r/tickling • u/VelvetRopeViper • 2h ago
Original Content Do you wanna see something kinky? Check out...THIS fuckin' thing. NSFW
There is a fundamental flaw in the fabric of the freakin' universe, and it is evidenced by the fact that somebody decided it was a good idea to give me - a mechanically minded, magnificently maladjusted, relentlessly resourceful weaponized fetishist with a pathological penchant for designing, developing, dismantling, and dramatically improving absolutely everything he gets his grubby little hands on - unrestricted access to a HARDWARE STORE.
With Adult Money!! waves a credit card
When you combine an aggressively overactive imagination, a pathological compulsion to build cool shit, an absolutely astronomical appreciation for applied engineering, and a conveniently located Tractor Supply, you get a spectacularly spicy situation in which the only meaningful limitations are the laws of physics, the collective available credit limit, and the increasingly concerned expression on my poor partner's face.
My particular flavor of neurodivergent nonsense manifests as an insatiable desire to take perfectly innocent pieces of agricultural equipment and transform them into increasingly elaborate examples of ergonomically engineered erotic eccentricity.
I'm tickling my 'tism, titillating your teats, and the testing the theoretical tolerances of several pieces of aluminum and crafting supplies that were absolutely NOT designed with this particular application in mind.
And here's the beautiful bit.
THIS IS VERSION ONE.
cut to Chris Boden in a straight jacket It's never a war crime the first time!
This is the prototype - purely proof of concept. The preliminary product of a profoundly peculiar personal passion project. This is the FIRST functional iteration of what promises to become a continuously evolving exercise in creative construction, calculated cruelty, and the completely unnecessary application of engineering principles to recreationally ridiculous activities.
I've already identified a positively preposterous plethora of potential improvements, including better padding, more practical positioning, superior structural support, and a whole host of delightfully devious design decisions that will make the next version even more versatile, more comfortable, and considerably more capable of accommodating my increasingly ambitious ideas.
The beautiful thing about building your own stuff is that you don't have to settle for what somebody else thought was good enough.
You build it. You test it. You find the flaws - you fix the flaws. You make it better.
And then you do it ALL OVER AGAIN.
And if somewhere along the way I get to turn a hundred bucks' worth of hardware-store hilarity into a spectacularly specialized piece of kinky engineering that makes my partner question precisely what kind of magnificent mechanical maniac she married?
I think THAT'S pretty cool.