not a great past couple days…could use some words of encouragement

Probably some of you remember me from my previous post I made here in this sub, I wanna say thank you for the positive comments I received on those post that helped me with my depression.

I post this to see if my experience can help others who have been in the same situation as I had so they can see that not everything is over for them.

Months ago, ive been very depressed, had to deal with other issues besides my low self esteem but im getting better. Ive been struggling with my self image telling to my self that im disgusting looking, that no women would ever go out with me and that if i dont find love, I would end my own life. I needed women to tell me im handsome and to DM them. So I desperately posted on Facebook dating groups with no luck and posted on subreddit ratemes to only receive few comments like "3/10". Not to mention Omegle girls calling me a freak.

These experiences made me feel more and more depressed, every single day I had voices in my head telling me "you're creepy" "you're disgusting and ugly". Until the second time I posted here, ive received positive comments and people saying like I look like a certain actor. I searched this actor and he's not the typical Hollywood standards atractive guy but I saw why would other people consider him atractive, he looked authentic, ever since that i wanted to feel just like him.

So at the end I got tired of all this situation and told myself " Okay, I may be ugly for the majority of girls, but I'll try to look alternative because thats what I wanted to look like along time ago, doesn't matter if people dont find me attractive, at least I look good in my own eyes" and thats what happened, I stopped wanting to get attention from women and started to look like how I always wanted, now the negative voices in my head are gone. While this still hasn't help me get a gf (im not desperate for one at the moment) people come and talk to me, which didn't happen before.

Im happy how I look right know. With all this im not saying that you should also look alternative, but im trying to say that get a physical style that you always wanted to try, that way you will love yourself more without depending if a man/woman loves you. I know that deep down we will always want attention but we shouldn't let what people say or think that take over us, we should prioritize what we think about ourselves.

Hey toasty people, it's my turn to be toasted. I've had a challenging week, being held hostage by my own brain. Thankfully the sun is shining ✨️

My camera don’t want to cooperate with me :/ this is my message today

Lost my job this year. Prior severe depression, rehab, you know the story. Just tell me that it will get better.

ive been so unmotivated in general for the last like two months, and then these last few days swoop in like the literal plague to ruin my life. comparisons will be the death of me (and i thought getting rid of most social media would help), my home life sucks. i miss my cat, i want to spend my days doing more than staying in at home. i want to go to a concert. when’s the last time i went to a good concert? lord i need to get out of the house. 😕

recently out of a 12-year relationship. some days the grief is overwhelming, other days it feels like i'm gonna be okay. today is one of the good ones.

32 F, People always say my daughter looks just like me, and lately ive been spiraling worrying about it.

I was bullied relentlessly for my appearance in school, and im worried she will be too, Kids are mean man.

Single my whole life, kid was an anomaly, shes my whole world now.

Never accomplished anything in schooling, high-school degree and done, barely worked for 5 years.

Probebly going to have to work again once the kids in full time school, not looking forward to it, dont have anything I strive to do/be, other then stay existing and raise the kid right.

I’ve been hard on myself lately and I’m trying to be more positive about certain things and not compare myself to others. I’ve been feeling a bit lonely too since some people I was close with don’t talk to me anymore and I only have a few friends at college. It’s distracting me in a way.

Life feels great
Im looking forward to it
Toast 🥂

Recently I’ve been making an effort to fix my mental health and self image. Went through a life altering breakup last year after 7 years. Was the only girl I’ve ever been with and have had no luck finding anybody remotely interested in me since. Naturally, this hasn’t exactly made me feel good about myself lol

Mental health and self image in general has been pretty fucked. I’ve been making an effort to fix it and look at myself positively but it’s just so hard bro. I’ll get there eventually though I’m sure!

This is partially because I just finished an overnight 12 hour ER shift and am staying awake for another 10 minutes to make this post.

It's also partially cause I'm just a little bleh at the moment. I'm feeling stuck and need to get that bit of motivation to push me on to the next right thing.

My history is strange and mostly unexciting:

- Got my doctorate in music composition.

- Taught college for a few years and became a church organist and music director.

- Got a certificate in tech.

- Became a mainframe systems engineer.

- Got laid off.

- Decided to grow up and be a firefighter.

- Got certified as both a firefighter and EMT.

- Now I work as an ER Tech for a hospital while I look for a fulltime firefighter position.

I've had some movement in finding that job but still haven't landed anything. It's been almost a year since I finished getting my certs and it can be hard to not feel like a failure because of not having a position yet. I know things take time but every day that passes can feel like one more day I missed something or didn't do something else I should have done. I could genuinely use any encouragement that gives me the littlest bit of a smile to keep the spark lit and burning.

Hi guys, I'll do my best to keep things simple, but gosh, I can't believe this is my life.

I have tons of physical and mental issues, and life has not been kind nor fun at all. I've talked about how I've had to deal with loneliness and abuse before.

But for better or worse I have bigger issues now, being homeless!! hahaha...

Let me explain, I was previously working at Amazon, on the KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) section, I would take calls, chats, emails and such, the job was horrible, I would get abused everyday by people and I got PTSD from working there, literally, as in my body would get so tense on the shoulders that it would hurt really bad, and I would cry everyday.

Even so, it was a job and I needed it, but little by little Amazon started to give us agents more and more tasks with no compensation, so much that they sent us a SECOND computer, so we can work on processing refunds while still taking calls and two chats at the same time.

I don't know why, but receiving the second computer broke me, and I decided to quit, I've never felt more insulted in my life, and trust me I've gone through A LOT.

But now I'm in a really bad position, I've been searching for a new job for two month now and nothing is coming up, I still have bills to pay and a family to support, and I don't know what I'll do.

I setup a patreon and I've decided to start making comics, since I've seen many people do that before, I live in a 9th world country (Costa Rica) so I only need $100 per month, that's the absolute minimum that I need to pay the bank and avoid having a dude come to my house and break my legs hahaha....

Now, that's all way easier said than done, I wake up everyday to 2 - 3 rejection emails, I cried today because I got rejected from a job that forced me to a video interview with an AI for 40 MINUTES!

All of that only for to be rejected, I feel like a fool dancing in front of the companies, I don't care if I get abused anymore, I just want to have something and sleep properly again.

So yeah, I'm going through a hard time, and I would appreciate any kind of encouragement, I have no other choice, but you get the idea.

Not looking for a pity-party, but these last few weeks have been a roller coaster coming to a sad end. Not sure why making sincere and genuine connections with humans is fraught with so much deceit, heartache, and betrayal. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Just have to suck it up and drive on - and probably get a new rescue pup.

Hit me with your best r/ toastme!