I'm 21F and my boyfriend is 44M. He drives a city bus, and we actually met while I was a passenger on his bus. He gave me his number, and our relationship developed from there.

Recently, he sent me a picture of a drawing a girl made of him. It had a message saying "Thank you for being so kind!" Exclamations dotted with hearts and smiley faces.

At first, I thought it might have been a child who gave it to him, so I didn't think much of it but I wasn't sure so I didn't say anything bc I didn't want to be wrong and feel insecure. Then he brought it up again, I asked her age, and he said she looked around 18. He then talked about how sweet she was and how talented she was at drawing him.

Passengers give him candy and other gifts regularly, which doesn't bother me. It was the personal nature of this particular gift that made me uncomfortable.

We've argued before because he compliments other women, like telling waitresses they have pretty nails or other women they have cute hair. He says he means it platonically, but it's made me insecure about how he interacts with women. Since he gave me his number while I was a passenger on his bus, I know these interactions can sometimes lead to something more as he's also given other girls his number on the bus in the past as well.. he's told me he hasn't been complimenting girls like that anymore since we fought about it so much but I cant actually know that for sure which makes me feel uncertain because he would claim I was just insecure and jealous and it's normal.

I told him keeping the drawing made me uncomfortable, and he eventually threw it away. I don't know if she had a crush on him, but the gift felt unusually personal to me.

I didn't force him to throw it away but I told him keeping it made me feel uncomfortable... I honestly feel kind of weird about the fact that I had to even ask.. I asked a few friends and family about it as well because I'm unsure and they all agreed it was really weird and they would have thrown it away.

\*\*AITA for feeling uncomfortable about this, or am I letting my insecurities get the better of me?\*\*

My coworker gave me a 1,000-piece puzzle as a joke after I mentioned that I like doing puzzles. I started working on it during my lunch breaks and ended up getting really into it. Over the next few weeks, I kept a small section of the puzzle on my desk and slowly worked on it whenever I had free time. Eventually, I got to the last 30 or so pieces. One afternoon, my coworker came over and noticed I was almost finished. She laughed and said she wanted to put in the final piece herself because technically it was her puzzle. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that because I'd spent weeks putting it together. She said she had only given it to me and never said I could claim it. I told her she was welcome to take it back after I finished, but I wasn't giving her the satisfaction of placing the final piece. She thought I was being ridiculously possessive over a puzzle and said I was ruining the joke she originally intended. I eventually stopped working on it and put all the pieces back in the box because I didn't want an argument over something so stupid. Now she's telling our coworkers that I took a harmless gift way too seriously. I feel like if someone gives you something and watches you spend weeks working on it, they can't suddenly decide they deserve the final moment just because they originally owned it.

AITA?

Tuesday night I sat down to pay the photographer’s deposit out of our wedding account and the balance was $3,000 lower than it should’ve been.

My fiancé and I opened a joint savings account right after we got engaged last fall. Part of both our paychecks goes in automatically, and we agreed nothing comes out of it unless it’s for the wedding, which is next June. I keep a spreadsheet of every vendor and every payment so we both know where we are, he’s never once opened it but that’s a separate thing.

The money went to his brother back at the start of the month. His brother is starting a food truck with a buddy from his old job and needed it for the deposit on a commercial kitchen they’re renting by the hour, which I didn’t even know was a thing until Tuesday.

I asked my fiancé about it that night. He said it’s a loan and his brother will pay it back “by spring.” He told me he didn’t ask first because he knew I’d say no. Our second venue payment is due the first week of November, and with that money gone we can’t cover it and the photographer both.

So on Wednesday I moved every dollar I’d put in since last fall into my own savings account. It’s easy to show line by line because all of it came straight out of my paycheck. I left everything he put in, minus the $3,000. I told him the venue payment can come out of his side and I’ll pay the photographer from mine.

He says it’s “our money” and I’m acting like he stole from me. I told him I’ll put mine back in the joint account once the money’s back in it.

Then last night his brother sent me $50. The note on it says “first payment” and there’s a little taco emoji next to it.

AITA?

I, 18F, have always been an overthinker. Since childhood my thoughts were very different compared to my family and I've always been the child whose talks are unheard. So after i turned 7, i started writing my own personal diary, and I wrote everything in that, like every single second which happened.

A little backstory - I've always been a girl with no friends, no proper relationship with anyone, the most sensitive one and because I'd cry over any little sensitive comment, my family barely talked to me.

Eventually, my mother changed, now she wants to talk to me, spend time with me but now - i don't want to. After years of being alone and making my diary my home, i just don't want anyone. While cleaning my room, my mom found all my diaries, i refused to let her read any of them not even a single page, she kept on insisting she only wanted to read them to know me better, but I refused.

Later, after an emotional blackmail, i let her read a few pages. Big mistake. She began making comments to me during random conversations which hurt like hell , "If i cut you off in the middle, you'll write it down" "If i don't let you go, you'll write it down" and so on. Eventually, she took my diary again, especially of this year 2026, but i refused her to read. She blackmailed me again but still i didn't. The same night, i threw each and every diary of mine without letting her know.

Next morning, she asked where my diaries were, upon knowing, she began crying, and making comments like how she wasn't able to be a good mother and everything.

(Posting again because of some mistakes)
My brother (38M) and I (20F) have an 18-year age difference. Because of this age gap, we were never really like siblings. He, let’s call him Luca, was married to my ex-sister-in-law, let’s call her Julia, my whole childhood, and they have a son together. She was like a sister to me all these years because she has been in my life since I was 2.
A few years ago, they decided to divorce. We still kept in contact because we considered each other family. A few months after the divorce, my brother started dating a new girl, let’s call her Anna. Even though I was sceptical about her at first, her character and effort to include me in plans made me develop a closer relationship with my brother that I never had and I was extremely grateful to her.

A few months later, I moved to another country. Julia had already started a new relationship and we were still communicating. My brother and Anna came to visit me. I love taking videos, so I took some videos of us and posted them without thinking twice. After that, Julia never contacted me again.
A few weeks after the incident, I learned from my mother that Julia could not believe I had just publicly posted Anna and that people were asking her about the videos, and she felt deeply betrayed by me. It was like I had publicly announced their relationship through the videos to their friends, and they did not already know. Everyone already knew.

A few months forward, I went back home and my mum was talking to her on the phone. At some point, Julia mentioned again that she was deeply hurt by me. I grabbed the phone and told her that what I did was an intrusive thing that I had no intention of doing to hurt her, but what she was doing (going no contact with me) was fully conscious and she was doing it to hurt me. I also told her that I had deleted her from my life.

The thing is that I understand she was hurt by my actions, but I don’t understand the fact that she decided to never contact me again because of it, even though she has known me since I was two. I even once called my nephew and she answered the phone, and when she heard it was me, she stopped speaking so she wouldn’t have to talk to me.

Almost a year and a half later, she is pregnant with her new boyfriend’s baby, and she still has made no effort to contact me or restore our relationship.

So, Reddit… am I the asshole?

My mother in law picks our daughter up from school every Friday and takes her to dinner. My daughter has called it Grandma Friday since she was 5 and she just turned 7 last week.

A few weeks ago my MIL asked if she could take her to get her ears pierced for her birthday. My husband and I both said no. Our daughter cried through her flu shot last month and we want her to decide for herself when she’s older. My MIL said “okay, okay” and dropped it.

Last Friday our daughter came home with pierced ears and a little box with a card that said “now we match,” and my MIL had on the same gold studs. She said my daughter begged her and that every grandma does this. The place she took her to just had her sign the form as the guardian.

By Monday both of her ears were red and swollen and she was crying any time anything touched them. Urgent care said they were infected, the doctor took the studs out and put her on antibiotics, and it was $185 after insurance.

So I put the studs back in their little box with the “now we match” card and the urgent care bill, and I mailed it to my MIL.

She got it yesterday. She called me screaming that I’m sending her a bill for loving her granddaughter

AITA?

My wife and I have been married for 6 years. She’s generally thoughtful and organized, but there’s one habit of hers that has started bothering me. Whenever someone gives me something as a gift, my wife usually puts it somewhere safe because she thinks I’ll eventually lose or damage it. At first it was small things like watches, sunglasses, and gift cards. I didn’t really care. Last month, my brother gave me an old camera that belonged to our grandfather. It wasn’t particularly expensive, but it had a lot of sentimental value to me. My wife took it after dinner and said she was going to keep it in our storage cabinet because I leave things lying around. I asked her to give it back, but she said I was being dramatic and that she was only trying to protect it. A week later, I found out she had also put away a handwritten letter my dad gave me before he passed away. I had kept it in my desk drawer, and she moved it because she thought the drawer was too messy. That really upset me. I told her that I don't want her deciding which of my belongings I'm allowed to have access to, especially when some of them have sentimental value. She said I'm acting like she stole something from me when everything is still in our house. Her argument is that she takes better care of things than I do, and she genuinely believes she's helping. I told her that I don't need someone managing my possessions like I'm a child. Now she says I'm making a huge issue out of something that was never meant badly. So AITApod am I being unreasonable for being upset about this, or is there a bigger issue here than just where she keeps my stuff?

I wanted to give a small update because things have changed since my original post.

My sister called me yesterday. I thought she wanted to apologize, but instead she asked if I'd reconsider lending her the $600.

I told her I wasn't comfortable giving her money when she hadn't even acknowledged how she treated me at dinner.

She got upset and said I was holding a stupid joke against her. Then she told me that getting a better job had made me arrogant.

That honestly hurt more than the original comment.

Later, my dad called me privately. He said he understood my decision and that I shouldn't feel obligated to give away money just because I'm finally doing better financially.

For now, I've decided not to lend her anything. I still love my sister, and I genuinely hope she gets through her financial difficulties, but I don't want our relationship to revolve around what I can provide.

My mom is still upset with me, and things are awkward at home.

TL;DR: My sister asked for the money again without apologizing. I refused, and my dad finally supported my decision.

So last weekend my fiancé and I decided to take a short break and booked a room at a hotel for a few days
A couple days before we left, my sister mentioned that her husband had to go out of town for some mandatory work thing she sounded frustrated because they had plans, but he insisted it couldn’t be moved
we were checking in and walking toward the elevators when my fiancé suddenly stopped and grabbed my arm he whispered that he had just watched my sister’s husband walk into the lobby with a woman who was clearly not my sister they looked comfortable with each other, laughing, his hand on her back.
We stayed back and watched them head upstairs to a different floor my fiancé was visibly shaken. He wanted to walk over and say something right then, but I convinced him not to because all we had at that point was them arriving together
later that evening we were in the hotel restaurant and saw them again they were at a table, sharing plates, leaning in close, kissing, there was no mistaking it.
I did not want the whole trip ruined, but I also could not sit on what we had seen. I got angry and said we needed to tell her, I called my sister myself with my fiancé right beside me, I kept it straightforward we are staying at the same hotel with your husband, we saw him there with another woman, they were affectionate, and he had told her he was away from town for business.
She went quiet for a few seconds and then started crying, she thanked me for saying something then she drove drown to the hotel and she met us there but because she couldn’t have access to the room she sat with us downstairs waiting for him, behold he was going out with the side chick when we approached him he was shocked, my sister couldn’t hold it and she started crying again while confronting him, he tried to defend himself but he was speechless, the other lady left out of embarrassment.
Now some people in his family are mad at me for telling my sister and I told them this is my sister, I can’t watch someone she claims she loves cheat on her and play with her emotions.
Do you feel I shouldn’t have told my sister?